Pilar could hardly believe that her mother was bringing up that subject. She realized that she was uncomfortable talking with Luz about it, now, so many years after they'd buried it. "You don't understand."
A freshly toasted quesadilla on a blue-rimmed plate slid onto the table. "I am your mama. Of course I understand." She pushed the plate toward Pilar. "Eat. You'll feel better."
Pilar looked into her mother's lined face. There had been great beauty there once, but life had worn away some of it like rain on sandstone. "Why are you bringing this up now? You haven't wanted to talk about it ever before."
"Because now is the right time to talk about it, niña."
Pilar ate for a minute while her mother sat across the table from her, staring pensively into a cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, mama. I know I embarrassed you."
"I was unhappy, yes. But you did what you thought you had to do, Pilar. I know that. You are not a prostitute."
"No. I didn't do that. I would never do that."
Luz patted her hand. "Eat. I know you're a good girl at heart."
"Thank you, mama."
"This doctor, he knows that too."
Pilar snorted. "He doesn't know about my past. I haven't told him. I don't want to watch him shrink away from me."
"Your shame is preventing you from seeing what really is, Pilar. You should tell him. He will accept you. He loves you."
"I think you're wrong, Mama. But I do plan to tell him. Tomorrow."
Luz stared at Pilar for a few long moments, and Pilar dropped her gaze to her plate. Her food was eaten, but she was uncomfortable under her mother's scrutiny.
"Do you love him?"
"You can tell he loves me, but you can't tell if I love him?"
Pilar's mother looked surprised and hurt.
"I'm sorry, mama. I didn't mean to be disrespectful." She was messing this up. Her mother was being kind and supportive, and Pilar was being nothing but bitter in response.
"Yes, I can tell how you feel about him Pilar. I just want to hear it from your own lips."
She'd never said it aloud. There was almost a superstitious feeling of risk involved with saying the words. But that was silly. They were words. And Deuce wasn't here to hear them. "Yes, Mama, I love him."
"There," the older woman said with a kind smile. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Pilar smiled timidly. "Yes."
They both laughed at the confession, tension relieved.
"You can stay here overnight, Pilar. You can sleep on the couch."
"No, Mama. I have to go to work in the morning, and my clothes and things are at my apartment. I can't stay." She picked up her plate and took it to the sink to wash it and put it away. As she did, she and her mother chatted about Ricky, both worried about him, but unable to figure out a way to keep him safe. It was getting late, though, and Pilar was tired. They said their goodnights and Pilar drove home.
The next morning, she called Deuce before work. He sounded chipper when he picked up the phone, and Pilar was glad she'd gotten a decent night's sleep. She needed all her energy, faced with the prospect of killing his upbeat mood.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey, yourself," she started. "I want to see you after work, would that be okay?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
Pilar had given the particulars some serious consideration. "Come over to my apartment?"
"Enchiladas again? My mouth is watering."
She laughed, though it sounded hollow. "I haven't gotten that far in the plan. Seven o'clock?"
"Okay. I'll be there."
"Deuce, I…" It would be wrong to tell him how she felt about him. It would heap more misery and humiliation on an already painful situation. But, oh how she wanted to tell him.
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Me, too! Bye, sugar!"
The day went by so quickly, Pilar hardly had time to think about things. Her bottom had stopped smarting, so there was little to remind her of the unpleasantness of the day before. In quiet moments, however, twinges of sadness poked her like cactus spines, but something would happen at work and she'd have to move on.
Once at home, she put together a little wine and cheese and changed into a pretty, but not too sexy, dress. She checked her hair and makeup, and though her eyes still appeared tired, she didn't think she looked bedraggled.
He arrived precisely on time, and the first thing she saw when she opened the door was a large mixed bouquet of flowers.
"Oh! I invited a doctor to dinner but apparently I got a florist instead."
He joked right back, handing over the flowers and coming into the apartment. "That's me, your friendly neighborhood florist, here to tease your rosebuds."
