“Ah. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. I’m not healed as much as I’d be if things had gone smoothly, but that’s okay. It’s enough for me to remember our evening without so much pain I can’t function.”
“I was going to offer to let you change during our morning sex tomorrow. I wish you’d trusted me to make sure you’re okay.”
His words were like a knife through my heart. He’d had a plan, and I’d messed it up. I’d messed up our aftercare, too, because now I didn’t need to be taken care of and attended to while I was in a sex-induced sleepy haze.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, D. I messed up our evening.”
He pulled me into a hug. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I wanted to remove the bands but I wasn’t sure if your swan would realize I was trying to help, and I worried she’d hurt herself worse if I came at them.”
I bent and straightened my arms, rotated my wrists, opened and closed my fist, and finally wiggled my fingers. “I’m fine. The bands didn’t break any bones, they just fucked with the tendons that open and close them. Everything healed when it reformed. There’s no pain.”
“Well, I have to say that having a woman’s cunt squeeze around you as it comes off you because it’s shrinking down into something tiny is an experience — one I won’t mind repeating, but preferably when you aren’t in bondage.” He took a breath. “And the energy. I felt you pulling on our joined union. It was a like a battery that fueled your change. It makes sense, but I had no idea that’s why you needed the double orgasm — why we have to come together.”
He wasn’t the first to like it. Able had rarely allowed even his inner circle to experience it. Before Sophia had negotiated better terms for me, when Able could still whore me out, he charged ten times as much to take the chain off so I could change when the john and I came together. He only allowed it when he or one of his most trusted lieutenants was present, though. He wanted to make sure no one hurt me or messed with me in swan form. After she negotiated terms, he’d occasionally allow it for someone in his inner circle as a birthday present, or as a reward for a job well done.
Dementor didn’t need to know any of that, though. I picked up a few broken feathers from the bed. “I made a mess. I’ll collect them and throw them away. I’m sorry.”
He put his hand on my arm. “We’ll do it together, but I don’t want to throw them away.”
I rolled my eyes, but handed the ones I collected to him once we had them all. He went to the kitchen, got a tall glass from the cabinet, and slid them into it, so they looked a little like a flower arrangement.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“They’re beautiful, but they’re also a reminder that things don’t always go as planned, and people can get hurt quickly if you don’t communicate.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”
Chapter Twelve
Dementor
I was sorry she hadn’t trusted me, too, but I didn’t want to focus on it so I pulled her into a hug and then kissed her on top of the head and walked her into the kitchen. “I can quick-defrost some steaks, or I have frozen hamburger patties I can cook as is. I have bacon in the fridge, and eggs, and a tube-thing of biscuits.”
“You get started on the bacon, and I’ll cook the eggs. Do you have frozen waffles and maple syrup? I’d rather have those than biscuits and gravy.”
I didn’t, but I knew who would. I lifted my phone and called Daffodil. “I’ll give you a twenty dollar bill if you’ll bring me a box of frozen waffles and a bottle of real maple syrup.”
“Thirty if you want the real stuff, but it’s only about half a bottle. I have a box of waffles I haven’t opened yet. Has eighteen in it.”
“Sold. How soon can you walk it over?”
“Be there in three minutes.”
I heard her footsteps approaching, and I set the bacon off the eye, got the cash from my wallet, and opened the door as she neared. I exchanged the money for the food, thanked her, and closed the door without inviting her in — though I watched her walk back to her apartment through the window.
I returned to the kitchen and put the waffles on a tray and in the preheated oven. As I circled back to the stove, I smelled annoyance from Ember. I turned and met her gaze, and she looked more than merely annoyed.
“You’re pissed. Why?”
“One of the girls ya’ll pass around? Really?”
“She talks about eating waffles and maple syrup for breakfast. I knew she’d have some.”
“Because you’re so close to her.”
Total deadpan voice. No anger. No emotion, but her scent told me how upset she was. I didn’t understand why she was upset. “She’s a sweetbutt and she lives in the complex. She had what we wanted. I don’t understand the problem.”
“How many times have you fucked her?”
“You’re jealous?”
“I wasn’t last night while I watched her fuck and blow biker after biker, but you knew her phone number, and she knows where you live without having to ask.”
I set everything to the side and sat in a chair. I’m more than a foot taller than Ember, and it felt like we needed to be on the same level for this conversation.
“I’ve fucked her more times than I can count. At the clubhouse, in my apartment, in Clean’s apartment, and I’m pretty sure Squatch and I doubleteamed her in his apartment after we sent her on a beer run, though now that I think about it, it might have been me and Gears. But she’s a sweetbutt. It doesn’t mean anything. She hangs around because she wants to be fucked and used. I know a little about her because I hear her talking to other people, but she and I haven’t had more than maybe a half-dozen conversations. She’s never slept over here. I fuck her and send her back to her apartment. McGyver put everyone’s phone numbers into our phones when he got them from us and updated the software.”
She glared at me.
