“No, Kerry. Not like this,” he said. I could feel his body disagreeing with his words and I pressed my advantage by grinding my hips against him. He groaned and then rolled so I was under him. He held himself away from me. “I don’t want you to make love to me because you’re afraid, Kerry. I want you to make love with me because you love me.”
“You sound like Mathias,” I said, hoping to goad him into something rash.
“He’s right from time to time, you know,” Xavier said reasonably. “You’re afraid of what might happen when the sun goes down. That’s a terrible reason to have sex with me, especially for our first time.”
I groaned. I knew Xavier was right, but that didn’t change how I felt about the issue. “I wanted my first time to be a human experience,” I said.
“And it will be. Just because you’re a panther doesn’t mean you stop being human, Kerry. When we make love for the first time. It will be because we both want to be closer than we could be in any other manner. Because we know we’ll spend the rest of our lives loving each other. But it won’t be because you’re afraid of anything.”
Xavier levered himself to the side so he could hold me. “Tell me about what you want to do tomorrow,” he said. “What happens tonight won’t change what we do tomorrow. Talk to me.”
I wrapped my arm around his waist and tucked my head under his chin. I told him I wanted to go to the beach with my mom and Tawnya and his parents. We talked about going back to school on Monday. We talked about college in a year for him and two for me. We talked about all the future things I’d not allowed myself to think of for seven days.
When I realized the light was all but gone from our rocky perch, I stopped talking. Xavier sat up and pulled me up to sit beside him. Behind us, the twilight crept out of the woods and across the rocks. The sun slipped lower and my heart thundered in my chest. I gripped Xavier’s hand like the lifeline I knew it was. His thumb swept restlessly back and forth across the back of my hand. We were both wound so tight I could almost hear our nerves singing.
“You’ll be here, for all of it, right?” I asked.
“I’m not going anywhere, babe.” Xavier leaned close to me and began to sing softly.
“Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine. I’ll taste your strawberries. I’ll drink your sweet wine.” He pulled me against him so we could both face the setting sun.
“What’s that song?” I asked.
“It’s the song my mother sang to me when I first changed,” he said. “It’s about living for today and being the best you can be tomorrow. I’ve loved it since I was four and could remember the words.”
“Don’t stop,” I said.
Xavier sang the rest of the song. Scalding tears formed tracks of heat down my cheeks. I twisted, found his lips and let the warmth of him wash over me. He held me tight, letting me take comfort in his kiss, his warmth, his love.
Behind me, the sun dropped lower in the sky. Time marched forward no matter how much we wished it could wait for us. I wasn’t ready for my life to end. I wanted this moment to last forever. I wanted to stay on this ledge, trapped in time, but held by his love.
“How much longer?” I whispered.
“Maybe ten minutes.”
Ten minutes before the end of my world and the beginning of his.
“What will it feel like?”
“Don’t do that, Kerr. Please.”
“I have to know. I have to be ready.”
Xavier kissed me again, pressing his lips against mine desperately before tenderly kissing my forehead.
“I’m here for you so you don’t have to be ready,” he said.
“Tell me what it feels like,” I said, tracing his lips with my fingers. “Please.”
He sighed, but I could tell I had won.
“It’s like ants crawling all over your skin. Your muscles jerk and tremble. You have no control over your body and you can feel every change your muscles and bones make as the beast comes to the surface. It’s terrible and wonderful at the same time.”
I trailed my fingers down his arms, reveling in the feel of his muscles tensed under his skin. The minutes ticked away, no matter how hard I tried to make them stop.
“What a difference seven days can make,” I whispered. “If my life were only seven days long, I could live my entire lifetime in a single minute. How much longer?”
Xavier shook his head, refusing to answer.
I turned to watch the sun sink ever lower in the sky. It didn’t matter that he wouldn’t tell me, I knew. My last day was slipping away as surely as the sun slipped into the horizon.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too.” He crossed his arms over my shoulders, pulling me against his chest while we watched the sunset.
As the last of the sunlight faded into the darkness, I could feel the marching of ants along my skin. The jerking muscles dislodged me from Xavier’s embrace and I turned so his beloved face would fill my vision. His pale eyes grew large and changed so drastically it was hard to see in them the man I loved, but I knew he was there. We gazed at each other and eternity passed in the turning of only one minute of the earth's path around the sun. I held my breath, wanting to cling to that last minute. The last of the light slipped away and the silver moonlight left us bathed in its cold reality. It was over. The sun had set. The mood had risen. Xavier lay on his side, his breath coming in short pants. His tail swished irritably.
I knelt by his side. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered, sinking my fingers into his deep black fur.
Xavier growled low but leaned into my very human hands.
[Fluffer Nutter]
I hope you enjoyed Seven Days. Don’t miss the rest of the Highland Home series including Mourning Sun, Captured Sun, Banished Sun, and Nine Lives. These books are now available wherever you buy books.
Coming soon! Book Six: Two Suns
Seven Days Page 16