He kissed me hard, doubling my sensations. But after a moment, I pushed his head away, needing air. My chest heaved as trembles and aftershocks rocked through my body. I panted as I looked up at his amused expression.
“Are you okay, sweet girl?”
He withdrew his hand slowly as I tried to get my breathing under control. He slid my panties back into place and raised his fingers to his lips, licking them with a wink at me. “See? Told you you were sweet.”
I smiled at him, unable to do anything else. I didn’t know what this meant, but I was so glad we could be together tonight. It was an even better gift than the diamond bracelet.
“Let’s get you upstairs,” Ethan said, smoothing my skirt down and then standing up.
He picked me up again, and I clung gratefully to his neck. At top of the stairs, he took a few steps and then hesitated. “Shall I take you do your bedroom?”
Staring into his piercing blue eyes, I shook my head.
“Shall I take you to mine?”
I nodded.
The smile that broke out on his face made me want him even more.
Seventeen
Ethan
Waking up in the morning and finding Kate nestled against my chest was a surprise for all of two seconds. Then it all came back to me, the whole amazing night. Our romantic dinner. My giving her the bracelet. Us clinging to each other like we’d never let go.
It had been incredible. Even better than I’d imagined, and I’d spent a lot of time fantasizing what it would be like being with her. Now I knew it was so much better.
Kate was still sleeping, and it gave me time to look at her. For so long, I’d only witnessed her beauty from afar. Up close, she was even more spectacular. She lay on her side, her body curved under the blanket. One arm was visible as she clutched the edge of the sheet in her sleep.
Raising up on one elbow, I studied her face. Such clear tan skin. Maybe a few freckles by her nose—I’d seen them before but hadn’t been able to fulfill my goal of kissing them until last night. Her hair was spread out on the pillow, and even after a night of sex, the waves were shiny and luscious. Only a little light peeked in through the blinds of my windows, but I could still see the natural bronze highlights in her hair.
Light also hit the diamond engagement ring as well as her new bracelet. I still didn’t feel right about taking the former back, but I understood that it didn’t belong to either of us. Grandma had given it to me thinking Kate and I were in love. But dammit, it suited the sleeping woman in front of me so well. Kate deserved to be dripping in diamonds, not to lose a ring she was fond of.
Everything about this situation sucked. I didn’t want her to leave. Not my bed, not the country, and most of all, not me. But what choice did I have? I’d gotten my dream; I was the president of Grant Industries. Kate hadn’t gotten her dream yet. She deserved her magical trip. Even though I wished I could coax her into staying here forever.
Easing the covers aside, I swung my legs out of the bed, careful not to disturb her. Before heading to the shower, I stared down at her for one more minute. Maybe if I committed every detail of her appearance to memory, I wouldn’t miss her as much.
Yeah, right.
After I showered and shaved, Kate was still asleep. I grinned—I must’ve really worn her out last night. She was usually up making breakfast by the time I was out of the shower.
Hey, that was an idea. I could make breakfast for her for a change. Nothing as fancy as what she usually prepared, but I could make eggs. And toast. I was really good at toast.
As I picked shell fragments out of the egg whites in the skillet, I kept thinking about Kate. For such a long time, she’d been a fantasy girl. An unreal, unattainable woman. But then I’d gotten to know her. Spent time with her. We’d become partners in crime, working together to help us both reach our goals. We’d become allies.
Except now she was something more. Or at least it felt like it to me. The woman upstairs was someone I didn’t want to part with. Who would, once they knew her? But it was more than that. Kate was the kind of woman I could see by my side long term. I’d never met someone I felt so at ease with. So attracted to. Hell, I hadn’t even truly known what it meant to long for someone until I met her.
In frustration, I slammed a spatula down on the edge of the stove, making bits of scrambled eggs that weren’t stuck to the pan splatter. If only there were more time. How could anyone be expected to form a real relationship under these circumstances? Sure, I felt that we had, but how could I know if she felt the same way? It was too much to ask that she know something like that after such a short time.
Yet my feelings for her felt real. Kate was the most amazing woman I’d ever met. I thought about her all day long. Our meals together were the highlight of my day. I didn’t want that to end—though I knew it had to. She was leaving tomorrow morning for her trip.
There just wasn’t enough time.
Without conscious thought, I switched off the heat on the stove. Leaving the smoking eggs in the skillet, I ran toward the spiral staircase leading upward. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Kate, but I knew I needed to say something. To do something before she disappeared from my life forever.
As I took the stairs two at a time, my mind raced. Maybe she could postpone her trip one more time. Maybe she’d be willing to give it another month and then we could see where we were. I skidded to a stop at the top of the stairs. There was still the wedding tomorrow night. What the fuck could I do about that?
But I’d figure that out later. Right now, the most important thing was waking up that gorgeous woman in my bed and begging her not to leave. Telling her how much I needed her. Reminding her of how good we were together.
As I passed by her room, I paused. A robe—I should get her robe. She might not want to have an important conversation about her future while she was naked. Not that I’d mind that, but on second thought, it might be a little distracting. Deliciously distracting.
But now was not the time for that. This was important. This was possibly the rest of my life.
