I looked away so she couldn’t see me laugh.
“Don’t give me the monster voice, Eilidh Francine Adair. Why don’t you finish the new drawing you started in class? It’s my turn to chat with Regan. You’ll get yours later.”
That seemed to settle her.
“Monster voice?” I asked quietly.
Arrochar snorted, her pale eyes sparkling with amusement. “About a year ago she started saying stuff in a deep voice that cracks us up. We call it her monster voice, but we do not know where she picked it up. It’s just intrinsically Eilidh. She’s a bit weird, which means she fits in perfectly with the rest of us Adairs.”
“She’s adorable.” I watched her and Lewis, heads bent over their work. “They both are.”
“My brother is doing a fantastic job,” Arrochar said, pride in her voice.
Thinking of Thane and his dead wife, sadness filled my tone. “I can’t imagine having to raise two kids after losing the love of my life.”
“It was difficult.” Arrochar turned to me, keeping her voice low so the kids couldn’t hear. “He was still with a company in Inverness back then, so he hired a nanny. She was around until Eilidh turned two and Thane decided to go freelance. He’s juggled work and raising them for the past three years, but it’s been a struggle. I know it wasn’t a straightforward decision for him to return to working with a company. He doesn’t like the idea of his children being raised by a nanny. It was never what he and Fran intended.”
“Was Fran a stay-at-home mom?”
“She was a maths teacher. She was from the Borders originally. They met at university, and she loved Thane enough to follow him back to the Highlands. Luckily, she got a job at the local high school. I’m sure Lachlan had something to do with that. My eldest brother isn’t above nepotism.” She smiled fondly and then shadows entered her eyes. “Thane and Fran were the happiest people I knew. They designed this house together. Lewis was born just as the construction was completed. Fran had barely returned from maternity leave when she fell pregnant with Eilidh, and she decided to quit her job. Be a full-time mum. Thane would never have asked it of her, but I know he was relieved there would always be someone around. We didn’t have that, you see,” she said so softly, it was almost a whisper. “Our mum died after giving birth to me. Thane was six years old. Our dad kind of checked out for a while. Lachlan and Thane practically raised me. Anyway.” She shook her head. “Thane wanted something different for Eilidh and Lewis.”
My heart broke for them all, realizing life had repeated itself. “I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “What can you do? It is what it is.”
“Can I ask … how Fran died?”
Arrochar winced but before she could respond, Lewis called over suspiciously, “What are you guys whispering about?”
We tensed for a second, then I grinned at him. “Girl stuff.”
He wrinkled his nose and turned back to his homework like I suspected he might.
Arrochar chuckled. “You’re good with them.”
“I used to nanny. During summers at college.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “I don’t suppose you’re looking for a job, are you?”
“I’ve spent all afternoon looking for a job.”
“Huh. Does Thane know you nanny?”
“Yup.” I raised an eyebrow. “But I think my sister might have filled his head with the notion that I’m irresponsible.”
“Are you?”
I studied the way she studied me and decided I liked Arrochar Adair. There was no judgment in her expression, even though I was sure she’d been told just as much about me as Thane had. She was blunt and direct, but I appreciated that. And it seemed to me she was the kind of person who liked to make up her own mind about people, which I respected.
“No. Fundamentally, no.” I shook my head. “I have been impulsive in the past, but I’m not sure irresponsibility always goes hand in hand with that trait. Besides, believe me when I say something recently cured me of my impulsivity. And yeah, I haven’t been there for Robyn when I should have been. I have an excuse. It isn’t a great one … but I’d hate to think that one mistake will be held against me for the rest of my life.”
Arrochar considered this. “You should talk to Mac. I think he, more than anyone, will understand whatever it is you’re going through when it comes to Robyn.”
Anger flushed through me. “I haven’t been there for my sister these past eighteen months. That’s not the same as a father abandoning his child.”
“Mac didn’t abandon her,” Arrochar bit back. “It’s more complicated than that, something you’d know if you’d been around for Robyn to tell you.”
I stifled the urge to argue. Instead, I wondered at her vehement defense of Mac. “There seems to be a lot I don’t know,” I eventually replied.
The stiffness eased from her shoulders. “Sorry for snapping. I just … I’m protective of Mac. What happened with Robyn … it was a pain he carried for a long time. Finally, things are good between them. I don’t want anyone to upset that.”
“I’m not here to tear shreds out of Mac,” I assured her, though I was curious to discover what had gone down between him and my sister. “I’m here to put things right with Robyn. And to do that, I need to stick around—to stick around, I need a job.”
“Aunt Arro, is it my turn yet?” Eilidh called over, cutting through the intensity of the moment.
Thankfully.
Arrochar rolled her eyes. “Your presence is required.”
Laughing, I hopped off the stool to give Eilidh my time.
While Arro prepared dinner, I hung out with Eilidh on the couch. An animation was on the TV, but Eilidh was too busy playing with my hair and chatting about her friends to pay attention. The only time she did was when a character started singing a song and she stopped to sing along with them.
Arro and I cheered and clapped after every one of her renditions.
Lewis was allowed to play video games, preapproved by his father, for one hour before dinner each day, so he’d disappeared into his bedroom to do that while we girls hung out downstairs.
