Like a spark to tinder, I just go up in flames. As I expected, Sin cannot quench me. I can only burn.
So I do. I burn and writhe, grip his shoulders and push down until there’s no telling where one of us begins and the other ends. I come with him wrapped up in my silken muscles, and then I drag him over the edge with me, making his balls tighten, seed erupting in my core.
After that, still shaking, still panting, I fall to the side and curl myself up in the cushions.
Sin stays where he is, but there’s another set of footsteps that approaches.
Before I know it, I’m being lifted up and carried through the dark house, up the stairs, into the third-floor bedroom. Beast places me on the bed, covers me up, and strokes my hair back.
“Wedding night,” he says again, and I curl my lip at him just before he releases me and takes a seat in the same chair where I fucked Crown.
I fall asleep watching him, a demon bound and leashed to a devil.
The sunlight burns my eyes, and I hiss at it, like a real vampire or some shit.
“Up and at ‘em,” Nellie tells me cheerfully. I’m so surprised to hear her voice that I come to quickly, sitting up and blinking through the pain of the bright morning light. It takes me several seconds to place my location. Not at the cathedral with Grey. Not in my room at home. In the cemetery house aka Gram’s aka … I got fucked by four dudes in a row. Again. Sort of. Also, screw you, Beast.
I look around, but it’s Sin standing near the doorway and watching Nellie with eyes the color of gravestones and a frown to match. When he sees me staring at him, he stares right back, and I remember all of the lies that left his lips.
Or … truths.
Or lies.
Shit.
“Why are we up so goddamn early?” I grumble, rubbing at my forehead. Then I remember that Reba is missing and fear spikes through me all over again. That’s what I need to be working on today. Not whatever it is that Nellie wants.
“You’re coming with me and the other wives to set up the party for tonight,” she says, opening the last of the drapes and turning to smile at me. Tattooed, track marks in her arms, but wearing an expensive designer sundress. That’s the new Nellie Kesselring for ya.
Oh. That’s the right. The freaking party.
“And I’m going with you. I have shit to deal with at the clubhouse anyway.” Sin rubs at his forehead, and I stare at his hand, wondering if it’s the same one he used to work me to my first orgasm of the night. He catches me looking and frowns even harder.
“I feel like I might have other things to do today,” I tell her, trying and failing not to be an asshole this early in the morning. My entire body is sore, my neck is throbbing with hickeys, and I have Reba to worry about. Hanging lights, directing prospects on where to place kegs, and catering barbeque does not sound like a great use of my time.
“Cat’s orders,” Sin says, surprising me by replying before Nellie even gets a chance to. He gives me a very pointed look. “He wants you at the clubhouse today.”
I frown hard, but Nellie’s smiling, and I know this means a lot to her. Maybe it makes her a bad mom—past actions certainly did, but this one could be either—but I think she’s excited about having me join her among the ranks of the other wives.
“I’ll meet you downstairs,” she tells me, smiling in just such a way that I can imagine why Cat went out of his way to make her his. She pats my head as she passes which is just weird as hell.
“Beast is looking into Gaz,” Sin tells me, and I blink through my surprise to stare up at him. “He’s looking into Gaz specifically to find Reba.” He sighs then and shakes his head. “Fuck, I’d almost hate him if I didn’t think he’d actually be a good husband for you.”
I prop a knee up and the blanket falls down, revealing much more of my naked form than I think Sin wants to see at this moment.
“Are you seriously not going to look at me?” I ask, and he flicks his gaze right over, tearing through me with hunger in his eyes, with violent need. I swallow hard. Maybe I shouldn’t have taunted him like that?
“You should get up and get dressed. Even if you don’t like the way the club works, you should at least understand what you’re getting into and how things function around here.” He turns and takes off, ignoring me as I grab a pillow and chuck it at his back, aiming for the Death by Daybreak rocker. It misses, bouncing off the door harmlessly, but at least this time, after last night, he’s not ignoring me.
