by Karen Rose
Her eyes filled with tears. Crocodile tears. ‘I didn’t do it. It was the girl. I swear it.’
‘I left you alone for hours. I would have hoped you’d have used that time to come up with a better lie.’ He arranged his scalpels on the nightstand, enjoying the mindless panic that filled her eyes.
‘What are you doing?’ she whispered, horrified.
‘Making an example out of you, my dear. Just in case my next mistress gets any ideas about putting digitalis in my food.’ He chose his first tool with deliberate care. ‘Let’s see how loudly you can scream.’
Cincinnati, Ohio,
Friday 14 August, 2.05 A.M.
Hurry, hurry, hurry. Kate ran up the apartment stairs two at a time, her heart thundering, her eyes already burning with tears. Hurry or you’ll be too late.
She fumbled her keys in the front door, but the lock turned and she shoved the door open. Jack sat there in her easy chair, waiting, a mocking sneer on his face.
‘Stop,’ Kate pleaded. ‘Don’t do this.’
He shoved the barrel of the gun under his chin. ‘Now you tell me not to do it? Make up your mind, Kate. Kill or don’t kill? You can’t have it both ways.’
She took a step toward the chair, which he’d covered with her afghan. The one Gran had made her. ‘Don’t kill, Jack. Don’t.’ She got close enough to reach for him, to grab the gun, but he just laughed and pulled the trigger, and she screamed. And screamed and screamed.
‘Kate. Kate.’ Big hands on her shoulders, squeezing tight. No. No. She fought them off, but she was trapped. ‘Kate!’
She sucked in a breath and opened her eyes. And saw blue. Familiar blue. Like the sky.
Decker. She shuddered, trying to breathe, panting hard. She was wrapped in a blanket. Like a straitjacket. His arms wrapped around her over the blanket. ‘Let me go. Please.’
‘Look at me, Kate.’ He shook her a little, not hard enough to hurt. ‘I need you to breathe.’
She tried, but the air was sawing in and out of her lungs and she felt light-headed.
‘What happened?’ A female voice. Dani.
‘Nightmare,’ Decker said curtly. ‘Get me a bag or something for her to breathe into. Sshh.’ The soothing shushing was next to her ear. ‘You’re okay, Kate. You’re okay.’
No I’m not. I’ll never be okay again. But she nodded. ‘Yeah. I’m okay.’
Her body was moving. Rocking. Decker was rocking her and shushing in her ear. ‘You’re in the safe house. In Cincinnati. Safe. House,’ he reiterated.
She nodded, too exhausted to fight anymore. Closing her eyes, she dropped her head to rest on his chest. ‘What time is it?’
‘A little after two,’ he murmured, then turned his head. ‘Leave it on the nightstand. She’s okay for now.’
There was a rustle of paper, then Dani’s voice again. ‘The guard wants to come in and check on you both.’
No! Kate didn’t want anyone else to see her this way, wild and insane-looking. It was bad enough that Decker had seen her like this. Fucking hell.
‘No,’ Decker said firmly. ‘Tell him it was a nightmare. Hell, tell him I was screaming if you have to. Just don’t let him in here.’
A hand ghosted over her hair. ‘You okay, Kate?’ Dani asked softly.
Kate didn’t open her eyes, unwilling to see the pity in Dani’s. ‘I will be, thanks.’
The door closed, and Decker whispered, ‘It’s just me now. I’m going to let you go.’
Kate pressed her face harder into his chest when his arms loosened. ‘No. Not yet.’
He tightened his hold. ‘Okay. We’ll just sit here then.’
He twisted a little, grunting as he moved his body, taking her with him. He settled against the headboard, hitching her up so that she sat in his lap, all wrapped up like a burrito. Her mind prickled with memory. He’s hurt. He should be in bed, not me.
‘You can let me go now. I’m too heavy.’
‘Pfft,’ he scoffed. ‘Don’t be insulting, Agent Coppola.’
His drawl was thick tonight. His guard was down. ‘Did I wake you up?’