“You’re different, Ember. She doesn’t mean anything to me.” I breathed in again, analyzed her scent, and tried again. “I haven’t fucked anyone since I first fucked you. Bears aren’t monogamous, but I haven’t been interested. I could’ve this morning at breakfast. Everyone fucked someone except me and Mad Dog, and a few brothers noticed. It’s part of why they know how serious I am about you.”
Finally, her scent changed. She wasn’t as upset.
Her eyes closed a few seconds and when she opened them, her expression was completely different. “I’m sorry. I’m hungry and tired and apparently being a little irrational. I have no right to get upset with you for fucking other women. We haven’t agreed not to see other people. Let’s fix the food before my low blood sugar makes me do something else totally asinine.”
I moved the bacon back on the eye and turned it.
“It was the familiarity that hit me wrong. She’d been here before. You didn’t have to look up her number. It seemed handy on your phone. I’m sorry I made it about you fucking her.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I went batshit bitchy about the familiarity, too.”
“I accept your apology. In the interests of total honesty, you should know two of the sweetbutts work at Blaze. I see them strip. I frequently stand guard while they do lapdances, and sometimes more, with customers. Before I met you, I fucked them several times a week. I know them better than the other girls, but there’s nothing romantic.”
“And if you and I become a thing, I’ll have to be okay with all that?”
“Except me fucking them.” At one point I’d have offered not to fuck them if she had a problem with it, but she was clearly going to have a problem with it.
She added cheese to the scrambled eggs and kept stirring. I tried to think things through.
“Able saw whoever he wanted. You had no say in who he fucked or who he dated. Who he spent time with.”
She didn’t respond.
“You’ll be the number one woman in my life if we try to make this work.”
“Okay. I believe you.” She got two plates and divided the eggs bet
ween them. She carried them both to the table, and returned for silverware — all without looking my direction. “I thought I’d worked through that shit. Apparently not. I feel a little silly.”
“Sit and get started on the eggs. You changed twice, and I can sense your hunger.”
I thought everything went okay after that. She ate the waffles with lots of syrup, and nearly two pounds of bacon all by herself. I only had a few pieces because I wanted to be sure she had plenty to eat. I hadn’t intended to eat again, so I was good.
I’d given her one of my shirts to wear while we cooked, and I slid loose shorts and a t-shirt on. Frying bacon and bare skin isn’t fun, no matter how fast you heal. I stripped down before we got into bed, but she kept my shirt on. Part of me wanted to tell her to take it off, but I decided not to say anything. She smelled like me in my shirt, so it was okay.
She told me when she needed up, and I set the alarm on my phone for thirty minutes earlier. We were still having morning sex, even if she didn’t need to change and heal.
Ember
My eyes flew open when his alarm went off. I reached for my phone on the end table, squinted to see it without blinding myself because the brightness was turned up, and realized I had another half hour to sleep. I put my phone back and closed my eyes as my head sank back into the pillow.
But then his hand was on my butt, massaging it, and it felt soooo good. Before I knew it, his fingers were inside me and I was humping them, and then his cock was in my ass while his fingers were in my cunt, and he must’ve given me a dozen orgasms before my alarm went off thirty minutes later. He shut it off without slowing, and within moments we both came together in another reality shattering release. While I caught my breath, he rolled us both on our sides and situated me in front of him, tucked into the curve of his body.
“I’m sure my brain will still be fully scrambled when I make it to my Ethics in Criminal Justice class, but it’ll be totally worth it.”
“I’ll bring coffee to the bathroom while you get ready, and I’ll have more for you when you come to breakfast.”
He’d quickly learned I like my coffee super sweet with chocolate syrup and lots of cream. I don’t know who decided bad-asses are supposed to drink their coffee black without the good stuff, but they need to have their bad little ass kicked.
I wanted to tell him I loved that he spoiled me, but I didn’t because it also scared the fuck out of me. What if I got used to it and then he decided I could sit home while he did something with one of the club’s dancers?
Or what if he only liked me as a swan and wasn’t interested in a relationship with a dragon?
No. I didn’t need to get used to being spoiled.
I rolled off the bed, landed on my feet, and headed for the shower. I needed to clear my head and figure out what to say to him over breakfast.
Dementor
I wanted to kick myself for not going to the grocery store. I knew she’d be sleeping over, but I have a ton of food put away and I’m never low. I should’ve made a quick trip for chocolate syrup and waffles and cinnamon rolls and maybe some cookies. I found the powder you use to make chocolate milk in the back of my cupboard, and I had whole milk in my fridge. It wasn’t syrup and cream, but I added a ton of sugar and thought it wasn’t half bad. I buy really good coffee, so at least we were starting with a good base.
I had bread and eggs, and we still had maple syrup, so I made French toast, bacon, steaks, and fried eggs. I did the toast last, so I could take it off the griddle and set them in front of her when she came to the kitchen. I had the eggs frying in a pan at the same time, and I put those on the plates and took my seat across from her.
We ate in silence a few moments, and I was about to try to start a conversation when she said, “I’m not sure this is going to work for me. I mean, it might, but I’m kind of freaking out a little, and with my bitch-fit last night, I’m thinking I need to step back and regroup.”