Not a one of them better be.
I climb out of bed and dress myself in red shorts with my ass hanging out, and pair it with a black halter, just to see what sort of reaction I might get.
“Fucking hell, Gidge,” Sin grinds out when I appear in the foyer to find him waiting for me. He looks me over and shakes his head. “You do realize you’re going to be hanging shit and bending over today?”
“And you do realize that you said you were going to be at the clubhouse, so I have someone to show off for?” I raise a brow at him as I saunter past and out the front door. He closes it behind us and curses under his breath as we pick our way through the trees, across the parking lot, and up the front steps of the DBD clubhouse.
There are several dozen women in there. All of them older than me. All of them staring.
“Gidget,” Nellie says, moving over to take my arm and guide me into the room. “You know the girls …” She goes about reintroducing me to people I’ve known my entire life, people who act like I’m someone brand-new that they just met, as if getting engaged to Beast has changed the core of my very soul.
“This is agonizing,” I tell Sin when I manage to slip away a few minutes later. I’ve always been more comfortable with the men in the club—even as a child. And not because there’s anything wrong with the women. I simply don’t like the roles they play in this fucked-up, backward little society of ours.
I want to ride a bike. Or find my friend. Or kill Giulia Wolfe by slitting her throat.
That’s what I want to do here.
“You think this isn’t?” Sin asks, looking up from his desk. He’s got an iPad, his phone, and a laptop all turned on and functioning as part of his job. He gestures at the items as he leans back in his chair. “Housing an army, feeding an army, keeping that army happy when they’re away from home and frothing to get their hands on the Grey Wolfe Mafia? Not a fun task. Not everything in the club is drinking and partying and …”
“Fucking?” I ask, pushing the door to his office closed with my ass. Sin curses again, but he doesn’t stop me when I move over to sit on the edge of his desk. I cross my legs and tap my heels against the side of it. “Well, you were going to say it, not me.”
He leans the rest of the way back in his chair and sighs at me.
“Every man out there watched you walk in, you know,” he says, and then glancing over at the wall on his left, he adds, “it pissed me the fuck off.”
I smile at that, but I’m not sure how to respond. I think about last night, about him telling me that he hadn’t been with another woman in a long time.
“I want to keep up the search for Reba. I know I seem okay, but I’m not.” I exhale and reach up to push dark hair back from my face. We can’t talk freely here unless … I scoot off the edge of the desk and straddle Sin’s legs. He glances back at me but says nothing as I lower myself into his lap, my hands on his shoulders like they were last night.
“You’re doing this on purpose to mess with me,” he growls, but he puts his hands on my hips and lets me stay there. I lean in to put my mouth near his ear. Maybe I also nibble it a little in the process, and he warns me by squeezing his hands even harder and making me groan.
“Grey will keep Reba as safe as he can for as long as he can, but I have to find her. He’s waiting for me to figure this thing out.” I lick the shell of Sin’s ear and yank on one of his silver hoops with my teeth before he finally pushes me back.
“You might have trust in this guy, but I sure as hell don’t. Gidge
, if anyone can find Reba, it’ll be Beast. That is, if she’s still alive.”
I sigh and look down, focusing on Sin’s chest beneath his t-shirt, pressing my fingertips against him to feel the hard, unyielding body underneath. I know he’s right. I know that. Beast will track Gaz to the ends of the earth and, if I’m right about all of this, then Gaz will lead him to Reba.
Grey left me that goddamn key for a reason.
And Beast made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse. I examine the gold ring on my finger, and my heart flutters like a trapped bat. “I will get you Reba. If I don’t, you can walk down that aisle with someone else.”
“That was a weird night for me, I won’t lie,” I start, and Sin gets tense. I’m not sure what he thinks I’m about to say, but I can tell he’s prepared to not like it. “Because last time something like that happened, you guys disappeared on me.”
That day with the pregnancy test flashes in my mind. How angry I was with them. How hopeful I felt at the same time. How stupid I felt because I even remotely thought I could trust them.