‘Nah. That shitty excuse for a hospital bed woke me up. Thing’s as hard as a rock, and I should know, because I’ve slept on rocks.’
Her lips curved, because she had too. ‘Rocks and sand and sand and sand.’
He exaggerated a shudder. ‘I hated that damn sand.’
‘Me too.’ She let out a little sigh when he rested his cheek on top of her head, just holding her. ‘I’m sorry if I scared you.’
‘Well, I did get a cardio workout when you screamed. I was glad I had that walker or I’d have fallen on my ass trying to get to you. You have one hell of a set of lungs, lady.’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ she said archly. ‘I didn’t hear me because I was asleep.’
He huffed a chuckle. ‘Let’s just say it would have curled my hair if I didn’t keep it so short.’ His hand, strong and heavy, stroked her hair. ‘It’s beautiful, by the way. Your hair. Like a sunset.’
Her heart settled into an easy rhythm. ‘Yours is too. It looks like spun gold.’ He made a strangled sound that had her grinning. ‘Like Thor and Cap all rolled into one.’
He groaned. ‘You’re going to give me indigestion.’
She laughed softly. ‘Right. Like you don’t know that your face makes women sigh.’
‘It’s a face, Kate,’ he said gruffly. ‘Kind of banged up at that.’
‘I like it. It’s a nice face.’
‘Hmm. Back atcha,’ he muttered, making her grin again.
She tried to move and he tightened his arms. ‘Just a little longer,’ he murmured.
‘I’m going to hurt you.’
‘Not like this. I was more worried when you were still asleep. You kind of . . . flailed.’
Horrified, she pulled away far enough to see his nice face. ‘Did I hurt you?’
He met her eyes squarely. ‘I’ve had a lot worse.’
‘Not from me!’
He palmed the back of her head and urged her back to his chest. ‘Don’t worry about it. Let me hold you for a little while.’
There was something in his voice that made her comply. He needed this too. ‘Can you at least let me get my hands free?’ He loosened the blanket until her arms were outside the burrito. She let herself relax against him, drawing a deep breath. He smelled good. Like soap and . . . chocolate. ‘Have you been in the brownies?’ she asked accusingly.
‘Yep,’ he said, unrepentant. ‘They were amazing.’
‘Were? Did you save any for Triplett and the others?’
‘Maybe. One or two. Really small ones.’
She sputtered. ‘I can’t believe you ate them all by yourself!’
‘Not all by myself. I did give a few to the night guard. I needed someone to stand outside the shower in case I fell on my ass. He agreed not to wake you or the doc if I shared the brownies. So I didn’t eat them all. Just most of them.’
‘Do I need to make another batch?’
‘Might not be a bad idea,’ he said cagily. ‘Chocolate helps me think.’
She pulled back again, this time to smile up at him. ‘Helps you think, huh?’
‘Hell, yeah. I was sitting at the kitchen table writing down all the ledger entries I saw just before Alice got herself arrested. That’s about the time her dad went batshit insane and everything fell apart. I didn’t get to see most of the ledgers. Whipple, the head accountant, he kept them locked up pretty tight. But one of the final days, I was in the head office helping Sean, the IT guy, with a few things and he had a copy.’ He paused and frowned. ‘Wait. He shouldn’t have had a copy, now that I think about it. I think I realized that then, too. The leadership team was careful not to keep anything electronic, at least nothing t
hat could be accessed online. Everyone kept their own records, so that if one of them went down, the others would be protected. But Sean had all of the records.’
‘But now he’s dead.’ Because she’d shot the getaway car and wrecked it. Two of the three passengers had been killed and the one who’d lived was worthless.
‘Not your fault,’ Decker said firmly. ‘I’m sure you all looked, but I gotta ask anyway. Did you find anything on him? Files or flash drives or anything like that?’
‘Nothing like that, and Forensics went over that car with a pair of tweezers. There was nothing in the car or on the passengers. Or in them, even. We X-rayed them and everything, to make sure they hadn’t swallowed anything. Could Sean have stashed the ledgers somewhere?’
