“Since it’s Friday, I thought we’d grab an ice cream from Morag’s. What do you think?”
He gave me a small smile and a nod. As we waited for Eilidh to detach herself from an excited huddle in the middle of the playground, Lewis moved closer into my side.
It was subtle, but it happened.
My hand tightened on his shoulder.
Finally, Eilidh broke away from her friends and skipped to us, her fishtail braids with the pink ribbons tied at the ends flying up around her. “We started a girl band!”
Taking her hand, I chuckled. “Yeah? What are you guys called?”
“Don’t know yet. I like the Unicornies, but Maisie likes the Mermaids.”
Walking the kids toward the car, I tried hard to keep a straight face. “Well, that’s a big decision to make.”
“Not really.” She shook her head adamantly. “Unicornies are better than the silly mermaids.”
“Are you the lead singer?”
Eilidh gave me a look as if to say “well, duh,” and this time I couldn’t help but laugh. As I opened my eyes, I caught sight of Michelle watching me as she loaded her kids. Deciding not to let the scrutiny bother me, I led my charges to the Range Rover and filled Eilidh in on the ice cream plan.
Just as she did with chicken nuggets, she announced ice cream to the world in her monster voice. Even Lewis giggled.
11
Regan
The drive to the beach was a mere twenty minutes from the house. It was on the opposite end of the coastal line, so we drove through the village to get to it. I’d been to the beach with Robyn on weekends; as much as I could, I tried to give Thane space with Eilidh and Lewis on my days off. If I wasn’t with Robyn (because I was trying to give her space with her fiancé), I was hanging out with Arrochar or Eredine or both. We’d taken day trips to Inverness, and they’d gotten me back into hiking by showing me trails through the Cairngorms. Of course, I’d needed to outfit myself with new gear from the outdoor clothing store, and that hadn’t been cheap. But it was worth it.
As the weeks flew by, I found myself more and more familiar with the villagers, and between my friendships with Arro, Eredine, and Will, my restored closeness with Robyn, and a job I loved, Ardnoch was starting to feel like home.
The only downside to the whole thing was my feelings for Thane. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d crushed this hard on a guy. And never one who was so off-limits. One way I tried to avoid said feelings was to avoid said man, and the best time to do this was on the weekends.
However, it was the middle of October, and the entire country was experiencing this crazy heat wave. Not that anyone other than Scottish people considered temperatures in the low seventies a real heat wave, but the Scots around me marveled at it, determined to take advantage, including Eilidh and Lewis. They’d decided they wanted to spend Saturday, the first official day of their October school vacation, at the beach, but they’d guilted Thane into allowing me to accompany them. I wanted to say no, but when they were looking up at me with those puppy eyes … argh. It was Lewis who did it for me, and I think for Thane too. Over the past six weeks, he’d grown increasingly demonstrative in his affection for me. Last night, when I was cleaning up dinner and preparing to take off to the annex, Lewis suggested I come to the beach with them the next day. And gosh, one look at Thane and I knew neither of us could deny him.
So there I was, playing happy family with Thane Adair.
I just had to pray none of the thirsty moms were at the beach, or this would give them something to chew on.
“I knew it would be busy,” Thane muttered under his breath as he parked in the last free space in the lot above the sand dunes. “October break. Everyone and their mother are staying at Gordon’s caravan park.”
Glancing to my left, I saw the entrance to a trailer park up ahead. “Is that where Robyn stayed for a while?”
“Yeah, in Gordon’s private caravan.” He glanced over his shoulder at Eilidh and Lewis in the back of the SUV. “You ready?”
Eilidh beamed, her teeth pressed together in a maniacal smile that made me chuckle, while Lewis was already unbuckling his seat belt. They both had their swimwear on under their clothes, but I’d foregone it. I’d worn a summer dress, even though I thought it was breezy. If the kids wanted to go in the water, I’d go in with them, but I was definitely not wearing a bikini in front of Thane.
