‘Grow some patience.’
‘Can’t grow somethin outta nuthin.’
We look at each other and laugh softly. If our chuckles are a bit high-pitched neither of us says anything. We talked about this bit before we left. I am on my own from here, but Rhi will stay close in case I get into trouble.
Turning towards the house I walk off, keeping my head up, making myself walk calmly, calling up all the times I wished for my twin’s confidence, and fake the hell out of it. I know exactly where I am going – Laney told me how she’d climb up onto the chair that Troy had put under his window. After I faked a dry retch I asked if the chair was there before or after they started seeing each other. Then I ran from the mad cow.
Forcing my breath to calm I step into their yard and drop the confidence. Sneaking to the back of the house I almost fall over the chair as I round the corner. Taking a second to test it for strength and any sound, I step up. All the windows are wide open and these ones are sliders so there’s no window pane to duck or manoeuvre around. The moon has gone dark and only the light of the Milky Way guides me. I can see a plain bedroom with a dresser and a bed. Nothing else but the shape lying in it and the fan going full force, pointing at the bed.
One leg goes over before I have time to think. I reach for a firm grip with my slippery hands. I nearly yelp when my foot finds carpet. Pulling myself up and into the room I stand for a long moment, not breathing. When no one screams I release my breath. Turning, I walk as lightly as I can to the bed and stand over it. Staring down.
The idea is to be creepy and scare the crap out of him, but first he has to wake up. I’m contemplating how I am going to do that without actually touching the prick when he jerks awake and stares up at me. His wide open eyes glow in the starlight and I wait.
‘La … Laney?’
I tilt my head to the side so he can see the outline of my face and he gasps.
‘You … you’re okay?’
Shaking my head slowly I lean down to him. He flinches towards the wall at his back and I smile, hoping he can see my teeth.
‘Why?’ I whisper.
‘I’m sorry. Oh God, I’m so sorry, please forgive me,’ he begs.
That pisses me off so I reach out with a hand and he squeaks before I even make contact.
‘Please. It wasn’t my fault! Mum told me ta do it!’
My hand stops about halfway to its target, hovering between us.
‘You left me.’ I don’t have to fake the accusation in my voice.
‘They had you, Lane. There’s no comin back after that. Oh God, what are you?’
I have no more words. He’s just confirmed that he left my big sister and I want to kill him. I’m also deliberately not thinking too hard about it or it’ll distract me from my goal. I can’t ask too many questions or he’ll twig it isn’t Laney asking, but I can scare the shit out of him. I stretch my hand closer and he presses back into the wall, trying to climb through it. I trail one finger down his cheek and he whimpers.
‘It was the necklace. It did something and they came after me, Lane. I couldn’t get rid of em. Mum said I had to pass it on or they’d get me too.’
‘Coward,’ I snarl.
I don’t recognise myself in that moment, I just want to hurt him. I ease my hand down and around his neck, wrapping it softly there. A tangy smell rises from the bed and I take satisfaction in his humiliation.
‘Confess.’
‘I will. I will, I swear I will. First thing, tomorrow I’ll go straight to the cops.’
Tightening my grip a little I growl.
‘Your mum too,’ he squeaks even higher. ‘I’ll go to your mum and tell her where I left you. What I did.’
I lean as close to him as I can and stare at the holes where his eyes should be. His face is turned away from me, refusing to look. My other hand is already reaching for his sheet and I’m praying it doesn’t touch anything wet.
‘You better.’
I let go at the same time I throw his sheet up and over his head. I’m all set to throw myself out the window like Rhi and I practised, but he beats me to it. Sheet wrapped around his head, he leaps sideways, arms and legs flailing in a mad scramble away from me. He clears the door and the last I see is him stumbling over that raggedy sheet, and nearly knocking himself out as he goes round a corner. I almost bust out laughing, but when I hear Ray yelp and Edna scream ‘What the fuck?’, fear wins. I bolt out the window, skinning my shins as I go. Every noise I make is like a car backfiring in my ears, but I can’t force myself to slow down.