Even now, even after all that, where are we? They’ve lied for me, yes. It’s a big fucking deal, okay.
But I still want more.
“Why?” This time, when I look up at Sin, I don’t expect to see him looking both pained and proud.
My eyes search his silver ones for the truth, hoping that he respects me enough at this point to just give it to me.
“Gidge, none of us wanted to leave you alone after that.” Sin pauses here and looks away again, setting his jaw in frustration. “Well, except for maybe me. I almost let myself give in that night. I almost took you for myself.” He looks back at me and shakes his head. “Taking you to the clubhouse was a huge mistake, but I got caught up in wanting to please you.” He reaches out and hooks some hair behind my ear with two fingers, staring at them more than he’s staring at me. “After that … we decided as a group that it was for the best if we left you alone.”
I keep staring at him until he finally adjusts his gaze back to my face.
“You what?” I ask, hearing my voice get tense. Sin must notice, too, but he doesn’t stop. Somehow, as he speaks, it feels like he’s still trying to give me one, last chance to run.
“The four of us decided that you were too young, that you deserved a chance to leave. If you were going to pick this life, we wanted you to pick it for yourself. We didn’t want to be responsible for …” And here he curls up the edge of his lip. “Grooming you.” Sin turns back to me, but my heart is stuttering a bit in my chest.
“You … the four of you made some sort of pact to stay away from me?” I whisper, trying to make sense of that, trying to decide if it bothers me, if it makes me feel better, if … fuck, I don’t know.
“We promised each other that we’d leave you alone until after you graduated. It wasn’t easy, Gidget. It never was. It won’t be in the future.”
I give him another dark look.
“What do you mean in the future? Because of the wedding?” I lean away from him like he’s a crazy person. How are they not getting this? How are they not understanding what I want?
Because I have to tell them. Because they’re hot-headed outlaws who can’t get shit through those thick skulls of theirs.
“Because of the wedding,” Sin agrees, and then he pushes me back enough that I’m forced to stand up or fall. “Trust that Beast will find your friend. If she’s alive, he’ll do it. Meanwhile, I have to plan for the arrival of an army.”
He leans over his desk like he’s going to start working again.
I slam a palm down on it, and he glances up at me.
“You made one huge, colossal decision without me once upon a time. I won’t allow you to do it again.” Then I turn and leave, slamming his office door behind me. Several of the wives glance my way with confused expressions, and a few even smirk and exchange looks. “Yeah, I’m fucking the road captain, too. My husband knows.” I start walking down the hall toward the front entrance, pausing once more before I head back outside. “The VP and the sergeant-at-arms are also mine. Spread the word around so all the girls know. So help me, if one of the club-whores even approaches one of those four, it’ll be trouble.”
I step into the sun and slam the front door behind me, only to run straight into Crown. He has his arms crossed over his chest.
“You thought to, what, spread the word so that Cat will know?” Crown asks dryly, but I shake my head.
“The women keep most of their gossip to themselves the same way the men do. Nellie will bully anyone who tries to do otherwise because I’m her kid. Anyway, who cares if Cat knows? What business of it is his?”
Only … he will care. He won’t like it. And it’ll cast more suspicion my way.
Still, I couldn’t help myself.
“We cannot always get what we want,” Crown tells me, once again getting that lecturer’s voice of his on. He sighs desperately as he looks me over, sliding his hand over his face and cursing into his palm. I know what he wants. He wants a partner, a confidante, someone who’s his and only his.
Even were I to marry him instead of Beast, he still wouldn’t get what he wants because I will never be the sort of girl who loves only one man. There’s too much of me. I’m too volatile. I’m a white-hot star in a distant galaxy, and I need people in my orbit.
“That might be true,” I tell him, looking up and into his moss green eyes. “I can’t have my sisters back. No matter how hard I wish and want. But you know what I can do? I can tell you that I’m pissed off at the four of you.”