My heart fell into my stomach, but I tried not to let it show. “If you need space, I’ll give it to you, but I missed you after just two days. I hope you don’t decide you need too much space.”
“I’m thinking at least two weeks. I need to have my shit together so I don’t dump toxic shit on you again.”
“I’m more than willing to work through it with you. I mean, sure, I was confused as fuck last night, but you came out of it pretty fast and explained things, and like you said — you were starving after two changes without food. You aren’t used to that.”
“I enjoyed myself last night, and I like your friends. I like you, a lot, but I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. First off, I don’t really have time for a boyfriend, but mostly, last night showed me that I still have a lot of shit to work through.”
She was a bonafide sex slave for a few months, and then a toy to royalty and his inner circle for years. She’d been taught her value was equal to her ability to please men.
She’d also thought she loved the Owl King, and perhaps she did, but it hadn’t been a healthy relationship for her, and we weren’t fully a year after the battle yet. So yeah, it was possible she truly did need a little more time before she was ready for a long-term, healthy relationship.
I got it, but I didn’t like it.
“Can we find a way to keep in touch without it being serious? Regular texts so we stay caught up with each other, maybe I can come to your matches every once in a while, and perhaps we can have dinner once a week, or maybe every other week?”
She took a few bites, considering. “Two weeks with no contact, and then let’s have that conversation.” She took a breath. “Don’t feel like you have to be celibate. I fully intend to try a few Doms out during this time. I need to know how I react to different men.”
“You know Doms you can call up and order to give you a scene?”
She rolled her eyes. “I know Doms I can call and ask to give me one. Able took me to an elite private club in Montgomery. It won’t be hard for me to contact a few of the guys with trustworthy reputations.”
“Supernaturals?”
When she nodded, I told her, “Talk to either Aaron or Sophia before you do anything. Don’t walk into that place alone. It isn’t safe. The vampires will mindfuck you and you won’t even know why you’re a slave again. You need protection before you approach them. Don’t even do it over social media.”
“I don’t think Sophia will understand. I’ll talk to Aaron.”
“Good. Whatever exploration you need to do, I need you to be safe.”
Chapter Thirteen
Dementor
I texted her two weeks and two days later. I wanted her to contact me, but when she didn’t, I had to try.
She texted back the next day that she was out of town for a match and she’d text me in a few days.
But she didn’t.
And I didn’t text her again.
I’d tried. The ball was in her court.
Meanwhile, I fucked everything that moved, trying to get my mind off her, but it only made me miss her more.
The sweetbutts don’t mind a little light spanking, but they aren’t into the heavy shit. We seriously needed better girls, but we only have the ones who show up and want to hang out. It isn’t like we recruit them.
I wasn’t terribly attached to the ones who were killed when our old clubhouse burned, but I missed a few of them.
I worked Blaze in the evenings, and helped Frost out during the day here and there when he needed more warm bodies. A client paid him to demolish a building and build something new, and I walked through the old building with Frost to tell the homeless who were squatting in it that they’d have to leave. We offered to help them move to a shelter, but most told us they’d be gone by the following night. A few tried to fight us, but only the stupid ones. A woman pulled a gun, but I had it out of her hands before she drew her next breath. Bears are always going to be faster than humans.
We made it to the top of the building, just the two of us, and no
one close enough to hear.
“Tell me what you know about Ember. Shit she might not have told me.”
“Thought ya’ll had called it splits.”
“Temporary. Probably.”
He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, clearly unsure about how wise this was, but he told me anyway. “Her clit had been cut off when I used her once. Dad said they would let her change in a few days so it would come back. Another time, they cut the skin around it off and didn’t let her change for three months. Her clit was damned sensitive without the protective layer around it. So much fun to torture. Oh, and once her pussy was sewed closed, so you could only use her ass. The whole thing, top to bottom. I think Dad said her clit had been cut off, too, but her lips were stitched up over it so you couldn’t see. Looked like it’d been done a while.”
I stared at him. Speechless. “And you fucked her, knowing they treated her like that?”
“She got off. Well, she didn’t the time I fucked her ass when her pussy was sewn closed, but the other times, she seemed to get off on being modified. I knew she was twisted, so I figured it was just the next step in whatever kink they were playing.”
I shook my head and sat on the raised edge of the roof, dangling my feet off the side. “She said she had baggage she needed to work through before she could be in a healthy relationship.”
“Fuck, brother. She wasn’t joking.”
“Anything else?”
He sat beside me. “She was a statue once, at a party. She was posed on a pedestal when we got there. Bandages wrapped around her. I guess they’d been soaked in something that hardened when it dried. Her tits and pussy were bare, and part of her ass, but the bandages covered most everything else. They had dildoes and vibrators and clamps and shit laid out, with a sign saying to feel free to use any of the tools you wanted in her cunt, ass, or on her nipples. Her cunt and asshole were about as high as my shoulders, so it was easy to play with her. She had a full face hood on, so she couldn’t see anything and no one could use her mouth. After the party, they let those of us still around have a piece of her. I guess maybe a dozen of us? Two at a time, at first. A few people went back for seconds.”
Dementor (Rolling Thunder MC Birmingham Book 1) Page 10