I hopped out to help Eilidh while Thane grabbed the cooler, blanket, and picnic hamper from the trunk. However, as soon as I opened the passenger door, Eilidh said she wanted to wear her sandals instead of her sneakers. I’d packed them in a bag filled with extras (clothing, shoes, and towels).
“One second,” I told her and rounded the SUV.
Food was scattered in the rear of the vehicle. Thane looked up from repacking the hamper. “Bloody lock broke,” he grumbled.
“Is the food okay?”
“Some of it’s a bit bashed.”
“That’s fine.” I patted his shoulder in assurance and immediately regretted it when I felt his hard muscle. Flushing inward, I rounded his side and bent into the car. “Where’s the bag with Eilidh’s sandals?”
“I don’t—there it is.” He pointed to the darkest corner of the deep cargo area.
Unfortunately, we both moved in to get it at the same time and our cheeks slammed together. I felt the surprisingly soft tickle of his beard.
“Sorry!” we both exclaimed and jerked back. In the flailing, Thane’s knuckles brushed across my right breast, and I sucked in a sharp breath of awareness.
Our eyes collided, and I swore I saw heat in Thane’s before he looked away. His voice sounded a little hoarse as he said, “Let me get the sandals.”
Body tingling, cheeks burning, I stepped away and tried to look anywhere but at his ass. I succeeded. I failed, however, at keeping myself from ogling the perfect V-shape of his back from his trim waist to his broad shoulders. Over the last six weeks, despite trying to avoid being alone with Thane as much as possible, I’d picked up on his habits. And keeping fit was one of them. He had a small gym off his bedroom that he got up at the crack of dawn to use a few times a week. He said I could use it anytime I wanted. The offer had made me laugh.
“Not a fan of working out?” he’d asked with an amused smile on his beautifully curved mouth.
“I’m more of a yoga, Pilates, hiking kind of girl. MMA training is as close to a workout you’ll ever see me do.”
But I was more than happy to enjoy the visual fruits of other people’s labor at the gym.
“Here.” Thane hauled the bulky bag toward the top of the cargo space. “What on earth is in here?”
“Extras,” I explained. “Of everything.”
At his questioning look, I made a face. “We’re on a day trip to the beach with two children under eight. If we get through the day without needing at least three things out of the extras bag, I will be shocked.”
He grinned, his eyes crinkling attractively at the corners. “True enough.”
I ignored the flutter in my belly and dug through for Eils’ sandals. I moved to haul the large bag out of the car.
“I’ll get that.” Thane reached for it.
Gently swatting his hand away, I walked around him. “You’re carrying everything else.”
“Dad,” Lewis said behind me. “I can help.”
“You take the towels, son,” Thane said.
Once I’d gotten Eilidh into her sandals, all four of us trundled down the sand dunes onto the fairly busy Ardnoch Beach. Blankets, locals, and tourists dotted the stretch of luxurious golden sand. I didn’t blame everyone for descending upon the beach, though I preferred walking it with Robyn when hardly anyone was there.
But today, the cloudless sky had turned the water of the North Sea an almost Mediterranean green-blue. The soft sand was a white-gold up near the sand dunes, only to ombré into a rust orange where the shore continually lapped at it. The beach was secluded into a large cove, curving
outward at opposite ends until it disappeared into the jutting green cliffs beyond.
“God, this place is beautiful,” I said, even as I shivered from the cool breeze blowing toward us from the sea. I clasped tighter to Eilidh’s hand as we slid a little down the dunes. Lewis walked on my right, between me and his dad.
Thane, who seemed as unperturbed as everyone else by the breeze, smiled. A hot pair of Ray-Bans hid his eyes from me. “Is She seducing you, then?”
All I heard was the word seducing.
“Huh?”
He chuckled, looking forward. “Scotland. Is She seducing you as She did your sister?”
“I think we both know it wasn’t Scotland that did the seducing,” I teased.
