by L. L. Ash
“Sure, I could eat,” I agreed.
He let out a relieved breath and led me through the interior door to the kitchen.
Shiny marble and stainless steel almost blinded me when he turned on the light.
Jamie dug into the fridge and pulled out a few containers. It wasn't takeout like I’d thought, but what looked like actual leftovers from something he’d cooked.
“You cook?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“I stress cook,” he admitted with a half smile.
I snatched a spoonful of his greek salad and hummed my pleasure.
“Remind me to keep you stressed,” I mumbled through my bite.
Jamie laughed, his grin showing the deep dimple in his cheek.
“Let’s not.” He shook his head. “Unless you’re going to eat it. I’ll get fat by the end of the year at this rate.”
“I’m happy to eat it. I was never one for cooking. Not that I can’t, just that I don’t like to.”
Jamie zapped the food in the microwave, then we stacked it on room temperature flatbread and topped it with tzatziki sauce and the cucumber and olive salad.
“C’mon. I’ve got our show, too. Let’s finish that episode.”
Jamie led the way to the living room that was sparsely furnished with a big TV and a buttery, white leather couch.
“Sorry, I had to sell everything off in Hawaii before coming here. Too hard to move it.”
“Stop apologizing,” I told him, bumping my shoulder against his. “It’s only been two weeks. Give yourself a break.”
He gave a little huff with his smile.
“Yeah, I’m not good at that,” he admitted. “We’re our own worst critics, right?”
It was my turn to scoff.
“Look at this place, Jamie. Look at you. You’re already way ahead of most people your age.”
“It’s not me though,” he said, shifting on the couch and putting his plate of uneaten food on the cushion next to him.
“What do you mean?”
He bit his lip and looked down, like he had something terrible to tell me. With a heavy sigh, he shrugged.
“This is all my family's. No way could I afford this on a massage therapist’s salary.”
What the hell did that mean?
“You’re going to have to help me out here,” I told him.
He shrugged again.
“Family Business. That simple.”
“And?”
He stared at me like I was nuts.
I just stared right back.
“That doesn’t bother you?” he asked in a quiet voice.
Maybe it made me a total asshole, but I laughed.
Jamie looked completely taken aback.
“Jamie, why the hell would that bother me? So what? You were lucky enough to have money passed down. What difference does that make to me?”
He stuttered for a second, then sat back on the couch, baffled.
“What is it?”
Obviously this wasn’t the reaction he’d anticipated.
“You really don’t care,” he said with an astonished inflection to his voice.
“No.”
“I’ll be damned,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve never met a girl like you who didn’t care.”
“What do you mean ‘a girl like me’?”
“Someone who’s strong and bold and brilliant like you are,” he admitted. “The minute I admit it’s not my money, it’s like, suddenly I’m not a man anymore. Like this is all that I am, and they’re left lacking.”
“Then that makes them raging bitches,” I told him, totally deadpan. “Whether you have money or not, or whether your family has money or not, doesn’t change a single thing about who you are, what you’re capable of, or how I see you. You’re you, and I like you for your personality, your great sense of humor, and your wicked bod, not something as stupid as green paper.”
As I spoke, his surprised expression turned to awe, and his lips parted, looking juicy and inviting like those grapes you see in commercials.
“You’re incredible,” he breathed.
Pretty much, yeah, I was.
I started saying as much, just to ease the tension that had settled around us, but I didn’t really need to. Jamie leaned slowly forward and touched his lips to mine mid-word in the softest, most precious kiss I’d ever gotten.
Fuck dinner. I was in major need of a distraction, and I was looking a fantastic one right in the literal face. Jamie’s breath brushed against my mouth as he backed away an inch, but I managed to set my plate aside so I wouldn’t spill it, then went at him like a rabid animal.
My heart was still crushed, and I wanted to flux between raging and crying, but he needed comfort too. And at least for his pains, I could offer a remedy. Mine, not so much.
Just like in Hawaii, there was something about him that made me feel bold and empowered, brave and carefree. I did things I never thought I could do, like climb onto his lap and grind myself down on him while eating his face.
He was panting almost instantly, hands wrapping around me, one over my hip and the other around my cheek to get a better angle to duel his tongue with mine.
We had never properly fucked, even over the two weeks we’d been dating. He’d been respectful, careful, and a total gentleman, and I needed that. I needed to get to know him. Hell, he needed to get to know me, too. But there was no going back from this because we needed this, too.
I wanted Jamie to know that a woman could want him despite his family or whatever he was thinking, and dammit, I needed to know that there was life outside of Hunter Hayes. I needed to know that I could fall in love with someone else, and that I could be happy without him, even if we were now stuck together because of our parents. And if Jamie couldn’t do it, then...
“Holy shit,” Jamie gasped against my lips as I gave a particularly rough grind. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna jizz in my pants.”
I gave a little smile, even as the pit of my stomach compared each of his kisses to Hunter’s, leaving me lacking. I missed that little metallic ring in his lip, sucking on it and fiddling with it while he panted in my face.
