Lucia’s voice boomed from behind Caio, “You love them? Do you know what they’ve done to me?”
“They don’t want to hurt you,” the girl said.
“Then they’ve stolen your mind,” Lucia strode forward with her sword pointing at the Pawelon. “Do you want to see the body of my lover? Right back there.” She swung the sword back to point at Ilario.
The girl’s face trembled as she backed away.
“Lucia, she had nothing to do with it.”
“How do you know? Maybe I should balance the scales. A lover for a lover?” Lucia stepped forward in pace with the girl, pointing the white blade at the Pawelon’s ample chest.
“Lucia, as your Dux Spiritus I command you to stop.”
His sister looked back at him with narrowed eyes. “My Haizzem, why don’t you raise Ilario from the dead?”
Caio dropped his head, balled his fists, and pulled his hands against his chest.
“Or did you use your ability on a worthless Pawelon boy, even though I still lived? Even though Ilario and Duilio and our father were still alive? Were you that stupid?” Lucia swung around again and raised Ysa’s sword. She feinted a thrust at the girl, who cowered and begged.
“I will take them away,” the girl whimpered in Pawelon. “They would not want to hurt you.”
“They have hurt me. They have hurt me very badly, girl.” Lucia surged forward and grabbed the Pawelon’s hair, yanking her body to the ground. The girl screamed and begged. Lucia knelt on her left knee and brought up Ysa’s sword in her right hand.
With a fierce yell, Lucia swung the sword down.
Just to the side of the girl’s head.
The Pawelon girl’s wailing haunted the forest.
Lucia kept her grip on the girl’s hair and brought the blade against the back of the Pawelon’s skull.
“Lucia, I command you, stop!”
Lucia pulled the blade up, stood, and turned back. Caio saw the full length of the girl’s hair in Lucia’s left hand. The Pawelon ran her hands along her scalp and continued sobbing. The Pawelon men continued their pained grunting as Lord Oderigo’s giant vines swung through the air.
“Kill the men and let’s leave this cursed place,” Lucia said.
“We can’t. Remember the duel.”
“Kill the fat one then. He would have killed me if you hadn’t stopped him.”
“Let’s just leave,” Caio said. There is too much risk now.
“Ilario. Is. Dead.” Lucia came so close she nearly bumped her chest against Caio’s. “Dead. And you can’t do a thing about it. Now someone has to pay for this.”
“Lucia, I am angry, too. But when I defeat their prince that will be payment enough.”
“Killing him might save Rezzian lives, Caio. He is dangerous.”
“I am going to fight their prince. We’ve reached an agreement.”
“One that will be worthless even if you win. And that fat Pawelon will still be there, looking for me and killing our men.”
Is she right, Mya? Oderigo?
The tree-length vines collapsed onto the forest floor.
Lucia scrambled around searching for their foes. “Where did they go?”
Terror punched through Caio’s heart. “I don’t see them.”
Lucia picked up her shield and stepped backward in the direction of the lake. “Caio, get behind me.”
Caio’s feet pressed against dried leaves as he walked backward and searched through the mist for his enemies.
Lord Oderigo, protect us.
All at once, the girl’s sobs stopped.
“I feel their presence,” Lucia said. “They are still here. Stand back.” She tested the sword through the fog, slicing through the air.
“Do not touch my sister ever again! If you intend to meet me for single combat, flee from us now.”
As they stepped back through the forest toward the lake, the fog thinned. Smaller flames licked the trees. The icy air still smelled of smoke and hummed with a divine presence.
“I think they’re gone. I don’t sense anything,” she said.
“I agree.” As he began to feel safe again, Caio’s heart filled with the black trauma. He stumbled on, each step toward his friend’s body harder to believe than the last. Caio fell onto Ilario and pressed an ear against his still chest.
Lucia stood over him, gripping Ysa’s sword.
