Slade and Diana held hands as they sat on the porch, their little boy asleep next to them. Riot and Lacey were pretty drunk, with Lacey laughing while watching Riot throw more wood on the fire. Frankie and Wreck snuck off into the woods at least an hour earlier and still hadn’t returned. Julia and Colt found a dark corner to snuggle into and I didn’t want to know what was going on in that corner.
Bullet and I found ourselves in a quiet moment alone, staring at the fire together.
“Julia seems to be having a great time,” Bullet said.
“I know,” she said. “Everyone’s so happy.”
“Are you?” he asked, turning to me, his eyes growing serious. “It’s all over for you now, Libby. You don’t have to worry about Mona anymore. Are you happy now?”
“It’s hard not to be happy here. At least tonight,” I replied. “And yes, I guess you’re right. I don’t have to worry anymore. I can be happy. Maybe I will be. When I go home, I mean.”
The thought of home was quickly pushed away. Tonight was almost perfect and I didn’t want it to end.
Bullet reached over and wrapped his hand around mine, pulling me closer to his side.
“I’m happy,” he said, smiling down at me. “In case you were wondering.”
I smiled up at him and nodded. “I’m glad.”
“Aren’t you going to ask why?”
I laughed, nodding. “Okay. Why?”
He grew serious again.
“It’s because you’re here.”
I smiled up at him, squeezing his hand. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really know what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to be with him.
Right now. Right here. Tonight.
“Is there somewhere we can go to be alone?”
The words fell out of my mouth before I fully thought them out, and good thing, too, or they never would have made it past my lips if I had thought about it for another two seconds.
But once they were, hanging in the air like a bomb about to explode, there was no bringing them back.
Bullet’s eyes smoldered, dilating with lust, the heat rolling off him.
He nodded once, his mouth set into a determined line. He turned, pulling me with him by my hand that he was now firmly clutching. I allowed him to guide me through the darkness along the trail that led to the small cabins behind the main clubhouse. Dimly lit by the pale moonlight alone, the trail was quiet and secluded. We walked for a while, until I was beginning to think Bullet was just going to take me against a tree, before he finally stopped in front of a tiny cabin at the end of a big group of cabins.
“We all live back here,” he said. I knew this, of course. I’d been here before. But in my clouded lust-filled, drunken brain, I’d forgotten momentarily. But as soon as he opened the door, all those memories came rushing back.
I remembered when he’d first come home from the hospital, helping him get settled and comfortable in bed. We’d made love then, but we were both so careful back then. Gingerly touching each other, worried about his wounds.
But now he was all healed up.
And he wasn’t worried about a damned thing.
As soon as the door closed, we were engulfed by the darkness of the cabin, the moonlight no longer lighting our way. He didn’t stop to turn on the light.
He pushed me against the closed front door, his lips crashing into mine. My hands danced over his body, the ripples and contours of his muscles sliding under my fingers. His kiss was white-hot — hard and passionate, months of unleashed lust finally finding release.
His tongue dove deeply into my mouth, searching for the connection we were both so hungry for. I kissed him back just as intensely, languishing in the feel of his embrace. Our hands pushed at our clothing, pulling and tugging until both of our clothes lay in a disheveled pile at our feet.
He sank to his knees in front of me, diving between my legs, his mouth hot and hungry. I melted under his assault on my center, gasping and moaning loudly, the sound of my cries breaking through the darkness. I reached down, my fingers sinking into his hair, pressing him harder into me, wanting more, wanting everything…
“Bullet, please,” I begged, “don’t stop.”
He didn’t.
He licked and sucked and deftly brought me to the edge of ecstasy, until I was screaming and writhing under his touch. He stood quickly, slipping between my thighs, his cock sliding into me quickly, thrusting into me with strong, sure strokes that left me quivering.
With trembling fingers, I held onto his broad shoulders, his mouth finding mine as he slammed into me harder and faster.
Panting and sweaty, we exploded together as we held onto each other with the pure intention of never letting go.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
BULLET
I woke up with Libby snuggled against my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around her. Her breathing was steady and sure, and if I wasn’t holding her I would have pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming again.
Last night was the best night of my life. We made love till dawn, until the sweet chorus of bird song announced the rising of the sun. And then, we fell asleep — blissfully content.
Now that I was awake, my body was begging for more.
I groaned at my painful erection, throbbing hotly beneath the sheets. Ignoring the yearning, I stayed quiet and still, determined not to wake her up before she was ready, merely for my own needs.
Instead, my head spun with questions.
What would today bring?
Where would the love flowing between us take us?
Would Libby wake up, sober and clear-headed, regretting our night together? I wanted to convince her we weren’t so different. In bed, it was obvious. But in the light of day, I knew she might still be conflicted.
So, I made a plan.
I’d do my best to show her that I could fit into her world. I’d take her out, get dressed up, try not to be such a bumbling behemoth and show her that we were meant to be together, despite our differences.
