No Regrets

by Vivian Ward

  It was a cool fall evening, right before we had our first frost of the year. I had been down a righteous path of self-destruction and was sleeping on the streets. It was the beginning of October, and I’d been drinking non-stop when I finally found a park bench to pass out on. The alcohol betrayed my body by allowing me to think it was much warmer outside than it was, so I was oblivious as to how cold it was.

  At some point during my sleep, the effects of the alcohol wore off, and I began to get cold. I vaguely remember waking up, shivering as I curled into a ball while I slept. I hadn’t been asleep very long when I started to get nice and warm; comfortable—but only for a second. Within a couple of minutes, I woke up still in a hungover daze and all I could see was bright orange flames as my clothes were set ablaze.

  I jumped off the bench and without thinking, I took off running. Everyone knows that you’re supposed to stop, drop and roll—hell they teach that to kindergartners—but my mind was fuzzy. Eyewitnesses driving by called 911 and sent help. Running around with my torso on fire, someone tackled me. We rolled around, wrestling in the grass before I realized that it was a fireman with a flame-retardant blanket.

  There was a group of juveniles who were passing through the park that had seen me sleeping on the bench. Apparently, they had dared each other to set me on fire while I was passed out. The cops found the boys hiding in park bushes when they searched the area to see who might have done it. The youngest of the three confessed, and they were all sentenced to community service. A slap on the wrists if you ask me.

  I’m the one who has to walk around with these scars that remind me that the past is real. Every. Single. Time. I look in the mirror; my scarred torso helps me remember that I’ve come so far, but it doesn’t make my past any better. I was in a dark place, but with the help of my brothers in the fire department, I got back on the right track. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today—and I might not have ever run into Stephanie again.

  “Grab the gurney and the plastic oxygen mask,” our chief barked as we pulled in front of the house.

  I was the first one at the door of the residence. Banging with my fist, I yelled, “Memphis Fire Department!” I reached for the doorknob but stopped dead in my tracks.

  Even with my adrenaline pumping and my attention focused on the kid who was choking, I was taken aback when Lance ripped the door open. My eyes bulged as I realized I was standing face to face with a man that hated my guts, a man who suspected that I was dating his sister and the man who was caring for her son. I pushed past him without a word and immediately started working on Andrew.

  Sweeping his mouth with my finger, I knew that the piece of meat was lodged farther down his throat than I had hoped because I didn’t feel it. I wrapped my arms around his waist and began doing the Heimlich maneuver on him. After several hard thrusts, the food was still lodged in his throat. My brother, Byron, brought a mechanical suction aid that we worked together with and eventually suctioned the hot dog out of his air passageway.

  “Are you all right, Andrew?” I asked him once he was breathing again. He shook his head no as he continued holding his throat. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

  “It hurts,” he whispered as his big, brown eyes peered up at everyone who was gathered around him. God, they look just like his mother’s.

  “Yeah, I’d imagine it does,” I put my hand on his shoulder, “but it will go away. The burning and pain, that is.” I looked up at Lance, but he had on his poker face. “It’s a good thing your uncle called for help when he did. You have to chew your food more, okay?”

  He nodded, “Yes, sir.”

  Our Fire Chief, Paul Butler, was talking to Lance in the kitchen while he filled out a report of the call. It felt strange being in his house knowing that he was on to Stephanie and me, but at the same time, I was glad to be there. I was glad that I was the one who saved him and liked being able to see where they were living.

  “Excuse me,” I knocked on the door frame of the kitchen to grab their attention. “Paramedics have arrived. Would you like him to go to the hospital to get checked out?”

  “No,” Lance answered. My head could have been on fire, but he would have never known because I couldn’t get him to look up at me if my life depended on it.

  “I’ll let them know.” I looked at Paul, “Chief?”

  “Hm?” he answered, still filling out the report.

  “We’re going to go ahead and—” Stephanie ran into the house, shrieking as she rushed over to Andrew.

  “Oh my God! What happened?” she inspected his body as she looked him up and down. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded as she put him in a bear hug and pressed his small body up against hers. Watching him cling to her was the most precious thing I have ever seen. Lance walked into the living room where they were and began telling her what happened. As he concluded his story, he looked over at me.

  “And he saved Andrew.”

  Stephanie looked on in shock as she realized that I was in the house with her brother and son, but she was too focused on him to worry about that. “Oh, Drew! I’m so glad you’re okay!” She hugged him one more time for good measure. “Breezy called me and said she saw fire trucks rushing to your house. I was worried that your house was on fire!”

  “Pfft, I wished she would mind her damned business. I hate having nosy neighbors.” He pushed through the crowd of firemen in the living room, “I’m out of here. I’ll see you later.”

  On our way back to the fire station, Chief smiled at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “That situation back there, it was awkward. Is that the girl I’ve heard about?”

  What? How in the hell does he know? I swear Zack and Byron have the biggest mouths. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I suppose that’s her.”

