“That’s what I told her,” I replied. “She said she just wants to talk. It doesn’t matter, though, because I called Libby and she refused to help.”
“She refused?” Ryder said. “How could she fucking refuse?”
“It’s her choice,” I said, my heart racing. “But we can’t let Mona know that. Not until we get Sadie back.”
“Sounds like you have a plan,” Ryder said.
“I think I do, but you aren’t going to like it.”
“No, Grace, you aren’t going in there alone.”
“She insisted, Ryder!” I replied. “And it’s Sadie. This isn’t a stranger. This is our daughter.”
“Seriously, y’all, don’t fight over this,” Slade said. “Just give me the address and I’ll bust in there and show Miss Mona who the real fucking boss of this town is.”
“You?” Ryder asked.
“Look, man, she had me fucked up, okay?” Slade said. It was true, he’d been a mess when he’d finally come out of that basement. “All because I wouldn’t fuck her! What kind of evil asshole does that?”
“She is evil,” Ryder said. “And I’m not about to let her get away with this. We’ll get Sadie back, and then we’ll make sure Mona pays for this shit.”
“Mona’s fucked up, too,” I replied. “I just wish she’d leave us out of it.”
“Well, here we are.”
“Yeah, here we are,” I said, sighing heavily. “I think I should just go by myself. Try to talk to her. I think she’ll give Sadie up to me, Libby or no Libby.”
“I think you’re overestimating her kindness,” Slade said. “That woman does not like it one bit when she doesn’t get what she wants.”
“I’ll explain to her that Libby doesn’t want to know her, that Libby is better off that way. I’ll appeal to the mother in her.”
“There’s nothing nurturing about her, I’m telling you,” Slade said.
I looked up at Ryder, his brow deeply furrowed, his mouth set into a tight line.
“You’re not fucking going alone, Grace, and that’s that. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again, and as soon as we get Sadie back, the same goes for her. I fucked up once, and I’m not doing it again. No matter what some insane madwoman insists upon.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but the darkness in his eyes stopped me. He was furious. He was worried sick. And he was ready to fuck up anyone who argued with him. Ryder was rarely so incensed but in this moment, there was no arguing with him.
I closed my mouth and nodded.
“Let’s go back to the clubhouse and work out a plan,” he said. Slade and I silently followed behind him as we made our way to our bikes.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BULLET
The tension in the air of the clubhouse conference room could have been cut with the butcher knife hanging from Slade’s waist. Grace and Ryder looked like they’d aged ten years in just a few short days and the rest of the Gods were pissed.
Anger rolled off my brothers like heat off leather on a blazing summer day.
I was no exception.
Once I heard it was Mona who’d taken the baby, I was furious. She’d caused so much pain already. She’d done so much damage to Libby.
Hell, she was the reason Libby wouldn’t be with me, as far as I could tell. I mean, no, Libby hadn’t said as much, but I knew I was just a reminder of the hell she’d gone through at Mona’s hands. The fact that she turned out to actually be her biological mother had to have been such a mind-fuck for Libby.
Not to mention the humiliation she’d put me through.
I hadn’t forgotten the experience I’d had with her. I still hadn’t talked to anyone about it, either. I felt violated, embarrassed, humiliated. She’d forced me into that situation, then when I wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she manipulated me and my body took over.
That humiliation had stuck with me, no matter how much I tried to shake it off.
I fucking hated that she’d gotten into my head.
And now she was back to cause more trouble.
She was clearly the craziest woman in the world to come after Ryder and Grace’s baby, knowing how much firepower they have behind them. Us Gods would do anything to help them, and collectively, we’re unbeatable.
Mona would never know what hit her.
Which made her the stupidest woman, in addition to the craziest.
“Grace will go talk to Mona alone,” Ryder was saying. “But I will be extremely close by. If Mona tries anything, I’ll be right there.”
“Grace just had a baby and survived an assault,” I said.
“That’s right, I did. And the key word there is survived. I made it through, and that makes me that much stronger,” she said, lifting her chin defiantly. The spirit that ran through this woman was admirable. Her bravery seemed to have no limits.
“Sorry,” I muttered, feeling like a fool for questioning her.
“It’s okay,” she said, flashing me a sad smile.
“What about Libby, though?” I asked. I had to. She was all I could think about.
“As I said, she refused to help.”
“What if Mona goes after her?”
“Bullet, I don’t know what to tell you, honestly.” Grace shrugged. “I’m worried about her, too.”
“Wouldn’t she be safer here?” I blurted out.
“Of course,” she nodded. “But I don’t think she’s interested in our protection.”
“I don’t like it,” I growled, growing more uncomfortable by the minute.
“Me, either,” she replied.
“For fuck’s sake,” Slade interrupted, looking at me like I was dense. “Dude, if you’re worried about your woman, go get her. It’s simple.”
“She’s not my woman,” I replied.
“Well, clearly, she should be. You’ve been so torn up the last few months it’s ridiculous. Grow a pair and go get her. At the very least, bring her back here for a little while until this shit dies down.”
I nodded, contemplating his words.