Caio forced himself off Ilario’s body and, still on his knees, put his head onto the cool ground instead. “I saw Lord Sansone. He laid down his heavy chain and shut Ilario’s eyes. His god blessed him to live forever.”
Lucia dropped the sword and shield and fell to her knees, pounding her fists on Ilario’s bones. She kissed him on his lips and turned her head to Caio. “And you can’t do a thing about it?”
“No!” Caio’s insides felt pummeled and bruised. “No.”
She ran toward their horses, saying only, “We need to bring his body back for proper burial.”
The horses had been tied up, but by the time Lucia and Caio reached them, their midnight-colored forms were walking toward them.
“The goddess,” Lucia said.
Caio understood that Ysa had possessed them again. They were still capable of impossible feats. The steed Ilario rode sped up and approached his corpse. The horse lowered itself and touched its belly and then its nose to the ground.
Caio helped Lucia pull Ilario’s body onto the horse until it balanced across the beast’s back. Ilario’s stomach rested where he had previously sat, his arms falling out to one side and his legs to another. Lucia and Caio carefully lashed him to the horse’s saddle as they sniffled and wiped away tears. Lucia covered Ilario with her blanket and tucked the dark blue material under him.
She carefully removed Ilario’s necklace. The holy black anvil of Sansone reflected a glimmer of moonlight. She tied it around her own neck.
They mounted their horses in silence and Lucia tied Ilario’s horse to her own.
Caio’s whole being was a jumble of worry, confusion, denial, and anger.
And guilt.
Chapter 50: The Burden of Sacrifice
I COULD BE DREAMING AGAIN, Lucia thought. I could wake up in Ilario’s arms. It could be another test.
The horses moved with such vigor. Lucia wanted to lie across Ebon, fall off, die. The lunging movements of the horse stirred her nauseated gut. Her ill stomach told her she would vomit again soon.
Her soul felt tender and gnawed through. “Enjoy our time together under the full moon.” You’re a bastard and thief—a force of evil. You deserve no worship, no love at all. Be alone in your hole with the dead. Leave the living alone.
“Lucia,” Caio called. “Lucia.” Silence. “Lucia, speak to me.” She focused on the contours of Caio’s voice, studying the sounds as if they were exotic, piped in from another world.
You have no idea what I can do, Caio. You have no idea the dilemma I face.
Lucia squeezed both her forearms, digging her nails into the leather.
“Why did Ysa speed our journey?” she finally asked Caio. “She must have known. She could have saved Ilario with her shield. Does my own goddess not care for me?” She slammed her eyes shut, ejecting tears. “Because Danato is her damn brother?” She yelled into the night: “I would kill the perverted god if I could!” The desert was silent except for the horses’ clomping and the soft hum of the insects. “Or he can kill me! It doesn’t matter.”
You won’t kill me without a fight. I will draw blood from you before I die. I will see it on your sister’s sword.
“It’s my fault,” Caio said. “I knew there would be a cost. Ilario told us not to go to Danato. Why didn’t I listen?”
“Because you don’t think things through. You trust and believe. You have too much faith. You knew Danato hates me. He’d kill you next just to drive me to the limits of sanity. We let him suck us into his corrupted world and now he’s going to take you to punish me even more.” Every word she spoke was a victory, k
eeping madness at bay. “In the underworld, Danato made me think you were dead. What if their prince kills you?”
“Lucia, he is a god of Lux Lucis. He is one with Ysa, with Galleazzo and Oderigo and Mya. He does not act against their interests or wishes. If the gods wish for me to do their bidding, they will not let another god kill me.”
“You are insane. He is not one of us. The nine should banish him from their ranks. He punishes us. He killed Ilario.”
Caio turned silent.
I could do something to make all of this go away. Fix everything.
She looked back at Caio’s silhouette. She needed to keep him alive. She needed to be ready in case he died. She stared at Ilario’s corpse.
Three days. Why did it have to be three days? Why not tomorrow? Why? Why? Damn it! Damn it forever. Why? Once I find out if Caio will need to be raised, Ilario’s soul will have left this world forever. My chance to resurrect Ilario will be gone … eternally gone.
