by JD Chambers
Shelby wrinkles her nose at the idea. “Not naturally, you couldn’t.”
I repeat, Grade-A bitch.
Parker clears his throat and stands. “Aunt Bonnie, I heard you made me an apple pie, and if we don’t get to it, I may have to go in search of it myself.”
“Of course, dear, we need to keep the new parents happy! Zachariah, come help.”
Shelby fluffs her hair and straightens her skirt before sitting back down like she’s the queen of the table. With the triumphant look she shoots me, she probably damn well is.
6
Craig
I’m on day three of this funk, and am seriously starting to despair of it ever ending. I suppose this is why Mom drinks – adulting is hard. But the drinking on Friday night only made things worse, as I was reminded first thing this morning when I arrived to open the store with Ben.
I apologized profusely, but Ben insisted, rightfully so, that it was Zach who needed to hear the apology, not him. I think my persistence warmed him up enough to hatch a plot to get Zach into the store, but not without a stern warning that I had better not fuck it up.
Just before lunch, Zach enters Game Over, and the tightness in my chest eases a little. His t-shirt is some nerdy thing about atoms. Last time he was in here, it was a play on the word pie and the Greek mathematical symbol, and with that realization a little more of my funk melts away. I might have a nerd thing. Actually, that’s not true, because I don’t have a nerd thing or I’d have recognized it before, working in a gaming store and all. Apparently I have a shy nerd thing.
I can see the tension behind his eyes, betraying his nerves at facing me again, and I find myself rooting for him as he takes deep breaths and purposeful steps toward me. He doesn’t know he has nothing to worry about, and truth be told, a part of me is totally interested in riling him up just so I can watch his carefully constructed control fall apart. I bet he’s amazing when he isn’t so self-conscious. But I promised Ben I’d be good, and I have to actually get Zach to trust me before I can have the privilege of unraveling him.
I shake myself out of that train of thought. He’s got a thing for Ben, and I’ll never be the one doing the unraveling, but maybe I can still get him to trust me. As he approaches the counter, a half-smile plastered on his face, I stick out my hand and give him my best grin.
“Hey again. We haven’t officially met. I’m Craig. I’m sorry for being such a dick the other night. I truly didn’t mean to upset you.”
Zach gives my hand a tiny shake and manages to stay a light shade of pink through the whole ordeal. “I accept your apology.”
It comes out sounding like a phrase he memorized in a foreign language. All the sounds and syllables in the right place, but without the inflection or meaning behind it. I wait. And wait. Is that all he’s going to say? I can’t handle the awkward silence, so I give in to the urge to fill it.
“Did you enjoy the rest of your night Friday? I hope I didn’t ruin it. I’ve had a lot going on and had too much to drink. I didn’t even remember being a jackass until my friend chewed me out the next day.”
“Oh. No, it’s … okay.” His poise is wilting, like he wasn’t prepared to do anything other than accept my apology. Certainly not hold a conversation. “I know I’m-”
“Zach!” Ben says as he comes from the breakroom. “You made it.”
Zach huffs a relieved breath, looking like he barely escaped the Spanish Inquisition by not having to finish his sentence.
“We’re headed to the Thai Opal for lunch,” Ben tells me, even though I already know. Why Ben wanted me to come along for lunch, I’m not entirely certain. He felt that in addition to my apology, it would help if Zach got to know me better, learn that I’m not a total asshole – something Victoria would be surprised to learn as well.
“I love that place!” I say honestly. “It’s my favorite, or maybe a tie with the Taj Mahal. I love anything spicy, innuendo fully intended.”
Zach’s eyes widen, and a garbled sound slips out between his firmly pressed lips.
“Would you like to join us?” Ben asks, then stifles a grunt. It doesn’t take a great imagination to guess that Zach kicked him, but I find reassurance in the knowledge that Zach has a feisty side.
Normally we’d take our lunches at different times, but Ben and I already tag teamed Ted this morning in order to get our schedules to match up. I’m only having to stay an hour extra to help with inventory in return, since that’s what Ted would be doing right now if he didn’t have to man the front.
