“What are you saying?” William asked. Though still a little stiff, the pain had lessened each day, but a part of him hoped the doctor would tell him he needed more rest with supervision. He didn’t know why, but Emma had wormed her way into his thoughts. There was a definite attraction between them and William half hoped to see where it might lead, but collecting bounties was his life. Could he give it up and stay in one place? Would she even want what little he had to offer?
“I’m saying you’re free to go, but you should be careful. Chasing outlaws may not be the safest occupation for your condition.”
No, stopping hunting outlaws wasn’t likely in his future. There was too much adrenaline with it, and of course the money was nice. He didn’t know what he had been thinking. He couldn’t stay, but he did have one thing he wanted to do before he left. “Would it be possible to stay one more night with you? I can’t get Monroe out of jail until tomorrow. I’d be happy to sleep on the couch.”
“Nonsense,” Doc Moore said. “You are welcome to stay another night. I’ll bunk with the boys tonight.
“Thank you, sir. You have been too kind.” William wondered if Doc Moore would be so accommodating if he knew of William’s involvement in Joseph’s death.
“It is I who should be thanking you. You keep the riff-raff out of our towns, which keeps everyone safe.”
William averted his eyes as he thought again of Emma’s husband. He hadn’t kept everyone safe, but he had to find a way to tell Emma the truth.
“It smells like the girls have lunch ready, and I don’t know about you, but I’m famished,” Doc Moore said, patting his belly. “The girls in Opdyke West could use some lessons from my daughters.”
William smiled and followed him into the kitchen, but his mind was on Emma. Maybe he could get her to take a walk with him after lunch, and he could tell her everything then. He pulled out a chair and sat down, catching Emma’s eye as he did. She smiled at him - a friendly, engaging, beautiful smile - and the guilt inside him grew.
With Doc Moore at the table, everyone’s positions had shifted a little and Emma ended up next to him.
“Let’s hold hands as we pray tonight,” Doc Moore said.
William caught the flash of pink that graced Emma’s fair cheeks before she held her hand out to him. He took her hand, but he couldn’t enjoy the contact much as he was still thinking about how she might react to his information. Would she hate him? He certainly wouldn’t blame her if she did. Would she never want to see him again? Would it matter? He was leaving, wasn’t he?
“Amen,” the family said.
William blinked as he glanced around. He had been so distracted he had missed the prayer? Emma looked at him with a quizzical expression but said nothing. William tried to stay more focused through the rest of lunch. The children took turns filling their father in on the days he had missed, and he in turn shared details of his time in Opdyke West.
When everyone was finally through eating, William caught Emma’s hand as she passed by him. “Would you do me the honor of a walk? I’d like to finish that tour we started.”
Emma glanced to her father for permission, and after a nod of his head, she stated her agreement, “It would be my pleasure to join you.”
William tried to gather his thoughts as they stepped outside, but no matter how he formed the words in his head, he couldn’t make them sound right.
“Did you have a particular place in mind you’d like to go?” Emma asked.
“No, let’s just walk,” he stated. Maybe the movement would help his brain, and he didn’t think he could bear sitting while he said what needed to be said.
With a nod, she led the way toward the outer rim of town.
“I wanted to say thank you first of all for inviting me to church today. I think I heard some things I really needed to hear,” he began.
“Oh, I’m so glad,” she said. “Pastor Lewis has a knack for that, saying what people need to hear.”
“Yes, I guess he does,” William agreed. “I wanted to tell you why I was reluctant to attend at first.” Though he hadn’t originally planned on bringing up Catherine, he felt that perhaps if she knew of his own suffering she might understand his actions better.
She turned a curious eye his direction but said nothing and William inhaled deeply to gather the strength to continue. “I once was a committed believer like you. I was married to the woman I loved, working a job I enjoyed, and I believed in a God above who was looking out for me. Until the day I saw Catherine shot.”
Emma gasped and clutched her hand to her mouth. “Oh, William.”
“There was a fight occurring in the saloon and the men got carried away and drew their guns. The bartender pushed them outside but not before a few shots were fired. Catherine was leaving the mercantile and coming to meet me for lunch when the bullet hit her. I was a Deputy Sheriff at the time and the front window faced the street. I heard the gunshot, and I saw Catherine crumble. I rushed into the street, but there was nothing I could do. She died in my arms.”
“William, I’m so sorry,” Emma said, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.
William swallowed the lump of emotion welling up and cleared his throat a few times. “After Catherine, I grew angry with God. How could He love me and let my wife die? And especially like that? After Catherine’s death, I joined the Texas Rangers before becoming a bounty hunter because I thought staying busy would keep me from missing Catherine.”
Emma stopped, turned to him, and placed her hand on his arm. “I felt the same way when Joseph was taken, but God’s plan is bigger than we know. If He loved us enough to send his son to die for us, then I have to trust He loves me even when things happen that I don’t understand.”
William smiled. “That’s what your sister said this morning that convinced me to go.”
“Jennie?” Emma asked with a laugh and then shook her head. “She is too bright for her own good sometimes.”