I’m almost out of the yard when lights start coming on in the house. They would see me if they look out the window. I give Laney a run for her money on speed then.
Sprinting past the corner, Rhi appears at my right, our arms and legs pumping hard. The breath is already burning in my chest, but fear and fury push me past it. Neither of us speak as we race each other till we hit the first open paddock, and dive into the dirt and grass. We spread ourselves flat, waiting for a car, running feet, anything. Staring into Rhi’s face I can see her wide grin.
That girl is so cracked.
The exit is the weak part of our plan. Having to run and make noise would break the spooky spell so we’d planned a run and hide sprint. Rhi knew about this spot with the perfect little ditch in this field that hid a body laying flat. I’d rolled my eyes at her and didn’t ask, even though she wanted me to.
We lie that way for a long while, looking into each other’s faces. Nothing happens.
‘Where are they?’ I swear Rhi sounds like she’s pouting.
‘Dunno,’ I whisper back. ‘Think it’s been long enough?’
Rhi pokes her head up, scanning around before dropping back.
‘Don’t see anythin.’
As if on cue, we both stand, dusting ourselves off.
‘He must not ave twigged it was you.’
‘He’s probably too busy cleaning his sheets.’
‘Ay?’
‘Pretty sure he pissed imself.’ Does it make me an evil person that I say it with a grin?
Rhi doubles over, stuffing a hand in her mouth to hold back her laughter. I slap her on the back, hard.
‘Come on, that thing between his ears might start workin soon. Let’s get home.’
Rhi camps in my bed and we spend the night arguing over what Troy meant with the weird things he’d whispered. Neither of us expects him to have the balls to turn up and confess in the broad light of day. But that’s okay, we’d only been on a fact-finding mission.
The people after him must somehow have known he’d palmed this necklace off to Laney. Hell, he probably told them. Rhi and I don’t agree on exactly who has Laney, but I ignore Rhi’s arguments and point to the Potters and their neo-Nazi ways as enough bad guys to be facing without having to make up boogie men. Eventually she gives up. We do agree that Rhi is going to talk to Tyrone again, this time alone, to see if he knows more. I ignore her eyebrow wiggle. While she sorts that, I’m going to school to pretend things are as normal as they can be right now. I try to fight her on that one but she won’t budge.
Eventually she falls asleep. I lie awake. Listening.
Day 4, Daylight
I hear Mum moving around in the pre-dawn but don’t get up. Uncle Joe’s and Aunty Mel’s cars pull up at the front and I listen to the murmurs from the kitchen. It is so familiar, and so wrong. I try to keep my mind blank. The lack of sleep is helping.
Mum ducks her head in and blows me a kiss. Aunty Mel looks in at her wayward daughter, shaking her head with a smile and waving before heading off by herself. No one bothers asking why I am awake. The bags under my eyes are almost as bad as theirs. The only upside to not sleeping is no nightmares.
Rhi doesn’t even twitch when I hop up and get ready for school. I walk out the door to the sound of her snoring.
&
nbsp; I ignore my churning guts. I am early again and alone, and it is all wrong.
School is filled with attempts to catch Sam’s eye and trying to figure out how the hell I am going to talk to him without anyone seeing. It might’ve been his normal way of operating, it’s not like we spent much time staring at each other before this week, but there isn’t even a casual glance.
I’m brimming with anxiety, almost dancing in my chair with it. Why won’t Sam look at me? Is he feeling guilty about something? Has he changed his mind? Oh my God, what if he has? What am I going to do? I don’t want to go out to the Potters’ on my own.
My frustration with Sam gets so bad that by the last class I’ve had enough. It’s my free period for distance education study in the library, while all the others have manual arts across the oval.
I’d watched Sam down two bottles of Coke over lunch and I know where he’ll go before making the trek across the oval to manual arts. I crouch at the back of the science building, getting a good view of the toilets. Sam waves at his mates as he makes a beeline for the toilets. I hold my breath to see if any of the boys will follow, but they all go on ahead.
I give him one minute. I time it. Then I break cover and follow him, walking casually.
