Eilidh’s ears pricked up and she looked at me, her eyes big.
“I’m staying here,” I replied for more than just my mom’s benefit.
Mom frowned as she swallowed a bite of the steak pie we’d bought from the village butcher. “But it’s Christmas Eve. You should be with your family. We’ve come all this way, Regan. Don’t be inconsiderate.”
My spine snapped at her tone.
“Stace,” Dad warned quietly.
“I’m not being inconsiderate,” I replied calmly. “I promised Eilidh and Lewis I’d be here to open presents with them first thing in the morning, and that’s where I’ll be.”
“And what about us?”
I could feel Eilidh watching.
“Mom, the kids will be up super early. You won’t even be awake. I’ll come over after to open presents with you then.”
“You’re going away?” Eilidh frowned. “You can’t go away on Christmas Day! You have to come to Mummy’s with us, Ree-Ree.”
My plan had been to visit with my family at Robyn and Lachlan’s while Thane took the children to the cemetery to visit Fran’s grave. They put flowers on her grave once a month, a trip they always took on the weekend and one I’d never taken with them out of respect. They also visited every Christmas, New Year’s Day, and on her birthday.
“Mommy’s?” Mom frowned, having been told that Thane was a widower.
I shook my head at her to be quiet and turned to Eilidh. “Sweetie, that’s family time.”
“But you’re family!”
“Eilidh, don’t shout at Regan,” Thane admonished. “Tomorrow Regan will spend part of the morning with her family while we visit Mum. We’ll see her in the afternoon. End of discussion.”
He’d used the tone the kids never argued with, but Eilidh pouted dramatically and shot me an unforgiving look.
Shit.
Brodan thankfully engaged Mom, asking her in that flirty voice how it was possible a woman as attractive and as young as she could have two grown daughters. Mom, as much as she loved Dad, was not averse to a handsome Hollywood actor fawning over her. Despite Eilidh’s upset, I relaxed as the heat of Mom’s disapproval cooled under Brodan’s attention.
“They’re attached to you,” Dad muttered beside me, clearly referring to the kids.
“Yeah, we’ve grown close.”
“So what time can we expect you tomorrow?” Mom suddenly pushed.
“Mom,” Robyn huffed, “it’s Christmas. No schedules or routines. Let’s just enjoy it.”
“I would if both my daughters were bothering to show up.”
“For Christ’s sake, Stacey.” Dad glowered at her. “Not here.”
I glanced down the table at Robyn, and we exchanged a knowing look. Mom wasn’t pissed about me not staying the night with them; she was pissed I was here in the first place. She was pissed I didn’t check in with her as much as I checked in with Dad.
And she was pissed about the last ten years of my life in which I’d seemed to do nothing but disappoint her.
I hated it, because I’d missed my parents, but I was relieved when they left a few hours later so we could put the kids to bed.
Lewis was a great sleeper and he drifted off, no problem at all, even though I could tell he was excited about Santa.
Eilidh was … well …
“But I want to see Santy Claus!” she cried as Thane and I tried to settle her in.
“You need to sleep, Eilidh-Bug. Santa only leaves presents for good children who go to sleep when they’re supposed to.”
She considered this, pouted, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Not my fault if I can’t sleep.”
“But you can try,” Thane insisted. “And when you wake up in the morning, your stocking will magically be filled with presents and lying at the foot of your bed. And there will be more presents under the tree.”
Her eyes widened and she sprang at Thane, clasping his bearded face in her hands. “Daddy, I can’t wait! And I don’t wanna Santy not to leave me pressies ’cause I’m too excited!”
While I covered my mouth to muffle my amusement, Thane struggled not to laugh as he hugged her to him. “It’s okay, Santa will come, but you need to calm down, my darling.”
“I’m trying,” she whined.
In the end, I used a trick Robyn used to use on me. I picked Eilidh’s least favorite book and I read it to her in a soft, soothing monotone. She complained at first, but eventually her eyes drifted closed as she rested against her dad’s chest.
“She’s asleep,” Thane murmured eventually.
