by RJ Moore
Lacey is the last to leave and after I shut the door behind her, I fall into the couch with a sigh. My morning sickness seems to be gone for the most part, but I still get exhausted easily. Ian sits down on the opposite end of the couch, rubbing my feet.
“So I’ve been meaning to tell you, I got a big contract and will have to leave early in the morning. I’m going to be gone for about two weeks.” He sounds miserable.
“That’s great. Why do you sound so glum?” I turn around so I can lay my head in his lap. He starts running his fingers through my hair and I have to force myself not to groan out loud.
“I’ve always been excited to leave for a job, but I’m really going to miss you.”
“Don’t be such a pansy!”
His mouth falls open, looking down at me in shock. “Pansy?! I’ll show you pansy!” He starts tickling my sides, making me squeal.
“Okay, okay. You’re not a pansy!” I’m out of breath from laughing so hard. I grab his hand, giving his fingers little kisses. “I do have to work in the morning so I better get going.” I yawn, getting up off his lap. Ian walks me out to my truck, kissing me until I finally have to push him away before we get too carried away. I watch him watch me drive down his driveway until I finally disappear behind the trees.
Ian’s job turns out bigger than he expected. He is gone for two weeks, home for one, then has to be gone for another two weeks. Our relationship seems to be steadily growing, even when he’s away. We text and call each other every day. My thoughts during the day are always occupied by either Ian or work. When he’s home, we switch off between spending the nights at his place and mine.
When he’s gone, however, I have no distraction. As tired as I am at the end of the day, I can’t turn my mind off. I need to start a letter to my parents. It’s the one thing in my life so far that I feel isn’t complete. I know if I call them out of the blue, I’ll probably turn into a blubbering idiot. If I sit down and write them a letter, I can take my time thinking about exactly how to put everything I’m feeling down.
I go to the kitchen and pull out the paper that’s still on the table. I tap my pen against my chin, thinking on how to start. I’m no good at this, but I’m determined.
Duke trots in and lies on my feet, acting as my heating blanket. I wiggle my toes in appreciation. He has such a calming effect on me. I close my eyes, letting that calm run through my body.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you’re probably still mad at me, but I want to let you know that I’m doing well—more than well, actually. I know you both may be disappointed in me for my decision to leave and I hope my actions caused no repercussions for you. However, I would like you to know how I feel in regards to my decision. I love this baby more than anything. I left with no real knowledge of the world and how to survive on my own. I now have my own house, have met some amazing people, and have a job to support myself. I was never happy in life where I was and since coming here, I have become a person I hope you both would be proud of. I hope that one day, you’ll find it in your hearts to forgive me. I would like nothing more than for you to be part of your grandchild’s life. I love and miss you both.
Evelyn
I stare at the letter, reading it over twice. Does it sound too formal? No, of course not. My parents always believe in straightforwardness. I’m starting to get a headache from reading this letter so many times; I need to go bed to clear my head.
I climb into bed and Duke jumps up as I’m pulling the covers over me. He does three circles and then lies down at the end of the bed. Then he gets back up and does three more circles, followed by digging a hole in my blankets.
“Duke! Lay down!”
He lifts his head up, staring at me. I lift my eyebrows at him and he responds by snorting before plopping down. I can’t help but let out a little laugh. Crazy dog.
I’m so incredibly tired but sleep is evading me. Part of me hopes my parents respond back to the letter, but the other part simply hopes that maybe they’ll ignore me, leaving me to my happiness that is growing here away from them. Do I want Ian to meet them? Do I want to keep him far away from them? Yes, to both. I would love nothing more than for my parents to accept me, accept my decisions, and Ian is part of the decisions I’ve made. On the other hand, I want to shield him from their judgmental ways.
My brain is going back and forth so much that the headache that was starting is almost full blown. I need to sleep, so I employ a technique from when I was younger that always helped me fall asleep. I have no idea where I learned it from but one night, I focused hard on a specific part of my body, telling each part to relax until my entire body was relaxed. I guess I sort of hypnotize myself.
