Married to a Brownsville Bully 1

by Jahquel J

  “All I’m trying to do is look out for my brother in law. Raise your voice at me again and I’ll beat the shit out of you.” She pointed her finger in Yolani’s face and walked back inside.

  Waving her off, Yolani took a pull from her blunt. “She ain't gonna do shit. More bark than the actual bite,” she slumped further down in the seat and pulled on her blunt. “The fuck!” she yelled when Hazel slapped her in the face.

  “The bark is pretty vicious too.” Hazel smirked and went back inside the house while me and Grape had tears in our eyes.

  “You went and married you a feisty one. When have you know Hazel to sit back and let you talk crazy to her?” Grape choked out as he laughed.

  Yolani’s face was beet red as she sat there with the bent blunt in her lips. “Sis, you need to stop fucking around with her. She ain't those bitches you be fucking with.”

  “She ‘bout to be sleeping alone tonight for that shit. Bet,” she vented more to herself than us.

  Yolani liked to test the waters when it came to Hazel. She liked to push her and see how much she loved her. The shit she put this girl through was far worse than any nigga she been with. You couldn’t be everything for someone when you were broken. Yolani didn’t like to admit shit, but she been fucked up for years over witnessing our mother being murdered in front of her. She liked to use the streets as a cover-up and not deal with her feelings. The way she ran the streets for days at a time and didn’t return home told me she didn’t give a fuck about anything except herself.

  “You about to stay out all night because of that?” Grape asked as he rolled another blunt. Yolani straightened out the blunt, put it to her lips and took a long pull.

  “She not about to get on my fucking nerves tonight. Once we leave here, she’s gonna be all in her feelings and shit. Nah, I plan to dip out and have someone scoop me.”

  “Lani…” she heard my voice and waved me off.

  “Chill. I’m not inviting no one here. I’ll catch a Uber to the city or something.” She switched her story.

  “Business is good. You can chill for the night; you need to spend time with wifey.”

  The way she cut her eyes at me, I knew she wasn’t going to listen to shit I was saying. Yolani was hard headed and was going to do what she wanted. Hazel had pissed her off so now she wanted to get back at her for pissing her off. If she knew how lucky she was, she would understand that you only got that one person in life that was your first love. Ashleigh happened to be mine, and it took for her to become sick for me to see that the streets don’t give a damn about your family or your personal shit.

  “I keep telling you that what you’re looking for isn’t in the streets. She’s at home and waiting for you to get your shit together.”

  “Why the fuck everyone wanna preach to me? I take care of her and I’m there when it matters. Hazel ain’t all that fucking innocent. Why the fuck y’all think I’m always leaving and shit?”

  “Don’t matter. That girl is calling out for you to spend time with her. Shit, I’m not even around, and I could see the shit. Kid, don’t be so worried about these streets and forget about your home,” Grape advised and she continued to pull on her blunt.

  Knowing my sister, I knew she wasn’t listening to a damn thing that came out of either mine or Grape’s mouth. She already had her mind made up and was going to do what she wanted. Hazel or no one was going to switch her mind. She had to want to make shit right with her wife, and sadly, I didn’t think she cared all too much to do that.

  “I gotta use the bathroom,” she sniffled and got up and went inside the crib.

  Grape turned toward me and shook his head. “You know you can pull the plug on this. The only reason this shit is happening is because of you. Your mind ain’t been in the streets for some time.”

  “Can’t do this to her. This is all she has and it means a lot to her.”

  “It ain’t all she has. She has a wife at home, wanting her to be there. Yolani is nothing like you, she’s a loose cannon who listens to herself. Even I can’t advise her without having to argue with her.”

  “You know she doesn’t want me breathing over her neck. You’re the best thing to help keep her on course.”

  “Yeah, but your sister has a mind of her own. What she wants is what she’s going to do, point blank. These niggas fear the shit out of her, but they don’t respect her. How many more bodies is she going to lay down, when it could be avoided?”