She blushed, accepting his kiss demurely. His expression turned a little puzzled at her hesitation, but Deuce smiled and caressed her cheek affectionately.
Pilar stepped away and tried to smile. "Sit down while I put these away. There are appetizers on the coffee table. Red wine okay?"
He sat. "Fine, yes. Do you need help opening it?"
"No, I did it before you came. I'm getting better at it," she called from the kitchen.
Deuce looked up at her as she returned with their wine. If he thought it odd that she'd choose a chair across from him rather than sitting next to him on the couch, he didn't say anything.
It was pleasant here with him, but her discomfort over what she had to say spoiled it for her. If her mother was right and he loved her, maybe—just maybe--he might accept her the way she was. Of course, that wouldn't solve the problem of how her past would affect his career. That was a tough nut to crack.
"Deuce…"
"Yeah, sugar?" He leaned back against the couch, one arm thrown over its back.
"I want to tell you what I was going to tell you the other night--the night you had to go back to the hospital."
His expression became more serious. "The night you ran away, you mean."
She nearly flinched at the memory of how badly she'd behaved. "Yes." Pilar took a deep breath. The speech had been there for her as she drove home from work, but it was gone now. Instead, she hesitated so long that he arched an eyebrow at her.
"Pilar?"
She cleared her throat. "Right. Well, it's about my past."
"Okay."
"As I told you before, I couldn't take out student loans to go to college. So I had to earn my way."
"Lots of people work through college. I worked on the ranch during the summers and at a veterinary clinic during the school year."
"My job was less… Deuce, I did something I don't think you'll approve of. My family doesn't approve. No one approves. Even I don't approve, and I know why it had to be the way it was."
His lips tightened, but he kept his gaze on her. "I'm listenin'."
"I was an exotic dancer…at a strip club."
"I know."
Pilar found her mouth agape. "You know? You know I was a dancer?"
He nodded. "Sure. I've known it for a while now. Your name sounded familiar, so I looked it up on the 'net. You were linked to a minor scandal with LeRidell Owanto a few years ago. I read the sports pages every day, sugar."
"But Deuce, I took my clothes off for strange men. I danced lewdly to turn them on! I had money thrown up on stage at me when I was so naked they couldn't even stuff it into a g-string!"
"A pretty woman like you must have made a lot of money."
"Deuce! Aren't you mad at me? Don't you think I'm a slut? LeRidell went running as though I was a vampire."
He leaned forward, pinning her with his eyes, his forearms resting on his knees. "Are you a slut?"
"N-no."
He sat back again. "Pilar…" After a pause, he went on. "Pilar, everyone has a past. I have Stacy in my past. You have exotic dancing in your past. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we do tough things that we regret later. But that doesn't change who we fundamentally are. You're a good person. Whether you're naked as a
dancer, or naked on a beach in Jamaica, or naked just for me, the real Pilar isn't what's on the outside. She's what's on the inside." He paused for a moment. "She's the Pilar I love."
The room spun around her for a second and her voice came out in a squeak. "You love me?"
He nodded. "Sure do."
"I don't think I can deal with this."
Deuce gave a short bark of laughter. "This is where you tell me you love me, too. You're not supposed to look like you ate a persimmon."
Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour. Deuce loved her. He was still sitting there, calmly sipping his wine, not running for the hills with his reputation still intact.
"But what about your career? Don't you think having an exotic dancer as a girlfriend will reflect badly on you?"
"Former exotic dancer. I think it's kinda sexy, actually. Maybe I can get a pole for my bedroom."
How could he be joking when she was going crazy inside? "Deuce. You know what I mean. What about your professional life? Won't my past make you look bad?"
He addressed her concerns succinctly. "No."
"Just no? What do you mean 'no'?"
"No usually means no, Pilar."
Pilar stared at him. This isn't how she thought it would go at all. Her body shook with reaction, and she fought to deal with her disbelief. "You really mean that?"
