Then, he hugged her. “Thanks, you horrible shrew. Thank you for not getting me killed.”
There was that crack of emotion in his voice.
With that, he walked out.
Callen headed over as Ethan closed the door. “It looks like Cupid didn’t hit the right targets,” he admitted
Ethan stared at her. “What did you do?”
“Blue,” they said together.
He sighed. “You realize you’re going to have to break in a new guy, and you’re going to hate that.”
Shit!
He was right.
“Give me until morning.”
“What?” he asked, as he already began sending the email for a new security guy.
“If you don’t, think of how hellish it’s going to be. I need a couple hours.”
“Elizabeth.”
“You didn’t let me boot that shrew ME around. Let me try to fix this. I know how.”
“How?” Ethan and Callen both said.
She pulled on her boots.
That was easy.
“With love.”
Chapter Eleven
W hen Blue got back to her room, she didn’t stop at Ivan’s. Instead, she went in to hers to think. As she turned around, she actually screeched and jumped. There, lounging on her bed, was Elizabeth. Blue had no freaking clue why she was there either.
She really wanted to be alone.
“Before you say anything, just listen,” Elizabeth stated.
Blue sat.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and my security guy, but you need to fix it. He’s leaving my team, and I just broke him in. Igor the Terrible is like my favorite pair of boots. He’s reliable, comfortable, and allows me to be me.”
Elizabeth sat up.
“What happened?”
She told her everything.
From the games that he played to the bartender downstairs. Blue left nothing out.
“What do I do?”
“Well, you do the only thing you can do, Blue. You either like him enough to fight, or you are ambivalent enough to let him walk. That’s it.”
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“What does your heart say?”
“It’s telling me to protect his. Stop worrying about my own issues, and go see him.”
Well, that proved the woman wasn’t as socially inept as she claimed to be.
She was pretty good at figuring things out.
Blue was on track. She just needed a little push from Cupid.
“But what if he pushes me away? He said he can’t be fixed.”
She stared at her. “You’re a doctor. Who better to heal the wounded?”
She never thought about it like that.
“He needs TLC.”
“How do I do that?”
“You go across the hall, you knock on the door, and you put your brain away. See, the problem with smart people is they are too smart. They analyze. They over think. They make it a huge mess when they think.”
“You don’t.”
“I didn’t claim to be smart. I had my ass kicked by the school of not learning quick enough. I was once like you. Life kicked me in the balls.”
“He hurt me.”
It was time to play momma bird.
“Let me tell you a story. When I was first starting out, I met this guy. He was geeky, smart, and sexy.”
“Okay.”
“We started the whole friends with bennies thing.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“Booty calls.”
She shook her head still not sure what she was talking about.
“We’d have sex when we had nothing better to do or one of us was horny.”
“Okay. I got it.”
“We did that for a few months. Then, all of the sudden, something changed. I stopped seeing him as a booty call. I saw him as…mine.”
She listened.
“Well, fast forward ten years. We were still a couple.”
She stopped her.
“You were a couple for ten years and you never got married?”
She laughed. “Nope. We were young and focused on our careers.”
“Then what happened?”
“He cheated on me. I threw him a huge surprise birthday party. He told me he had to work late, and not to expect him. He’d crash at his place.”
“Okay.”
“So, I threw the party at his place. Well, he came home but he wasn’t alone. He thought I was cheating on him, so he went out, picked up a girl, and walked into his surprise party with thirty of our closest peers and friends and this woman’s hand down his pants, jerking him off.”
She stared. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah, you could say that. Anyway, I snuck out the back, went home, and began licking my wounds. See, I don’t trust easily, and he broke it.”
“Did you kill him?”
“No.”
“Did you hire someone to bury the body?”
“No. I forgave him. It took some time, but I mustered up the strength to realize that when someone hurts you, the chances are they’re hurting too.”
“Was he?”
“Yes. He was jealous and teaching me a lesson. Anger makes you do stupid shit.”
That sounded familiar.
“Where is he now?”
“You work with him. Doctor Christopher Leonard is his name, and being my best friend is his game. I forgave. I forgot, and it led me to a beautiful life.”
She mulled it over.
“He hurt you, but what if getting past that means finding what’s meant to be yours? What if he can’t find his happiness because you’re the key to the lock?”
She stood.
“Okay. I’m going to go see him.”
“You’ll have to hurry. He’s leaving.”
She headed out, Elizabeth behind her.
She stopped. “Thank you for that.”
“It’s okay. Sometimes, we all need a friend to lead the way.”
Emotion filled her eyes.
“Yeah, we do.”
She headed down the hall and around the corner.
As soon as she was gone, Blue knocked.
He opened the door, not even looking to see who it was. As soon as he did, she stepped in.