I get in the most comfortable position I can, not moving. Starting at my toes, I mentally go through each body part. Is it weird? Yes, but this weirdness works somehow.
Once I mentally go through every part of my body, starting with my toes and working slowly all the way to my head, my body finally falls into a deep slumber.
“Evelyn, darling!” My mom envelops me in a hug before cupping my cheeks in her hands, smiling down at me. “We’ve missed you so much. Come see your father, honey.” She bends down, kissing my forehead before grabbing my hand to lead me into the family room where my dad sits in his chair.
My dad looks up, smiling brightly at me. He sets his newspaper down and stands up, holding his arms out wide, inviting me to come hug him.
“Evelyn.”
I rush over to hug him but something stops me from reaching him. I look down to my stomach protruding out so far that I would have to turn sideways to be able to hug to my father.
I look back up and see him frowning down at me. He crosses his arms as a look of disgust crosses his face. I hear a gasp behind me and turn to see my mother coming to stand next to my father. She purses her lips and her arms cross, mimicking my father’s.
I try to open my mouth to explain when I feel my body is being sucked backward. I try to yell for them to help me. I don’t want to leave them. I hold my arms out, trying desperately to grab their hands and hold on.
“Mom! Dad! Help me. Don’t let me go!” Right as I’m about to reach their hands, they both reel their bodies back.
“You don’t exist to us anymore.”
How could they say such a thing? I’m their daughter, their flesh and blood. I feel my heart break into a million pieces and close my eyes, letting whatever it is suck me down.
I’m spiraling down a black hole, not caring where it takes me when something tugs on my hand. I don’t want to look up to find out what has me, but the warmth that starts to flow through me gets the better of me and I peek up. I have to squint at the bright light that is suddenly there when a large silhouette appears.
“Come back,” the voice echoes. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll never let you go.” I hear the soothing voice keep chanting the same thing over and over.
I peel my eyes open when the annoying peep of my alarm won’t stop. Ugh, what a weird dream. I don’t even want to try to evaluate what it meant. Maybe my indecisiveness with reaching out to my parents is giving me nightmares. Who knows?
I reach over and grab my phone to turn the alarm off. When I unlock my phone, I see I already have a text from Ian. I smile before even reading it.
Honey Bunches: Good morning sweetheart. I wish I was there to see your beautiful face when you wake up. I hope you had sweet dreams.
Me: Good morning. I wish you were here too. My dreams were not so good. I’ll tell you about them later. I better get up and put some clothes on for work ;)
Honey Bunches: What are you wearing?
Honey Bunches: Never mind…
Honey Bunches: Ok now I’m dying here and need to know
Me: Just the blanket for now…
Honey Bunches: I really hate work. And I’m so jealous of that blanket right now
Me: LOL, I’ll stop torturing you. Get back to work, Mr. Masters
Honey Bunches: Yuck, way to ru
in it. Only my dad is Mr. Masters
Me: LOL, you’re a dork. Fine, no more Mr. Masters.
Honey Bunches: That’s better! I can’t wait to see you
Me: Me either. Now get back to work!
Honey Bunches: Yes ma’am!
Work goes by fast and by the end of the day, I have payments and invoices ready to be mailed out. I decide to go through with sending my letter to my parents. Coming to a stop at the post office, I take a deep breath before slipping the letter, along with all the work-related mail, through the slot to be sent off.
I still am unsure of what I want the outcome to be exactly. I like my new life I’m building here and don’t want them to ruin an ounce of it, but not knowing if they want to be in my life is worse.
I lean my head back against the headrest. Well, there’s no turning back now. I reached out to them, and now it’s in their hands. I hear a ding so I dig through my purse until I find my phone.
Baby Catcher: Hey Eve, are you busy?
I have to chuckle at the name Scarlett was dubbed. I really need to sit down to go through my phone contacts since Lacey got a hold of it.
