by L. L. Ash
I didn’t want her gratitude, but I wanted something.
Hell, I wanted everything. I just couldn’t get those words out of my mouth.
She’d stepped into the hotel looking hella glowy, like she’d just had a sit at the sauna and a round of great sex, or five. Orgasms really put a blush on her cheeks and a sparkle in her eye.
Ivy had done that for me, once, and I remembered the look, having committed it to memory because I knew I’d probably never see it again.
Stomping to my bed, I threw myself down into it and hated everything around me for just a little while.
I hated that girl who came on to me like a starving kitten to a can of tuna, and I hated myself for giving in after the seventh or eighth proposition. The one good thing that happened was that I’d kept my shorts on and left her high and dry.
Ivy though? She’d slept with Mr. Massage without a second thought.
Growling, I punched my pillow a couple times and tried to get my brain back into its proper place.
Goddamn, I wanted to pull off my skin in frustration, then cut off that asshole’s balls and shove them in his eye sockets. He was inside my girl. His cum was probably still dripping down her thighs. Fuck it all to hell. Maybe I’d tear all my hair out before peeling out of my skin.
With a few punches to my lux pillow, then a therapeutic strangle attempt for a minute or two, I managed to calm myself down. I wasn’t so intent on murder anymore, so that was something.
Logically, I knew that I had no say on Ivy. I knew that she could fuck and suck whoever she wanted. But no matter what happened to us over the past eight years, she was still the first girl I ever loved, the first girl I ever wanted, and the only girl that still haunted my dreams at night.
That was why I’d fucking put so much space between us. When I didn’t see her going on dates and getting down and dirty, I didn’t know to be mad. Now we’d been thrown together into this marriage of our parents and I was up close and personal with everything
It wasn’t so bad at first, because in a lot of ways, it felt just like when we were kids. Having her around was like when we hung out at my house on days when her dad worked late and we would just hang out, shooting the breeze and wasting time. And in those moments, it brought something back to me that I hadn’t even realized I’d been missing.
It brought Ivy back into my life.
Her bright spirit and her sharp zest for life had only gotten stronger and brighter over the past few years. And while I’d thought that our moment in the closet of Hillary’s basement would finally get her out of my system, it only made me crave her more. I wanted to taste her and feel her and be inside her again. Instead of banishing her from me, it only branded her on my every molecule; on every atom of my being.
I’d spent my first year at college trying to fuck her out of my system instead of focusing on my classes, and all that did was cement the fact that no other girl could possibly fill that place in my heart, mind, or soul that Ivy had already claimed.
Ever since then, I’d just put my head down, focused on school and took on more shifts at Mac’s Tow and Repair.
I’d gotten a job with them halfway through first year, and that was when I’d really started settling down into my new life outside of Malibu. For the first time, I wasn’t just the fuckboy, and I wasn’t just the badass that was always hovering over the shy Bell girl. Yes, I was still the badass on campus, and yes, I still held the reputation of fuckboy, even though I hadn’t been in a pussy for months, but that was just what I was used to, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to change that. It sure made life easy.
But it pushed Ivy further away, along with everything else.
Sighing, I collapsed onto my bed and shoved my hands into my hair, catching my fingers on the salt-sticky strands.
Fuck, I needed a shower.
Shoving everything out of my brain, I got up and gathered some clothes before padding out of my room to the bathroom. It always smelled like girly shit and flowers in there, and I loved every second of it.
Aaaand the bathroom was occupied.
Leaning against the door frame, I considered going in and shutting myself in there with a naked Ivy. She would probably punch me in the balls.
I grinned at the thought. Ivy had always been a spitfire with me, even though most everyone else thought she was a shy, quiet girl. But oh man, she could really bite your head off if she felt safe around you.
I licked my lips, my fingers going up to the doorknob and moving to twist it. If she took off my balls, it would be worth it.
I twisted the handle, but it stopped.
Locked.
Cursing under my breath, I thumped my head on the door.
“What?” Ivy called through the door.
“What’s taking so long?”
“I just got in! Snoozers are losers!”
I grinned at that.
We’d been saying that to each other forever. At least, we used to.
“Open up,” I called, knocking on the door again.
“You can wait!”
“I have to piss.”
“Use the other bathroom!”
“I’m not using the fuck-atorium. That’s disgusting!”
I heard her laugh from the shower, and that made me chuckle, too. The sound of her laugh was like a balm to my soul, and I kind of hated the fact.
It made me ache for her even more
“Fine, piss and leave,” I heard her say through the door.
I wiggled the handle again, making it loud so she could hear it.
A rumble of curses echoed through the door before I heard the click of the lock disengaging.
“Wait,” she warned, then I heard her footsteps as she hurried into the shower again.
I didn’t wait.
Flinging open the door, I let myself in just as her ass disappeared behind the sliding, frosted glass door to the shower tub.
