‘Yes, I…I mentioned my wife.’
‘Well, no matter how such patients appear on the surface, half mad or whole mad, there is a layer beyond that links up with all former connections. And in his case, and in his normal moments, he is very much aware of what has happened, particularly to his face. So, if you will kindly phone me when you wish to visit, I will tell you whether or not it would be wise to come along. You understand?’
‘Yes. Yes, I understand. Can I ask you one more thing?’
‘Of course, of course, anything.’
‘At least, two things. How long will the building up of his face take? You might be able to put a time to this, but can you put a time to his mental state?’
‘I can’t really put a time to either, I think they are both linked, but I would say two to three years.’
‘What!’
‘That’s what I said, two to three years, perhaps longer.’
‘Oh, no. He’ll be in that state all that time?’
‘Oh, no, no. He won’t be in that state, he’ll be improving all the time. And it may seem long to you, but it isn’t any length of time for such cases. We have two men in here…well, who look upon this as their home. They were in industrial accidents. They have been here eight years; they won’t go out and face the world. In a way they’ve made it their home and are content. We have a new extension, you know, a games room, large sitting room, reading room, and there are the exercise and therapy quarters. I must show you round sometime; it may alleviate the worry of a proposed long stay on your brother’s part.’
Charles stood up, only to find his legs were shaking. As the doctor led the way to the door he thanked him, saying, ‘I’ll try not to be a nuisance, but you won’t mind if I telephone now and again?’
‘Not in the least. And as we are talking of telephoning, you can do something for me.’
‘Anything that’s possible.’
‘Oh, this is possible, but difficult, as everything is when dealing with young women. You have a sister?’
‘Yes, a Mrs Dawson-Porter.’
‘Yes, that’s her. Well, will you try to explain the situation to her; she has even got in touch with the War Office because of my refusal to allow her to visit her brother.’
‘I will see that she doesn’t trouble you again. At least I shall try.’
The doctor smiled at him and his was a pale effort in return.
When, a few minutes later, he joined Agnes in the waiting room he gave her no explanation until they were once again seated in the cab, when he said, ‘It can keep, dear, until we get home.’
It was at half past seven that evening when a messenger came with a letter from Alice. It began:
‘You won’t believe it, dear, but Robbie is safe, washed up onto one of those far islands in Scotland in a lifeboat with another fellow, but he was dead. Apparently Robbie was in a bad way and didn’t know who he was and he was brought over in a steamer and put into hospital and there he got his mind back. We can’t believe it. Jessie’s beside herself with happiness this time, and so is his mother, and me too, I must admit. Try to come tomorrow, dear. We’ll have a celebration.’
Robbie found without a scratch. Yet, from what Charles had told her, Reg would have to face years of pain before he could face his fellow men…and women. Oh yes, and women; even if then.
PART SIX
1919
One
Had there been a war on? Oh yes, there had. Women knew this because there were ten of them to one man and some of them were shamelessly enticing men away from their wives. And there were things going on that would never have happened before the war. Women were brazen, which Alice confirmed when talking to Agnes. Two of them had had the nerve to ask for one pound ten a week standing behind the counter downstairs. Well, as she had told that last one, she could get a man to work for that, and she’d had the offer of one. She nodded at Agnes. Yes, she wouldn’t believe it, educated he was, an’ all. But he had hardly a shoe to his foot. I had to tell him it was a woman we wanted.
‘You should have set him on.’
‘Well, I still could, lass, because he was sleeping in the warehouse over there last night, so Miss Belle said. I think those three next door spend all their profits in handouts now. They feel it’s their duty.’
‘Well, if he’s still there you could set a place at the table for him.’ She laughed.
‘Aye, I could do that. Aye, I could. And what’s more, if he turns out all right, I’ll let him have one of the spare rooms.’ She nudged Agnes now, saying, ‘He’s only about twenty-five. There might be a chance for me. What d’you say?’