  “You’re right. Give me some time to think on what I want to do. Right now, it’s about family and Ashleigh, not business.”

  “For sure. How you feeling about today?”

  “I’m good. Life moves on, and every day I realize that, although I needed her here, God needed her more than I did.”

  Grape patted me on the shoulder. “It’s hard for us to accept, but the man above doesn’t make any mistakes. Trust that he has a plan for you and it’ll be unmapped when he’s ready for you to receive it.”

  “Appreciate that, man.” I dapped him and leaned back.

  We continued to smoke weed, talk and stare out at the lake behind my crib. I leaned back further in the chair and got more chilled from the weed. As I was about to ask Grape something, we heard a glass break and Pit Pat scream. Jumping up, both me and Grape ran inside and saw Hazel standing there with her hand bleeding and a broken crystal plate in her hand.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry. Yolani pissed me the fuck off. How the fuck she gonna come and tell me she got business to handle and leave? We’re spending time as a family,” she vented as she placed the broken piece on the counter, and then bent down to pick up the broken pieces.

  “She cracked the plate with her hand; woman has gone mad,” Pit Pat nervously chuckled and came back with the broom and dust pan.

  “Sorry, Pit Pat. Your granddaughter irks my nerves sometimes,” she apologized and went over to hug Pit Pat. Pit Pat loved the shit out of Hazel, and she could do no wrong in her eyes. According to Pit Pat, it was Yolani that needed to get her shit together, not her. I couldn’t say that I didn’t agree.

  “Haze, just stay the night. It’s late and you don’t need to be driving back alone. Pit Pat, I’m ‘bout to go lay down.”

  “Okay, baby.” She smiled and gave me a hug. “Grape, come on so I can fix you some food to go.” She pulled him by his hand.

  “I’ll get up with you tomorrow, G.”

  “Bet.”

  As I climbed the stairs, all I thought about was Ashleigh. How I wished I could be climbing the steps with her up to our bedroom to relax. It got lonely sleeping alone every night and not having someone to call your own. Yeah, I could call Eva over, and she would gladly come over, but she wasn’t on my mind, and I didn’t feel like pretending tonight. I didn’t feel like pretending I wanted to be laid up with her, while my mind was on Ashleigh. Peeling my shirt off, I sat on the couch in my room and flipped on Netflix. After scrolling for some time, I settled on a documentary and soon after, I fell asleep.

  5

  Golden

  It had been a month since I moved in with Cindy. Things were going great until Darian moved in to the apartment. The vibe went from stress free to stressful. The nigga lost his job so all he and Cindy did was argue. My baby went to sleep with his hands over his ears every night. It made me consider if sleeping the car wasn’t so bad. The only time it was quiet was when either Darian or Cindy left. She left for work and he left to run the streets with his homeboys. When he didn’t come home at night, Cindy stayed up all night crying in my arms about him. When I left my drama, this wasn’t what I signed up for. All I wanted to do was to work, stack my money and move out as soon as I could. Instead, I was stuck cooking, cleaning and trying to make sure my son was good while we lived with two grown adults.

  Cindy worked as much as I did and when she was off, she spent her time pampering herself. The laundry, dishes or anything else that needed to be cleaned wasn’t a concern to her. I was struggling wi
th picking up the slack of her household and trying to work two jobs. In my heart, I knew I needed to accept these conditions because it afforded us a warm place to sleep at night. Gyan was so excited and happy to have somewhere that wasn’t the backseat his home. I tried my hardest to make the best of the shitty conditions I was subject to. All I dreamed and prayed about were the days I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone. The day I could provide for my son without having my hands out to anyone else.

  “Hey, Gold, what you doing home early?” Cindy came out the bedroom dressed in her Target uniform.

  “The pipe burst at work so they sent us all home. I’m pissed because I could have used the money from today.”

  Clearly, my issues wasn’t her concern because she popped some candy in her mouth and grabbed her purse. “Darian is asleep in the bedroom. He had an interview and he’s exhausted, so please tell Gyan to keep it down.”