“Pissed off at us?” Crown queries back in surprise, and a hint of anger darkens his eyes. “Pissed off at us for what, exactly? For shifting our entire lives to suit a whim of yours?”
“Saving Grey was not a whim,” I whisper at him, stepping close so that he can hear but nobody else will. “You knew that. You know that, or else you wouldn’t have helped me.” I exhale and turn my head aside, caught up on the rather sudden revelation Sin just dumped in my lap. “Sin told me the four of you had some sort of caucus after that night?”
I don’t have to specify which night I’m talking about. We all know. We always know.
It’s a night that became a pinnacle of the first sixteen years of my life, defined it for two more, and then led me straight back here. Full circle.
“We discussed your well-being, sure,” Crown offers up, as if nothing at all about that was wrong. He just keeps staring down at me, the sun playing across his tanned skin, his face clean-shaven, his chocolate hair tousled and gleaming with highlights in the sun. Everything about him makes me weak in the knees, makes my stomach flip-flop, my pussy clench. I hate how much I want him, how much I burn for him. “We couldn’t start fighting over a teenage girl, could we? Gidget, you had to want this. You had to come back here and choose it.”
“So I did. I’m here.” I throw my arm out to indicate the clubhouse area where the rest of the wives are. “I chose it. I’m eighteen. I’m telling you what I want.” I exhale and my dark hair flutters around my face. “I want the four of you. I don’t care what justifications you need to make, what rationalizations in your mind. I definitely don’t give a crap about logistics. All I know is that I want this.”
He says nothing, and I’m done talking, so I just huff and turn around, heading back into the clubhouse proper.
“Just put me to work,” I tell Nellie, and she smiles in a way I haven’t seen in years. When Crown walks in behind me, ehh. She isn’t smiling anymore.
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” she tells him, grabbing his arm and giving him a look. “Cat is not going to like this.”
“I know,” Crown tells her, pulling his arm away and slipping into Sin’s office without saying a word to me.
Good. Because I could use a break from the lot of them.
For the rest of the day, the other women give me a wide, wide berth. Guess Cat was right when he said they were already afraid of me. Good for them.
They should be.
The party starts soon after I hear the first sound of an approaching bike, a single rider that bleeds into a cacophony of howling spirits. The compound turns into a raging inferno with loud music, scantily clad women, and men in leather. There’s booze aplenty. Cocaine. Weed. Gossip.
“He told me he liked to be pegged. Have you ever heard of that?” one of the groupie girls asks another. I’m sitting near them for now while Sin politicks, Crown follows Cat around, and Beast is off watching my brother. It’s Grainger who’s watching me now.
“Pegging is when you wear a strap-on and fuck a dude in the ass,” I tell her loudly, leaning close to be heard. The girl’s eyes get wide before flicking back to Grainger. She hurriedly turns away, and I smile.
“You just had to go and open your big mouth, eh Gidge?” he taunts, standing far too close to me. “By the way, you never asked me if I wanted to be your fuckboy bitch.”
“You never asked me if I wanted to be deflowered and left alone two years ago.” I turn to glare at him, knocking my heels against the railing I’m sitting on. The asshole cannot take his eyes off my leather-clad legs or the plunging neckline of my top. “Sin told me all about it, how you guys agreed to wait until after I graduated to pursue me.”
Cade just stares at me like I’ve lost my damn mind.
“You would’ve preferred it if Crown snatched you up then? Married your sixteen-year-old ass and got you pregnant? Don’t be stupid.”
I slide off the railing and turn to him, using the height from my heels to put me at least a little closer to his face.
“Me? You’re the one who keeps acting like he isn’t interested when, clearly, he is.” I turn and fling my arm out in the direction of the girls behind me, the ones scoping the crowd for available men. “If you want a club-whore, go on then. Pick one out. Sleep with her. And then you can forget about ever having anything with me.”
I Am Dressed in Sin: A Reverse Harem Age Gap Romance (Death By Daybreak Motorcycle Club Book 2) Page 25