“You’re not leaving.”
It caught him off guard.
“I forgive you. I also want you to know I’m not Cara. I wouldn’t do that to you because I imagine it would suck to have it done to me.”
He listened.
“You’re not damaged. You’re perfectly fine, Ivan. You’re a whole man who has been living in that one moment, letting it reloop. The only way you’re going to get past it is if you trust again.”
She touched his cheek.
“I trust you. I let you lower me into that pit, and never once did I think you’d drop me. I knew you’d have me. I had faith in you. Maybe I’m not some whirlwind romance you found while you prepared to become a man, but I am still worth it. I’m worthy of your trust. I won’t drop you, Ivan. I’ll never drop you.”
He didn’t know what to say.
Blue moved closer. Gently, she placed her head on his shoulder, and her arms around his waist.
“You don’t feel broken. You feel whole to me. Maybe you just weren’t meant to be with her. Maybe this was supposed to be the path and she was part of the destination.”
She went with something Elizabeth had said.
“Because of that, you found this. Maybe I’m supposed to be the one who puts you back together but not as you were before. Maybe as you’re supposed to be.”
His heart skipped.
When she looked up, she saw the emotion in his eyes.
“Don’t run, Ivan. Stay and fight. Marines don’t run away. They run into the storm.”
She slowly kissed him.
In that moment, his whole world turned upside down. She was pulling him under, offering him solace, and he couldn’t say
no. For so long he was lost, and that one chance glimpse at the one thing that could save him appeared.
She appeared.
Her mouth did battle with his.
Blue knew he’d be a hard fight. Pulling her mouth from his, she stared into his eyes. “I won’t quit. If you run, Ivan, I’ll follow. To me, you’re worth it. You may not see the value, but I found that one person I think can make me whole. I’ll fight to the death for that happiness. I’ve never had it. It’s all I want.”
He’d never felt anything like that.
No one ever wanted him that much. No one wanted to protect him.
“If you go back into the Marines, when you come home, I’ll be sitting on your front porch, waiting for you to start that life. I’ll wait because you’re worth it to me.”
“Blue.”
“It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. Nothing in life that matters is handed to you. You work hard at it. I work hard, Ivan. I will always work hard for the things that matter. Let me be that one person that you believe in.”
And he did.
In that moment, he found that faith that was long gone. In her, this woman ten years younger than him, he found her again.
“You had to hurt for these years because you weren’t on the right path. Now you are. Fight for me, Ivan. God! Fight for me.”
And he did.
He grabbed her and pulled Blue into his body. They crashed together, their mouths refusing to quit.
He was lost in the storm as he tugged her dress from her body, breaking the kiss only for that one moment.
Then they crashed back into each other again.
Blue had his pants unbuttoned.
She shoved them down his hips, trying to free him from his clothes too. As soon as he stepped out of them, she ran her hands down his body and to the bulge in his snug fitting boxer briefs.
He moaned.
“Blue,” he whispered, his hands finding the hook to her bra. When he pulled it free, she tumbled out and into his hands.
Her skin was so soft.
It was so smooth.
He ran his mouth over her neck.
“Stop,” she whispered.
He did.
That was his worst nightmare right there. He was rock hard, and he had to have her. Somehow, he managed.
“What? Did I hurt you?”
“I’m a virgin.”
He stared at her.
“You can laugh. It’s like the pizza thing. I get it. I didn’t find the right guy before.”
“Am I him?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t move.
“Laugh. It’s amusing.”
He lifted her chin. “It’s not amusing, Blue. It’s a special gift, and I’m blessed that you’d share that with me. I’ll never laugh at something like that. It’s precious.”
She touched his cheek.
“Be my first.”
His heart skipped.
“Yes, Blue. Yes.”
Instead of continuing where they left off, Ivan swept her off her feet and into his arms. He carried her to the bed and placed her on it. Then he continued stripping out of his clothes.
She watched him, and it occurred to him that no one ever did that before. She watched him with amazement, or as if she was learning something new that dazzled her.
In that moment, he gave her his trust.
This woman was safety.
Slowly, he began kissing down her body, teasing her ear with his mouth. As she reached for him, her hand found him and began stroking him through his underwear.
“More,” he whispered. “Touch me, Blue. Explore.”
Oh, she wanted that. As her hands moved over his shoulders, he continued to move down her body.
Lower.
Lower.
Even lower.
As he teased around her belly button, Ivan was thrilled that she shook and goose bumps raced across her body.
This was what he wanted.
This reaction.
Through her simple, white panties, he teased that indentation. He couldn’t wait to taste her. Ivan wanted her to enjoy her first time, like he would enjoy being her first.
This was special.
Important.
Theirs.