"Yes, I do. And if anyone, I mean anyone, tries to make you out to be a slut, they'll have me to answer to. I don't take kindly to havin' my girl disrespected."
A thrumming warmth spread through the center of her. "Deuce, I…Deuce, I love you, too."
"Then why are you sitting all the way over there?" He patted his lap and put his wine down.
Pilar made a little noise of excitement, and bustled over to throw her arms around him and snuggle into his lap. She peppered his chin with kisses, saying, "I love you," again and again.
He laughed at the tickling and stroked her hair.
"I ought to spank you for holding back again," he murmured into the shell of her ear.
"I'm sorry. I was scared that you would hate me."
"I know. You'd had a very bad experience before. I won't spank you this time. Not for misbehavior anyway." He drew away from her slightly and stared into her eyes seriously. "No more secrets to tell?"
"No!"
"Promise?"
"I promise. That's it." She made a crossing gesture over her chest.
He smiled. "Good."
They snuggled in silence for several minutes. "Thank you for taking care of Ricky yesterday, Deuce. My mama says he's a lot better today, though he apparently looks like hell."
"It'll take a while for that bruising to go away. I spoke to your father about Ricky while you were asleep last night."
"My father? Why?"
"I think Ricky ought to be away from Houston, away from the gangs for a while. School's almost out for the summer, and I asked my dad if he'd be willing to take on a green cowhand for a few months. He agreed."
"You mean take Ricky to your family's ranch to work?"
"For the summer, yes."
"Wow." She looked deeply into his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and affection there…well, maybe also a dose of lust. "Your dad is okay with this?"
"Yeah."
"You know, Ricky has been a city boy all his life. He'll be a fish out of water."
"My dad has a way with people. If anyone can get a start on straightening that boy out, it'll be him."
Pilar's heart swelled so full of love that she thought it might burst, but she knew Ricky would be a tough sell. "He won't want to go."
"Maybe not. But he might surprise you. I got a chance to talk with him a little—he didn't have a choice with me pawing his face—and he is very unhappy with the way things are going. He confessed to me that things had gotten out of hand. He even apologized to me about my having to bail him out."
"Really? You must have a fine bedside manner, Dr. Journey."
He grinned. "I'm better in the bed, chica. How about if I demonstrate?"
An electrical charge whipped through Pilar's body, and her nipples hardened. "What about dinner?"
"I'm only interested in eating you."
Her face flushed. "You are so bad."
He made a face of mock surprise. "But you usually say I'm so good!"
Giggling, she took him by the collar and gave him a searing kiss, wrapping her tongue around his and giving it nips and tugs. He let her be the aggressor for a few moments, then took charge, pressing her down into the soft couch and looming over her while his mouth possessed hers.
"You're naughty to taunt a man like that, sugar," he said as he kissed down her throat and over her collar bones.
Pleasure radiated from every place his lips traveled. "What happens to naughty girls?"
He chuckled, even as he unbuttoned the front of her dress and buried his face between her breasts. The deep rumble in her cleavage made her nipples harden. Deuce pulled down the lacy cups of her bra and nipped her tender skin.
Pilar arched up against him. "More," she whispered.
"Greedy," he said, but he didn't hesitate to suckle on the peaked nipple he found.
She hummed with delight, running her fingers through his hair, until he pushed up on his arms and gazed down at her. His eyes were fever bright, like back-lit glaciers. Bulges formed in the sleeves of his oxford shirt as his muscles bunched beneath. "I'm gonna make you dance for me, sugar. Dance on me, dance under me, dance until the sun rises tomorrow. You're my dancer now, only mine."
Delight made her fingers tremble as she touched his face. She wanted to purr. All she could do was give him a tender smile and nod.
Deuce pushed off and stood, taking her hand and guiding her into her bedroom.