“You got a bedroom in this place?” I asked, forcing myself away from those thoughts.
I was wet and aching and I needed a penis in me yesterday.
“Upstairs,” he said quickly, practically jumping off the couch before he grabbed my hand and led the way two steps at a time up a curvy, beautiful staircase.
The bedroom was more filled out, at least it seemed so from the quick glimpse I got. Honey wood bed frame and dressers, as well as a nightstand on the side of the bed I could see.
That was the whole of my exploration though, because he pulled me to him and gripped my ass, hauling me up to the tall mattress before kissing me all over again.
I gripped the hem of my t-shirt, dragging it up and over my body while he undid the button of my pants.
“You sure?” he asked between kisses.
“I’m sure,” I told him as his mouth trailed down my neck to press tiny kisses all down the edge of my bra. “Stop asking and fuck me already.”
He chuckled, his breath puffing against my skin and making me break out in goosebumps.
He might not have compared to Hunter, but damn, he still made me a melty, ridiculously needy mess in no time.
My pants slid down my thighs as my fingers dug into his shirt, brushing along each ridge and bump of his abdomen. I heard the soft flick and whir of his pants, then he was climbing up onto the bed, strong body framing mine and hovering over me.
“Got a condom this time?” I asked him, which made him smile against my lips.
“I got a condom,” he agreed. “I wasn’t going to get caught with my pants on this time.”
I laughed breathlessly at the stupid, but funny, joke, but he cut it off when his hands tore down my panties and his mouth left mine. He was suddenly off me, and I could feel his hot breath between my thighs. His fingers dug into the
flesh of my hips as he spread me further, then his tongue flicked out and licked me properly.
My arms flung out around me and I gripped the comforter beneath me. Fuck, it felt good.
“Oh God,” I murmured, digging my hands into his golden hair. “Fuck, Hunt—”
The tongue stopped, and my eyes shot open when I realized what I’d done.
“As in, Hunter, your brother?” Jamie asked slowly, his face lifting toward me and glistening with my essence all over his lips and chin.
Aw, shit! How was I supposed to explain it?
“You’re not actually siblings, are you?” he asked now, moving away from me with hurt on his face.
Moisture filled my eyes and I drew my legs closed, feeling suddenly vulnerable. I didn’t like it.
“He is,” I said in a whisper. “Legally. Step-brother, anyway.”
Jamie let out a long, brutal sigh.
“Our parents got married a couple months ago.”
“Shit,” Jamie breathed.
I could ditto that sentiment.
“I’ve known him since we were kids,” I whispered, pulling my knees to my chest and covering my breasts with folded arms.
Jamie got up and moved, reaching over me before he drew a big, fluffy gold blanket over my shoulders.
“And?” he asked, much like I had only twenty minutes earlier.
“We were inseparable for years. Something happened and he turned into a royal asshat. We stopped being friends. I only talked to him once in the past almost decade until our parents surprised us with their Vegas wedding.”
“Vegas wedding?” he parroted, looking shocked.
“Yeah. They laid that one like a bomb on us at the start of summer break.”
With another long sigh, Jamie slipped under the comforter and patted the spot next to him.
“If you’re willing to tell the story, I’m willing to listen.”
Damn, this man was too good for me.
Or maybe, he was just the right kind of man I needed.
“So, you love him,” Jamie said, summing up the last hour of conversation.
I just shrugged, unable to deny it.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing will ever happen.”
“But, do you want to be with him?” he asked me, looking into my eyes. “I’m pretty relaxed, but I’m not ok being the second best here. Both of us deserve better than that.”
“No, no, Jamie. I’ve tried to work things out with him, and it will never work. He’s too broken. I’m here with you, because I want to give whatever this is, a real chance. Believe me, I don’t want to be in love with him. I don’t want to think about him or say his name while I—”
“But you did,” he said gently.
“I don’t want to...”
Miserable tears welled in my eyes again, and the frustration I saw in Jamie’s face eased a little. He lifted his fingers to my cheeks and wiped away my tears as they fell.
“Then we’ll give it a shot,” he agreed softly. “And if this doesn’t work out, then we tell each other. No playing games, no lying. Those are my caveats. I can’t say anything about love, yet, but I really like you, Ivory. I care about you. If you’re for real about trying to make this work, then so am I.”
Was he for real? Or was he a Disney prince that someone forgot to get put in a movie?
“You’re...you’re the best,” I said lamely.
He chuckled, his knuckles running over my tear-splotchy cheeks lovingly.
“Funny, I was just about to say that about you.”
A little smile lifted the sides of my cheeks and he grinned back.
“There it is. I was missing it there for a minute.”
And of course, that had me laughing.
His grin melted a little as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine, which felt puffy and sensitive now from my crying.
I closed my eyes and accepted the kiss. Hell, I wanted it. I wanted everything, and not just as a distraction. Jamie was a good man, and I would be lucky to have him.
The soft, gentle kiss turned into another, and then another, and then we were freaking exchanging souls though our mouths after the intimacy of our talk. I’d never felt so close or connected to a person before, other than Hunter, and hope swelled in my belly for us. Maybe there was life after Hunter Hayes.