Me: Nope. Just got off work. What’s up?
Baby Catcher: I need a huge favor!
Me: Sure. Anything!
Baby Catcher: I have to go into work and desperately need a babysitter.
Me: Of course. When do you need me?
Baby Catcher: As soon as you can get here.
Me: I’m on my way! What’s your address?
I paste Scarlett’s address in my phone as soon as I get it. It’s not far from where I am and in less than five minutes, I’m pulling up to her apartment. If I wanted to live inside the city limits, I would definitely move into these apartments. Everything is neat and tidy, and the best part is each door is my favorite color: red.
I’m a little nervous to be babysitting Conner. I’ve never babysat any kid before, so I have no idea what I’m doing.
This is good practice.
Walking up to her door, I knock twice, and the door flings open before I can put my hand down. Scarlett grabs my hovering hand, pulling me inside. I stumble from the momentum but she is back to throwing equipment in her bag so she doesn’t even notice.
“Thank you so much for coming. Lacey is out rescuing horses or something like that. Ian and Dad are out of town so Mom is busy with her cooking class. You have no idea how much you’re saving my life right now!”
She is packing her bag at a rapid pace, not even looking up at me.
“Conner is eating dinner right now, so you don’t have to worry about cooking anything. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, just depends on how fast the baby comes.”
I force myself to stop fidgeting, trying to act as cool as I can. “No problem. I’m glad I can help. Don’t worry about the time. We’ll have fun.”
That sounded good, right?
I stand taller to appear more confident, even though Scarlett still hasn’t looked up from her bag.
Conner runs into the room, wrapping his arms around both my legs.
“Evie!” He beams up at me and I giggle at the amount of food covering his face.
“Hey Conner.” I bend down to give him a hug, trying my hardest to avoid his messy face.
“Conner, you listen to Eve. I have to go to work for a little bit so Eve is in charge while I’m gone.” I’m surprised the zipper hasn’t broken once Scarlett finally gets the bag closed. It’s so full that it takes a couple tries before zipping closed all the way. She walks over to Conner, giving him a hug and kiss before she ruffles his dark hair.
“Thank you so much again,” she says while giving me a quick hug. “The number to the birthing center is on the fridge if you need anything.” She yells bye as she’s running out the door.
“Let’s build a fort!” Conner grabs my hand, trying with all his might to pull me along. “Come on, Evie, come on!”
“How about we get you cleaned up first?” I steer him into the kitchen so I can soak a handful of paper towels. It takes a full minute before I finally get him clean with all his bouncing.
“Okay all done. Now let’s go build some awesome forts.”
Conner yells in excitement, hopping out of the kitchen like a kangaroo. Geez, I wish I had some of his energy! I quickly start cleaning up Conner’s mess as fast as I can then text Quinn to check on Duke for me. Before I can hit send, Conner is yelling for me.
“Evie! Hurry!”
“Coming.” Walking into the living room, I raise my brows. “What are you doing?”
Conner is in the process of taking all the cushions off the couch. “Making a fort, of course.” He starts trying to stand each cushion up but they keep falling down. “Okay, you hold these and I’ll stack them.”
Once they are exactly how Conner wants them, he grabs all the blankets he can find, covering the cushions. He crawls under, yelling at me to follow him inside. As soon as I squeeze my body under, Conner crawls back out.
“Hey! Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He runs off, leaving me to sit wondering if I should be following him or not. A moment later, he’s back with an armful of books.
“Okay, now we can read stories!” I pick up a dinosaur book after he dumps all of them on my lap. After making a bed out of pillows, we get comfortable and I start reading story after story.
I open my eyes to the sound of clicking. Scarlett is standing above us, taking pictures with an expensive looking camera. She gives me a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, it was way too cute, and I couldn’t resist.”
