Weeks faded into months, the days bringing panic attacks, the nights long and riddled with nightmares. When summer was drawing to a close, Hope canceled her registration to Duke. She couldn’t bear the thought of going there without Aaron. Without her heart. She’d hitched her dreams to Aaron, and they’d evaporated like fog under the morning sun.
But she had to have something to keep her mind occupied. Something to remind her she was still here. Something to live for. With her parents’ urging, she registered last minute at Dalton State, a local college. She’d pursue a degree and find a way to go on somehow. It was what Aaron would’ve wanted.
chapter eighteen
Hope turned on the oven light and checked the rolls. Almost done. The timer began ticking away the last minute, and she gave the green beans a stir. It was their first married meal at home, and she hoped the Crock-Pot chicken would turn out all right. The savory smells filling the kitchen were promising.
Behind her, Sam patted his high chair with both palms, making his Cheerios dance on the tray. “Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga!”
“Are you eating your cereal?” Hope poked his belly, making him laugh.
She almost had to put the little bugger in his chair to cook or get anything else done these days. He was crawling like a pro. Brady had installed a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs a month ago.
“Abee-babu!” Sam worked his index finger and thumb to pick up a Cheerio and put it into his mouth.
“Yummy, yummy! Good for your tummy!”
Hope went to the Crock-Pot and lifted the lid. She breathed in the garlic and oregano. She poked the meat with a fork and found it tender, so she turned it to warm and replaced the lid.
When the buzzer went off, she turned off the stove and grabbed a potholder. As she pulled open the door the delicious smell of yeast escaped.
“Hi, honey, I’m home.”
Hope started, the back of her hand coming in contact with the inside of the oven door.
She jerked her hand back. “Ouch!”
Brady shut the kitchen door. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Love the greeting—very domestic of you.” Hope removed the rolls and went to the sink. The back of her hand burned like the dickens. She held it under a stream of cold water.
Sam slapped his tray. “Ga-ga-ga!”
“Sorry I scared you.” Brady had come to stand close beside her. The faint smells of motor oil and garage prevailed over his spicy cologne. “Let me see.”
“It’ll be fine. How was your day?”
“Speaking of domesticated greetings.” He gave her a sideways smile as he took her hand from the stream of water. The spot had reddened. He held it back under the flow.
“My day was just fine until I gave my wife an injury,” he said facetiously. “I have a cream for burns upstairs.”
He wiped his hand on his pant leg, stopped to drop a kiss on Sam’s head on his way upstairs.
Keeping her hand under the flow of water, Hope stirred the green beans with the other, then turned down the heat. Brady was back a minute later. She shut off the water and was drying her hand as he set the first-aid kit down on the counter.
He took her hand. “Let me see.”
“No blister or anything. It’s fine.”
He uncapped the cream, squeezed out a dot, and began rubbing it in, his thumb running in gentle circles.
“I can do that myself, you know.”
“I broke it. I should fix it. Want some ibuprofen?”
“It’s not that bad.”
He lifted her hand and pressed a tender kiss to the spot. His lips were soft, and the gesture was so sweet her heart gave a little roll.
“How’d that taste?” she asked.
“Not so good.”
His eyes met hers, sparkling with laughter. She’d missed him today, she realized. Over the last two days she’d gotten accustomed to sharing her every thought with him. So this morning when Sam had pointed with his finger for the first time, she wanted to run and tell him. And when she’d printed out her final résumé, she’d wanted to show it to him.
But now, as the amusement faded from his eyes and his hands came to rest at her waist, she was glad she’d waited. Because she was starting to think maybe he’d missed her too.
“Bet this’ll taste better.” He leaned close and slowly brushed her lips with his. “Yep,” he whispered and went back for seconds.
She leaned into his touch, returning his kiss, and her heart suddenly seemed ready to pound its way out of her chest.
A slapping sound pulled her back to reality. Sammy, pounding on his tray.
Brady eased away, his eyes sleepy. His lips happy. It was a beautiful sight.
“You know,” she said, “this being married stuff isn’t so bad.”
“Right?” He gave her a charming smile and moved to run a hand over Sam’s head.
Hope stepped over to the stove and gave the green beans a stir. “Supper’s ready. I hope it turned out all right.”
“It smells great. Would you mind if I took a quick shower first? I’m ruining all the good smells.”
“No, that’s fine. It’ll keep a few minutes.”
“Perfect.” He stopped by the stove to drop a kiss on her head. “After supper we can open wedding gifts.”
“Yay! Presents.”
Hope brushed away the wrapping paper and held up a heavy black object. “Um . . . what is it?”
Brady smiled at the look on Hope’s face. That little frowny face she made was adorable. “It’s an elephant,” he said helpfully.
She gave him a look. “But what’s it for?”
Brady reached into the box and pulled out its match. “Bookends.”
“Oh.” She set them on the coffee table opposite each other and considered them. The elephants were sitting, their feet extended forward, their trunks lifted high, poised to hold up a heavy row of books. “Well, that makes sense, I guess.”
Brady gave a wry smile. The gift was from his dad. “It’s the same thing he got Audrey and me for our wedding.”
