Her mind suddenly brought before her eyes the picture of her and Will standing in the street together as he held her close, and she tried to hold onto the memory of that moment, that brief instant where she assumed everything would go perfectly, before it slipped away and was replaced with reality. It was their first time seeing each other in a long time, and she had imagined it so differently. She was embarrassed to admit that she’d even daydreamed about what it would be like to see him again—a few scenarios to keep the romantic side of her mind occupied during long summer afternoons. Sarah hadn’t thought it would do any harm, since she would never see him again, but now those imaginings of tender gazes and cheesy professions of love mocked her, gloating that she would never have any of that with anyone.
She squeezed her eyes closed to block out the images that played on the dark ceiling, wanting to block out the regret and questions circling around in her head. There had been so many things she had wanted to ask Will: Why had he deserted his quest to help others as the Shadow? Was it because of what she’d said to him about it being just a quest for vengeance against his parents’ killer?
But her pride and anger had gotten in the way, and instead of seeking answers, she had only managed to stir his own temper and poke at his pride to soothe her own. His words spoken to her long ago on a trail came to mind, and she remembered his grin as he spoke.
You and I are not so very different, Sarah.
She was beginning to think he might have been right.
****
Sarah and Karen ate breakfast with the rest of the family—an affair that was just as noisy and conversation-oriented as dinner—before asking Seth to hitch the wagon. With a roll of his eyes that was offset by his crooked grin, he did just that.
“You know, I should really learn how to do it myself sometime.” The snowfall the night before had created a hush over the forest, and Karen’s words as they rode along the narrow trail were the only sound to disrupt the silence.
“Do what?” Sarah asked absentmindedly.
Karen glanced at her oddly. “Hitching the horses to the wagon. What were you thinking about?”
“Why does it matter?” Sarah asked, side-stepping the question.
Karen grinned good-naturedly. “You know, for an open person, you sure can be cryptic sometimes.”
“I wouldn’t say I was being cryptic,” she defended.
“You’re right. Locked-up tight is more appropriate.”
She grimaced. “Sorry.”
Karen seemed to shrug it off. “Don’t be. I didn’t take it personally.”
They lapsed into silence as they approached town, and Sarah felt a stirring of anxiety in her stomach. Since Karen’s afternoon of eavesdropping outside the castle the day before had proved fruitless, they agreed that their best opportunity to discover anything was for Sarah to get hired as a maid and work from within the castle.
She clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap nervously, her mind working too furiously for her to grab hold of any single thought. “You think I can pull this off?”
“You are going to do just fine,” Karen replied, obviously guessing at her doubt. She glanced at Sarah before turning her eyes back to the street. “Were you ever involved in a production at your school?”
The question took Sarah by surprise. “Yeah, small roles,” she answered slowly, not comprehending.
“Were you any good?”
She shrugged her shoulders and answered modestly, “I was okay, I guess.”
Karen looked at her again and that quick grin appeared. “You’re lying.”
Sarah gave a small laugh. “Okay, so I got a couple of lead parts. But it was a small town and there wasn’t much competition for the role of Dorothy.” Her expression turned serious. “But that was years ago, Karen, and I just had to play a wide-eyed girl. This is real life; there are no practice runs or rehearsals. I’m not sure I can do this.”
Karen reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I know you can do this. I have faith in you, just like you believe in me. I’m sure you learned how to get into character for whatever role you were playing. Just do that and you’ll be fine.”
Sarah nodded and took a deep breath. Get into character—she could do that. Mrs. Moss, the head of the theater department at her old middle school, had always told the kids participating in her plays that the best way to get into character was to ask themselves questions. Simple ones, like what is the name of the character they’re portraying, where are they from, what is their background? Sarah found it ironic that she had rolled her eyes every time she heard those words and was now preparing to put that advice to the test.
Who is my character? she asked herself.
She turned to Karen. “Am I supposed to use my real name?”
The redhead worried her lower lip. “Maybe just your first. Whoever sent Allan after you and Will might be on the lookout for a Sarah Matthews, so it’s easier to blend in by giving as little information as possible.”
“Should I use a false identity?” Sarah asked, only half joking.
“No. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you bump into someone you know and they use your real name.”
Sarah nodded, mentally filing that advice away to be used later. “Right, okay. Anything else?”
Karen thought for a moment as she directed the horses toward the castle, ducking her head beneath her hood out of habit. “Remember, you’re a servant, so don’t be outspoken.” She grinned as if that was impossible, and Sarah rolled her eyes. “Only speak when spoken to, and don’t challenge anyone of higher rank. We don’t want you getting flogged on your first day.” Though she said it like a joke, her words carried warning.
Sarah swallowed hard as Karen pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the castle gates. They turned in their seats to face each other. Karen’s face was serious and held a note of worry, though Sarah could tell she was trying not to show her fear.
“If it gets too sticky in there, just get out. Don’t hesitate to pull yourself away from there if you feel you’ve been compromised.”