Lucia pulled on Ebon’s reins and stopped the black mare. She freed her feet from the stirrups and let herself fall to the ground. A rock jabbed into her back and her body writhed involuntarily at the pain.
Caio dismounted and rushed to her. She wanted to tell him to take Ysa’s sword and run it through her. Lucia stood, gritted her teeth, and balled her fists.
She punched his chest over and over. He stood and took the blows.
Lucia let her body collapse onto the desert floor. Her face, already stinging from the Pawelon’s blows, pressed flat and heavy so that her bruised cheekbones kissed the harsh earth. The sting was sharp and raw.
I could still save Ilario. But what if you must be saved after your duel, brother? I can only raise one person from death …
Chapter 51: Dreams of Forever
RAO’S HANDS LOCKED TOGETHER under his skull as he stared up at the grey ceiling of his bed chamber, looking at nothing at all. The longer he lay there, the less dizzy he felt. Narayani covered his face with a warm, wet cloth. The otherworldly essences of some of Pawelon’s most exotic flowers flooded his awareness. She removed the cork on a glass container with a pop and dabbed a cool cream on his temples and neck, over his heart, and at his solar plexus. He tried to breathe consciously while she rubbed the salve into his skin. It burned at first, but rejuvenating shivers soon followed the heat.
“You should feel proud that you saved Aayu’s life,” Narayani said.
The killing had happened so quickly it felt like a reflex—as if it wasn’t even under his control. Did some invisible hand shape their destinies? Rao had even felt the Lux Lucis divinities there, but the only person who died was a Rezzian.
“I am not sure if I did anything,” he said.
He thought he knew who died. There were only three Rezzians there, and the Haizzem’s bodyguard went everywhere with him. It had to be him. It was still disturbing to remember the emotion in the air after the royal daughter screamed.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want to tell me about how you got there?” he asked.
“I told you. I came back and found your note and started walking to the lake. I didn’t expect to find you until I got there, if I could find you at all.”
“I can’t fathom how you escaped the citadel. Aayu seemed awfully skeptical.”
“I traveled all the way from Kannauj without anyone discovering me. All it took was the right disguise.”
“Could you hear our conversations?”
“Once I heard your voices I stayed far behind you. I was afraid if I came closer that you’d send me back.”
“Because if you want to talk about anything you heard, we can.”
“I couldn’t make out your words. I was too far away.”
Maybe she was telling the truth. Though if she’d heard the conversation about her background, she probably wouldn’t admit it.
“I want you to lay still and let the medicine work. If you keep following my advice, you can be healed before you have to fight.”
“I feel much better already, physically, except for the sensation in my head.”
“That’s because you feel overwhelmed and your body is telling you to rest. You need to relax your mind and save your energy for tomorrow.”
Rao exhaled loudly and felt a calm tingling in his chest. He recognized where she was right. His mind had been like a monkey stung by bees since the tragedy two nights ago. He’d never before known such guilt, and the feelings wouldn’t leave him alone.
He inhaled the scents and let himself be transported by them. The recent days spanned out like a panoramic timeline before his inner vision. He focused his attention on the last couple days, reliving the entire melee with the Rezzians. He breathed deeply as he recalled all that had occurred.
In the aftermath, he and Aayu managed to use Rao’s primary sadhana to escape and take Narayani with them, but they didn’t want to travel far in their wounded condition. They spent the night in the forest and the next day practiced intense healing breaths and ate medicinal herbs that Narayani found in the woods. By the end of that day, they were found by the soldiers his father sent. Even though Rao insisted on walking the next day, the men had orders to carry him on the throne they brought with them. At least the men had strong shoulders.
“I wish you weren’t doing this. I wish you would change your mind and leave here with me.” She took the cloth off his face and put it back in the wooden bowl. “Drink up.” She handed him yet another cup of ashwa tea.