She moaned as his fingers slipped beneath the material. He found her wet, and he couldn’t wait. He wanted her to get off so many times that she never forgot this moment.
Their moment.
So, with his fingers, he tormented her. He found that little, glossy, swollen bud and focused on it.
With fingers first.
Then mouth.
As his fingers explored her body, she arched into the motion of his hands. As he demanded an orgasm from her, she was helpless to stop.
She came fast.
It was a rush of excitement, followed by an explosion of ecstasy.
She shouted his name.
As she resurfaced, he pulled off her panties.
“More,” he said, diving back in. Her long legs rested over his strong back as he invaded her body.
He took.
He stole.
Ivan raided and pillaged.
She came so many times she couldn’t even focus.
The shudder that ran through her body was met by the shaking of her legs. It told the tale.
It said it all.
As he moved up her body, he tormented her breasts with teeth and tongue.
That relief of orgasm was quickly replaced with need and shaking.
She wanted more.
She wanted him.
“Ivan,” she said, running her hand up his leg. Her fingers touched the scar, and she focused on it. “How did you get hurt?”
“IED,” he said, still focused on her breasts.
He may love them most. They were soft, supple, and he wanted to get lost in them.
“I’m glad you survived,” she said, stroking him again. Blue could feel the difference.
He was rock hard.
“I’m ready,” she said.
He laughed. “Are you now, my sweet Blue?”
He rolled with her, until he was on his back. He wanted her to enjoy this. That meant torture for him, but pleasure for her.
“The best way is if you get accustomed to us fitting together,” he said, pointing at his erection.
Blue tugged his briefs down, and watched him spring free.
“Get my dick really wet, so you don’t hurt.”
Well, that she could do.
Blue took him in her hand and stroked him. He moaned at her touch, and a little drop glistened at the head of his dick. She licked it and then took him in her mouth.
He tried to watch.
Really.
He did, but it was too much. She stroked him with her hand and used her mouth to make him insane. When he was breathing fast, she stopped.
“You’re close, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he muttered. “I need to be in you.”
That sent chills down her spine.
Then he stopped her. “Are you on birth control?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to get a condom?”
Honestly, she really wanted to feel him in her.
“No, I trust you.”
His dick twitched.
“Okay, then do your worst.”
She straddled his hips and took him in her hand. Slowly, she rubbed him through the wetness of her body. The whole time, he shook.
Ivan closed his eyes.
He couldn’t watch.
Blue was pretty damn sexy naked, but manhandling his junk?
He was only human.
As she slid him into her body the first inch, it was a tight fit. Ivan was a large man, and she knew this might hurt.
Slowly, she slid down more and more. When she stopped, he opened his eyes.
“Kiss me, sweetheart,” he said, pulling her down. When her lips touched his, and she was lost in the kiss, he jerked his hips up, sliding all the way in.
She gasped as he fully slid home.
“Shhhh, it’s okay. It’s done.”
She stared down at him.
“Okay. Now what?”
He laughed.
“Now you feel only pleasure,” he said, rolling again, to put her beneath him on the bed.
Then he began moving.
He filled her, and then slid free, watching her face. As she adjusted, her legs, wrapped around his hips, Blue joined the rhythm.
When he felt no tension, no pain, he lifted her up so his arms did all the work.
She gasped and moaned as he pushed her up, only to drop her down.
When her body shook, she knew she was close.
“Please,” she begged. “Make me cum.”
That was music to his ears.
He laid her back on the bed and began invading, taking, destroying.
The walls were down.
In that moment, she was his. Blue was all his, and he’d never give her up.
Never.
He pummeled her body as her nails were buried in his shoulders. There was never a more amazing feeling.
He was free.
As he worked her hard, she came and came again.
Beads of perspiration appeared on his brow.
“Please, Ivan. Please,” she whispered.
He was close.
His body was about to betray him.
As he drove himself into her, so deep they were almost one, he felt her shake for the final time, and he exploded with her.
They both fell, the light, the pleasure, and the ecstasy filling them. As he rested over her, still housed in her body, he took that moment to do something he never did before.
He cuddled.
She sighed, moving into his body.
For a while, neither spoke.
Finally, Blue broke the ice, when she couldn’t stay silent anymore. She went with the obvious.
“You’re still hard.”
He twitched.
“You don’t say?”
“Can I be on top next time?” she asked, running her hands over his shoulders.
“Yes, we can take turns.”
“Good.”
“Do you regret it?” he asked, lifting his head. “Do you wish you didn’t…with me?”
She laughed. “Never.”
“Why?” he asked. “What changed? Clearly, you could have had sex with men before me. You know how to kiss, and that blowjob…”
She silenced him.
“I don’t want to think about them.”
“Why?”
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