“I’ve been trying to respect her wishes.”
“Well, I bet she wishes not to die, too,” Slade said, rolling his eyes.
I growled, wrinkling my brow. “Goddammit.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Slade said, flashing me his signature crooked grin. “Look, man, sometimes, you gotta be a little assertive. Chicks dig it.”
“There’s a fine line between being assertive and being an asshole,” Riot said. “Slade’s not so good at staying on the right side of that line, so think hard before taking his advice.”
“Damn, you make me sound like a rapist or something,” Slade protested. “I’m a fucking teddy-bear! I just know when to step the fuck up and take charge.”
The room erupted in much needed laughter.
“Okay, you two,” Ryder said. “Shut the hell up. Bullet, if you want to pay Libby a visit and attempt to convince her to come here for a while, that’s fine with us. The rest of you need to be ready to go at a moment’s notice in case things go south.”
I nodded, my heart pounding, my head spinning. The thought of inserting myself into Libby’s life left me reeling. But I couldn’t just let her go on without knowing she might be in danger.
We’d all thought we’d seen the last of Mona.
Apparently, we were wrong.
By the time the meeting was over and the plans were all set, I’d made up my mind. There was no way in hell I could ever sleep well again if I didn’t at least try to warn her.
Whether or not she’d listen, was another story altogether.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LIBBY
“I feel like a total bitch,” I said to Julia, as I pressed my foot on the pedal of my pottery wheel. The clay moved under my fingers, sliding against my skin like the smoothest satin. I pinched the top edge as it spun around, forming the lip of the vase I was making. I’d been working furiously all morning, trying to keep myself busy. Trying to push away
the guilt of saying no to a complete distraught Grace.
“Don’t,” Julia said, sitting cross-legged on the couch in my studio. “The last thing you need to do is give Mona a minute of your time.”
“I know,” I said. “But it’s her baby!”
“I know,” she said. “But she’ll get her back.”
I’d thought of nothing else since I hung up the phone on Grace. I’d even dialed her number twice, ready to change my mind, but each time, I’d hung up before it could ring. The thought of seeing Mona again made me nauseous. What did she want with me? Why couldn’t she just let me be?
Clearly, she’d lost her mind if she’d resorted to stealing babies.
What kind of woman was she?
Once again, it made me sick to think I came from her. That she’d created me. Her blood ran through my veins.
Was her blood that was evil? Would I inherit her insanity? Was it only a matter of time before my life exploded into chaos? The questions kept repeating themselves in my head.
It was all too much to bear.
And yet, I still felt like the worst person in the entire world for not helping Grace.
“I don’t know if I did the right thing,” I muttered, my fingers ripping through the clay as I squeezed too hard. “Dammit!”
I smashed the flawed lump of clay with my fist, tears stinging my eyes.
“I just want to live my life,” I said. “I wish I’d never met her. She was my idol, Julia! What the hell!? I wanted to be like her! What does that say about me?”
“You’re nothing like her,” she said. “And you never will be.”
I shook my head, turning off the wheel. It sputtered to a stop slowly and I sighed, standing up and walking over to the fridge. My studio consisted of one tiny room in an artist’s collective in deep Southeast Portland, with just enough room for a kiln, my wheel, some shelving, a couch and a mini-fridge that I kept stocked with beers. I reached in and grabbed two of them, handing one to Julia before sitting on the couch next to her.
“Say it again,” I said.
“You’re not Mona. You’ll never be Mona.”
I laid my head on her shoulder and sighed. “Thank you.”
“Love you,” she said, kissing my forehead.
“What if they don’t get their daughter back?” I wondered out loud.
“Then it’s not your fault, it’s Mona’s fault.”
I nodded, tears falling down my cheek.
“Say it again.”
“It’s Mona’s fault.”
“You’re a good friend, Julia,” I said, taking a drink of my PBR.
“Damn straight I am,” she laughed.
A knock at the door startled us. Julia looked over at me inquisitively.
“Expecting company?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Oh, shit. It’s probably Grace!”
“You’re probably right,” she agreed. “Are you going to answer it?”
I looked over at the door with the deepest dread.
“I guess,” I said, dejected. Of course she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Neither would I.
“Don’t agree to anything you don’t want to,” she reminded me. “You’re in charge.”
“Right,” I replied, squaring my shoulders, before opening the door.
Bullet’s handsome face stared back at me, knocking the wind right out of my lungs.
“Bullet!”
My eyes widened as I drank him in.
God, he looked so much better than I remembered…
Wearing his usual uniform of a black t-shirt, tight 501’s, black boots and his cut, he looked like a sexy, heavenly God come to life. It was obvious he’d been working out a lot in the last few months — his arms and thighs, while already thick and muscular, were noticeably bigger.
He smiled at me silently, standing there straight out of one my dreams.
Wait, maybe I was dreaming, I thought. I blinked hard.
He was still there. Dammit.
“What!” Julia cried from behind me. I shot her a glance and pulled the door closed, wedging myself between the door jam and the edge of the door to block her view.