  “He had an interview, he didn’t work a shift,” I replied, confused on what being exhausted had to do with going to an interview.

  “You know how it is when you’re job hunting.” She headed to the door and then stopped to turn around. “Oh, and he said that Gyan broke his PlayStation 4. Something about it making funny noises.”

  “Bullshit. I watch Gyan each time he plays. He is careful with it and I don’t allow him to do anything extra on it.”

  “He was playing it the night you worked late.”

  “And who’s fault is that? I told you that he’s not to play with the game when I’m not home. Especially since that night was a school night.”

  “W…well, he wants the money for it or for you to pay for it be replaced.”

  “He gonna be waiting on that for the rest of his life. I’m not paying for that shit. Especially not when I told you to not to let him on the game. You either use your discount at Target, or he buys himself a new one.”

  “We’ll talk about it when I come home tonight. Golden, me and Darian are in a good space and I don’t want tension in the house.”

  “Oh, there won’t be no tension between me. My son didn’t break shit, and I’m not paying for a game system for a grown man that doesn’t have a job. The game is the least of his issues,” I raised my voice some.

  Cindy’s eyes damn near jumped out her sockets as she tried to quiet me. “We’ll talk about to tonight when I get home,” she repeated before she left.

  Rolling my eyes, I locked the door behind her and went to the kitchen. After being sent home early, I tried to pick up some extra hours at Target, but no one called out. This was God’s sign that I needed to spend the day with my baby boy when he got out of school. Besides the hour we spent watching TV before bed, we hadn’t done anything fun. Tonight, I planned on surprising him with some pizza and bowling. It was rare that we did anything fun that caused for me to pay cash for it. This would be a small treat to make him smile.

  I sat at the kitchen table watching Maury when Darian came from the back. He stood there with his underwear on and no shirt, stretching like I wanted to see him. Pulling my phone out, I checked my messages and acted like I hadn’t noticed him.

  “You didn’t make me none? Damn, you staying in my crib and can’t even make me something to eat,” he complained as he looked at the stove and my empty plate.

  “The fuck am I making you anything to eat? You have two hands right there, so there’s no need for me to make you anything.”

  “You would think because you owe me mon—”

  “I don’t owe you shit, Darian. That bullshit you told Cindy may have convinced her, but I know for a fact you had your little bum ass friends here the other day. Stop trying to blame my son to get a new game system. Pathetic ass,” I rolled my eyes and placed my plate in the sink.

  He towered over me and stared at me like I was a damn juicy steak he wanted to devour. “You could just let me fuck and I’ll forget all about it.” He pulled me towards him by my waist.

  Turning around, I slapped the shit out of him and went into the living room. “Don’t ever fucking touch me in your entire life. Even if I was a shady bitch, you would be the last person I let fuck me. Nigga, you don’t even got a fucking job and you trying to fuck me. Nigga please!” I yelled and grabbed my car keys. Gyan got out of school in twenty minutes and I wanted to surprise him by picking him up. Darian stood there with a smirk on his face as he continued to watch my body.

  “You still owe me that bread,” he countered and went to the back room.

  Soon as I got into my car, I dialed Cindy’s number, and she sent me to voicemail. I called her back three more times and each time I was hit with her voicemail. Tossing my phone into my purse, I pulled off and headed to my Gyan’s school. With how things ended when she left earlier, I knew she was pissed and needed time. Once she cooled off, I planned on telling her what went down with Darian when she left. That nigga wasn’t who she needed to be with and she was. I think Cindy just wanted someone to give her dick on the regular. She was square shaped with no real shape, and guys usually overlooked her. Darian got the right one because she allowed him to do whatever he wanted, and she just tolerated the things he did for the sake of some dick. It wasn’t that much dick in the world that could make me turn a blind eye to a no-good ass nigga. Hell, I was married to rich dick, and I couldn’t and didn’t turn a blind eye to the shit he was doing.