  “You handled yourself well back there.” He leaned forward, motioning for me to meet him half way. “That’s the type of thing a fire captain would do,” he winked at me with a beaming smile. “Remaining as professional as you did. I’m proud of you, son.”

  “Thanks, Chief. That means a lot coming from you.”

  “Yeah? Well let’s just make sure that we keep thinking with this head,” he pointed to his helmet, “and not the other one.” He cracked up laughing as though he’d heard the most epic joke. I rolled my eyes.

  “Whatever, Chief.”

  * * *

  Stephanie

  Things had been rough, but I was determined to keep on keepin’ on. My parents had always taught me to be a fighter, and that’s exactly what I was doing. No matter what happened, I was damn sure that Andrew and I would have a good future because I knew I had it within myself to climb to the top. Thanks to my social worker, I had a new set of job skills that I hadn’t recently possessed and with the career center helping me with my resume, it looked stunning.

  Mother’s Day was coming up, and Susan wanted to do something special for our women’s support group, so she created small care packages for everyone. They weren’t anything extravagant, but they had relaxation crystals, bath salts, a scented candle, and samples of perfume that she had gotten from the mall. Apparently, one of her nieces worked at the perfume counter, and she was able to score samples of perfume for us. I was heading to my women’s support group meeting a little early to help Susan set up our room when my cell phone started to ring.

  I looked down at my phone screen and started to ignore the call since I didn’t recognize the number, but thought better of it. Maybe it’s another company wanting to set up a job interview. I quickly pulled the car over so that I could concentrate on the phone call without the risk of rear-ending someone.

  “Hello, this is Stephanie,” I answered the phone in my most professional voice.

  “Hello, Stephanie. This is Janet from Mason Data Services. Is this a good time?”

  Mason Data Services? I already went on an interview with them. “Yes,” I said, my voice a little too eager, too high pitched. I immediately rolled my
eyes at myself and thought I already blew it.

  “Very well. Stephanie, I would like to extend a job offer to you with our company if you’re still interested. Does this sound like something you would like to discuss?”

  “Oh, yes. Absolutely,” I gloated. I knew I had done well during the interview, but having them call me swelled my ego.

  “Great. The starting pay is eleven dollars per hour, and it is a full-time position. We have an opening on our day shift. The starting time would be 7 AM, and you would work until 3:30 PM because you are docked 30 minutes for your lunch break. After your 90-day probation period, we will evaluate your work, and at that time, you may earn up to an additional three dollars per hour.”

  “That sounds wonderful!”

  “Would you be able to start tomorrow? I realize that it’s short notice, but we are very short staffed. We would like to give you a couple of days’ worth of training this week so you can start fresh next week. The training isn’t too hard, and I think you will be able to catch on fairly quickly.”

  “Tomorrow?” Shit. I don’t know if I can get a sitter for tomorrow. “Sure! That will be great.” I slapped my forehead. Why do I always put my foot in my mouth?

  “Perfect! Report to me when you come in so I can get your new hire paperwork started, and then I’ll introduce you to Kyle Millhouse. He’ll be your supervisor.”

  “Oh, thank you so much, Janet! You have no idea how grateful I am for this opportunity. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

  I couldn’t wait to get to church to tell Susan about it. There was no point in calling her since I would be there in less than three minutes. I could see the church building from the red light that I was sitting at. My biggest problem was going to be finding a babysitter for Andrew on such short notice. Hopefully, one of my parents would be able to watch him for me so I wouldn’t have to pay someone. Even though I had been living with my brother, money was still tight because I was helping him out with his bills since we were there using his water, electricity and eating his food.

  “Susan,” I shouted down the hall as she struggled to open the door, carrying a large box filled with all of the gift bags. “Let me get that. I have some news for you,” I sang.

  “You’re in an awfully good mood. What’s going on?”

  “Mason Data Services called and offered me a job! I get to start tomorrow, and the starting pay is eleven and hour, and after 90 days, I can get a raise!” I swooned.

  “That’s awesome! I’m proud of you.” She handed me some of the gift bags to start placing at seats. “How’s everything on the home front? You and your brother still getting along? How’s Andrew? Matt? Tell me everything. I haven’t heard from you since late last week.”

  “Girl, I don’t even want to talk about it for real. Things are such a mess right now. Lance heard about me seeing Matt, so things have been a little tense between us because I denied everything. As far as Matt goes, I’m not sure what’s going on. We hung out once, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot. I guess you could say things are just kind of up in the air between us.”

  “You need to talk to Matt and find out what’s going on. You’re not going to be able to move forward in your life unless you know where the two of you stand. There’s no way you can move in either direction, ya know?”

  “I know,” I agreed as a few of the ladies started walking in.

  My first day of work was great. Janet helped me fill out all of my paperwork and went over the insurance forms with me—that was something she had forgotten to tell me about on the phone. After 30 days, Andrew and I will have full coverage insurance. I didn’t think this was going to be my dream job, but it’s turning out to be exactly that. My new boss, Kyle Millhouse, is a sweetheart. Super nice guy who doesn’t mind showing you what to do twice if you need him to and is always there to answer questions. I could see myself working for MDS for a long while.