“Sounds awesome! Let me go clock out and I’ll be right back.”
Zach’s face loses all traces of blush, replaced with the paleness of someone struck dumb with terror. Ben’s chewing his tongue to keep from laughing out loud. They’re whispering harshly, but straighten up and act like they totally weren’t arguing over me when I return.
“To the Thai Opal!” I announce and hold the door open for them with a flourish. Ben is the one that smirks at me, but I wink at Zach and he stumbles over the doorjamb.
Ben’s humming to himself and Zach is slouched and quiet as we walk the two blocks to the restaurant. I’ve apologized, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I need to do more. Be better. It’s not a feeling I’ve experienced before.
“Hey.” I gently touch Zach’s elbow to get his attention without startling him too much. His gaze flits to mine briefly before refocusing on the sidewalk in front of him. “I was hoping you’d let me buy your lunch? As an apology. I really feel terrible about Friday, and I’d like to try to make it up to you.”
“That’s okay,” he says. “Ben texted me earlier and offered to treat me to lunch.”
“If it means more cash in my wallet, I’m fine with the trade-off,” Ben says, turning around to hold the restaurant door open for us. “Order the most expensive thing on the menu, Zach. Make him really pay for being an ass.” He’s laughing as he says it, but his eyes show he means it, so I nod in agreement.
“Okay. Thanks, I guess,” Zach shrugs as we’re seated.
“You’re not supposed to thank me for trying to pay a penance,” I laugh. “You’re supposed to say, ‘Damn straight! And I’m getting cheese fries.’”
Zach’s eyebrows quirk, and Ben just shakes his head.
“Too much?” I ask innocently, which garners a nod from Ben and a small smile from Zach.
“Whatever, Regina,” he says quietly under his breath. Score.
We don’t wait long to order, since we’re all a bunch of regulars here, and soon I’m thinking of ways to get Zach talking.
“So how do you two know each other?”
“We met at school,” Zach says, to my surprise. I’d assumed Ben would answer, and that eventually Zach would feel comfortable enough with me to join in. Fingers crossed this means he’s warming up to me faster than expected. “CSU.” He nods in the general direction of campus.
“Roomies?”
He smiles at that, a full smile this time, and shakes his head. “Not until later.”
I look to Ben, who also has a mile-wide grin on his face.
“Okay, now I really have to know.” I lean across the table to where they are sitting next to each other. “Come on. Spill.”
Zach sighs back into his chair, covering his eyes with a hand. He peeks through his fingers at Ben, and obviously they are good enough friends that Ben can translate. I don’t care how embarrassing the story is, Zach is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I desperately wish I could ask him out, but those doe eyes directed at Ben leave little doubt where his affection lies.
“I was part of the Gay Straight Alliance in college.” Ben leans forward, commanding all the attention of the table. “And since I’m a bit of a loudmouth, I was voluntold to man the booth at orientation.”
“Voluntold?”
“Yep. It’s where they pretend I volunteered, but really they told me I had to do it.”
“I’m just going to go to the restroom for the next, oh, twenty minute
s. Tell them to box my food to go.” Zach starts to stand, but Ben grabs his sleeve until he sits back down. I can’t help the grin on my face despite my jealousy of how cute these two are together.
“Sit your ass down. So. GSA booth. I’ve got this stack of flyers and cute rainbow buttons and I’m approaching everyone with them.” He emphasized everyone and gives Zach a pointed look.
“Weren’t you nervous doing that?” I know that’s not the point, but seriously, Ben must have balls of steel. I’m confident as hell in a gay bar, but I grew up in a place considerably more liberal than Fort Collins, and I still would have been nervous approaching strangers while waving my rainbow flag.
“Nah. I got comments from a few jackasses, but it was mostly a bunch of nervous freshmen. Which brings me to …”
Zach groans and covers his face again, but the story is halted by the arrival of our orders. Ben shovels in his first mouthful as Zach sags back into his chair with relief.
Right. Like I’m letting it drop that easily.