  Cindy just wanted a relationship where she could build with someone. Darian wasn’t the man for her to do that, and she acted like she didn’t know. Deep down, she knew that he wasn’t right for her and that she couldn’t have a family with him. Their relationship would always be stuck in one place with no room for growth. He would never be able to travel to all the countries she dreamed of visiting, have children and buy a home. She wouldn’t be able to have that because he was content with her paying all the bills while he sold what little weed he got on consignment from his cousin. Soon as the money hit his hands, the nigga was either drinking or smoking the shit up. Not to mention, he had a record, so he couldn’t even get a decent city job. So, how was she going to build and have a life with this man? Simple, she couldn’t.

  “Is everything alright? Did you get fired?” Gyan questioned as he climbed into the front seat of my car.

  “Dang? You gotta think the worst happened? I just wanted to pick you up from school today, that’s all.”

  “Can we afford that?” Was his next question. It truly made me see that my son had to grow up sooner than I wanted him to. Instead of being happy his mother was picking him up from school, he was worried about if I got fired or if we could afford the time I took off work. It was sad and it bothered me.

  Touching his face, I smiled. “Gyan, I’m the parent, remember? Any decision I make will always be for the good. It may not seem like it, but it is always for us to be better.”

  “Okay. Where’s Cindy’s sister?”

  “Cindy’s sister?”

  “Yeah, she picks me up when Cindy goes into work early.” When Gyan explained what Cindy was doing, it further pissed me off. She had caught me off guard with Darian’s stupid game system that I hadn’t noticed she was leaving early for work when she was supposed to be picking up Gyan.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Cindy told me to keep it between the both of us. She said that she didn’t want you to worry and she had to work to pay bills too. I just didn’t want us to be kicked out her apartment because she couldn’t pay the bills.”

  “Gyan, you need to start telling me stuff. In this whole entire world, all we have is each other. We can’t trust other people because they have let us down before. When someone tells you to keep something from me, that means they’re being shady, and you should tell me… okay?”

  “Got it. Won’t happen again, Ma.”

  “Ma?”

  “Mommy is for babies. All the boys in my school say Ma,” he further explained.

  “Well, I’m not their mama’s, I’m yours and I like mommy.”

  “Okay, Mommy,” he mumbled,
and I laughed before pulling off from his school. “Where are we going?”

  “We’re going to get some pizza and bowl. I haven’t kicked your butt in bowling in months,” I reminded him and he laughed.

  “Mom, you always lose and get mad.”

  “Oh, shush up, boy.” I mushed him and continued to drive to the bowling alley. I download a Groupon that allowed us to get enough food and a game of bowling with the rental of the shoes. Tonight, we were going to focus on having fun together and not all the problems we had to face in the morning. It was me and my baby boy against the world, and I was fine with that.

  “What the hell?” I sucked my teeth as I messed with my key in the lock. It always got stuck and then I had to knock on the door for someone to let me in.

  Banging on the door as I held Gyan’s heavy self, I waited for Cindy to open the door. Gyan had bowled and played arcade games while stuffing his face with pizza. He did it until the place closed and then he made me promise to take him back. Seeing the look on his face told me that I needed to do this more often. As a kid, he needed to do more fun things, and as his mother, I needed to make it happen for him. On the ride back home, he talked about school and his teachers until he fell asleep. I carried him a block to Cindy’s building and up the stairs since the elevator was stuck on the third floor. My back and legs was killing me, and I just wanted to lay him down on the couch and catch my breath. Not to mention, it started snowing, and the radio was talking about the mayor possibly closing schools because of some cyclone bomb. They named the storms after anything these days. Either way, I was grateful to have a warm and safe place to ride this storm out in.

  The doors jingled, and the door was opened. Cindy stuck her head out the small crack and looked at me with disgust on her face. “You can come and pick up all your things in the morning. I tried to be a good friend and allow you to stay here, and you go and try to fuck my man.”