The little glimpse wasn’t enough. I wanted to help myself to the shower door and crawl in, wrapping myself around her, both of us dripping wet and panting and fucking and—
“The hell?” she snapped. “Pee and get out of here!”
“Sure you don’t need someone to wash your back?” I asked, taking a step toward the frosted glass.
“Pretty sure that’s not what a normal brother says to his sister,” she snapped back.
“Pretty sure a normal brother hasn’t fucked his sister into the ground and eaten her out until she was writhing and biting back a scream.”
She was quiet.
Really fucking quiet.
Not another minute passed before she was shutting off the water and swiping the towel off the top of the shower door. I could see her wrapping it around her body in the shady silhouette of the shower and stepped back as she practically charged out.
With bright strands of hair dripping water onto her bare, creamy shoulders, she got all up in my face and pointed a black-painted fingernail into my nose.
“You don’t get to say that,” she growled. “It’s been years since that happened, and not only do you like to pretend that it didn’t even happen most of the time, but you keep rubbing it in my face whenever it suits you!”
She grabbed her clothes off the counter and whirled on me one more time.
“Just so you know, something I like about Jamie is that he goes after what he wants. He doesn’t play games, and he is real with me. You can say whatever you want, but whatever happened that made you turn into the world’s biggest asshole, you can keep it and shove it right back up that overstretched anus of yours. Fuck you, Hunter Hayes.”
With that, she blew past me and slammed the door in my face.
Hell’s bell…
I fucking deserved it.
- 25 -
Ivory
Six Years Ago
High school.
I’d always thought Hunter and I would start high school together.
Well, he started a year before me, but still. It should have been me
who sat with him at the back of the bus. It should have been me he had his arm around.
Instead, he was flirting with a girl in the back while I sat alone near the front.
God, it hurt.
I’d thought that the past year in middle school without him had been tragically painful, but seeing him all over someone else was… It was heart wrenching.
The bus stopped a minute later, just as tears were starting to well up, threatening to spill down my cheeks.
A cute blondie strolled onto the bus, and I didn’t recognize her, so she must have been new. We certainly hadn’t gone to middle school together. I would’ve remembered.
“Hi,” she said, stopping right next to me. “Mind if I sit here?”
I was still fighting back tears, but her smile was warm and infectious.
I gave her a smile in return and scootched over in the bench seat, giving her room to sit beside me.
“I’m Hillary,” she said, fiddling with the waist laces of her fancy jeans. “I just moved here from Quebec. It’s so much different here!”
We were both quiet, because I didn’t know what to say.
Strangers didn’t scare me, per say, but I wasn’t a big talker.
Somehow Hillary must have known, because she just smiled at me and said, “I love your hair! It’s so pretty! What’s your name?”
A sort of calm settled over me, like I knew from that moment that we would be friends.
“Ivory,” I said, ditching the old ‘Ivy’ that Hunter had always called me. “Ivory Bell. It’s nice to meet you, Hillary.”
She giggled and threw her arms around me, and for the rest of the bus ride, she didn’t stop talking and asking questions about me and Malibu.
“Seriously, who is that? He’s sooooo cute!”
I turned and looked around the lunch room.
There were a lot of new kids and older kids that I didn’t know, so she could be asking about literally anyone. And I likely didn’t have an answer.
I looked around and followed her discreet finger as she pointed toward the ‘popular’ table.
Ava Lee and her cronies, as well as Hunter and his dudes were sitting there, munching and laughing like they had no worries in the world.
“Which one?” I droned, practically rolling my eyes.
“The blond one in the blue shirt,” she said, voice dripping with awe.
I sneered and she noticed, her grin turning into a frown.
“That’s Hunter Hayes,” I told her, “biggest jerk in the whole school.”
She stared at me for a minute, then back at him.
Hunter was staring right back at me, but I just tried to ignore him.
“Sooo, I feel like there’s a story there,” Hillary said, bouncing back and forth between us until one of Hunter’s buddies distracted him.
“He’s nothing to me,” I said, trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince her.
“Well, we all know that isn’t true.”
“How would you know? You just got here,” I snarked.
Hillary looked hurt, and I felt bad about snapping at her when Hunter was my problem, not hers.
“There’s history,” I admitted, “but not anything good. I just try to avoid him, for the most part.”
With a resolute nod, Hillary turned her back to them and said, “They don’t exist to me. Got it.”
And you know what? She’d ignored them and stayed at my side ever since.
- 26 -
Ivory
The flight home was almost as awkward as the one to Hawaii. And like the first, Hunter and I were forced to sit next to each other, and that was the awkward part. I tried to put my headphones in and get some sleep, but of course, Hunter wouldn’t let me. His knee kept bumping into mine, which sent shocks of electricity through me each time they touched, then he would shift and wriggle and move around every two seconds keeping me focused on him.
“Can you stop it?” I hissed as he moved his ass again.
“What?” he practically whined.
He wiggled again.
“Why are you moving so much?”
He just stared forward and ignored me.
“Hunter!”
