“What are you talking about? You look amazing. Jet’s eyes are going to bug out.”
I snapped my gaze to her, and a shush escaped my lips. That was the exact last thing I needed to happen. I’d only been apart from him for fifteen minutes, and I already missed him. How I had gone seventeen years without him in my life boggled my mind.
He’d changed me, and I wasn’t sure I was ever going to change back.
“I don’t care about that,” I said as I reached up to unzip the dress. If that’s what Kate truly thought about Jet’s reaction, then there was no way I could wear this. I didn’t want to go to the bar in the first place, and wearing a dress that would intrigue Jet was definitely not what I was going for.
“I’m joking,” Kate said as she reached up and grasped my hands, making it impossible for me to take the dress off. “You look great in that. Don’t change.”
I wiggled my fingers and she let me go. I stared at my reflection before I sighed and dropped my hands. “Fine. After all, this is my final hurrah. I might as well make it count.”
Kate stepped between me and the mirror. “What are you talking about, final hurrah?”
Right. She didn’t know about Italy or Stefano. Or my most likely impending nuptials. “Never mind,” I said as I let out my breath in a slow hiss. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about any of this. I loved Kate, but I didn’t need her freaking out and confusing me more than I already was.
When I glanced back at her and saw her folded arms and impatient gaze, I knew that an explanation was inevitable. So I took a deep breath and told her everything.
I told her about the Espositos. The merger. Stefano. Italy. I told her about Jet and the kiss we shared in the alleyway. I told her that what had started out as innocent fun had slowly turned into something more. And I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to get over it.
Kate didn’t say much. Instead she stared at me, nodding her head as I talked through my issues. By the time I was finished, she was staring at me. Her lips were parted as if she was trying to figure out what to say but didn’t know how to start.
I studied her, not sure if I wanted to hear her response. I was pretty sure there wasn’t anything she could say that would make me feel better.
“Wow,” she finally whispered.
I pinched my lips together and nodded.
She shook her head and then began pacing. “It’s not fair. That’s not cool. Your parents...they can’t do this to you.”
I shrugged. “Even if that was true, is that a risk I can take? I mean, the merger between the Espositos and the Livingstones would change Jet’s family’s life. I can’t be responsible for taking that away. I would feel terrible.” I sunk down onto the bed as I cradled my forehead in my hands.
I felt the bed shift as Kate sat down next to me.
“Listen to me. You have to tell Jet. He has to know why you’re pulling away.”
I glanced over at her, frustration filling me. “I can’t. I mean, what if he tells me to stay. I don’t think I have the strength to walk away. And I can’t hurt his family.” I closed my eyes as I pictured Brit’s huge smile contrasted against Jet’s bruised face.
If I could get them out of the poverty they were in, I was going to do it. Brit’s better job depended on me upholding my end of the bargain.
“He deserves to know.” She sucked in her breath. “I have a feeling it wasn’t me he wanted there tonight.” Kate reached over and grabbed my hand. “I think it was you.”
Tears stung my eyes as I stared at her. Was it true? Did I dare hope? My heart swelled at the thought, and I wanted to push it down. So far down that I couldn’t feel anything.
But it wasn’t letting me. I cared too much for Jet. I wanted to know if what Kate had said was true. Did he care about me?
It was so selfish of me to insert myself into his life just to find out if he cared for me the same way I did for him. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t ask him before I left.
“Kate...” I trailed off as emotions kept me from speaking.
She nodded as she patted my hand. “It’s just a party. It’ll be okay.”
“Should I go?” I needed permission from an outsider. If she didn’t think it made me a horrible person to go, then I could do it. I could force myself to stand and get into her car. I could force myself to see Jet again.
“Of course,” she said as she stood and pulled me up. “You’re going. You’ve got to stop living for your parents. If they are forcing you to do this, then you are going to party until you have to board that plane on Monday.” She linked arms with me as we stared at our reflection in the mirror. “This weekend, you’re going to make Brielle happy.”
I turned to stare at her. Happy. Brielle and happy were two words that I hadn’t associated with each other in a long time. I’d been satisfied with my life. Taken care of. But happy?
I shook my head. It wasn’t until I met Jet that I’d finally allowed someone in. Allowed myself to be happy.
And I wanted to be happy for as long as possible.
I grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them. “Let’s go,” I said as adrenaline pumped through my veins.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” she squealed as she jumped up and down a few times. Then we opened the door and headed out of her room.
Once we were in the car and driving toward the bar, the confidence I had felt in her room had faded. As I stared out at the passing lights shining against the dark sky, I began to doubt the wisdom of what I was doing.
Was it fair to drag Jet into my mess? As much as I wanted to make myself happy, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was worth sacrificing Jet’s happiness. When I left for Italy, where would that leave Jet? If he did care about me, I doubted he would want me to leave on a plane with a guy my parents wanted me to date.
I wrapped my arms around my chest as regret washed over me. I wasn’t being fair to Jet at all.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered as I glanced over at Kate.