‘Please be finished and washing your hands,’ I whisper under my breath as I make a last minute detour from the girls’ entrance into the boys’.
‘Oops. Timed it wrong!’
‘Jesus Christ!’ Sam flinches and does a double-take. ‘Get out!’
Since he’s facing away from me, pulling up his shorts and stuffing things back down them, I decide to stay put. I suppose I could turn away, but I’m enjoying his horror way too much.
‘Not until ya tell me what the fuck is goin on.’ I fold my arms and stare at him, pretending I am trying to drill holes in his skull. ‘Why ave ya been dodgin me?’
‘I’m not. Ya havin a paranoid girl delusion, now get out!’ He yells at the wall.
I lean back against the corrugated iron behind me and cross my ankles. I move around a lot to make sure he can hear me.
‘What are ya doin?’
‘Gettin comfortable. There’s only one way out’ve ere so ya may as well just face me.’
‘I. Can’t.’ It’s angry but I can deal with angry.
‘Why not?’ Came my best ‘butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth’ reply. ‘I thought we were a team. Why the change of heart?’
Maybe some of my hurt unintentionally slipped through. Whatever the reason he lets out a big sigh and finally turns.
‘Don’t forget to wash—’ My triumphant crowing cuts off. I’m too busy staring at Sam’s massive black eye. My wide-open trap doesn’t seem to impress him as he marches to the sink to do a quick rinse and then tries to push past me. As he draws parallel I grab his shoulder and pull him around to look at me. ‘Sam?’
I can’t find the words. As much as I consider myself tough, no one has ever hurt me like this, nor would they if they valued their life. My sister, mother, uncle and large extended family would never allow it. Those shards of glass stuck inside my gut dig deeper and I can’t stop the tears from forming. I would never understand an adult hurting their kid, any kid, this way. It is so wrong. But I know who hurt him without even asking and I have a horrible sinking feeling as to why.
‘Sam, please, tell me,’ I plead. His avoidance now makes complete sense.
‘They found out. Someone saw me drive up to the reservoir and you comin down. It’s all bullshit anyway, Tace, don’t worry bout it.’ He tries to push past me again but I hold firm.
‘How can I not worry? I’m the reason ya got hurt.’
‘No.’ He stops trying to push my hand away and turns so he can look me in the eyes. ‘I’m doing this for May. And in some part for you and Laney, but mostly for her. I’m sorry, Tace, but she’s the one I care about.’
I flinch and finally let go. ‘Thanks for the honesty.’ My ego could’ve done without it. ‘Still, if ya hadn’t met me at the reservoir ya wouldn’tve got hurt. Does this mean ya can’t come with me taday?’ I kind of hate myself for how weak and small my voice sounds.
‘No way, I’m comin!’ Sam spits the words and the violent rejection isn’t aimed at me. I could practically taste the rebellion. ‘I promised Aunty that I’d take ya. Do ya think ya can get away?’
‘No problem. They don’t get back from searching till about seven so we got heaps of time.’
‘We can head straight from school. They can’t do much worse.’
I fight another flinch. Sam would hate it if he thought I pitied him.
‘Yeah but no point flauntin it. And besides, just cos your mob know don’t mean mine …’ My voice trails off. If the Millers know it won’t be long till others do too and then someone will tell Mum. Instead of putting me off it urges me to move faster. ‘It has to be today then. I’ll walk around the corner up past the fire station; we’ll have to make it quick.’
He gives me a little salute. ‘Is it okay if I head to class now, Miss?’
I glare and nod.
‘Good. Think you could leave the boys’ toilets then?’
His cheeky grin makes me flush with embarrassment. Damn, I forgot where we are.
‘You go first. If it’s safe for me to come out, tap the wall once softly.’
He walks out with another salute. Not long after the thumping boom of a fist on corrugated iron sends me squealing from the toilet. I slap him on the arm as I bolt past; he’s too busy laughing to notice.