“She is,” William said, taking Emma’s hand from his arm and holding it in his own, “but I’m glad she is. I needed to hear that message this morning to realize I hadn’t really been living, I had just been running.”
Emma’s gaze locked with his and her lips parted as she said, “What do you need to be living again?”
William took a deep breath as he gazed into the emerald green of her gaze. Could he tell her? He didn’t want the way she looked at him to change, and he feared once she knew the truth the affection he read now would disappear. Still, he couldn’t NOT tell her, so with a final swallow, he gathered his courage and opened his mouth, “I need….”
“You have some nerve, Cook,” a male voice broke the moment. William dropped Emma’s hands and turned to see the man from the previous day staring him down. His hands were clenched at his side and a vein bulged on his forehead.
“Carl, William is our guest,” Emma said, obviously shocked at his behavior.
Carl’s brows shot up his forehead. “It’s William, now is it? Do you even know who this man is, Emma?”
“I know he’s a bounty hunter who was injured and needed our help. He’s been nothing but nice to my family…”
“This is Wild Bill Cook,” Carl said, letting the words resonate with her. “I asked around about you,” he said, narrowing his eyes at William. “You thought you could hide what you’d done by changing your name, but I know who you are and what you did.”
“I wasn’t trying to hide anything,” William began.
Beside him Emma gasped, halting the conversation between the two men. “You… you were the Ranger in charge of the Holden mission.”
William’s face paled and his shoulders dropped, but he didn’t deny it. “I was.”
“You were the reason my husband was killed,” Emma said, her previous soft voice now dripping with anger. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know at first,” William said, shaking his head. “It wasn’t until you mentioned Holden yesterday that I made the connection. I spent all d
ay yesterday and today trying to think of the best way to tell you, but I couldn’t find the right words.”
“Or didn’t want to,” Carl said, a satisfied smirk on his face.
“Emma, I’m sorry. It’s why I suggested this walk. I was going to tell you everything, I…” William reached out a hand to her, but Emma shook her head and backed away from him.
“You should have told me as soon as you knew.” Her voice was low and accusatory. “I need time to think,” she said, taking another step back. “Don’t follow me.” Her eyes held William’s gaze before flicking to Carl. “Either of you.” With that, she turned and rushed away from town.
“Did you honestly think she would fall for you?” Carl asked, turning to William.
Anger swirled through William’s body. “You better get out of my sight before I pretend I got my mark wrong,” he said, dropping his hand to his gun.
Carl narrowed his eyes as he looked from William’s wound to the gun. “I’ve heard you are a strong shot, but do you think you could hit the mark with your wound?”
William narrowed his eyes and stared the man down. “I don’t know. Do you want to find out?”
Carl opened his mouth as if he were going to say something more, then thought better of it and walked away.
William watched him go, his hands shaking against his thighs. He would never shoot a man in the back, but if that man had ruined his chance to tell Emma his side of the story…. No, he would not retaliate. That would make him no better than Carl. He’d find another way to reach Emma.
* * *
Emma didn’t stop walking until she found herself in the purple sage fields. How could she have been so stupid? She had fallen not only for a man who would never stay but for the very man responsible for her husband’s death.
“Help me understand, God,” she said aloud as she skimmed the sage bushes with her hand. “Why did you send him here and why did you bring him into my life? I know I don’t know the whole story but help me understand at least that much.”
The wind blew softly around her, rustling the purple leaves, but no answer came. The fields normally filled her with peace, but no peace came this time. With a sigh, Emma turned around and headed back to the homestead. Hopefully, William would have returned, grabbed his things, and left by the time she arrived.
“Where’s William?” Carrie asked as Emma entered the house.
“You mean he hasn’t already been here?” Emma asked, a mixture of hope and anger fighting for control within her. Maybe she should have listened to his explanation. Maybe he had been about to tell her the truth.
Carrie shook her head, her freckled face filled with questions.
Emma shook away the hope, letting the anger take over. No, he could have and should have told her under the tree when he first realized. This behavior just proved he was not trustworthy. “Well, I’m sure Mr. Cook will be here soon to grab his things. I doubt he will be staying much longer with us.” With that, Emma turned on her heel and hurried into the shared bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
She curled up in the bed, thankful that Jennie wasn’t in the room and let the tears flow down her cheeks. Why had God brought this man into her life? Why had He allowed the wound of pain to be refreshed? Would she ever have another chance at love like she had with Joseph?
As the tears fell down her cheeks, and she mumbled her questions to God, exhaustion descended upon her and her eyes closed.
Chapter Eight
William had no idea how long he walked, but the sun was low in the sky when he returned to the homestead. He hoped Emma would have calmed down enough to hear him out, but he couldn’t blame her reaction.
Carrie and Doc Moore met him at the front door. “What did you do to my sister?” Carrie asked, hands on her hips and fire shooting from her eyes. William admired her fierce loyalty but felt for the man who would marry her in the future as her gaze was penetrating and convicting.