7
Zach
Thank god the food arrives. I hate this story, but I’ll admit Ben tells it well. I crack up every time, even though the laughs are at my expense. The most surprising part, though, is the look from Craig. Yes, it’s amusement, but there’s also something that looks a lot like … fondness. It’s confusing me.
Not only that, but I swear Craig is staring at my lips while I blow on my Tom Kha. Steam rolls off the soup in waves, so it’s an innocent enough action, but I keep doing it to see if it’s just my imagination. Maybe he’s not as straight as I thought. His eyes are still on my lips, and he shifts in his seat, but now that I’ve been so bold I can feel my face starting to heat up. I fan myself, trying to play it off like it’s just the soup.
“Spicy.”
Ben looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. Oh my god, I’m totally making it worse. Can I crawl under the table and die now?
Craig clears his throat and pulls his eyes away from me. “So what happened?” he asks Ben, who shovels another mouthful of his Pad Thai before continuing.
“Well, there’s this one freshman that catches my eye,” he says with a wink at me. “He’s wearing a hoodie, looking like he wishes he could crawl inside it and hide like a turtle. So what’s a shy kid like that doing wandering around the orientation booths, you might ask?” Like I said, he’s gotten good at telling this story. “His mom is there, dragging him to all the booths, introducing him to each group there.”
“No.” Craig gapes.
“Yes,” I mutter and pretend like my soup is the most interesting thing in the whole world.
“She’s obviously hitting up all the religious organizations, but she’s not very discriminating. She also drags him to all the fraternities, the a capella group …”
“I can’t sing,” I feel the need to interrupt. I really can’t. My mom went bat-shit crazy that week.
Ben laughs. “It’s true. He can’t hold a tune to save his life. Oh, and the intramural sports group! Zach was even skinnier and more noodle-y back then, if you can believe it. I mean, what sport was he going to play, quidditch?”
“Thanks,” I deadpan, and try to skewer Ben with my eyes, but he just grins back.
“You’re welcome!” he says and pauses for another bite. Meanwhile, my soup bowl is almost empty, not surprising with all the attention I’ve devoted to it, but Craig’s plate is still full. He’s so engrossed in Ben’s story that he keeps forgetting to eat.
“Mrs. Keller has a loud voice. A little shrill.” Craig’s eyes jump to me, but I can’t disagree. “And I can hear her several booths away. ‘Zachariah, did you know they have a True Love Waits club? My Zachariah is a virgin too!’”
Craig just about chokes on his rice, and he waves his hand in front of his face until he can breathe again.
Oh well. If he was feeling any attraction earlier, it’s guaranteed to be gone now. This is why I hate the story. So fucking embarrassing.
“Stop,” he says, still patting his chest like he’s making sure he’s not going to relapse into another coughing fit. “You have to be making this up.”
“I wish,” I grumble, and he shoots me a look that’s a strange combination of pity and admiration, probably because I’m still living and breathing and not dead after having suffered such an embarrassment. Little does he know that this story doesn’t even crack my top five embarrassing moments.
“As they get closer, she eyes our booth and then starts to guide Zach over to the other side. Totally maneuvering him around us, right?”
Craig nods eagerly, as if he knows Ben well enough by now to know he’d never pass up an opportunity like that. And he’d be right.
“This bi – sorry, Zach – this lady has been going to every single booth. I think she might have even stopped at the Black Student Alliance. But then tries to avoid us? So I run across the path and jump out in front of them. ‘Hi! I’m Ben, part of the Gay Straight Alliance, and we want you to have a gay GSA day! And a rainbow button.’ And this poor kid’s eyes get so big, as big as the fucking rainbow buttons, and he screeches. Seriously, I’ve never heard another sound like it before or since. He screeches, ‘I’m not gay!’ and bolts.”
Craig’s face is beet red, he’s laughing so hard. “Oh my god, Zach,” he says, as if expecting me to correct any of this story. Believe me, I would if I could.
“No, wait,” Ben says with a chuckle. “Zach bolts, but if you haven’t noticed yet, he’s not the most coordinated.”