  I called Matt after work to tell him how my first day went, but he had a surprise of his own.

  “How about you let me take you out to dinner tonight to celebrate?” he asked.

  “Are you asking me on a date? Like an official date?”

  “Yes, ma’am. If you’re good, I might even play the guitar for you like I used to,” he teased.

  “I don’t know. It was like pulling teeth to get my parents to babysit for me today. I doubt I could ask them to keep him longer, and I’m sure as hell not going to ask my brother. He’ll get more suspicious of us.”

  “What about your friend Susan? You two seem like best friends. I’m sure she’ll watch him for a couple of hours while I take you out to dinner, won’t she?”

  I sighed. He was right, and we both knew it. “I’ll call and ask her.”

  Chapter 11

  Matt

  After Stephanie had dropped Andrew off at Susan’s house, she met me at the library. It had been ages since I had been in one, but I wanted to study up on some of the latest fire technology if I was going to interview for that promotion. There would be nothing worse than sitting before my superiors and not having the correct answers during the interview. Not only would it be embarrassing, but it would also be a disgrace to my fire department. I checked out my books and studied in my truck until she pulled up next to me and got in.

  “You look nice,” I said, noticing her cute turquoise scarf and her perfect makeup.

  “Thanks,” she smiled. “You don’t look half bad, either.”

  I winked at her as I put the truck in gear and backed out of the parking space. I had made dinner arrangements at a restaurant where I had booked our reservations. We had gone there once before when we were younger when I learned that Mountainside University had accepted me into their engineering program. Before I got on the Highway 240, I realized that I needed gas if we were going to make it there.

  “Shit,” I mumbled.

  “What?”

  “I forgot to gas up earlier. I meant to do it, but I forgot. We’ll have to stop by the gas station before we go.”

  “That’s fine by me. I’m dying of thirst and could use a drink.”

  While I was filling up the truck, she went inside to get herself a drink. I’m not sure what she was doing in there, maybe making the syrup for the soda machine or something, but I decided to have a little fun with her. I had filled up my 36-gallon gas tank, and she still hadn’t come back to the truck, so I got in and started it up while I was waiting for her. A few moments later, she walked outside with a soda in her hand, wearing a candid smile. I smiled back at her as I pulled near the front door to pick her up.

  She grinned as I pulled the truck right in front of her, like a true gentleman. I held up my finger, signaling to wait, as I unlocked the door for her. She tilted her sweet little face to the side as she realized how thoughtful I was being. I sat up, smiled and waited. As soon as she reached for the door handle, I gassed it and shot forward. She looked at me with a side eye and walked a few feet up to the cab and reached for the handle again. This time, I gunned it and shot forward about ten feet.

  Everyone in the parking lot was watching, and all she could do was bust up laughing. I looked in the rear view mirror as she buckled over in laughter, holding her gut as she laughed and laughed. Waiting for her, she finally started walking toward the door of the truck, laughing in anticipation that I might do it again. I didn’t disappoint. I gassed it again, this time only lurching up a few feet. She was dying of laughter with tears trickling from her eyes. Sure that she might piss her pants, I finally waved her on and told her to get in.

  “You’re a funny man, aren’t you?” she said, still laughing.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I laughed with her.

  “Oh, I haven’t had this much fun on a date in a long time. It’s nice just being silly every once in a while, but don’t worry. I will owe you one for that, Nicholas Edward White.”

  “Call me by my full name again and I’ll pay you back twice as bad.”

  “Aw, what’s Matt E. W
hite gonna do?” she mocked me. She knew how much I hated my middle initial because it made my name sound like it was Matty White.

  “I’ll spank that ass. That’s what I’ll do,” I cocked my eyebrow letting her know that I was being a pervert.

  “Mhmm, you talk a good game.”

  Once we arrived at Houston’s restaurant, I went into full gentleman mode, opening doors, pulling out chairs, ordering champagne, the whole nine yards. As she told me all about her new job, I watched her eyes twinkle and listened to the pride in her voice. She was doing well for herself, and I was proud of her. She’s always been a strong, independent woman. As I listened to her go on, I couldn’t help but notice her full, plump lips. It took everything I had not to reach across the table, grab her and kiss her. My mind kept wandering off, back to the night we kissed in my truck during the storm.

  “Are you listening to me, Matt?” she asked.

  “Of course.” I reached across the table and took her hand into mine. “Go on. I want to hear more about your day.”

  “Actually, I want to ask you a question.” I raised my eyebrows, anticipating what she had to say. “What are we doing? I mean, what do you expect out of this because I need to know up front. I have a son who comes before anyone—including myself.”

  “Stephanie, I decided years ago that you were the one for me, and that has never changed. This heart,” I raised her hand to my chest, “it beats for you. My mind only thinks about you and my eyes only adore you. I want you. I want us to work, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’ll face your family, stand up for you—stand up for us—and I’ll take care of Andrew as if he were my own son. Not that I would try to replace his dad, but I will treat him very, very well.”