He flipped the light switch, and the small light on her bedside table lit, its incandescent bulb dimmed and shaded by the rosy scarf she'd thrown over the lampshade for color. Pilar hadn't expected the evening to go this way, so her work clothes were scattered on her queen sized bed. Deuce swept them off onto the floor and gave her an unrepentant grin as he came back to her.
Slowly, far too slowly by Pilar's estimation, Deuce stripped her of her clothes. Most ended up on the pile of work clothes, but a few got tossed elsewhere. He spent a moment rubbing her damp panties in his fingers before he gave her a pirate's smile.
"I guess I still have my bedside manner."
A flush rose up from her toes to her hairline. "You still have your clothes on," she pointed out.
"You can fix that."
Excitement pinged across her nerves. "You bet I can." Pilar tried to take her time getting him undressed, but it was so difficult. Every body part revealed made her want more. As she went about her pleasant task, she ran her hands over his thick muscles. She went up to tiptoes to give his shoulder a nip, and he pulled her up against him by the hips. "Pants," he breathed against her mouth, not quite kissing her.
"Pants…" Right. Although she took her time with it, she released him from his slacks. Immediately, the thick, hot flesh sprang free and pointed at her chin like a loaded pistol.
Even before Pilar pushed his pants down and off, she took a moment to stroke him, excited by the visible tension her touch caused in his hard belly.
Deuce tugged her up into his arms and pressed her body against the length of him, hands moving down her back until they cupped her round bottom. Licking his way to her ear, he whispered, his baritone voice sexy and slurred with a deep drawl. "That lickin' from yesterday still smartin' on your ass, sugar?"
Her head wanted to loll on her shoulders, and her voice was strained. "A little."
Deuce's hand smacked her rear. It wasn't too hard, just enough to make her gasp.
"Bruises?" he asked, rubbing the sting away. His hand was so warm, so hard.
"No, sir."
"I see I have not lost my gentlemanly ways," he said with a chuckle.
A giggle was stifled in the excitement of being whirled around and deposited
on the edge of the bed. Arms and legs akimbo, she sprawled, giving him a come-hither smile as she settled her legs apart, knees wide. She ran her hands down her torso and let her fingers glide over her slippery center, watching him as she did. His jaw tightened and eyes sparkled, and his cock bounced with interest.
"You have plans for that pussy, sugar?"
"I plan to put her to work."
He lowered himself to his knees between her legs. "Let's see if we can plumb tire her out."
Deuce took her wandering hands firmly in one of his fists and held them on her belly button as he licked and sucked from her knees to her enflamed folds, bypassing the part that was most eager.
There was devilish gleam in his eyes as he paused to breathe on her wetness, causing a sweet shiver to raise goose bumps over her skin.
"Ah, Dios," she moaned.
His first lick of her slit started on an edge of her folds, gliding up toward her clit with a firm stroke. The next lick was more centered, but did not touch the bundle of nerves that were screaming at Pilar for attention. All she could do was arch and groan as he plied her opening with his tongue and then slid it up to her clit as he put two fingers in her. He flicked the tip of his tongue on her clit and her hips shot off the bed. "Please, Deuce…"
His fingers pumped in and out of her in a steady rhythm and he licked at her clit again.
"You're torturing me!"
"Aha."
"Damn you!"
The slippery fingers inside her bent and a new pleasure made her breath catch. She was so close. Her whole body felt like a live wire.
Deuce nibbled on her clit, his teeth nipping, driving her wild with sharp pulses. Before she knew it, her crisis was upon her and she could do little but arch and cry out.
Pilar floated on a starburst for a minute, returning to cognizance at the sound of his tongue gently licking up her juices. It was warm and sexy to have him taste her that way.
When he raised his head, the lower half of his face was wet and glistening and he had a huge smile.
Her voice was husky, low when she said, "Thank you, mi corazon."
"De nada, amada." Deuce stood and lifted her further onto the bed. He reached into his discarded pants' pocket and took out a foil packet. In seconds, he was laid out on the bed, his latex-covered erection the tallest part of him. "Mount up."
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