Keeping the Pieces

by Brenda Lowder

  He sighed and looked down into her upturned face, already lost. A small smile played around the corners of her mouth, and her eyes were flashing.

  “Yes?”

  She slid her hand up his arm to rest on his shoulder. “What about me?”

  “What about you?” Suddenly the anger he’d been keeping at bay surged hot in his veins. “You chose him. You’re engaged to him.” He pushed his hair back from his brow. “What did you think would happen between us? You’re marrying someone else.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. He steeled his heart. He wasn’t going to let it work on him. But he gave in anyway. Just a sliver.

  He took a deep breath. “Aren’t you?”

  Honey nodded, a thoughtful expression on her pretty face. “But I get…confused…when I’m with you.”

  “When you figure it out, let me know.”

  He danced them next to Cam and Emma, managing not to look at her again.

  Chapter Seventeen

  That couldn’t have gone better, Emma decided as she looked around the room at her increasingly intoxicated coworkers.

  It was worth everything—the haircut, the shopping and trying things on, the virtual criticism in her head from her absent mother—all the stuff she absolutely hated, for that single look of admiration and what else? Desire. That look of sheer desire she’d sparked on Cam’s face. Well, and maybe Derek had helped with the sparking desire part. That kiss. Yes. That kiss. It sparked a lot of something.

  She’d never doubt Derek again. She’d been terrified to wear such a form-fitting, revealing dress. And to get her hair cut in such a shorter, face-framing style. She felt the whole effect was one that caused entirely too much attention to be paid her. But Derek said that was the entire point and to stop complaining about it.

  The look on Cam’s face had been heart-stopping. He and Honey had argued and then stalked off in different directions. Maybe she should go find him. She didn’t know if she could wait for him to find her again.

  Travers Leavenstock, their boss’s boss, made his way through the gaggle of admirers and turned up at Emma’s side, pulling her from thoughts of Cam.

  “You know, young lady, there’s a reason I insisted that there be music at this function tonight.” He looked around at his employees, most of whom were thirty years younger than him. “It’s so there’d be dancing. Do me the honors?”

  He extended his hand to Emma, and she took it, rightly interpreting the gesture as the order it was. She followed Travers out to the empty dance floor. She felt a little like Cinderella at the ball. If only she were dancing with Cam.

  More people took the big boss’s cue and coupled up to enter the dance floor. Over Travers’s shoulder Emma searched for Cam but didn’t spot him.

  As if she’d wished him into existence, he appeared at Travers’s elbow just as the song was ending. Emma’s stomach flipped over as Travers stepped aside and let Cam take her by the hand. He spun them in a circle, steering them away from the other dancing couples as a new song started.

  “Hi,” Cam said once they were a little distance away from the group.

  “Hi,” Emma said to him, for the second time that night.

  After a heavy pause where they danced and she tried to think of something to say that wasn’t everything, he cleared his throat and color rose in his cheeks. He chuckled, a low sound deep in his throat. “This is so silly, Em. I don’t know why I suddenly don’t know how to talk to you.”

  She smiled, warmed up from the inside. She looked down at her hand clasped in his, feeling the solidity of him like a wonder. She was almost never as close to him as she wanted to be, but here she was in his arms, drifting to the music as he held her. She thought about her plan and how it had brought her this very real geographical proximity with Cam’s body scant inches, centimeters, millimeters, from her own.

  She knew him well. Too well. She knew his new awkwardness and inability to talk to her was because of their kiss, and he didn’t know what to do about it. She’d tried to bring it up before, back when she was at his apartment the day she’d installed the cameras, and he’d brushed her off by talking about what a good friend she was. But obviously he was feeling guilty about that now. She made a split-second decision to help him out. Like she always did.

  “It’s okay, Cam. I know it didn’t mean anything. It was late. And we were drunk and giddy.”

  His eyebrows squished together. He leaned down—stooping from his great height to get close to her ear. “Are you talking about our kiss?” He pulled her closer, and her heart sped up. “Don’t say it didn’t mean anything. It meant something to me.”