“I have to shit,” he mumbled, a hint of pink creeping up his tanned cheeks.
A giggle bubbled up my throat, and he gave me a death glare.
“You do know there’s a bathroom on the plane, right?” I whispered.
“I’m not going to shit on an airplane, clogging that shit up and stinking up the place!”
Yeah, my fight against laughter was lost instantly, and it burst from my mouth, making Hunter’s blush grow while he sank down into his seat.
“Hunt, go,” I told him, getting out of my seat so he didn’t have a choice but to go, too.
I shoved him toward the back as he made the walk of shame toward the tiny little room.
Not even three minutes later, he was back to his seat smelling of the rose scented soap that’s in a majority of public restrooms.
“Feel better?” I asked.
He huffed, but nodded before pulling out his phone and trying to sink back into his seat and disappear.
“You’re welcome,” I sang into his ear, just to make him feel even more embarrassed.
He turned his head toward mine so that our noses were an inch apart.
“It’s not going to work.”
Lifting a brow, I silently questioned him.
“It’s already done; you can’t make me feel bad about it any more.”
Well damn.
His grin spread all over his face before he moved his head over to whisper in my ear, “everyone poops.”
I started laughing again, and that smug, self-assured look he usually wore melted away to the happy, carefree expression that he used to wear when we were kids.
Rolling my eyes, I felt my tight shoulders relax and my body ease as we chuckled together over his childish, but correct, statement.
“You’re an idiot,” I told him quietly, resting my tired head on his shoulder.
Funny, my head still fit perfectly, just like it did almost a decade ago.
“I know,” he agreed, leaning his head on top of mine.
It didn’t fix things. Not by a long shot, but we had to figure out a way to get along, and, well, it was a good start.
Several texts came through on my phone when I turned it back on as we drove home from the airport.
I had been driving myself nuts trying to figure out what I was going to do with myself now that Penelope and Hunter would be living with us. What would life be like with them in my house for the next month and a half?
Another ding rang through the car that reminded me of my unread messages.
Three were from Hillary, who was demanding the scoop.
I was a bad friend, because I’d been avoiding her so I didn’t have to tell her about Dad’s marriage and my subsequent step-hood to my ex-best friend and also my current, annoying obsession.
She would need a phone call, and I’d never had enough privacy, so she just had to wait.
Two texts were from Kai wishing me a safe flight, and—
I sucked in a breath when I saw an unknown number send five words that made my heart start beating hard.
Unknown: Can’t stop thinking about you.
Jamie.
“Who’s that?” Hunter asked, leaning over my shoulder to read my text.
Not going to lie, I let him see it before turning off my phone.
No matter how he treated me, men were still interested in me, and I didn’t need to accept his douchey tendencies.
Not that I wanted his D or anything…
“Masseuse dude?” he asked.
How the hell did he know?
“Masseuse?” Penelope piped in from the front seat.
She turned around as dad looked at me through the rear view mirror.
Hunter smirked and settled back as he soaked in my ‘oh shit’ expression.
“You
mean that handsome one from the spa?” Penelope asked, peeking around the headrest.
I squeaked out an ‘uh huh’ and watched dad’s eyes narrow.
“Why does the person who gave you a massage have your number?” he asked.
“That’s a good question,” Hunter added.
“Hunt, butt out,” Dad told him, which made me send him a smirk of my own.
“I met him at the bar later on,” I admitted.
“What were you doing at a bar?” Dad demanded, fingers tightening on the steering wheel.
“First of all, I’d like to point out that Hunter brought me to the bar, and secondly, it was happenstance, and we just happen to have a lot in common.”
“Like what?” Hunter scoffed.
“Excuse me?” Dad interrupted again. “Hunter brought you into a bar?”
“It was the one in the hotel restaurant,” Hunter defended. “Ivy’s just trying to get me in trouble. I made her drink soda.”
“Listen to them,” Penelope put in, grinning at Dad. “They sound like siblings already.”
Well, if that wasn’t a sobering thought—
“Just don’t bring my baby girl to a bar, ok Hunter?” Dad told him, eyeing him through the mirror.
“I’ll be twenty-one in three weeks, Dad,” I put in, but he didn’t seem happy about that, either.
“What are you going to do?” Penelope asked, moving me away from Dad’s put-out stare between glances at the road.
I shrugged.
“I was thinking about going back to LA with Hillary, to go out with some friends.”
“You don’t want to go out with good old dad?” Dad asked, obviously having dropped the stuff about Jamie and the bar.
I just laughed, which put a smile back on his face.
“She doesn’t want to spend her first night barcrawling with her mom and dad,” Penelope said, freely using the M word referring to me.
“What did you do, Hunt?” Dad asked, moving one of his hands off the wheel to take Penelope’s in his with a squeeze.
Hunter choked a little, then looked out the window like somehow Dad would just forget that he’d just asked him a question.
“Yeah, what did you do?” Penelope asked, turning to her son with a glitter of mischief in her eyes.