But what if I failed?
I pushed that thought away as much as I could, determined to stay optimistic. Part of me didn’t want her to wake up, not for a long time, so I could keep holding her, before the harshness of reality came rushing back into our lives.
After last night, I needed her.
To be honest, I’ve needed her all this time, since the moment I met her, since the moment I first kissed her in that dirty basement with a pile of rotting apples in the corner. But now that she was here? In my arms? In my bed?
How could I ever let her go?
She stirred with a tiny little moan, looking up at me, her raven hair tumbling over her face, her lips still swollen from our kisses. She smiled the sweetest smile, my heart breaking wide open as I stared down at her, the morning light streaming through the window and dancing across her face.
“Morning,” she whispered, her voice husky and ragged from sleep.
I kissed her, my lips gently brushing against hers in answer. Under the covers, her thighs wrapped around mine, pressing herself into me.
I moaned, kissing her again, deeper, searching for the answer I needed. She wrapped her arms around me as I pulled myself over her, sliding into her as she wrapped her entire body around me.
Her moans drifted over us I sank into her over and over, her body opening to me, welcoming, warm, inviting.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
LIBBY
Bullet made me feel beautiful.
He looked at me with this gentle awe, his touch alternating between tender and firm. His kisses hard, then soft. He oozed sensuality, and we melted into each other, our bodies writhing together in one long, passionate embrace.
We stayed in bed an hour before hunger forced us to untangle ourselves.
By the time we feasted on eggs and bacon, toast and OJ, it was almost noon and we ventured outside out of pure embarrassment. I’d not checked in on Julia since late last night and the guilt was starting to get to me, despite Bullet’s insisten
ce that she would be treated with the utmost respect and her needs completely met.
That’s what I was afraid of.
But I should have known better. She’d acclimated to the clubhouse like she’d been born there, flittering around from God to God, batting her eyes and shaking her ass, drinking in the attention with a big smile.
She walked up to me, that grin turning my way.
“Look at you!” she said. “You’re glowing!”
“So are you,” I said.
She giggled, and nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, Libby, you won’t believe the fun I had. Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about it.”
“I can’t wait,” I laughed.
“So, are we going to quit our jobs and live here forever or what?”
“Julia!” I said. “Of course not!”
“Just checking,” she winked. “It’s really fun here.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s time to go now, actually. I have a shift at the gallery.”
“Now?” she cried, her voice going up an octave. Her eyes raked over the Gods gathered in groups on the porch. “But I’m not finished.”
“You’re insatiable,” I laughed. “Go say goodbye. We leave in five minutes.”
She turned on her heel like a spoiled child. I turned back to Bullet and saw he was staring down at me with a grin.
“What?”
“When can I see you again?”
“In five minutes, when you drive me back to Portland.”
“I know. But this is our last few minutes alone. I imagine Julia will talk the whole way back. So, let’s make a plan. When can I see you?”
I took a deep breath, smiling up at him.
“Soon. Let me get back and catch my breath. I’m in the middle of a project in my studio and I have several shifts coming up at the gallery.”
“Okay,” he nodded. “I can be patient.”
He leaned down, whispering in my ear.
“But if you ghost me again, I can’t say my patience will last as long as it did last time.”
I smiled up at him and shook my head, laughing.
“I don’t think you have much to worry about,” I said.
“I hope not,” he said, growing serious. “I really care about you, Libby.”
My heart swelled, and I nodded slowly. “Me, too.”
“Let’s get you home,” he said, throwing an arm around my shoulder. We walked to the car together and I couldn’t have pried the smile off my face if I tried.
Julia jumped into the car a few minutes later after we both said goodbye to everyone, and Bullet was right.
She talked the entire drive.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
MONA
Portland has changed so much in the last twenty years.
The gallery across the street from where I was parked used to be a little coffee shop that I’d go to sketch and drink copious amounts of coffee when I was just getting started. Back then, I didn’t have a studio yet and my tiny apartment was cramped and noisy. I was broke as hell, and the barista would let me sit there all day and refill my cup for free, as long as I showed her what I was working on every now and then.
Now, that dirty, old, brick building has been white washed, with new, huge windows installed and completely gutted and remodeled. Now, it sported stark white walls and the original hardwood floors that were painstakingly restored to the perfect patina. Bright light from inside shone through the windows, bathing the sidewalk outside as night began to fall.
I’d been sitting in my car for two hours now, watching. Waiting.
Libby had spent most of the time just sitting at the front desk on her laptop, occasionally glancing at her phone and smiling. Her long hair fell around her face, blocking out most of it, except her nose.
She had my nose.
It’s funny, isn’t it? Fascinating, really. How your offspring can be so much like you. She was like a little mini-me. I saw so much of myself in her, even from afar.
I took a sip from the bottle next to me, the sting of the whiskey hitting my throat in a familiar way. Warm and buzzed, I melted into the feeling.