  She looked up at him and blinked. Since when? Was he saying she hadn’t been just a stepping stone to closing the deal with Honey? Was he changing his story? She tried to control the butterflies performing aerial maneuvers in her stomach. “Really?”

  “Really. I can’t stop thinking about it.” He straightened and looked around as if he didn’t want Honey to catch him. Catch him, what? Talking to her while they danced? He continued in a lower voice. “I’m just blown away by your beauty tonight. I couldn’t—can’t—believe it’s really you.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  He rolled his eyes at himself, and his face got red. Emma couldn’t believe it. She was making him uncomfortable. She felt a little thrill that he was nervous with her, like she was an unobtainable object. For the past twelve years she’d been oh-so-obtainable, and it had gotten her nowhere.

  He combed his hand through his hair. “That’s not what I mean. Look, I always knew you were beautiful, but you were the kind of beautiful no one else really noticed, you know?”

  Oh, she knew. She also knew that although Cam was not grouping himself among those who didn’t know she was beautiful before, he should. He’d never paid her this kind of attention—the kind that admitted she was a desirable woman—until tonight.

  The song ended, and they lingered at the edge of the room, talking. Before long, they must have drifted closer to the group of dancing couples because Derek and Honey appeared almost on top of them. Derek took Emma’s hand and gently tugged her closer. Honey’s gaze zeroed in on Derek’s hand where it held Emma’s. Emma suppressed a smile. So things had gone well for both of them tonight. The pieces were beginning to break apart.

  Honey stared at Emma, a smile at last lighting her face, if not her eyes. “Hello, Emma. You look very nice tonight.”

  “Thank you.” Emma straightened her shoulders, trying to emulate Honey’s perfect posture. She should have listened all those times her mother had told her to stop slouching. She brushed off the ghost of her mother’s criticism and stood as straight as Honey, thrusting her chest forward too. She could do this, she told herself. She could be as good as Honey. Maybe in some ways, buried way down deep, she already was.

  Honey clasped her hands in front of her. “I understand things are going very well for the two of you.” She glanced at Derek and back again. “Congratulations.”

  Derek pulled Emma’s hand to his lips, not taking his eyes from Honey’s. “Thank you. Things are going very well for us. In fact, earlier this week Emma did me the honor of accepting my proposal. We’re engaged.”

  Emma wobbled on her heel. Whoa. A heads-up on the sudden fictional engagement would’ve been nice. Derek squeezed her arm in silent apology. Emma swallowed. “Yes.”

  “June.” When Honey and Cam were getting married, of course. Or the deadline, as Emma had started calling it in her head.

  “June when?”

  “June twenty-fourth.” The day after Cam and Honey.

  Honey’s gaze narrowed. “Wow. The day after we’re getting married. What a coincidence.”

  “Crazy.” Derek kissed Emma’s hand, but his eyes returned to Honey before his lips had even made contact with her skin.

  Honey’s smile slipped, but she quickly recovered, her face brighter than ever. “You must be overwhelmed with wedding plans. There’s so little time between now and then. What’
s your venue?”

  Honey and Cam stared at Emma expectantly as they awaited her answer. Was this a test? Had Derek already mentioned a venue, and Honey was trying to trip her up? When Derek didn’t rush to answer, she figured she had to come up with something. But what if she named a place that Honey knew was already booked? She decided to go with the truth. The best way to survive weaving a web of lies was to keep them as close to the truth as possible.

  “You know, we haven’t chosen one yet.” Emma slid her hand down to hold Derek’s, interlacing their fingers. She laughed demurely. “I guess we just got so swept up in our passion and…need for one another…that we haven’t had time to worry about the logistics yet.” Derek put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. He kissed her forehead.