I toss in another “Thanks” which he ignores as he presses on.
“So he stumbles, and falls into our booth. He reaches out to try to catch himself, but instead, he just pulls the tablecloth off and somehow tangles himself up in it while flopping to the ground. And our tablecloth is a rainbow flag. So there lies Zach, wrapped in a rainbow, while his mother yells at us, ‘Get away from him! He’s not gay!’ She wouldn’t even let us help him up.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, you guys were laughing too hard to help me up.”
“True. So true,” Ben says, laughing in earnest now.
Craig looks at me with tears in his eyes. I would say it makes him less attractive, but I can’t. Somehow it only emphasizes their depth and brilliance, and fuck, now I’m staring into his eyes.
“I feel so bad laughing at you right now, but oh my god.”
“Eh,” I wave him off, “I’ve had four years to come to terms with it.”
Funny how it’s easier to talk to Craig now that we’ve all spent the last thirty minutes laughing our asses off at me. I guess my subconscious realizes that what I always fear will happen has already come to pass, so it can’t get any worse. But damn, those eyes. And that sexy-as-hell eyebrow ring. At least I won’t be wasting my time wistfully wishing for him. Who needs the True Love Waits club when you’ve got this story?
“Wow, that’s …” Craig shakes his head. “I don’t even know what that is.”
“Ben felt terrible about it and hunted me down to apologize. If you can’t tell already, he can be quite stubborn. He wouldn’t leave me alone. I eventually forgave him, and he forced me to be his best friend forevermore.”
Ben bats his eyes and puts his head on my shoulder before I shrug him off.
“So you two really are just friends?”
I fake cringe. “Yuck, like I’d really want to date this big galoot.”
“Hey!”
I smirk at Ben’s put-upon expression. “Hey nothing. You deserve a little payback after telling that story.”
“He asked.” Ben points to Craig.
“Oh no, don’t drag me into it. You could have just said ‘We met while I was working at freshman orientation.’ Boom. Done.”
“Right?” I put my hand over my heart. “You are my newest favoritist person. Thank you. Together we will win the war against evil storytelling giants everywhere.”
I can’t fathom where my courage is coming from, but it only grows as Craig smiles back at me and says, “You�
�re my newest favoritist person too.”
Damn. My heart feels like it’s going to float away.
“Get a room,” Ben coughs, and my happiness plummets from its unnatural high. I stomp on his foot under the table. At least I can bring him down with me.
8
Craig
“Well, that was fun.”
I rest my hand on Zach’s arm to keep him back while Ben enters the store ahead of us. I’m not normally this slow with cute boy signals, but I think I finally figured Zach’s out over lunch. The blush isn’t over Ben; it’s over me. He likes me, or at least finds me attractive. And that, oh hell, yeah, I can work with that.
As lunch progressed, Zach began to lighten up. He didn’t stop to carefully choose his words, and he smiled more, although still mostly at Ben. But there were a few glances my way. And oh god, the way he ate his soup was hell on my pants, which aren’t usually so tight.
“You should give me your number so we can do it again sometime.”
Zach utters a slightly inhuman sound I’m positive can’t be found in a dictionary, and a fresh new flush blooms across his cheeks in a delicious shade of “Bite Me.” I’m not giving him the opportunity to say no, so I pull out my phone and open up the contacts. I wait expectantly and shake my phone in front of his face.
“Your number?”
After he dictates it to me, I send him a quick “Hi” text and winky face. His phone dings audibly from his pocket, and he startles, almost like he wasn’t expecting me to actually text him, much less do so immediately.
“There, now you have my number too. I’ll text you later to set something up. Do you like sushi?”
He blinks for a minute before my question sinks in, then smiles in surprise. “I love it.”
“Perfect. I know a great place in Old Town.”
“Suzushi’s?” When I nod, his enthusiasm increases and his shyness subsides a little. “It’s my favorite. Are you a roll or a sushi guy?” His eyes narrow skeptically, like this is a quiz I need to pass.