‘Maybe. More likely he uploaded them to a server that only he knew about. He was kind of sneaky that way. Everyone thought he was this clueless, dorky geek when in reality he was planning a coup. Which he almost pulled off.’ He was quiet again, and she studied his face until he met her eyes. ‘What?’
‘I’m wondering where you just went. Your eyes kind of glazed over.’
‘I was looking at the computer screens in my mind. I’d sneak looks over Sean’s shoulder. Joel Whipple’s, too. They’d always change the screen really fast to something innocuous, but sometimes I got in a good peek or two.’
‘Zimmerman said you have an eidetic memory.’
‘Not entirely, but I do remember computer screens and pieces of paper. Faces to a much smaller extent.’
‘Let’s go to Vegas,’ Kate said lightly.
‘Right. They’d make you in a minute. You scream “Fed!” in blinking neon lights.’
‘Gee, thanks.’
‘Have you ever gone undercover?’
‘No,’ she admitted grumpily. ‘Change the subject.’
He chuckled, then sighed. ‘We need to find Sean’s files. Even if they have no link to this kiddie pornographer, they’ll tell us about their other customers and suppliers.’
‘Won’t the ledgers tell us that, too?’
‘Maybe, but I only caught glimpses. A page here and there. Plus the names on the accounts were all in code.’
‘I’m good at code.’ Code was just math.
‘So am I, but I don’t think I got enough for us to work with. You can try if you want to, but I think we’d do better to find Sean’s files.’
‘Where would we start?’
‘I’d say with Alice, because they were half-siblings, but she’s dead. Sean was a loner, really. I think he cared about Alice, but he didn’t really socialize with people. Not that anyone knew of, anyway. It’s like he lived at the office.’
‘Which we checked thoroughly as well,’ Kate said. They’d left no stone unturned.
‘Then I’ll think on it some more.’ He went back to stroking her hair. ‘I like it down. Your hair. I didn’t know it was so long. Halfway down your back.’
‘I usually braid it up so that it can’t get tangled while I sleep, but I think I fell asleep before I could do that.’ She snuggled against him, more content than she’d been in a long time. It had been so long since anyone had stroked her hair. ‘That feels nice.’
‘Good.’ His hand stilled after a few more strokes. ‘Kate, what were you dreaming about?’
She closed her eyes, the contentment vanishing like mist. ‘Jack.’
‘I thought so. Was that because I asked you about it tonight?’
He sounded like he felt guilty, and she couldn’t have that. ‘No. I had the dream most nights after he . . . you know.’
‘Killed himself.’
‘Yes. But it had calmed down recently, until I came here. I shot the guys in that getaway car and the dream started back. I think it might have been the gunshots that triggered it.’
‘No pun intended.’ He kissed her temple. ‘Have you talked to anyone?’
‘No,’ she said, more sharply than she’d intended. ‘Did you see a shrink after you lost Beth?’
‘No,’ he said, but kindly, making her feel like shit.
‘I’m sorry. I just don’t want to go there. Ever. With anyone.’
He drew a breath that expanded his chest, and her head rode the swell. ‘Got it.’
‘Decker, I . . . It’s . . . I can’t.’
‘Kate, I said I got it,’ he said mildly.
‘I really don’t think you do. It’s nothing to do with you.’
‘That’s what they all say,’ he said wryly.
‘But it’s true. If I tell a shrink, I could . . .’ I could lose my job. I could go to prison. And Decker would not look at me the way he has today. ‘It wouldn’t be nice, that’s all.’
‘Kate, I said I got it. You don’t have to explain.’
But she did. She would. Someday. If they went any further. She owed any man the courtesy of deciding whether or not he could live with what she’d done. Jack sure as hell hadn’t been able to. But she’d do it again. In a heartbeat.
Decker made a grumpy sound. ‘Dammit, woman, you’re thinking too loud. Swallow or spit it out, but don’t chew it to death.’
She stared up at him. ‘That’s revolting.’
He smiled smugly. ‘But you aren’t thinking about what you were thinking about anymore.’
‘You give me a headache, Decker.’