“I didn’t mean to,” William said softly. “I was trying to find a way to tell her that I was the Ranger in charge of the operation that got Joseph killed, but I wasn’t fast enough. Carl found out first and told her before I had a chance.”
Carrie gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. She narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth as if she were about to chastise him. Then her mouth closed and with a shake of her head, she spun on her heel and entered the house, letting the door slam behind her.
“I’ll talk with her later,” Doc Moore said staring at the closed door for a minute before turning his attention back to William. “So why don’t you tell me the situation?” Doc Moore pointed to the stools that sat on the porch.
William sighed as he sat down. “I never thought I’d meet Joseph’s widow or the other man’s - there was another man killed in the excursion. I never even envisioned this kind of life for myself. I wanted to serve my town and protect the citizens, but when I lost my wife, Catherine, I lost myself as well. I joined the Rangers, which helped for a time, but then I was approached about becoming a hunter. The money called to me, and it was that first job where I recruited Rangers and Joseph answered the call.
“The round up went well until one of the men tried to escape. My team went after him and I thought we had him subdued, but then he managed to pull Joseph’s weapon and shot him and two other men before my men knew what was happening.
“I should have been the one to deliver the news as I was the one in charge of the men, but I was no longer a Ranger. I began collecting bounties full time after that job. Maybe I was running, not only from Catherine’s death but also from the other men, but then I landed here, and I met Emma.”
“Yes, let’s talk about Emma,” Doc Moore said, folding his hands on his lap. He had been quiet during William’s story, but William sensed he had issues on his mind. “What are your intentions toward my daughter?”
The question caught William off guard. He thought after his story that Doc Moore would be shooing him off the property, not asking what his intentions were with Emma. “To be honest, sir, I’m not sure. I hadn’t planned on falling for anyone here, and I’m not sure I could give up hunting outlaws, but your daughter has made quite an impression on me. I find myself thinking of her often, and the guilt from not telling her the whole story ate me up for two days.”
Doc Moore’s brow arched, but he said nothing, letting William flounder through his feelings.
“I don’t know that it matters now though. She ran off without letting me explain. It’s probably for the best that I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Perhaps it is,” Doc Moore said leaning back, but William felt there was more to his words than he was letting on.
“If I need to, I can sleep in the barn with the horse tonight,” William continued. “I don’t want to upset Emma any more than I already have.”
“Oh, I think Emma will be alright,” Doc Moore said, “but I wouldn’t be surprised if she stays in her room until she know’s you’re gone.”
William nodded and followed Doc Moore’s lead into the house. Carrie glared at him initially from the kitchen while she prepared dinner, but after a discussion with Doc Moore, her demeanor softened, and she appeared slightly less hostile toward him. William had no idea what the doctor had told her, but he welcomed the reprieve from her scolding eyes.
While he helped entertain the younger two with card tricks, his mind wandered to what he would say to Emma when she entered the room, but when supper was ready, and Emma still hadn’t appeared, he began to accept the fact he might not see her again before leaving.
“Aren’t we waiting for Emma?” Benjamin asked as they took their places around the table.
“Emma isn’t feeling well tonight,” Doc Moore said. “So, we are going to let her sleep and not bother her.”
“Does that mean I can’t sleep in the room tonight?” Jennie asked.
“We’ll sleep in the living room tonight,” Carrie said, patting her sister’s arm. “You can take the couch and I’ll take the cha
ir.”
“Okay,” Jennie said with a shrug as she scooped up some beans and shoveled them into her mouth.
With the topic of Emma dropped, the rest of dinner was quiet. Before William knew it, the food was gone, and Carrie was picking up the plates to wash them.
“Do you really have to leave tomorrow?” Benjamin asked as they sat around the table after dinner.
“I do,” William said, realizing it wasn’t just Emma he would miss, but the rest of her family as well. “I have to return a bad man to the authorities.”
“Will you come back after that?” Benjamin hounded.
“I don’t know,” William answered truthfully. “My life isn’t here. My life is out hunting men who break the law.”
“But what about Emma?” Jennie asked, her innocent eyes large and round.
“Emma will be fine without me,” William said, though he was beginning to wonder if he’d be fine without Emma. “In fact, she’ll probably be better off without me.”
“I doubt that,” Carrie spoke up softly as she picked up the last plate from the table.
William could have asked her what she meant by that, but it didn’t matter. He’d be leaving in the morning and Emma would be only a memory, which was where she belonged.
Chapter Nine
William woke before the sun. Not that he had slept much anyway. He had stayed up hoping Emma would enter the living room, so he could talk to her. When that didn’t happen, and it became clear the girls wanted to go to sleep, he had retired to the room, but with one ear attuned to the noises in the living room, what little sleep he had received had been restless.
With a sigh, William pushed back the blanket and sat up. The pain still throbbed with excessive movement, but it had softened to a dull, manageable ache. He gave it a moment to recede before standing and crossing to his saddlebag.
Lawfully Justifiedl (Bounty Hunter Lawkeeper Romance) Page 6