‘I’ll say you’re getting worse, Mother. But you do that, for I hate to think of you here at night on your own.’
‘Oh, Robbie’s just across the yard.’
‘Well, I don’t think he’d hear you if you screamed for help. So take your protégé in.’
‘Me what?’
‘You heard.’
‘Aye, I did. It would be nice to have a man in the house again.’
‘You’d better watch out and see that he’s honest.’
‘I think he could be. There was something nice about him, the way he spoke and his willingness to do anything for a job. It’s funny, but at the time I was telling him I couldn’t take him on, I was wanting to ask him upstairs and give him a feed. Anyway, you look bonny, lass. And Charles is picking you up to go to the hospital, you say?’
‘Yes, he should be here at any minute now.’
‘And do you mean to say you’ve been going backwards and forwards all those years and you’ve never seen that fella?’
‘No, Mother, I’ve never seen him. But I mean to. One of these days I’m just going to walk in, no matter what Charles says about being forbidden to bring me.’
‘Fancy him wanting to stay there, I mean, making up his mind not to come out.’
‘Well, from what I understand, he keeps fully occupied. And there’s another four officers in his ward; two are in wheelchairs and one on a long bed.’
‘On a bed?’
‘Yes, he’s permanently on a bed, lying on his face.’
‘Poor devil.’
‘That’s what Charles says. He also said he had thought there was no-one in a worse plight than Reg until he saw these other men. Reg can get about on a crutch or, sometimes, when his ankle isn’t aching, with the aid of a stick.’
‘Well, if he can walk, why doesn’t he come out?’
‘I told you, Mother, as much as I know; it’s how he looks. Most of his face was burnt. I just’—she closed her eyes—‘I just can’t imagine what he’s gone through, operation after operation. Charles says they’ve done a wonderful job on him, yet he’s no longer Reg. As far as I can gather he organises things for other patients and seems to spend a lot of time among the men. Charles says he’s quite popular.’
‘You don’t usually go on a Wednesday, do you?’
‘No, we don’t, but Charles got a letter from him asking him to come today; he even specified the time: three o’clock in the afternoon. I don’t know whether they’re having a party or what. They do have parties now and again, so I understand, but on the quiet, and they get drunk as lords.’
‘I don’t blame them; they’ll want something to blot themselves out. Oh’—she turned and went quickly to the window—‘there’s the car at the door. He’s here. And you were telling me you are going to learn to drive that?’
‘Yes. Why not? I’m a grown-up lass.’
‘I wonder what next. Why don’t you try flying one of them aeroplanes?’
‘Well, that’s an idea.’ She turned now to the sitting-room door, which Charles had opened after tapping on it and she said, ‘Mother here thinks we should have an aeroplane.’
He looked from one to the other and said, ‘Well that’s not a bad idea. I’ll see about it tomorrow; and if we do get one I’ll pass the car on to you, Mrs Conway.’
‘Stop your fun and games. How’re you feeling?’
‘Fine.’
‘Well, I must say you look better than you did a few weeks ago. If you’d only do what you’re told you’d be better all the time.’
‘If I only did what I was told, Mrs Conway, I would stay in bed here three and a half days a week with you fussing round me, and the rest along at the house with her fussing round me. Well, I can’t stand fuss and as you know, you both get on my nerves, so I’m going to stay on my feet as long as I can. How’s business?’
‘Not so good as it was during the war. Those in work must be banking their money because they’re not spending it.’
‘Then we’ll have to see about that, won’t we? Anyway, as we’re passing through the shop, I’ll take half a pound of that Houghhound Candy with me. It’s very soothing, you know.’
‘Well, it was me who told you that in the first place, wasn’t it?’
‘Was it?’ He grinned at her. ‘You tell me so much, woman, I don’t know where I am. Anyway, if you’ll allow your daughter to leave your presence I shall escort her to the car and take her hence.’
‘Can’t you stay for a cup of tea?’