I was pretty sure my hair was a ratty bird’s nest from Eilidh’s ministrations, but it made her happy, so I wasn’t going to be precious about it.
She was in the middle of asking me if she could call me “Ree-Ree” when the sound of the front door slamming jolted her attention from me. “Daddy!” she squealed and took off out of the room.
“How’s my wee Eilidh-Bug?” he replied moments later in that deep, gravelly voice.
The tenderness in his voice was a beautiful thing to hear.
Eilidh’s answering chatter was so fast I couldn’t make it out, even as Thane strode into the open-plan room with his daughter settled on his hip. He stared down into her face with such love, I vowed in that very moment to find a guy who would look at our kids just like that.
“Is that right?” he murmured in response to whatever she’d said.
“And Ree-Ree let me play with her hair for ages!”
Apparently, I was Ree-Ree now, permission granted or not.
Arrochar and I shared an amused look.
“Ree-Ree?” Thane frowned and then glanced into the room. He stiffened when he saw me. “Regan?”
“Hey.” I waved, knowing I probably looked like a lunatic because of whatever Eilidh had done to my hair.
“Hi,” Arrochar said, drawing his attention. “Dinner is almost ready. I picked up Regan on her way back from the village. The kids asked her to hang out with us.”
“Right, right.” He nodded, his eyes coming back to me. “Are you staying for dinner?”
There wasn’t exactly a welcoming tone to his question. “No. I should get back. Robyn will wonder where I am.” I hoped. She hadn’t texted me all day.
“But.” Arrochar strode toward her brother and tugged Eilidh out of his arms and into hers. “Regan would like to discuss something with you in private.”
I would
? I frowned at her.
She made a face and then mouthed, “Nanny.”
Right.
Usually I wouldn’t badger someone about a job he clearly didn’t want to give to me, but I was running out of options. And honestly, the idea of some Gordanna Redburn nanny looking after Eilidh and Lewis pissed me off. At least with me they’d be safe, cared for, and having fun.
“Right.” I jumped to my feet, stalking toward their father. “Yeah, can we talk?”
His eyebrows were still puckered, but he nodded and gestured for me to follow him. He led me to a room off the entrance that I hadn’t been in before.
The small space overlooked the fields beyond the driveway. It held a desk with a smart desktop computer, neatly piled papers, bookshelves filled with folders, and walls with framed house plans. His office.
He closed the door and turned to me. Without Eilidh in his arms, I finally noticed his attire. Instead of the rugged sweater and jeans I’d only ever seen him in, he wore a dark gray shirt, open at the collar, with a pair of black suit pants. He had not, however, trimmed his beard or his hair, and the overall look was incongruously appealing.
“Well?” Thane said.
I placed my hands on my hips and gave him what I hoped was a charming smile. “You need a nanny. And I need a job.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “I’ve spent all day looking.” I stuck out one of my bare, sore feet. Thane looked at it in consternation. “I cut my feet walking all over the village and back in search of a crappy job. And all the while, here in this gorgeous house, are two amazing kids who get along with me, and they need a nanny.”
Their father’s eyes traveled back up my body from my feet to my face. “Regan—”
“Before you say no again, let me email you my references. I am an exceptional nanny with impressive experience. I used to nanny for the mayor of Providence and his wife.”
Thane drew in a breath. “Regan—”
“Lewis actually talks to me, and Arro says that’s unusual for him. And I’m pretty sure Eilidh and I are twins born nineteen years apart. Though”—I gestured to whatever was happening with my hair—“I need to give her some styling lessons for sure.”
His lips twitched. “Regan—”
“I would never do anything to hurt them,” I said in all seriousness. “They need someone. You need help. I’m offering it, and you can trust that the offer comes from a good place.”
“Not an entirely altruistic place, though.”
I shrugged. “I’ve never lied about needing a job. But this wouldn’t feel like a job. Except for the cooking and cleaning part, of course. But the kid part, no. They’re wonderful kids.”
“On their good days.”
“All kids have ups and downs. I know it’s difficult.” I took a step toward him and hated how he seemed to tense warily. “I nannied for this one little boy whose parents treated him as if he were a social accessory. Trotted him out to display to their friends and then had the nanny trot him back out of sight again when he wasn’t required. Which was most of the time. I’ve never met a child with bigger trust issues, and being a nanny to a kid who doesn’t trust you or anyone is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Almost as difficult as stemming the urge to berate his parents for neglect … but that’s another story.
“My point is … Eilidh and Lewis are loved, and it shows. They’re good kids who will have tantrums on days they’re tired or hungry or frustrated and not sure why. That’s kids. I know that. I’m prepared for it. Besides, Robyn is their aunt now. If you want reassurance I’ll take this job seriously, you have it, because I won’t do anything else to hurt my sister or the people she cares about. I’m a much better solution to your problem than some nanny who’s only here to cash her paycheck.”
Thane studied me so long after my little speech, I squirmed.
Finally, he replied, “First, let me talk to Robyn. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but if offering you a job is a problem for her, then I can’t do it.”