“What? Are you kidding me?”
“He probably gets the same wedding gift for everyone.”
Audrey had taken the bookends in the divorce, though, so they could still use them. He wadded the paper up in a ball and tossed it on the floor where Sammy was having fun with the boxes.
“I’m sorry,” Hope said. “That must not feel very good.”
“That’s just the way Dad is. I’ll use them to prop up my sci-fi collection, though he’d never approve. Novels are a waste of time according to him. But at least he came to the wedding, you know?”
His birth mom hadn’t even known about their nuptials. They hadn’t known where to send an invitation since she moved around a lot and didn’t keep in touch.
“When’s the last time you saw April?” Hope jotted down the gift on her notepad.
“About five years ago. She showed up at my grandma’s place and stayed just long enough to upset everyone, and then she was gone again. She came back about a year and a half ago, but she didn’t bother to look me up. Actually, that’s what had me so upset the night I lost my head and slept with Audrey.” He shook his head. “Stupid.”
“I remember that. It was your birthday.”
“Right. Not my finest hour.”
“You were hurt, understandably.” She gave him a sympathetic look. “It’s terrible what drugs do to people.”
Brady opened an envelope. “Yes, it is. This one’s from Ruby Brown.” He began ripping off the paper. “Granny took care of Mom for a long time, but she finally had enough. You can’t blame her.”
“That must’ve been hard, but she did the right thing. Enabling a drug addict doesn’t help anyone.”
“I know. It’s just weird having a mom out there somewhere who couldn’t care less about you. She just gave me up like I was nothing.”
Hope touched his hand. “I’m sorry, Brady. You deserved so much better.”
Her green eyes tugged at
him. Made him feel she understood. No wonder her friends poured their hearts out to her.
“At least I had Mom and Dad, you know? They were good parents. And I got a sister out of the deal.” Maybe he’d never felt like he’d quite belonged in the family, but he was blessed, he knew. It just seemed like a raw deal that the woman who’d actually raised him was killed in a freak bicycle accident while his birth mom got to live, strung out on drugs and caring for nothing but her next high.
“That’s why you couldn’t give up Sam, isn’t it?” Hope said softly. “You know what that feels like.”
His chest constricted, a long-buried pain surging to the surface. “You’re a smart woman, Hope.”
“You’d never let Sam grow up thinking you didn’t want him.”
“That’s the difference between me and my mom. I actually do want him.”
Her smile was warm and affectionate as she patted his leg. “I know you do. You’re a good man, Brady Collins. But we don’t have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want to. I don’t want to get you down.”
Brady gave his head a shake. “Right. We’re opening wedding presents here. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.”
Hope’s eyes lit on the box he’d just unwrapped. “Especially when it’s a gift like this . . . a Keurig! Yay! I’ve been wanting one of these.”
“Speaking of addictions . . . ,” he teased.
She nudged his shoulder.
“Ga-ga-ga-ga!” Sam patted the side of a box, smiling at the loud noise he was making.
“See, Sam likes it too.” Hope smiled at the baby. “You have such good taste, don’t you, punkin?”
“He’ll like the box better.”
“Well, that goes without saying.” She jotted down the gift. “Miss Ruby, you do know what a girl needs.”
Brady snatched another envelope from a package. “So are you nervous about your interview tomorrow?”
“No, not really.” She bit her lip as she put the card with the others.
He gave her a look until she broke.
“Okay, yes, I am. I printed out my résumé today. Any chance you’d take a look at it for me?”
“Sure, I’d be glad to. And I’ll also remind you of what you said just a couple days ago. ‘It’s just a formality.’ Also, ‘It’s all in God’s hands.’”
She nudged his shoulder again, her lips twitching. “Thanks. I think.”
“You’ve got this, Hope. This job was custom-made for you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Her lips had tipped up in a little smile, and he loved that he’d put it there. “You’re going to do great.”
chapter nineteen
“So, how’s married life treating you?” Diana Mayhew asked. The operations manager had taken a seat behind her big desk, a friendly smile on her face.
“It’s great. We had a wonderful time in Gatlinburg, and I’m getting settled in at Brady’s house.” They’d used some of Hope’s furniture to fill in the gaps left from his divorce. The rest they’d donated to the Hope House, a local girls home.
“Glad to hear it. It sure was a whirlwind engagement.”
“Well, we both wanted a small wedding. And we’ve known each other forever, so it’s not like we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into.”
“Friendship first is always a great way to go.”
They made small talk for a few minutes, then spent time discussing the direction the station wanted to take with the available position. Diana wanted to know Hope’s thoughts on her program and told her about advertising goals they’d like to keep in mind.
The interview was going well. Like Hope, Diana shared a desire to help listeners make wise decisions and set healthy goals for their lives. The thought of impacting so many lives gave Hope an adrenaline rush. She could talk about this subject all day.
But Diana was easing back from her desk, and Hope wrapped up her final thoughts, not wanting to take too much of the director’s time.
“Well, it sounds as if we’re on the same page, Hope. As you know, I’m a big fan of your program, and I hope to offer you the job. But we’ll also be interviewing another candidate, so I’ll be letting you know soon which direction we’re going to go.”