‘No, we’ll get there just on time as it is. I don’t know what all this is about, but as soon as I know, she’ll know.’ He thumbed towards Agnes. ‘And as soon as she knows, you’ll know.’
‘Go on, get yourself away. You get too cheeky at times. And drive that thing carefully. Why you had to go and get it, I don’t know.’
‘Well, Mrs Conway, seriously, there are few decent horses left. And if we had got a couple it would have meant engaging another man and a boy: either that or hiring a cab every time. And you know, some of those cabs smell to high heaven. So a car seemed the best solution. Don’t worry’—he nodded at her—‘I drive carefully. Always have and always will. Be seeing you.’
When she patted his arm he did not bend to kiss her but put his hand out and touched her cheek. Kissing he was finding a problem. He rarely got near Agnes but he wanted to kiss her, but refrained because this blasted disease was infectious. It’s a wonder she had escaped so far, because she did nor stint her kisses or her loving.
As they were getting into the car the three Miss Cardings came to the shop door and waved to them, and as Charles slowly drew the car along by the kerb Agnes leant out, calling, ‘Would you like to come for a trip some Sunday?’
‘Oh, we’d love that,’ Miss Belle called back at the top of her voice while the other two nodded their smiling approval. Then Miss Rene shouted, ‘Call in next time, dear,’ and Agnes called back, ‘Yes, I will. I will.’
As she sat back in her seat she said, ‘I feel guilty; I haven’t called on them for months.’
‘Well, why haven’t you?’
‘Oh, you know, I’m afraid they’ll bring out something for me to buy and you know what you said about that.’
‘Well, it wouldn’t be right, would it? Anyway’—he glanced at her—‘whatever they’ve got will help to make some other young girl beautiful.’
‘Thank you. Thank you very much indeed!’
‘You’re quite welcome. But you must admit they enhanced you; it was as if they had been made for you specially.’
‘Your compliment doesn’t excuse your tactlessness, sir. Anyway’—her voice changed—‘have you no idea at all why Reg has asked us to call at the hospital today?’
‘No, dear; not the slightest idea.’
After a moment or so of silence she said, ‘If you say his face is so much better than it was, then why won’t he see me?’
‘Because…well, I’ve tried to explain to you, dear, time and again. He’s changed. He’s not Reg; at least he doesn’t look like Reg, except for his eyes. If it was possible for him to wear a yashmak he would likely get by. But you must remember, darling, he was a handsome man, a most handsome man. He was plagued by women because of his looks, and to some it could only have been his looks, because I’ve heard him being really obnoxious, insulting, to some girls. All in a sort of polite way though, but it didn’t escape them. No; it was his looks as much as anything that was the attraction. He was never conceited but he was no fool; he knew how he looked. Then there was his whole body. He didn’t just walk, he strolled, or, when on duty, he marched, his back like a ramrod. He took after Father in that way…I’m glad they’ve both gone, they couldn’t have borne it. At times I thought I couldn’t bear it, but then I had to ask myself how he must feel. You know, I’m amazed he came out of it…I mean, his mental state, when he kept reliving the war, the mud, the blood, having his friends blown to smithereens by his side and losing three batmen within four weeks. At times, whilst I’ve sat with him, he would scream out and cry like a child; and I would cry too. I’ve told you about the orderly who sees to him, he’s a splendid chap, Flynn, and they’re on excellent terms. Only once has Reg spoken of his condition, his mental condition, that is, and it was to give thanks to Flynn. He said that Flynn had pulled him out of the depths: he had spent his spare time with him, talking, persuading; in fact, he said, he had dragged him back to some form of sanity and so he feels very indebted to him. He’s going to see to him. I think he means set him up in some way, should he think of leaving. But I doubt he’ll leave as long as Reg is there. Yet he’s still young, well, I should say about the same age as Reg himself.’
‘You’re going too fast, dear.’
‘Am I? Oh, I’m sorry.’
‘You should look at the speedometer more often. You’re touching thirty-two.’