He puckered his lips before letting more of the soul-rattling bitterness trickle down his throat. “We’ll be together when this is done, I promise you. We’ll get away from here as soon as we can.”
She fell to the bed and lay with her back turned to him. He heard a sob and then her voice carried the emotion. “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Let’s stay awake as long as we can. When they come for you, you can just tell them you’re not going. Their Haizzem looked so angry when I saw him.”
“After I defeat him and their army flees,” Rao knew his voice sounded flat, so he tried harder to sound reassuring, “we can go anywhere together. Think about that.”
“They’ll find another reason. They won’t stop.” Narayani’s brow relaxed and her eyes widened into pearls of compassion. She caressed Rao’s cheek. “It wasn't your fault the man died. He attacked you first.”
Rao didn’t want to cry, but his chest clenched and he felt moisture escaping his eyes. “I was just protecting Aayu. We were walking and laughing and then I saw the spear go into Aayu’s chest. Everything else was instinct. There was no deliberation behind what I did.”
“You had to do it then. You didn’t mean for him to die. It’s not your karma.”
“But I reversed the karma. I sent it back to him.”
“Then it isn’t your fault. He received the fruit of his own action. If he hadn’t received it then, he would’ve received it later.”
“But I became involved. Now I’ve entered that chain of reactions. It wasn’t completely an accident. I knew what could happen to him, even if only for an instant.”
“And what if you had let Aayu die? Wouldn’t that be worse karma for you?”
“Yes, I think it would have been worse.”
But I’m still involved now and I don’t want to die.
“When you kill their Haizzem and end this, you will make everything right. That will be good karma if you are able to save so many lives.”
“I hope so, for everyone’s sake.”
She snuggled closer and wrapped her warm legs around his, stirring his passion.
“Can you make me dream about you and make it last forever?” she asked. “I want to dream about going back with you, back through the mountains, past Kannauj and through the forests. I want to see the leaves flashing their colors. I want to go all the way out to the beaches in Ashown. I want to sit on the sand and watch you swim. We should make love in the middle of the day when no one else is around—hearing only the ocean. Slowly, so it lasts an eternity. I wa
nt to dream till the end of time, with just me and you together, only living on our love. Can you make me dream it?”
He wiped his face on her shoulder. “Narayani, we're going to have time to do all those things together. We’ll do it when this is over, I promise. Someday when we have children, they won’t have to grow up being afraid for their father’s life as you and I had to. We are going to make life better for everyone.”
“I don't want to live here anymore. I want to dream forever. With your powers, can’t you control dreams? Can’t you just make them last forever? We would be so much happier that way. You can let your father fight a duel. You’re too young. We should just be happy together.”
“Be with me now, my love. This is all we have. The future is always in doubt. Maybe I will die tomorrow. Maybe we'll die together a hundred years from now. The only thing we know is that this won't last forever. But I know how to fight him. His gods are a projection. They are just as false as this world. I know that. I will win.”
Rao knew that reason wasn’t going to get through to her now. She squeezed him so tightly that all he could feel was her soft flesh against his body.
“Just make me dream I'm with you tonight. Make it last forever. You can make it last forever.”
Neither said another word as sleep overcame them. In the dream they shared together, they rode off in an old wagon toward the mountains, stopping whenever possible to buy fruit and trinkets from the farmers and merchants along the roads that led throughout the charming hills of Pawelon toward the western sea ...
Chapter 52: The Weight of Death
A COOL MIST filled the chamber along with hints of sunrise. Rao woke up long before the darkness turned deep shades of purple and the birds’ songs welcomed the morning. He cherished the sound of Narayani’s uneven breathing.
A very long time passed.
Heavy footsteps and deep voices echoed from the stairwell. His heart seized up, hard and cold. He’d savored the intimate warmth of Narayani’s body against his own throughout the night, but those moments were gone forever. The day had begun. By nightfall, Rao would have either killed a beloved man or he himself would be dead.
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