Sarah wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, though her insides had turned to jelly. “I feel like a secret agent.”
Karen leaned forward, her expression grim and insistent. “I am not kidding, Sarah. I don’t care how close you feel you are. This isn’t T.V. where the good guy gets away unscathed. Nothing’s so important that you should risk your life over it.”
“Some things are,” Sarah said quietly.
“But not this.” Karen emphasized each word to drive her point home. “Getting justice for the king is our goal, but it won’t bring him back.”
Sarah eyed the sharp spikes at the top of the heavily guarded gate and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.
“Don’t worry about me,” she said with more confidence than she felt. “I’ll be fine. Now get out of here before someone spots you.”
Karen nodded solemnly as Sarah jumped out of the wagon. Taking a deep breath for courage, she signaled her friend to leave with a wave of her hand. She watched Karen reluctantly drive away and turned to face the intimidating vastness of the castle, suddenly feeling completely alone. Then she remembered that she was never alone.
Lord, help me not to mess this up. Let us be successful and bring whatever evil has been going on here to light.
She advanced toward the open gate slowly, trying to look like she was confident and knew what she was doing. But would a servant really appear self-assured in such an intimidating situation? She allowed herself to reveal a small amount of the genuine trepidation she felt as she approached the men guarding the gate. She kept her head low and tried to pass by them without notice.
One of the guards grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.
“Where do you think you’re goin’, missy?” he asked, his stare as hard as the grip he had on her. “We got strict orders not to let anyone pass.”
Her heart felt ready to burst out of her chest in surpris
e, but her frustration over having been caught so quickly overshadowed her fear. “Then why not shut the gate so nobody can get in?” she ground out between clenched teeth.
The man didn’t answer her but pulled her with him and released her several feet from the entrance. Wordlessly, he walked back to his post and scanned the perimeter, though he tactfully avoided her fiery gaze.
Sarah had to fight against the urge to try and outrun the guards. But common sense overruled the desire when she realized that having them chase after her as she tried to apply for a position in the castle might not be an incentive to hire her.
“Fine,” she muttered under her breath. “I’ll find my own way, then.”
She walked along the outside of the gate, examining the fortress for any other entrances. There were none. She rounded the far side and was about to give up hope when she spotted the servants’ entrance at the back of the gate.
“Bingo.” She smiled to herself and started in that direction.
Someone grabbed her arm, and she spun around in fright, assuming that one of the guards had caught up with her. She expelled a gusty breath when she looked up and caught Will’s stern expression.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, glancing around to make sure no one had spotted them. There were a few of the townsfolk on the backside of the castle, but none of them paid attention to them. “Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“What are you doing?” he repeated in his quiet way. His hand fell from her arm.
“What are you doing?” she shot back, staring up at him.
“Keeping you out of trouble.” He adjusted the sack slung over his shoulder, drawing her attention to it.
“What is that?”
“You’re evading my previous question.”
Sarah cringed. How did he always know what she was thinking? It was very inconvenient when she was trying to distract him.
Giving up on her ruse, she straightened her shoulders and mustered all the confidence she was far from feeling. “I’m applying for a position in the castle.”
His eyes narrowed, but she didn’t shrink back. “I thought I made it clear how dangerous this will be.”
“You did. But I can make my own decisions.” She waited for him to tell her otherwise and prepared to argue over the subject with him.
He expelled a gusty sigh and shook his head at her wordlessly. Taking her elbow, he guided her toward the servants’ entrance.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, looking around nervously. He kept his eyes straight ahead.
“I am not letting you go in there alone.”
Sarah’s surprised melted into a small smile. So he did still care. If he had been in a better mood, she might have teased him a little about this fact.
Her smile faded as they neared the tall gate. She felt suddenly insignificant and unsure and moved a little closer to Will. He must have sensed her hesitancy, because his pace slowed and he caught her eye. “Do you still wish to do this?”
She nodded, though she was sure her face still conveyed some of her unease. “I need to do this.”
He didn’t question her further as they stepped up to the door. He removed his hand from her arm and knocked.
A servant answered. Her face was pale and narrow, and she wore an old apron speckled with flour over her ratty clothes. Her collarbone was pronounced above the neckline of the gray dress, and Sarah was sure that the girl didn’t eat properly.
“Yes?” she asked in a small voice. The girl couldn’t have been more than fourteen.
Sarah swallowed hard, stomach twisting in a nervous knot.
Will’s expression softened as he looked at the girl. “Would you please tell Terrance that Mr. Taylor is here?”
The girl nodded and skirted away like a frightened rabbit, leaving the door open. Sarah no longer had to pretend to be an intimidated servant seeking out employment; she was downright scared with the thought that everyone who worked in the castle was as frightened as that girl.
“Sarah?”
She looked up at Will with wide eyes. His own softened, and he leaned down, looking concerned, and that only caused her heart to beat more erratically.