Hope worked to keep the smile on her face. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were looking at someone else.”
“I hadn’t planned on it, to be honest. But Darren got wind of another jock out of Chicago looking to relocate. He wants to put him in the running too.” Diana stood, smoothing her blouse. “He’s not as good a fit, if you ask me, and I’m pulling for you.”
Hope stood, her legs suddenly shaking. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”
Diana extended a hand. “I’ll be in touch soon. Hopefully it won’t be too long.”
“I look forward to hearing from you.”
As Hope exited the building a moment later, she couldn’t help but wonder what the heck had just happened. She was supposed to be a shoo-in for the position. She’d been counting on it.
It was after five by the time she crossed the town line into Copper Creek. Her emotions during the drive had morphed from despair to mere dismay. At Old Mill Road she turned left, making a last-minute decision to swing by the Peach Barn and talk to her best friend.
Zoe’s new red barn hunkered back off the road beneath a grove of oak trees. It had been completed a month ago, and they’d moved all the merchandise from Brady’s building. Zoe was happy to have her new barn, and Brady was glad to finally take ownership of his new garage.
Hope found Zoe stocking the bakery case. The sweet smells of fresh cobbler and muffins rose above the scent of cut lumber.
“Yum. Something smells good.”
Zoe popped up from where she’d stooped. Her auburn curls were pulled back from her face. “Hope! How’d your interview go—oh, I don’t like that look on your face.”
“They’re considering someone else.”
“What?” Zoe’s indignant tone validated Hope’s feelings.
“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. I’m in the running, but still. Some guy out of Chicago.”
“Pull up a chair, hon. This calls for sugar.”
“Not going to argue.” Hope took a seat at one of the small café tables, and a minute later Zoe brought over a pie tin filled with peach crisp and two forks.
“We’re not even going to be civilized about this?”
“You’re right. We’re missing the ice cream.”
“Forget the ice cream. Give me the fork.”
They dug into the crisp, which was still warm. Hope let the flavors blend and melt on her tongue. The confection was almost good enough to make her forget she’d just been sucker punched.
“Start talking,” Zoe said.
Hope swallowed the bite and told the story, starting with how well the interview seemed to be going and ending with Diana’s unexpected announcement.
“Well, that bites. But at least she seems to favor you. That’s good.”
“But she’s not the head honcho. That would be Darren, and he’s the one pushing for this Chicago jock.”
“Chicago.” Zoe waved her off. “He’s a Yankee. What’s he know?”
“He’s from a large market, which actually makes him more experienced than I am.”
“Well, you’re one of us, and you’re brilliant at what you do. They’d be crazy to turn you down.” Zoe took a generous bite of the crisp. “What did Brady say?”
“He texted me after the interview, but I haven’t responded yet. I didn’t want to bother him at work.”
Zoe’s eyes pierced hers, but Hope looked down. She stirred her fork around the gooey peach filling.
“What?” Zoe said.
Hope shook her head. “I’m dreading telling him. He was upset to hear I actually had to interview for the position. I’m a little embarrassed for assuming the job was mine. I’ll feel like a loser if I don’t get it.”
“You’re not a loser, and he’d ne
ver think that. Never.”
“I just feel so foolish. I even went out and bought these stupid shoes. I don’t want to admit how much they cost.” So she had a tendency to compensate for her childhood. Who could blame her?
“Is that a new purse too?”
Hope gave Zoe a dark look. “Never mind.” She was going to have to tell Brady she’d put the purchases on their credit card. Of course, when she’d bought them she’d assumed they’d soon have an extra paycheck coming in.
Zoe squeezed her hand. “Listen, you’re getting all worked up, and for all you know you’re going to get the job. Besides which, we both know this is all in God’s hands, and if you’re meant to have the job you will.”
“I know, I know.” Hope made a pouty face. “Why doesn’t that help?”
“Because we have our own wishes and wants, and they don’t always line up with His. But trust a girl who’s made plenty of mistakes in this area . . . He knows what He’s doing. Remember when I got pregnant at nineteen? And when I ran off with Brevity to become a star? But now I’m engaged to the father of my baby girl, and I’m running Granny’s orchard. God took all my mistakes and worked them for good. You can trust Him with your future, Hope.”
But she thought of Aaron and how God had taken him away from her so suddenly. Had completely obliterated their future together. She’d trusted Him then, and look what had happened.
She shook her head. That was a long time ago. Hope felt her heart lighten a little as she looked at her friend. Zoe was right. Maybe she just needed to do a little realigning.
She felt better by the time she’d left—and devoured a healthy serving of peach crisp. Brady had texted to let her know he’d taken Sam to Murphy’s Park, so she replied that she’d meet him there.
The tot was happily ensconced in a baby swing when she walked up the knoll to the grassy square on the edge of town. Towering maple trees offered a shady reprieve from the August heat. A squirrel nattered and scurried along a branch, and children’s laughter rang out from the various pieces of playground equipment.
Unobserved, she watched Brady and Sam as she approached. Brady was giving the boy gentle pushes from the front, making silly faces and giving spontaneous belly pokes all the while.
Honeysuckle Dreams Page 13