  Honey frowned. “Let me know if you need any help. It might already be too late to get any of the decent wedding services at this point. I’m doing my cake tasting on Thursday and that’s ridiculously late. I was lucky to get A Taste of Heaven to even do our cake.” She put her finger on her chin and regarded Emma with a thoughtful expression. “Have you made any of your appointments yet?”

  Emma swallowed. Why was she feeling guilty for not planning her fake wedding that she literally just found out about? Derek took her hand and squeezed it.

  His hand in hers gave her strength. And an idea. “Derek and I are set on a very small, intimate wedding.” She leaned her head against Derek’s hard chest. “We don’t subscribe to the…ostentatiousness…that characterizes so many other weddings.” She looked up at him and smiled. Their eyes locked for a moment. His were sparkling. “Our love just isn’t that commercial.”

  Honey nodded and her small smile was knowing. “Not like working for corporate America.”

  Oh, yeah. Emma and Cam did work for corporate America. Honey had a point.

  “What Emma means,” Derek said, “is that this is an issue we’re discussing, which is why we haven’t gotten down to the nuts and bolts of wedding planning.” He turned Emma’s hand over and lifted it to his lips, brushing her knuckles with a feather-light kiss. Her knees wobbled. Probably because Cam was watching her. Not because Derek’s lips were soft and warm and…enticing.

  “Also,” he continued, “you have to realize we’ve only just gotten engaged.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “We’ve been too busy celebrating that we found each other to deal with such ordinary things like appointments.”

  Honey and Cam looked at each other uncomfortably. Honey reached for Cam’s arm, and he put it around her, reassuring. After a second, Honey nodded again.

  “I have it. The perfect idea.” Her eyes lit up, and Emma had a feeling she was not going to like Honey’s brilliant idea. “Emma, you can come with me to my appointments. I’ve got everything planned out. Have for years.”

  “Come with you?” Just the thought made Emma’s stomach twist in vomit-inducing ropes. Shopping. And lying. Two things she hated. Two things she sucked at. And doing it all with the beautiful woman she’d never been able to compete with. It sounded as much fun as hanging out with her mother would be.

  Honey watched her with raised eyebrows. When she spoke, her tone was friendly and inviting. “Join me. We’ll shop together so you can order your stuff when I do.”

  Emma had never realized before how open and giving Honey was. Or was this a trick? Maybe she really was this nice. But that didn’t mean Emma wanted to go. “Without an appointment?”

  Honey waved a hand in the air. “The vendors will love getting double the booking.” She must have sensed how close Emma was to giving in because she smiled as if Emma had already agreed. “Meet me there at two thirty on Thursday after next, the twenty-third.” She squeezed her hands together. “We’ll have a great time. It’ll be a chance for us to get as close as you and Cam are. Real friends.”

  Emma leaned on Derek for support. He stepped behind her and propped her up to face Honey. “She’ll be there. Thursday, the twenty-third, you said? Great! Perfect. She’ll call you. We’ve gotta have a cake.”

  Honey put a finger to her chin. With a thoughtful look, she said, “Emma and I shouldn’t be keeping all the fun to ourselves. We should do something together. The four of us. A double date or something. So we can get to know each other better, Emma, as we plan our weddings together.” She left Cam’s side and looped her arm through Emma’s instead, causing her to step away from Derek.

  “I’ve always wanted to go to one of those escape rooms. What do you think?” Honey turned her gaze on Emma and, odd as the situation was, Emma felt almost flattered to have this captivating woman’s attention.

  Derek must have read Emma’s reluctance on her face, because he was at her side in a blink. “Sounds great, Honey. Just let us know when and where.”

  Honey smiled and gave them both a little wave. Derek steered Emma away from the group before she could object. When they were well out of earshot, she turned on him.

  “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

  He put a hand up. “I’m following the plan. What do you think I’m doing?”

  She poked him in the chest. “Going on a double date with them and booking a wedding cake tasting for our fake wedding was never part of the plan.”

  He wrapped her hand in his strong grip and pulled her closer until she was against him. His chest was a solid wall. Without trying, she pictured him shirtless like the night they met, the hard ridges of his chest sculpted, begging for her fingers to trace them. The heady scent of his woodsy cologne reached her, and her heart raced.