Day 4, Afternoon
I feel stupid sitting in the gutter. I could’ve tried hiding behind one of the scrawny gumtrees along the footpath but don’t see much point. Besides, suspicious behaviour would draw attention a lot faster than just standing here would, so spoke Rhi the queen of sneaky. This way I could jump in the car and Sam could take off as fast as possible. Still, a few people go past having a good look. Fuck this town is full of dorries. I conveniently ignore my own past dorrie-ing behaviour.
I keep second-guessing this whole thing. From where I said to meet down to the whole misadventure. My mind keeps circling back to my twin and getting stuck. I have to find Laney.
‘Waaaa!’ Someone screams right in my ear and fingers dig into my sides sending me up about two metres. I spin and swing, straight at Rhi’s stupid face. I pull the punch just in time and get her on the susoo instead.
‘Argh, ya bitch!’ She doubles over clutching her chest. ‘That hurt.’
‘Well, it wasn’t meant to tickle. Don’t sneak up on a black one or you’ll get what’s comin to ya.’
‘Bloody hell. I just came ta tell ya I talked to Ty.’ She eyes me resentfully, rubbing her hurt susoo.
‘Well, come on then.’
As the last words leave my mouth a beat-up Holden pulls up beside us.
‘Ah fuck!’
Rhi is staring open-mouthed at Toni Miller’s car. Too late. I grab her by the arm and dig my fingernails in. No one realises I have long, hard fingernails because I never really use them or paint them. They also tend to forget that I have my mother’s height and my father’s build, which means height, weight and strength, enough to handle her anyway.
‘Ow, ow, fuckin ow!’
Only Rhi could express pain, anger and get in some swearing in just four words. I fling open the back door and push her straight in. I keep shoving till she slips across giving me space to jump in. I slam the door behind me and look at a shocked Sam.
‘Drive!’
Grabbing Rhi’s head, and a whole lot of unnecessary hair, I yank us both down low. Sam takes the hint and hits the gas. Rhi’s shock only lasts till the end of Mount Rose Street and she starts struggling. Even without looking I know where we are because Sam hasn’t turned once.
‘Up to the aerodrome, Sam,’ I gasp while holding my slippery cousin down. Things escalate fast to swearin
g, elbowing and hair pulling. The car stops and I release her, leaping out and ripping my hands through my hair in frustration. I hear two car doors open and feet come storming up behind me.
Pulling my hands free I spin on the nearest target. ‘What the fuck, Sam?’
‘Don’t even – this is your problem! I thought you asked her to come!’
‘You’re the dopey …’ I choke the words back as his face turns mutinous. Boys’ egos are too fragile for a serious truth-telling. Laney is the main focus, nothing else. I turn on Rhi who’s fixing her hair while glaring at me, standing only a few steps behind Sam.
‘What the fuck, Tace?’ Rhi’s sarcastic question makes me flush hot for a second. I want to tell her ‘nunya’ and leave her up here to walk home, but knowing her she’d run straight for her mother and then a call would go to Mum and everything was just plain—
‘Fuck!’ I do a rage dance, stamping my feet and flailing my arms around. ‘Just once, can’t things go the right friggin way?’
I stop my dance, take a deep breath and let it all go. Turning to find two gawking teenagers staring at me, I lift my chin and do my best Alana impersonation.
‘We’re out of time. You …’ my finger goes to Sam, ‘get in the car and take us to Potters’. You,’ same finger, different person, ‘get in the car and shut the fuck up. I’ll explain as we go. Or you stay right here and if you say one goddamn word to anyone I will cut you.’ My hand slices the air and Rhi’s mouth turns stubborn. ‘I’ll cut you from my life so fast it’ll be like you never existed. We’ll be done, finished! Because if you fuck this up and I lose my sister you’ll be dead to me.’
Rhi freezes. Mutinous mouth turning to tight-lipped fury. But she isn’t my sister-cousin for nothing. It’s my turn to be shocked when she spins on her heel and gets into the back seat. She slams the door shut. Guess I’m riding shotgun.
Sam hasn’t followed orders, but the look we exchange is enough. Striding to the car we climb in and ignore the sullen silence from the back.
Ghost Bird Page 13