“Hello, Libby,” he smiled down at me, his voice a low, husky growl that shot right to my stomach.
“Um, hi?” I replied, my voice high and nervous. I reached up to smooth my hair, swallowing hard.
Why was he here?
How did he even find my studio?
“You look good,” he said, his dark eyes raking up and down my body. I looked down — I was wearing my tattered, old, black Carhartt overalls, which were streaked with years of dried clay. Most likely, there was clay streaked on my face and matted in my hair.
I’d never been a tidy sculptor.
I looked back up at him, my heart skipping a beat, “You look…”
Dammit.
I could barely speak. He looked freakin’ amazing, that’s what he looked like. So amazing that I was sure if he kept looking at me the way he was looking at me, I’d surely melt into a puddle of soft, gooey flesh at his feet.
“Can I come in?”
Come in? Why?
“Um…”
“Of course he can come in!” Julia ripped the door open, her sing-songy voice ripping through my fog. She smiled, a huge, growing smile that spread across her face as she drank him in.
She thrust her hand out towards him. “Hi, Bullet. I’m Julia. I’ve heard all about you.”
She was gushing. Staring. Her eyes wide as saucers.
I nudged her and gave her a warning look.
“Nice to meet you, too, Julia,” he said, flashing her a drop-dead smile. My stomach flipped at the sight of it and it wasn’t even directed at me. I looked away, breathless, my heart racing. I hated that he had this effect on me.
“Come in, come in,” Julia said, pushing me out of the way.
He nodded gallantly, and walked in, flashing me a look that I felt more than saw. The heat rolling off of him seared me, without even one touch.
“So this is where the magic happens, huh?” he asked, turning and flashing me a smile. Julia stood in the corner, witnessing my uncomfortableness with apparent glee.
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s cool, though,” he nodded. “I like it.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, trying to look everywhere but directly at him. He sat on the couch, his huge frame nearly taking up an entire half of my long sofa.
“So, what brings you here, Bullet?” Julia asked. I shot her a third glance, willing her to shut the hell up.
His face grew serious and he nodded, his brow wrinkling with worry.
“As you know, Grace and Ryder’s baby was kidnapped by Mona,” he said, solemnly.
“Yes, Grace told me,” I said. “But Bullet, I’m not going to see Mona. I never want to see her again. If that’s why you’re here…”
“I understand,” he nodded. “I agree with you. You should never have to see her again. I’m not too fond of the idea either.”
I squinted, trying to understand. He’d never told me what had gone down between the two of them the day she took him upstairs, and I didn’t pry, but I knew from his demeanor when he returned that it wasn’t good.
“Then why are you here?” I asked.
He stood up and walked over to me, placing his palms on my biceps. Goosebumps rippled up my skin, my nipples hardened under my overalls. He peered into my eyes, his smoldering gaze threatening to bring me to my knees.
“Libby,” he paused, inhaling slowly as he held my gaze. “I don’t trust Mona. We’ve made other arrangements to get the baby back. Grace is going alone to try to reason with her. But, in the meantime, we don’t know if this is a trap. We don’t know if she’s working alone.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“I just don’t think you’re safe. Not yet. In fact, I’d go so far as to say you’re in danger.”
“Danger?” Julia asked, her
voice rising an octave. “Really? Wow, that’s so dramatic.”
“Julia, please,” I begged. “Hush.”
I turned back to Bullet, shaking my head.
“I’m not afraid of Mona. I just don’t want to see her. She would never hurt me.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid of her hurting you, I’m afraid of her abducting you again.”
I stared up at him, trying to make sense of his words. To be honest, even when I’d been locked in Mona’s basement, I hadn’t felt as if I was in danger. She’d been nothing but kind to me. Except for the locking me up part.
Why would she hurt me now?
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s been months…”
“I know,” he said. “Long enough for the idea that she’s your biological mother to have time to simmer and make her crazy.”
“I still don’t understand what you want from me.”
“I want you to come to the clubhouse and stay for a while.”
“What!” I exclaimed. “No way.”
“Libby…” His eyes implored me.
“No!” I said. “Hell, no. I have a life here. I’m not going anywhere. I barely graduated last year because my life was interrupted by her. I’m not letting her do it again.”
“Libby, please.”
“No, Bullet,” I said, shaking my head again. “And if that’s the only reason you came here, then I think you should leave.” I pulled myself from his grasp and walked over to the door and opened it. I looked down, waiting to hear his footsteps.
They never came.
I looked up with exasperation. He stood there staring at me, his arms crossed defiantly, and Julia stood behind him, her eyes filled with joyful intrigue as she enjoyed the latest episode of the soap-opera of my life.
“Libby, I understand your hesitation,” he said. “I do. Truly. But it’s only for a few days. And if you want me to be completely honest, yes, Grace and Ryder sent me here to protect you. And the safest place for you right now is the clubhouse.”
“I’m not going to the clubhouse, Bullet!”
“Well, we have a problem then,” he replied, unmoving.
“No, we don’t,” I insisted.
GODS & ANGELS: GODS OF CHAOS MC: BOOK ELEVEN Page 4