Geez, I didn’t realize I fell asleep. Oh shit, I fell asleep while babysitting! My left arm is numb and I look down to see Conner using it as a pillow. His mouth is wide open, and drool is running down onto my arm. Gross! As gently as I can, I slide my arm out from under him.
“Oh my gosh! I-I’m so sorry I fell asleep.” I feel awkward as I try to tame down my wild hair, not knowing what to say. “What time is it?”
Scarlett merely smiles, waving her hand like it’s no big deal. “It’s after ten. You guys were tired. Sorry, it took longer than I thought it was going to. I hope he behaved for you.”
“He was great. Any time you need help, you let me know.” Standing up, I rub my face, hoping I don’t have raccoon eyes.
“Wow, you’re really starting to show now. You should be able to find out the sex soon.”
I cup my belly with my hands, grinning from ear to ear. “I can’t wait.”
She arches her eyebrow. “Not afraid anymore?”
“No. I think once I came to terms with the whole thing, I stopped being so afraid. I’m just excited now. Having you guys around has helped wonders, though. I don’t know what I would have done without all of you.”
“You would have been all right. You’re tough and strong-willed.”
“Thank you.” I hug her tightly without any thought, and surprisingly she hugs me back. “See you later?”
“Call my office tomorrow.” She leads me to the door, holding it open for me. “I think next week we should be able to find the sex out.”
I thank her again and say my goodbyes before moseying over to my truck. Realizing I haven’t talked to Ian all day, I check my phone to see three texts from him. I don’t want to text and drive, so I opt for calling him. It rings once before Ian answers.
“Hello stranger.”
“Hi. Sorry, it’s been a crazy a day. You’ll never guess what I was just doing.”
“I’m gonna guess…skydiving?”
“Yeah, it was awesome. How did you know?”
I wait for him to say something but he is silent. I burst out laughing. “I was babysitting Conner, you nerd!”
“Nerd?! You’re lucky I’m not there right now.”
I haven’t stopped smiling and my face is starting to hurt.
“So how did it go with Conner?”
“He was great. We both fell asleep in a fort of pillows. I thought Scarlett
would be furious with me for falling asleep when I was supposed to be watching him.”
“Nah, she wouldn’t be mad. We all fall asleep when we have to watch him at night for her. I’m glad you had a good time.”
“Me too. Oh, and I will probably be able to find out the sex of the baby next week!”
“That’s great.”
There is a long pause, only the sound of him breathing coming through the line. “I miss you. I know it’s only been a day, but I miss you all the same.”
“I miss you too.”
“Well, I just pulled up to my house so I better go. Goodnight Ian.”
“Sweet dreams, Evie.”
My heart does a little pitter patter. I hang up the phone, making my way to Duke, who is barking madly at me from the back yard. Opening the gate, he runs out and proceeds to do his excited twirls.
“Come on you goof.” He follows me inside, going straight for his food dish. He doesn’t stop his twirling until I fill his bowl to the top with food.
It’s late and as tired as I am, I should go fall face first into bed, but my mind is going a million miles an hour. Between being anxious to know how the letter to my parents will play out and being overly excited to find out if I’m having a little girl or little boy, my nerves feel shot.
Hoping a hot bubble bath will help relax me, I start to fill the tub. While I wait, I heat up a mug of hot water in the microwave and put a tea bag in. Somehow, I time them perfectly, because they end up being ready at the same time.
I slowly slide into the hot water. Once my whole body is completely submerged, I take a sip of my tea then prop my legs up on the side of the tub. Right as I lay my head back, closing my eyes, an idea pops into my head.
I sit up, glancing over to see that my phone is on the counter, right in my reach. I grab it, holding on tight. Knowing my luck, I’ll drop in the water. I put my legs back where they were, attempting to get them in the sexiest pose as I can. I snap a picture and I’m pleasantly surprised with how it turns out. My legs are slightly bent, looking longer than they actually are. The bubbles in the background leave nothing to the imagination as to what I’m doing. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I feel so confident with Ian.