  This is Derek, she reminded her body, not Cam. Cool down.

  “Sure it was,” he whispered in her ear. “It’s covered under ‘expanding geography.’”

  Emma looked up under her lashes and blinked at him. “You’ve really taken to the plan.”

  He released her hand to run his own through his hair. “Well, yeah. It was pretty well thought out.” Did he feel the heat between them too? Or was it all in her mind? “So don’t blow our cover.”

  Even though she was mad as hell that she might have to pay for an expensive wedding cake when there would be no actual wedding, she smiled. He appreciated her plan. The thought warmed her, which was no small feat considering how chilly she felt in her revealing dress.

  “And did you see Cameron’s face?” He grinned. “You blew him away. My plan totally worked. You’re not the only mad genius around here.”

  Emma felt like she should be able to take credit for her own physical assets, thank you very much, but she didn’t want to puncture the warm bubble of success they were floating in.

  He was happy. She was happy. Soon they’d be with the people they really loved. And then they’d be really happy.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The next day Derek dreaded going to work, which was unusual. Oddly enough, he loved his job. Despite his recent ambition to earn a degree in physiology, he was happy with his day job. He loved being a trainer. He loved seeing the transformation he helped people achieve. A small thrill of pride energized him every time one of his clients completed a marathon or a Tough Mudder or even a 5K because he could see the difference he was making. Their accomplishments were his too. He was a force for good against the onslaught of overeating and couch potato vegetation.

  But not today.

  As he walked into the building, the sadness creeped in on him, knowing he wouldn’t see Honey. To be in this place he associated with her, where so many of his thoughts were of her, and not see her made him feel empty inside. He’d even miss the false hope that seeing her and being close to her brought.

  He went to the men’s locker room to change. Last night when Honey was dancing in his arms, he’d felt that her breakup with Cam was an eventuality. Like he and Honey were moments away from being together for real. She was there in his arms, wasn’t she?

  But the dance had ended and so had the night and once again he was back in his normal life.

  He’d have to content himself with looking forward to the
ir double date and cake tasting. And try not to think about the hollow in his day where she used to be.

  He sat down at the lat pulldown machine and did a few reps. Maybe Emma was right and being close to Honey as much as possible really was the answer. Maybe he could find some other way to show up in her life. And maybe all this would work and Honey could come back to the gym because they’d be together by then. Or not.

  He really hated all this emotional crap.

  After three sets where he tried to concentrate on the burn of his muscles and not the rolling in his gut, he left the lat machine, picked up a couple of free weights, and sat at a bench to knock out some bicep curls.

  “Hello! Hello? Where you at, dude?”

  Derek focused on the hand waving in front of his face and found it attached to his youngest brother, Ryder.

  “Hey, kid.” Derek smiled, always happy to see his favorite brother. He racked the weights he’d been curling and clapped Ryder on the back.

  A look of irritation crossed Ryder’s face and Derek tried not to laugh. Ryder hated being called “kid.” He was twenty-two now, as he liked to remind his older brothers, and it bothered him. Which is why Derek would keep doing it.

  “Hey.” Ryder refrained from delivering his lecture on his being an adult this time and instead sat on the weight bench across from the one Derek was using.

  Derek folded his arms and looked down at his little brother. “Why aren’t you in class?”

  Ryder had made the drive from Athens, which was more than an hour outside of Atlanta, and on a weekday morning. Something was up. Derek sat back down on his weight bench.

  Ryder ran a hand through his hair which Derek noted had not been washed this morning. It stuck up on top and made Ryder look even younger than usual. It also needed to be cut since it was starting to fall over his ears.

  “Macey’s pregnant.”

  His news delivered, Ryder slumped forward with his arms on his legs. He looked at Derek with raised eyebrows, practically holding his breath.

  Was he waiting for his big brother to pass judgment?