I found her robe on a hook in the closet. I grabbed it and turned—and saw her desk.
Slowly, I stepped toward it, my eyes sweeping over everything—the travel books on her desk. The stack of papers—the top one was a copy of an itinerary. And then finally, the map affixed to the board behind the desk. It sported little pins showing the cities she planned to visit.
In my haste to tell her how much I wanted her, I’d forgotten how much she wanted this.
Slowly, I set her robe down by the globe and sat at her desk. For a while, I marveled over the evidence of all the plans she’d made. All the details.
Then my eyes fell on her travel journal. Even with all the electronic preparations, she’d still insisted on using it, making notes in her feminine handwriting about places she wanted to visit. I’d always found that to be oddly charming.
I opened to a page at random. It was an entry from six months ago: All of Switzerland looks amazing, but I’m most excited about Zermatt. It’s a little town at the base of the Matterhorn. No cars are allowed—everyone walks from place to place surrounded by tall mountains. They say the Matterhorn is elusive. It’s almost never seen completely cloud-free, but for the lucky few who witness it that way, it’s an incredible sight. If we could see it like that, it would make every penny we’ve saved, every sacrifice we’ve made over the years worth it.
For a moment, I could visualize the town she was talking about. My grandparents had taken me there when I was a teen. It was every bit as gorgeous as she’d described. I’d been there—and she hadn’t. Could I really ask her to give that up for me?
I flipped forward and found another entry: It’s hard to believe I only have one month left at Grant Industries. My job is not the most interesting one in the world, but it’s a good company. If I were planning to make a career out of it, I think I could do well there. But all I can think about is the trip, and I just can’t wait. I’v
e been dreaming about it for so long, and with every passing day, it seems more real. More amazing. This is something I’ll look back on when I’m eighty. Something I’ll tell my grandkids about. And I can’t think of anyone I’d want to take the trip of a lifetime with more than Dan and Julie. It’s going to be absolutely perfect.
Shutting her journal, I threw it on the desk. Shit. What was I doing? Could I really ask her to give up on her dream for a man she’d only known for two months? A man who’d asked her to lie for him from the moment she’d first met him? This trip was more important than anything in the world to her. That’s why she’d agreed to be my fake fiancée in the first place.
That was the deal—she’d pose as my future wife, and I’d help her finance the extended trip. If I asked her to stay, I’d be dropping my end of the bargain. And more importantly—I’d be asking her to give up her the most important thing in her life for me.
Who the hell knew—maybe she’d say yes. I supposed there was a chance she felt about me the way I felt about her. But could I really do that to her? I’d gotten my dream, and she hadn’t. Could I really let her give that chance up—for me?
Eighteen
Kate
I woke with a smile on my face.
For a moment, I didn’t know where I was, but I was smiling nonetheless. I sat up, clutching a sheet to my chest, and I blinked, taking in the dark furniture surrounding the massive bed. This was Ethan’s bedroom.
Ethan.
He wasn’t here, but just the thought of him made my smile widen. It had been so damn wonderful to be in his arms last night. To be with him. I’d dreamed about that since the moment I met him. I never thought it would come true, but it had, and it was like every cell in my body rejoiced.
Running my fingers through my hair, I wondered how bad it looked. Not that Ethan was here to see it. Where was he? I listened but didn’t hear the shower. Then my eyes fell on the clock. Wow, it was late. I guess he’d let me sleep in, but I really had to get up. The rehearsal dinner was tonight, and I was expected to be at the Grants’ place soon.
My heart sank as the real significance of the day took hold. Today was our last day together. Tonight we’d stage a breakup, and tomorrow I’d be leaving bright and early. Ethan’s and my time together was almost over.
That thought weighed on me as I took a quick shower in his bathroom. Under other circumstances, I would’ve been awed by the dual showerheads that made the water feel like a gentle rain shower with the press of a button. Another button created forceful jets of water that felt like a massage across my back.
After drying off in a fluffy white towel, I walked to Ethan’s closet and put on one of his dress shirts. Sure, I could’ve gone to my room to get my robe, but I liked wearing his shirt. It reminded me of him. Maybe he’d let me keep it. If I couldn’t have him by my side as I toured the world, at least I could have his shirt.
“Ethan?” Calling his name, I ventured down the spiral staircase. There was a scent of some kind coming from the kitchen. Had he cooked breakfast? It wasn’t anything I recognized, though. In truth, it wasn’t a great smell, but if he’d taken the time to make something for me, then I wasn’t going to let him know that.
“Where are you?”
The kitchen was empty, the countertops wiped clean, but I located the odor. Inside the trashcan under the sink was a skillet full of a black substance that might possible have been eggs. I fished the skillet out of the trash and filled it with soapy water, leaving it to soak in the sink.
“Ethan?”
Where was he? After our amazing night together, I couldn’t imagine he’d just disappeared. He wasn’t that kind of man—at least I didn’t think he was.
If I could just find him, we could talk. After last night, I was more sure than ever that I didn’t want to let him out of my life. Yes, plans were in motion, both for the breakup and my trip, but still… there had to be something we could do. Some way we could remain a part of each other’s lives. I couldn’t bear the thought of walking away and never seeing him again.