‘Then I’ll rub it away.’ He pulled her close to him again, one hand massaging the back of her head, making her moan. ‘Hush that moaning or the doc will think we’re hanky-pankying and she’ll come back to investigate.’
She laughed quietly. ‘Yes, sir.’
‘That’s better,’ he said, humor in his voice. ‘Sshh now. Get some sleep while you can.’
She rubbed her cheek against his chest. ‘You too.’
‘Not in that torture device. I’ll sleep on the couch.’
‘Or . . . you could stay here,’ she offered tentatively.
He immediately slid down so that his head was on the pillow. ‘Thought you’d never ask.’ He fixed her blanket burrito so that she lay chastely at his side and closed his eyes. ‘Go to sleep. No loud thinking.’
‘Yes, sir.’ She slid her hand under his shirt, which was another button-up style. Except that he hadn’t buttoned it up. It hung open, displaying every ridge and ripple of muscle, including a six-pack that was as close to heaven as a woman could hope for. Avoiding the bandage that covered his healing wounds, she caressed his smooth chest, petting him, feeling his rumble of approval tickling her palm. ‘Decker? The light’s still on.’
Eyes closed, he fumbled for the switch at the base of the lamp on the nightstand. A second later, the room was plunged into darkness, the only illumination the red glow of the digital clock. Carefully she pushed up on her elbow so that she could look at him. The clock’s glow reflected off the gold of his hair, giving it a strawberry tinge. His face was in shadow, but she could still see the strong jaw, the sharp cheekbones, and the nose that was slightly less than straight – and covered by a surprising smattering of freckles. He looked rugged and boyish all at once.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. Firm and soft. His mouth had been soft. She still couldn’t believe she’d kissed him like that. She wasn’t sure what had come over her.
But she was glad she’d taken the initiative. She’d needed to know. Now she did.
He’d rocked her with a single kiss, just like Johnnie had. Did people get second chances like this? Really? It seemed too good to be true. I guess time will tell. For now, she planned to enjoy the anticipation. Because Decker made her want things she hadn’t wanted in so very long. Things she’d thought she’d never want again after telling Johnnie goodbye. But now she wanted.
She wanted those big hands on her skin. All of her skin. And that piece he’d been packing . . . Mother Mary. He’d bee
n so damned hard when she’d sat on his lap that she’d needed to get up to keep from grinding against him, from putting that iron ridge to good use.
Her gaze dropped lower and her breath caught. He’d changed out of the khaki shorts he’d been wearing into a loose-fitting pair of sweats. Thank you, God.
Because he was hard again and the sweats did nothing to disguise the fact. That was what she’d felt in the kitchen earlier. That’s for me. Because of me. Face growing hot, she winced at a little throb in her lip. She’d been biting it as she stared.
Her fingers flexed once before she tightened them into a fist. How would he feel in her hand? Her mouth? Her body? She shivered at the thought. He’d be gentle sometimes, but he’d also be rough. Either way, he’d be amazing. She just knew it.
She sucked in a breath when the object of her fascination suddenly bobbed, accompanied by a harsh, shuddering exhale next to her ear.
Her face, already flushed, now flamed. Busted. Slowly she dragged her gaze up his body to meet blue eyes that . . . smoldered. Without saying a word, he shoved his fingers into her hair, grabbing a handful and pulling her into a kiss so hot she thought she’d combust. She gripped the back of his head, following his lead when he used her hair to angle her head, perfecting the fit of her lips over his. He licked at her lips and she opened for him without a second thought. He licked up into her mouth, tasting her. Claiming her. Making her whimper.
So much need, all bottled up. Mine. His. I could have it. I could have all that energy focused only on me. And she wanted it. She wanted it so much that when he let go of her hair to grab her hand, she didn’t question. She just let him. Let him tangle his fingers with hers. Let him drag her hand down his body, to that iron ridge that strained against the soft fabric of his sweats.
He let go of her hand, releasing her a scant inch away from his erection. His hips surged, but he left the decision up to her.
Breathing hard, she lifted her head enough to see his face. His eyes were clenched shut, his jaw taut. His lips moved, but no sound emerged. Please. Touch me.