She made a left and pulled into a packed parking lot. A building with bright neon lights on top of it that read “Shut up and Drink” was glowing in the darkness. People milled around outside. Some leaned against the building, smoking. Others were gathered in circles, laughing and just having a good time.
I shook my head. I shouldn’t be here.
Kate’s hand startled me into looking over at her. Her brows were furrowed as she studied me.
“It’ll be okay, Brielle. Come on,” she said as she pulled the keys from the ignition and got out.
I took a deep breath, hoping to dispel all the anxiety that had risen up in my chest, but it didn’t help. I’d wanted to run away, and yet, I was walking into the exact situation I’d been trying to avoid.
The sound of our footsteps on the gravel reverberated in my ears as I followed Kate into the bar. A few guys made catcalls at us, but I was so focused on what I was going to say or do once I saw Jet that I didn’t pay them any mind.
Once inside, Kate and I kept to the edges of the bar as we scouted the place. There was a group of kids who looked our age sitting at a table right next to a stage with a mic in the middle. It was as if they were waiting for something to happen.
Jet was half-sitting, half-standing at the table. His foot was propped up onto the chair in front of him. He had on his signature leather jacket, and I could practically smell it from where I stood. I guess all that time I spent with my arms wrapped around him on the back of his bike had cemented his scent into my mind.
“We should just go,” I hissed, turning and grabbing Kate’s arm.
She stumbled a bit when I took off toward the door, but she righted herself and halted my retreat. “Regret, Brielle. You can’t have any if you’re headed overseas.”
I closed my eyes for a moment while I tried to gather all the courage I could. She was right. If I was ever going to have a chance of getting over Jet, I needed to end it. Right here. Right now.
&nb
sp; So I sucked in my breath and nodded. “Fine. Let’s do this.” I turned on my heel and headed toward Jet.
When I was a few feet from him, a girl with dark dreadlocks and a nose ring shot past me and wrapped her arms around Jet. Seeing her press her body against his made me stop. It was like I’d forgotten how to move. My feet felt rooted to the spot.
Jet’s arm wrapped around her shoulder as he dipped down to listen to what she had to say. The other members of their group seemed to know who she was because they were all high-fiving her. She laughed as she threw her head back. Her perfectly long neck and smooth skin made me want to crawl into a dark corner and weep.
“Hey, it’s Reality TV,” Crew’s voice pushed through the fog that coated my brain.
A second later, I registered his heavy arm on my shoulders and I turned to see him grinning down at me. I forced a smile and nodded.
When I turned back to Jet, I noticed that he’d stood up and taken a few steps toward to us. His eyebrows were furrowed as he studied me.
I forced a smile as I glanced around. It seemed as if everyone was interested in this strange girl that Crew and Jet seemed to know.
“Hi,” Kate said, waving to everyone. “I’m Kate, and this is Brielle.”
Crew’s hand cupped my shoulder and he pulled me closer until I was sandwiched against him. “Out to see how the other side of town slums?”
I glanced up at him and nodded, not really sure how I was supposed to react.
“Let her go, Crew.” Jet’s voice sounded close. And when I peeked over, I realized that he was close. Like inches away.
Crew chuckled, and I could feel it reverberate in his chest. He squeezed me tight one more time before letting me go.
“Just trying to help the newbie feel welcome,” he said as he dropped his arm and sauntered over to the table. He collapsed on a chair and took a long drink.
“You okay?” Jet asked. His voice was low, and I could hear the concern in it.
I nodded as I rubbed the part of my arm that Crew had touched. Even though I was happy to see Jet, I didn’t belong here. At all.
“Come on, I’ll get you a drink.” Jet’s fingertips brushed my arm, and I snapped my gaze over to him. What was he doing? Was he trying to touch me?
He must have noticed my reaction because he curled his fingers into his hand and dropped it next to his side. “Sorry,” he said as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“It’s okay,” I said. It was a lot more than okay. My whole body responded to his touch, and I wanted more. It was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to give myself over to him. To show the feelings that existed inside of me.
“Come on,” he said, nodding toward the bar.
I glanced around for Kate only to find her in the corner, laughing at someone she knew. He was a tall kid with dark, curly hair. She looked preoccupied, so I nodded and followed after Jet.
Just as we passed by the group, I noticed the girl with dreadlocks staring at us. Her lips were pulled tight and her arms were crossed in front of her chest. She leaned over to another girl with black, curly hair and whispered something. Suddenly, curly-haired girl was staring at me as well.
I felt as if I was going to melt under their stare, so I picked up the pace and fell into step with Jet. He glanced down, and the soft smile he gave me warmed my cheeks.
“I’m happy you came,” he said as he leaned against the bar and ordered two Sprites.
I slipped onto the barstool next to him and nodded. “Yeah. Kate seemed to think it was wise.”
Jet grabbed a few pretzels from the bowl in front of us and slipped one into his mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully as he stared at me. “Why did she think it was wise?” he asked right before the bartender handed us our drinks.
Jet thanked him and paid. I moved to slip off the stool, but Jet pressed his hand on my knee. I froze as I felt the warmth of his fingertips against my bare skin. My heart took off, galloping in my chest.