Though we hadn’t talked about it, I’d gotten the impression last night that he felt the same way. But if he did, where was he? Men who wanted to have a relationship didn’t skip out after sex.
Hmm.
Maybe that was all it was to him—just sex.
I opened the fridge and closed it again. I didn’t think I could eat anything at the moment. The smell from the burnt eggs was making me feel sick. Or maybe the butterflies in my stomach had more to do with Ethan’s absence.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t being fair. He had a job to do—he probably had to go into the office for a few hours before the rehearsal dinner tonight. I had slept pretty late.
But then why hadn’t he left a note?
I scanned the counter, but it was bare. As I climbed the spiral stairs again, it dawned on me—maybe he’d sent me a text. I hurried to my room and checked my phone. Nothing.
But then my eyes fell on my desk. There, right next to my travel journal, was a small piece of notebook paper with Ethan’s handwriting on it.
My heart quickened as I snatched it up.
“You look lovely, my dear,” Bridget said. “I’m so glad they left your hair down. It suits you.”
Looking in the mirror at the dressing table, I stared without truly seeing. The hair dresser and makeup person spent over an hour working on my appearance, but I’d barely checked it out. “Ethan prefers it that way,” I said, but then I wondered if it was really true. Had Ethan ever had any feelings for me that were real? I sighed. I would’ve done better if I’d remembered from the start that our arrangement was just a business transaction to him.
“Kate?”
Feeling guilty, I looked up. By tomorrow, Bridget would be cursing my name, but that was no reason to be distant with her now. This might be the last chance we had to talk, just the two of us.
“Are you getting cold feet, dear?”
“Something like that.” I looked at her. She’d said I looked lovely, but so did she. More than beautiful—somehow stately. She was wearing a royal blue dress that suited both her body type and her standing in society. She looked like what she was—a smart, important, upstanding member of the upper class. But I knew her now, and she was so much more. She was also caring, and kind, and loving. And also pretty damn intuitive. She knew something was bothering me.
“It’s going to work out, Kate. It’s normal to feel a little nervous. Any step worth taking can be scary.”
For a moment, all I wanted to do was throw my arms around her and let her hold me. Maybe she’d pat me on the back and tell me it would be all right. I’d never known my grandmothers, and since my mother and I weren’t close, I was long overdue for a hug from someone like Bridget. Even though after tonight she’d be devastated.
“All you can do is open your heart and hope for the best,” she said, and she put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. “That’s all any of us can do.”
“Oh my god, your dress is amazing!” Julie hugged me after placing her coat in the cloakroom.
I glanced down. My dress was simple, but I liked it well enough. Or I had when I’d picked it out. It was made from a silky ivory material, and it wrapped around and tied on one side in front. The neckline was plunging, but it showcased my glass pendant in addition to a fair bit of cleavage. I had on white high-heeled sandals. No need to save my feet since tomorrow I’d be wearing comfortable shoes for travel. “Yeah, it’s okay.”
“Just okay? It’s gorgeous.”
“You should see how the wedding dress turned out.” She’d seen it, once before at one of the fittings, but she hadn’t seen it now that it was completely finished. No one had—and no one ever would. Sadly, I wondered what would become of it.
Before Julie could say anything, Dan appeared with two glasses of champagne. Julie took both of him and thanked him.
“Where are we going?” Dan asked as Julie led me away.
“You are going to mingle with th
e guests. But keep track of the time—you and Kate should be in the cloakroom by eight. Ethan will make sure his grandparents are nearby shortly after that. For right now, though, it’s time for some girl talk.”
“What’s up? Are you okay?” Dan scrutinized me for a long moment. Sometimes I forgot that he knew me almost as well as Julie did.
“I’m fine,” I said, mustering a smile. It seemed like I’d worn several dozen fake smiles tonight. The last real one had been this morning when I’d woken up in Ethan’s bed.
“Sorry, Dan, X-chromosomes only,” Julie told him firmly. He grumbled, but walked away when she shooed him off.
She pulled me into a small parlor off the main entryway, made me sit on a couch, and handed me one of the glasses. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
A small laugh escaped my lips. “Maybe I should just tell you what’s right—that’s a much shorter list.”
“Okay, what’s right?”
“This dress. That’s the only thing that’s good right now.”
Julie sat down next to me and took my hand. “You know that’s not true. We’re leaving for our trip in twelve hours. It’s finally here.” The excitement in her voice felt alien to me. I knew I should, but I just couldn’t bring myself to feel the same way.
“I know.”
Julie shook her head, frowning at me. “You sound like you’re having root canal tomorrow. Is it Ethan?”
“Yes.” There was no point in lying—she’d know. But I didn’t have to volunteer the information that we’d slept together last night. It was more than obvious now that that had been a mistake.
“Are you going to miss him?”
That was the understatement of the year. Even if he didn’t have feelings for me, I still had them for him. I tried to explain it to Julie. “It’s like… suddenly you look at someone, a friend, and you see him in a different light. You see… possibilities that you didn’t see before. And your mind starts kind of recalibrating your life, your future, to include him. Do you know what I mean?”
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