“We can still leave.” His voice was quiet with understanding. Sarah inhaled a shuddering breath and grabbed his arm with both her hands, drawing strength from his nearness.
“Please don’t ask me that again,” she replied in a tight voice. “I might be tempted to take you up on your offer.”
Will looked hesitant to respect her decision, but he nodded, straightening just as a man appeared in the doorway. He seemed surprised to find them standing there together and turned his attention to Will.
“I didn’t expect you until next week,” the man, whom Sarah assumed was Terrance, remarked.
“It took less time than I estimated,” Will answered. Sarah didn’t miss the way his expression shifted from warm to businesslike in the man’s presence.
Terrance’s gaze became suspicious as he stared at Sarah. “And who is this?”
She gripped Will’s arm tighter and resisted the urge to hide behind him. The question wasn’t directed at her, so she remained silent: appearing subservient wasn’t hard to do with her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.
Will’s face was blank as he nodded his head in her direction. “This is Sarah,” he answered, though he offered nothing more. She breathed a sigh of relief that he understood her need for anonymity with these people.
The man eyed her up and down, and she blushed beneath his scrutiny. “She working at your place?” His question held a sardonic lilt.
Will gave a slight shake of his head and shifted his load again, grunting under the weight. “Actually, I thought she might find employment here.”
Sarah’s fingers dug into Will’s forearm as they waited for an answer. Terrance hesitated briefly before motioning them in and closing the door behind them. Sarah felt her breath catch in her throat at the sound of the door sealing shut with finality.
“This way,” he said, leading them through the kitchen and past the curious stares of the staff. Sarah released her hold on Will and kept her head down to avoid their probing gazes. Balling her hands into tights fists at her sides, she focused on the feel of her nails biting into the tender part of her palm, striving for calm.
Terrance brought them into a small sitting room and asked them to wait, and then he abruptly left them alone. The tiny room was sparsely furnished and very dark. Sarah felt too agitated to sit on the worn sofa, so she remained standing. Will dropped his sack to the floor. The sound startled Sarah, and she looked up at him, catching his concerned expression.
“How did you know I was over here, anyway?” she asked, hoping to take her mind off the present circumstance with the sound of his deep, smooth voice.
“I saw you get tossed out when you tried to go in through the front,” he explained. Her cheeks heated as she realized that others had probably seen what he had. “I had just finished the order when I saw you go around the back. In all honesty, I thought it might be a good excuse to make sure you were all right.”
Overwhelmed with gratitude, she surprised them both by wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him tightly.
“I’m glad you did,” she said softly. It was supposed to be a brief embrace, but she felt so secure in his arms that she held on, leaning her head against his strong chest and squeezing her eyes closed. She felt him tense up, but then he slowly relaxed and his arms came around to circle her shoulders.
“Please don’t leave yet,” Sarah whispered against his chest. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so unsure over something that she had been determined to do a few minutes before.
His arms tightened protectively around her. “I’m here.”
Those were the words she needed to hear most, and Sarah relaxed against him for a brief moment before she heard footsteps coming back down the hall. Will slowly pulled away from her, and she could read the unspoken words in his eyes.
“I’ll not ask again,” he assured her, and Sarah felt her appreciation for him grow. After the way she had treated him yesterday, he was still her friend and respected her wishes, and that gave her hope for their tenuous relationship.
Sarah took a step back from him as Terrance entered the sitting room.
“Can you cook or clean?” he asked, surprising her with his directness.
“Y-yes, sir,” she stammered, surprised.
He nodded his head. “It won’t be easy work, and it’s a mere stipend for the labor, but you will be provided with food and lodgings. Unless, of course, you’re renting a room in town?”
Sarah glance flickered uncertainly to Will and then back to the man. Though it would give her more opportunity to explore the castle, the prospect of staying in this foreign place with people she didn’t know was more intimidating than she cared to admit. She opened her mouth to say that she already had a place to stay, but the words wouldn’t come out. Something held her back, and for some unexplainable reason, she suddenly felt sure that this was where she was supposed to be.
Swallowing hard, she answered in a small voice, “I’ll stay here.”
Will looked at her, and she could read the surprise in his expression.
Terrance nodded his head again and clapped his hands together, appearing pleased. It was a very different look than his previous expression of suspicion, and Sarah couldn’t help but wonder if he had been testing her. “It’s settled then. We’ll start you off cleaning the east wing, since we have plenty of kitchen staff at the moment. I’ll get Edith to oversee your work.”
Sarah was so shocked that she was unable to speak. Her mouth worked silently as she looked from one man to the other. Will appeared just as speechless.
Terrance smiled, causing wrinkles to appear around his eyes and mouth as he directed his focus to the younger man. “Now, what do you have for me, Will?”
Will cleared his throat and quickly covered his surprise. “All the bridles and shoes you requested.” He picked up the sack and handed it to the older man. Terrance dropped the bundle to the floor with a clatter, opened the top, and peered inside. Nodding his head, he closed the opening.
Chasing Shadows Page 6