“Wait,” he said. His voice was deep and sent shivers across my skin. His hand lingered on my knee for a moment longer before he pulled it away.
My body felt cold in his absence.
“I just need a minute,” he said as he leaned both elbows on the bar in front of him.
Worried about how I would sound if I spoke, I just nodded and entwined my fingers on my lap.
There was this palpable tension between us, and I wasn’t sure how to interpret it. I decided that it would be best to just wait for Jet to tell me what this all meant.
He ate a few more pretzels before he leaned on one arm and turned his chest toward me. It was like he wanted to look at me. And from the expression on his face, he was taking me in.
My breath hitched in my throat as I peeked over at him.
He parted his lips a few times before pressing them shut. Was he struggling just as much as I was?
I shook my head slightly. With the number of girls staring at Jet tonight, I doubted that he had any trouble finding someone to care about him.
Who was I to this bad boy?
Jet was incredible. I couldn’t be the only girl who saw that.
When I glanced back at Jet, I saw him staring at me in an open way that sent shivers across my skin. I felt exposed, and for the first time, I didn’t hide from it. Maybe it was because I wanted to tell him exactly how I felt, even if I couldn’t bring myself to utter the words.
I’d fallen hard for Jet. And even though we would be finished come Monday morning, I wanted him to know what he meant to me. What he would always mean to me.
He leaned in closer. I could smell his cologne and feel the warmth emanating off of his chest. My senses were completely wrapped up in him. The whole world felt as if it were blurring around me. I was in one of those romantic movies where the only thing in focus is the couple.
Jet was all I wanted.
“You’re a mystery,” he said as his warm gaze met mine. I was so used to his dark and stormy intensity that, when he opened up, it took my breath away.
“I am?” I whispered. And then I cleared my throat. The band was starting up, so we were having to speak louder. “I am?” I yelled.
He nodded and then took a sip of his drink. “I can’t figure you out.” He met my gaze again. “And I want to.”
Goosebumps rose up on my skin from the intensity of his words. Did they mean what I so desperately wanted them to?
“You do?” I asked.
The smile that played on his lips sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I felt so complete when I was around him. Like this was where I was meant to be.
Right here. Next to Jet.
He lifted his hand and brushed my hair from my shoulder. His fingers played against my neck, sending pulses of pleasure shooting through my entire body. He leaned in so close that I could feel his breath on my skin.
I closed my eyes as I took in what it felt like to be this close to Jet. To let my guard down and allow him in.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered. There was this deep, soulful sound to his voice that caused my breath to hitch in my throat.
My brain was officially a pile of mush.
“I am?” I asked.
Meet Brielle. The great conversationalist. But what could I do? Just being around Jet sent my entire body into shock. I couldn’t process anything.
Jet pulled away and met my gaze again. He cupped his hand just below my ear. His thumb ran along my cheek in a soft manner. As if he were trying to memorize the curves of my face.
He nodded as he held my gaze. In that one look, I could see everything that he was trying to say. I could feel his feelings for me. He didn’t need to say them. I knew he felt how I felt.
And it broke my heart.
Chapter Fourteen
It feels so strange to go from pure euphoria to the pain of realizing that you can’t have the one thing you want. It was like that feeling of descending in an airplane. You know you need to do it, but you hate the feeling of your stomach getting l
eft in the sky.
That’s how I felt as I studied the intensity with which Jet stared at me.
He liked me. And maybe a bit more than that.
But there was something nagging me in the back of my mind, telling me he couldn’t.
We couldn’t be together. He just didn’t know that.
For some reason, I feared what he would say if he found out. If he realized that liking me was a fool’s errand. I worried that he would choose to help his family rather than tell me to stay with him.
I’m not sure I could ever get over that. It was one thing for me to give myself away for Jet’s benefit. It was another thing to have him ask me to go.
I was pretty sure I wouldn’t survive that conversation.
So I did the only thing I could think of—I pulled away. I broke the contact between us. I stood, almost stumbling off the bar stool as I put some distance between us.
Jet was left standing there with his hand raised like he wasn’t sure what had just happened.
I gave him a weak smile, tucked my hair behind my ear, and told him I had to go to the bathroom. I needed to get away from him and the pain that was crushing my chest right now. Jet and I couldn’t be anything, and I needed to accept that.
I’m not sure how I made it to the bathroom without breaking down, but I did. Maybe it was because I was in a bar, but people didn’t seem too alarmed to see a half-crazed girl staggering to the bathroom.
I leaned against the sink as I put my head down and took some deep breaths. I fought the tears. I didn’t want the last time Jet and I spent together to go this way. I wanted him to remember me in a good light. Not as a crazy, emotional wreck.
After a few calming breaths and some escaped tears, I gathered my emotions enough to look up and study my reflection. My face was splotchy and my eyes were puffy. I cupped my hands under the water and allowed them to fill up. Then I let the water splash back into the sink.
I took my wet fingers and dabbed under my eyes. I had a few minutes to compose myself before I needed to get back out there. I wanted to make sure I looked somewhat presentable.
Rule #5: You Can't Trust the Bad Boy (The Rules of Love) Page 12