‘You know what, I can see the day when people will go at fifty and consider it slow.’
‘Never!’
He glanced at her and they both smiled…
At the hospital, he left her in the waiting room about to talk to one of the nurses she had come to know well over the years. ‘I’ll try not to be long,’ he said; then noticed that she sighed.
As he made his way along the corridor he was met by the man they had been talking about in the car.
‘Good afternoon, sir,’ said Flynn. ‘The Colonel isn’t in the sitting room today. Would you come this way, sir? He is in Doctor Willett’s office.’
‘Something wrong?’
‘No, no, sir; not that I understand; but there are others with him, and the Colonel asked me to meet you and take you there. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. Yes, it is.’
It was odd, Charles thought, that both doctors and staff always fell back on the weather when there was something of import to be said or taking place. He had noticed it over the years, and definitely he could see immediately that something of import was taking place when Flynn opened the door and he was ushered into the doctor’s office. For there was Doctor Willett himself and, of all people, Henry, and two other men besides Reg.
It was Henry who spoke first. Rising to his feet, he said, ‘Hello, there.’ And Charles’ answer to this was, ‘What are you doing here?’
At this Henry turned to the company and, holding out his hand as if in appeal, he said, ‘Did you hear that? My brother has always remained ignorant of the importance of my profession: he should, though, know by now that priests are welcomed in most places without question.’
As smiles and a little laughter were created by this statement, Charles thought, he always refers to himself as a priest. What he said now was, ‘Is this a party?’
‘Could be.’
He was looking at Reg now and Reg, turning, said, ‘Sit down before you drop down, and don’t look so worried. And let’s get down to business.’ Then turning to the solicitor he said, ‘I’ll leave it to you, Mr Ridley, to explain the situation.’
The solicitor smiled at Charles, saying, ‘This business can’t be put into a nutshell, but the outlying facts are these. As the Colonel here doesn’t intend to return home but has arranged with Doctor Willett to take up a sort of post in the hospital, which hasn’t yet been given a name—’ He turned and smiled at the doctor, then went on, ‘your brother has decided to pass on the deeds of the estate to you and your
wife.’
‘No. No.’ Charles made an effort to rise but was checked by Henry, saying, ‘Shut up and listen.’
‘I won’t listen. If it should go to anybody it should be you. You’re the next oldest.’
‘I don’t want it; but mind—’ He wagged his finger towards Charles, adding, ‘I won’t be above taking a donation now and again, because I’ve got a lot of needy in my parish, besides my church roof. On certain days the choir have to have umbrellas. And what’s more…’
‘Whatever is more, Henry, it can wait. Let Mr Ridley get on with it.’
Mr Ridley now smiled at Reg, then drew in a long breath, looked at Charles again and said, ‘As you know, Mr Reginald has a private income left to him by his grandfather. He also has his army pension and this, he says—’ He now glanced at Reg before repeating, ‘And this, he says, will be more than sufficient for his needs. As you know, your father left the estate and the main part of his capital to Mr Reginald, he being his eldest son. And your mother’s private estate was also willed in the same way. It is Mr Reginald’s wish that your mother’s estate will be divided between you, your brother, and your sister, Mrs Elaine Dawson-Porter.’
‘I didn’t know you meant to do that, Reg. Now, there’s no need. You know me: I don’t mind, and I was only kidding Charles about the donation. And another thing’—Henry now turned his head to the side and looked down—‘what…what I didn’t tell you, and no-one knows yet except the Bishop, I…I may be going into…well, a sort of closed order.’
‘Turning Catholic?’ Reg’s voice was sharp.
‘No. No, not exactly; but, Reg old fellow, I’m just meaning to say…Well, anyway’—he shook his head—‘thank you very much indeed. But you know I’m all right: Grandpa left me a bit too. I’ll never starve, even if they throw me out.’ And he added now with a touch of cynicism, ‘I don’t think they’ll do that as long as my money lasts.’
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