I’ll be damned.
- 46 -
Ivory
I didn’t really leave his bed after that.
After the fallout with Hunter, and the talk I’d had with Jamie, I finally felt like I was on a straight and narrow path, and Jamie was right there with me.
Together, when I knew Hunter was at work, he’d helped me move out, and brought my shit to his house. I talked briefly about getting my own place, but Jamie just shook his head at me and smiled.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. I’d love it if you did.”
So, I did.
The drive from Hollywood was longer to get to school, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Especially considering that small convenience compared to having to tell Dad and Penelope that I wasn’t living with Hunter anymore and needed help getting a place.
In my calls to Dad, it turned out that Hunter hadn’t mentioned it, either.
So, three weeks in and I was still there, still in Jamie’s bed, and he was still balls deep in me, even though we’d been going at it like bunnies for the past hour straight.
“Don’t stop,” I whimpered when he started slowing down his thrusts.
Jamie grinned.
“Not a chance in hell,” he agreed. “Turn around.”
I grinned and did what he said, giving him my ass to ram into, instead.
It was his favorite position, and we almost always ended up with me on all fours and him framing my back or on his knees behind me.
He groaned his pleasure when he came, and I smiled, feeling just peachy after my two orgasms.
I settled onto my belly and he cuddled me, wrapping himself around me as our weak, sweaty bodies panted.
“Do you want to get away this weekend?” he asked quietly into my ear, fingers stroking through my hair as our lungs finally settled down enough to talk normally again.
“Where?” I asked with a little laugh.
He shrugged behind me.
“Somewhere. I just want to get away with you. Maybe rent a little cottage up north, or even further south. Get away from the city and your school, and my job.”
Oh, right, I forgot to mention that Jamie was back to work, having had no difficulty getting a job at a top rated spa nearby.
And another thing, I got massages at least every couple days when I looked stressed.
Talk about the perks of dating a massage therapist.
“That sounds nice,” I agreed, “but I have so much homework to do this weekend...”
“Ok. If you can’t, then you can’t. I just kind of feel like we did this all weird and I want to woo you.”
“Give me another one of those abhyanga oil massages again and I’ll be indebted to you for life.”
He chuckled.
“How about I set up a whole evening?” he asked. “This Saturday, you’re mine. No homework or friends or work or anything. Just you and me.”
Turning over a little, I looked into his forest green eyes and grinned.
“You have a freaking deal.”
- 47 -
Hunter
Even Gauge was steering clear of me, that was how bad my mood was.
No joke, I was ready to throttle everyone at a moment’s notice, and that was just the least of it.
“What do you mean,” I asked very slowly, “she’s staying with someone else? Who else would she stay with?”
I’d been hounding Hillary for weeks now to get info on Ivy out of her, but she refused to let a single thing slip, until today.
Her face morphed into satisfied pleasure.
“With another guy. They’re living together, now. She doesn’t need you,
Hunter. You’re not good enough for her. You treat her like living shit.”
Yeah, yeah I knew all that. But some dude? She was living with some dude?
It hit me like lightning in the chest the moment I realized who it was.
“Massage guy,” I hissed. “Jamie.”
The look of worry on her face was every answer I needed.
I did a 180 and turned around, stomping toward the main building for my next class.
It just so happened to be right next to Ivy’s next class, too.
I waited outside the door for almost ten minutes, letting my anger fester and grow until I saw a glimpse of her and that cobalt and pink striped hair. I could pick her out in a crowd, and not just because of her bright hairdo. Ivy pulled me like a fish on a rod, and I couldn’t pull away no matter how hard I tried.
“Psycho dude?” I demanded while she approached, not even noticing me, which hurt like a giant shard of glass in my chest.
Ivy pulled back, pressing her hand to her chest in surprise as her eyes instantly ran up and down me.
“What the hell?” she demanded in a quiet hiss. “Don’t talk to me.”
Desperate, I reached out and grabbed her arm. It sent bolts of lightning up my skin and down to my bones.
“You left me for him?” I asked, trying not to let the hurt shine through.
She snorted in the most adorable and unladylike way.
“I left you? I left you? You’re fucking delusional, Hunter. In case you forgot, you kicked me out of my own house, and I had nowhere to go.”
“I didn’t mean it,” I whispered, feeling my chest compress and my throat squeeze.
“I don’t care what you meant. Jamie’s been there for me, and he’s been a much better friend to me than you ever have been.”
Her eyes lit with cruel amusement as she smiled.
“And he’s a better fuck than you.”
I tried to swallow. I really did.
Ivy snatched her arm away and went into her class while I stood outside mine.
My guts wanted to puke and scream and roll all at the same time, and it made me feel so fucking nauseous.
Just like on that day in eight grade, I felt like my whole chest had been hollowed out and a cactus had replaced it, pricking me over and over again with venomous spines that bled acid into my veins. With a low, deep groan of sorrow, the doors closed on me and classes started.