As much as I understood and was grateful he was looking out for Robyn, I couldn’t help but experience a niggle of hurt at the very idea my sister would stand in my way. I didn’t let it show. Instead, I nodded. “I get it.”
His expression softened. “Good. Now I’m sure your sister is looking for you.” His eyes flickered to my hair, his mirth obvious. “And you best sort that,” he said, gesturing to my head, “before it stays like that permanently.”
I patted my head, suddenly dreading looking in a mirror.
6
Regan
Perhaps today was the wrong day to start MMA training with my sister. As we stood in the studio on the Ardnoch Estate grounds with Robyn’s friend Eredine, I attempted to act normal. Like I wasn’t still reeling from the conversation I’d overheard last night.
The previous evening, I’d been in my room reading a romantic suspense e-book when I heard the murmur of a familiar voice downstairs. My room was off the stairwell, and I could hear anyone who came into the house.
At the sound of Thane’s voice, my curiosity piqued, so I snuck out of my room and stood at the top of the stairs to eavesdrop. Not very mature of me, I know, but I hoped that he’d come over to ask Robyn about the job. They disappeared into the kitchen, and I tiptoed downstairs to listen out of sight. I had to strain to hear as they spoke in low tones.
When Thane finished explaining my proposition to Robyn and Lachlan, I waited tensely for my sister’s reaction.
Finally, she replied, “What is it you’re asking me?”
“Two things, really. If you think it’s wise to hire Regan to look after Eilidh and Lewis, and if so, would it be an issue for you? I don’t want to make any problems for you, Robyn. For all I know, you want Regan on a flight back to the States.”
I sucked in a breath at the thought, squeezing my eyes closed.
Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me.
“I don’t want that,” Robyn replied wearily.
I relaxed, tears burning my eyes.
“I prefer her here where I can keep an eye on her.”
Like I wasn’t a twenty-five-year-old woman but a wild sixteen-year-old up to no good?
Jeez, my sister really was living in the past.
Your fault, a sneering voice said in my head.
Yup, I knew that too.
“Do you think I’d be insane to hire her? I’m really in a jam here.”
Insane?
A little melodramatic.
Stung, I crossed my arms over my chest. This was what happened when you eavesdropped.
“Of course not,” Robyn replied, and she sounded a little defensive.
I smirked. Thank you, sis.
“Are you sure?” Lachlan asked. “This is my nephew and niece we’re talking about, Robyn.”
I scowled. I knew he didn’t like me.
“I know that. And I know how much they mean to you. I love them too. I would never suggest putting them in harm’s way. And while Regan has acted impulsive and irresponsible in many situations in her life—”
Say what?
“She’s like a whole other person with kids. I always thought she should go into teaching.”
She did? She thought I could do that?
“But anyway, Regan is only ever irresponsible with herself.”
“Really, because I thought abandoning you after you got shot and then ignoring your calls after Lucy tried to murder you was pretty irresponsible.” Lachlan’s voice was hard.
I flinched, remorse an ugly sensation.
“I can’t explain that.” I barely heard my sister’s response.
There was a moment of silence and then Thane cleared his throat. “So … your opinion is that she’s responsible with children?”
“Absolutely. She’s never lost a job, nanny or otherwise. And she didn’t just do it for the money. She enjoys taking care of kids. And you saw her with Eilidh and Lewis the other night. Kids l
ove her. She’s great with them. If you want to hire her, do it. But keep looking for someone else, Thane. I don’t know this version of Regan as well as I used to know her. This version of her is unpredictable. Selfish and unkind in a way she never was before. So she might decide next week to pack her bags and leave.”
The tears in my eyes slipped free.
It was an awful thing to hear the person you loved most call you selfish and unkind.
“Maybe I shouldn’t hire her.” Thane sighed heavily. “I don’t want someone selfish and unkind looking after my kids.”
To my shock, it was Lachlan who spoke up. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but … for someone apparently so selfish and unkind, she taught Lewis a lesson about kindness without preaching at him. She sensed the tension Lucy’s name caused with the children at the table and defused it in seconds. She was naturally aware of their emotions throughout dinner and steered the conversation around them. I thought she showed intuitiveness and caring toward them that frankly shocked me.
“And while I know you’re not ready to hear this, Braveheart, there is something going on with that woman. Mac thinks so too. She’s not telling you something. Mac thinks it could be why she’s been avoiding you for so long.”
Damn. I gaped down the hallway toward the sound of my sister’s fiancé’s voice. Mac (and Lachlan!) saw too much.
After a moment, Robyn said, “Calling her unkind was wrong. I’m frustrated with her for acting like everything is all fine and dandy between us, and it came from that. It’s not true. Regan is not an unkind person. She never has been. Inconsiderate is a better word for her. And Lachlan’s right. There’s something going on, and I won’t find out what that is if she doesn’t stick around. While her having a great-paying job she enjoys would help in that matter, I don’t want you to feel obligated to hire her when it involves Eilidh and Lewis.”
“We’re talking in circles now,” Thane huffed, a tinge of amusement in his voice. “Robyn, I’m in desperate need of a nanny housekeeper. Arrochar is watching the children tomorrow, but she has to return to work on Thursday.”
There With You Page 6