Laughing, Thane nodded and was about to reply when Eilidh beat him to it. “What does sepuducing me?”
Having momentarily forgotten children were always listening, I blanched and covered it with a bright smile. “Charmed, honey. It means to charm someone. You know, make them like you.”
I was pretty sure Thane shot me a grateful look, but it was difficult to tell behind those sunglasses.
We found a spot a little down the beach, near the dunes, and out of nowhere Thane produced an unfamiliar, multi-colored object and unfolded it. It consisted of four wide strips of stretched canvas with poles slotted in between each so it could fold in different directions. He placed it into the sand like a wall that curved around our towels.
Looking across the beach I realized most people had these or little colorful tents.
“What is that?”
“The windbreak?” He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have these in the US?”
“Nope. We have umbrellas and cabanas to fight off the sun. Not the wind.” I grinned at the thought.
However, when we sat behind it my goose bumps disappeared now that we’d blocked out the breeze. In fact, it was downright toasty under that fall sun.
Windbreaks. They were kind of genius.
I set about slathering Eilidh in sunblock while Thane did the same for Lewis. I tried not to think about the picture we made, all four of us. Like a family.
That way lies danger.
“There’s Anna! There’s Anna!” Eilidh jumped up and down, the frills of her swim dress bouncing around her waist. Following her gaze, I saw she was right. One of her best friends, a little pixie blond girl, was on the beach with her mom and her big sister Rosie.
“I see Connor as well,” Lewis said, craning his neck to look down the beach.
“Don’t you want to sit with us for a bit?” Thane asked, sounding a little put out.
Smiling to myself, I took Eilidh’s hand. “They can sit with us at lunch, no?”
He reluctantly agreed, and we walked away from our spot, me to deliver Eilidh to Anna, with a promise from Anna’s mom to watch her while they played, and Thane to do the same with Connor and his dad.
We met back on our blanket, behind the windbreak and I was suddenly very much aware of being alone with him. “I feel unloved,” I joked to break the tension I was sure only I felt.
Thane chuckled. “It’s just strange they’re both at that age where they want to go off and play with their friends. Not that long ago, they didn’t want to leave my side.”
“They’re still babies,” I assured him as I covered up with sunscreen. I’d deliberately chosen a dress with a high back so I wouldn’t need anyone to help me out.
What I hadn’t been counting on was Thane whipping off his T-shirt.
But why wouldn’t he when he looked like that?
The man wasn’t muscled to the max like some male model. There was definition, yes, but if I didn’t know he worked out, I’d just assume he was naturally built that way. There was nothing overworked about his physique. He was … too sexy to be my boss.
Damn it.
Not knowing where to look, I turned to stare out at the water as he covered himself with sunblock. Apparently unable to control myself, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye just as he realized he’d made an error in judgment by whipping off his shirt.
He couldn’t cover his back in sunblock without help.
And I was a complete opportunist with no self-preservation whatsoever. “Need a hand?”
Thane made an exasperated sound. “If you don’t mind.”
My pulse increased as I took the sunblock and walked on my knees until I was behind him.
His broad back stretched before me, smooth, olive skin over healthy muscle. And there was a tattoo on his right shoulder that I’d never seen before—a Celtic knot symbol.
Taking a deep breath that I hoped Thane couldn’t hear, I slathered cream on my fingers and then pressed my palms to his strong back. For a moment, I didn’t move my hands. I was afraid if I did, I’d caress him.
Thane turned his head slightly, as if he sensed something was wrong. I shook myself out of crazy crush mode and smoothed the lotion into his skin. It was going well until I noted how tense his shoulders were.
“You need a massage,” I said, subconsciously kneading my fingers and thumbs into the too-tight muscle.
He grunted. “Fuck, that feels good. Had that knot there forever.”
Frowning, I rolled my thumb against the area I thought he meant. “Here?”
The sound of deep pleasure made me smirk, and I continued to knead at it.
“You’re good at this,” Thane offered after a few seconds, his voice rumbly and hoarse.