It was good to get drunk again. I’d kept myself pretty sober while I had Grace’s baby, but now that that was over, I’d fallen back on my old reliable crutch to dull the pain.
That baby had been a lot of work.
I couldn’t believe Grace had let me get away. She could have put me away again, for a lot longer this time. I had no real plan. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone, not really. Certainly not that innocent little girl.
I just wanted Grace to hurt a little, that’s all.
And she did. I saw it in her eyes.
I guess that was enough for me. And maybe she saw the pain in mine, and that was enough for her, too.
Either way, here I was.
Free and able to get close to the only reason I had left for living.
I had nothing left. Nothing but time.
And if time was all it was going to take for Libby to come around, then that was okay. I had all the time in the world.
For now, I’d have to be satisfied with this.
But I’d come up with a plan soon.
She’ll come around. Because she’s just like me, you know? She’s forgiving. I bet her heart is full of love. She’s probably patient, too.
Just like me.
And soon, she’ll see that, too.
I took another sip, sliding down into the car seat, my eyes glued on my beautiful daughter.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
LIBBY
Basically, my life consisted of three things.
Home, work, and my art studio.
I was either sleeping at home, being completely bored at work, or furiously working on my latest sculpture until the early morning hours. I had a tendency to get lost when I was working. It was hypnotizing, and I’d spend hours and hours before finally glancing at the clock in shock that so much time has passed.
But for tonight, this gallery is a dead-zone. It almost always is. Unless it’s First Thursday, which is a huge art crawl that happens on the first Thursday of each month, then it was a madhouse. The owner insisted I stay open until exactly nine-thirty every night, despite the fact that there were never any customers.
Tonight was no exception.
Usually, I spent the hours sketching, but I was distracted tonight, my first night back after my little vacation at the clubhouse. Instead, I spent the night scrolling through social media sites while I texted with Bullet, a little shiver of delight running through me each time my phone vibrated.
I couldn’t wait to get back into his arms.
Even so, I still hadn’t made a date with him. I just needed a day or two to regroup, to remind myself of who I was, to wrap my head around everything that had happened. And so far, he still hadn’t even asked again.
His respect and restraint was impressive, and I was so grateful he wasn’t pushing me.
At nine-thirty on the dot, I turned off the lights, set the alarm, and locked up. Heading out to my car, parked just a block away, I stayed focused on my surroundings and kept my eyes darting around to make sure I’d covered every corner.
Since the whole episode in Mona’s basement, I’d been extra diligent about my safety. Old Town at night wasn’t the safest place for anyone, so I kept one eye on the tweakers on the corner and one eye on my car.
I slid behind the wheel with a relieved sigh, locked the doors and turned on the lights. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out before driving away. It was Bullet, who knew I was on my way home.
Text me to let me know you got home safely, please.
I smiled as I put the car in gear and headed home, my heart swelling with love for that man. I couldn’t wait to show him just how much I missed him.
I drove home slowly, taking in the views of the city as I crossed the Burnside Bridge.
I didn’t see the car following me.
And when I arrived home and opened my curtains and windows to l
et my apartment air out, I didn’t see that same car park directly across the street.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
GRACE
“It’s like silk,” Ryder said.
“More like velvet,” I replied, caressing Sadie’s cheek. Her skin was like nothing I’d ever felt before and I couldn’t stop touching her and looking at her. I spent hours and hours just gazing at her, watching her little eyes try to focus, her arms and legs wiggling around.
And the sounds she was making! All the cooing and the little grunts and even the cries. Everything she did seemed to make everything inside of me turn to mush.
We couldn’t get enough of her.
After arriving home, we sequestered ourselves in our cabin after a quick hello to the crew. Ignoring the sounds of their partying late into the night, we hadn’t left the bed for more than a few minutes at a time.
Ryder had turned into the most efficient diaper changer in record time. And he was quickly becoming an expert on the meaning of every sound Sadie made. His enthusiasm and devotion left my heart swelling with love and pride for my little family.
Now that we were home, I never wanted to leave our little cocoon again. At least not for a long while.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if it was just us here?” I said, absentmindedly.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t mean forever,” I said. “It’s just that I wouldn’t mind having a little privacy, that’s all. Some quiet, just for a few days. Just you and me and Sadie and nobody else around. I know Slade’s going to knock on the door in a few hours begging to see the baby again. And Riot and Lacey will be next in line. I love them, I really do. Don’t get me wrong. I know this is our life, and I’m so grateful.”
“Of course, I understand,” Ryder said. “Of course, you want peace. We’ve gone through so much, babe.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “But the thought of staying in a hotel isn’t much more pleasant. Maybe after the initial infatuation with Sadie wears off, they’ll give us some peace.”
GODS & ANGELS: GODS OF CHAOS MC: BOOK ELEVEN Page 8