I wondered if he sounded like that after sex?
Tingling between my thighs at the very thought, I had to stop from pressing my breasts to his back.
I was losing my goddamn mind. Control yourself, woman!
I tried to focus on anything but the low groans falling from his lips. “What does the tattoo mean?”
Thane tensed for a moment and then relaxed into my touch again as he replied, “It’s Celtic … it’s the sigil for curse breaking.”
Surprised, my hands fell away from his shoulders and he turned, forcing me to move back.
“Not what you expected?” He rubbed a hand through his beard, looking almost boyishly embarrassed.
Not from Thane. Mr. Practical and Sensible. Mac was the one filled with tales of magic and fairies. I shook my head. “What does it mean to you?” After my many talks with Robyn over the past six weeks, she’d confessed much to me about her relationship with Lachlan. One reason he’d held himself back from a genuine relationship with Robyn was that he was convinced the Adair men were cursed to lose the women they loved. He’d been irrationally terrified (not so irrational, I guess, especially considering their circumstances) that Robyn would die if he loved her back. Was Thane referring to the same family curse?
“Has Robyn told you much about our family?”
Wanting to be honest with him, I nodded. “She’s entrusted me with some personal things. I know about the Adair curse. Or so-called curse.”
“It’s something Lachlan came up with. Something that got into his head and almost ruined his chances with Robyn. The stubborn bastard.” He said the insult with affection I’d seen openly expressed between the two brothers. They were very close, like me and Robyn. “He thinks it goes way, way back. Our great-great-grandfather lost his wife to influenza six months after they were wed. He married again, but how much he’d loved his first wife and never truly recovered from her death was a tale passed down through the generations. His son lost his wife to childbirth and he never remarried. Then my mother died in childbirth, and our father never got over it. Our aunt Imogen stayed with us, helped raise us, but when she died, I think it finished our father.”
“Then Fran died,” I whispered, emotion thickening my throat. I still didn’t know how she’d passed. Robyn said it was up to Thane to entrust me with that information. That no one was coming out to say if she died of cancer or in a car crash or something that happened every day made me think her death had a darker edge to it.
“Then Fran died,” Thane repeated grimly. “Lachlan became co
nvinced we were cursed, but I refused to believe that.” I could sense his penetrating stare through his dark sunglasses. “I refuse to be controlled by some greater fate. So I got the tattoo as a reminder not to let myself go down that path.” He shrugged and scratched his beard. “Seemed a good idea at the time. Now it just seems … silly, I suppose.”
“No, it doesn’t. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you don’t have control over your life—if we don’t have control, then we don’t have to hold ourselves responsible for our failings, or even our successes. Some people use that as an easy way out. Or, like Lachlan, they let fear control their choices. I respect you haven’t allowed that to happen.”
We shared a long look, the air electric between us. “You haven’t either,” he murmured. “You took control of your life, yes, when it felt like it was spiraling?”
“Exactly.” I hadn’t divulged anything to Thane about why I’d taken off on Robyn, and I found myself wanting him to know, to understand. If Robyn didn’t think I was a coward, I was sure Thane wouldn’t either. And I wanted him to know that I really did understand his tattoo. That I understood him.
And so, somewhat guarded from view thanks to the windbreak, my eyes on Eilidh playing in the distance, I confessed to Thane why I’d left Robyn after she got shot. I didn’t go into detail about Austin—that was a conversation I hoped we’d never have to have—but I explained how I’d let my fear keep me away from her.
“I was ashamed of my cowardice,” I ended.
Thane leaned into me, his voice gruff. “You are not a coward. You were very young, and you didn’t know how to process your emotions. Emotional intelligence takes time. Do you think I was emotionally mature and self-aware at twenty-two, twenty-three?” he said. “You learned faster than many of us do, Regan.”
Grateful, I reached out without thinking and placed a hand on his bent knee. “Thank you for saying that.”
There With You Page 13