With a sigh of relief, he carefully maneuvered her onto her pillow and we slipped out of the room. Downstairs, as I drank most of the glass of milk the kids had left out for Santa, Thane sidled into me at the island. “So … your mother is a bit of a pain in the arse,” he opined bluntly.
Keeping my voice low, I shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t have to be.”
“She’s not awful,” I whispered back defensively. “We had a lot of good times with Mom growing up. She’s just … mistrustful. She always expects too much from Robyn and never—”
“Expects enough from you,” he answered grimly.
My pulse raced at his perceptiveness. “It is what it is.”
Thane leaned into me. “If she can’t see how bloody wonderful you are, she’s a fool.”
My stomach flip-flopped at his words, and I leaned in to kiss him. I meant it to be just a peck, but Thane grabbed hold of my waist and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. He groaned, trailing kisses down my throat. “Damn your period.”
I grinned, pushing him away playfully. “Just be glad it’s here.”
We’d been having so much sex, it was a wonder the odds hadn’t stacked against us regarding pregnancy, despite using contraception.
Thane chuckled under his breath, even though he wore the look of a frustrated man. He helped me eat the cookies the kids had left out and then we put the carrots they’d set out for the reindeer back in the refrigerator but left the plate.
The spirit of Christmas filled us as we tiptoed in and out of the house in our coats and boots, hauling in the gifts I’d wrapped and hidden in the annex. All the family had dropped off the kids’ presents, too, and I arranged them prettily around the tree. Thane’s tradition was to tell the children that their big present was from Santa and the rest were from him and their loved ones.
I placed my presents for them next to Thane’s and put Thane’s in the pile from his family. He’d disappeared as I perfected the arrangement and snapped a photograph to send to Robyn. The presents overflowed past the tree, and the bike Lewis had asked for was propped against the wall with a big red and green bow on it.
Eilidh’s big present from Santa was the Arendelle Castle from Disney’s Frozen, along with dolls to go with it. She was going to adore it.
Excited about seeing the kids’ reactions in the morning, it took me a minute to realize Thane was watching me.
“What is it?” I whispered.
He shook his head, approaching the tree with a Christmas gift bag in his hand. “You just … you’re really into this.”
“Christmas is all about kids. The first year I realized Santa wasn’t real, the magic went away. But … this is the first time I’ve felt it since I was a child. I’m excited they’re excited.”
Thane stared at me, his expression unreadable.
“What is it?” I repeated.
He shook his head and placed the gift bag down near the presents. I could see a couple of wrapped parcels inside.
“Where did that come from?”
Thane turned and winked at me. “Santa.”
“Are those for me?”
He grinned. “I couldn’t not buy you a Christmas present or two.”
Staring at them greedily, I whispered, “What are they?”
His soft laughter filled my ears as he wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me back against his chest. “You’ll h
ave to wait until the morning to find out like all the other good girls and boys.”
Desire flashed through me, sudden and intense, and I blamed my damn hormones and the utter irony of how turned on I got when I couldn’t do anything about it.
Well … I could do something about it.
Turning around his arms, I looped mine around his neck. “We’re done here. Time for bed.”
“Already?” He frowned. “You don’t want to sit for a bit?”
“I’m tired,” I lied.
His disappointment was adorable and made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I loved he wanted alone time with me, even when it wasn’t about sex. The stubborn man definitely cared about me. I just had to get him to admit it. But not during Christmas. The holiday was all about Eilidh and Lewis.
Taking the kids’ filled stockings upstairs, we crept into their rooms to drape them over the end of the beds as was tradition among the Adairs. I held my breath the entire time, afraid I’d wake them.
When we were done, Eilidh and Lewis none the wiser, we stopped outside Thane’s bedroom door, and he sighed before whispering, “I guess this is good night, then.”
Smirking, I pushed him through his bedroom door. “Not quite.”
Thane’s eyes lit up as he stumbled backward into the room. “I thought you couldn’t.”
I closed the door behind us and lowered myself to my knees in front of him. “I can’t … but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you an early Christmas present.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, his expression darkening with need as I unzipped him. “What did I do to deserve this?”
I couldn’t answer. I was too busy making his Christmas Eve extremely memorable.
Afterward, as Thane tried to catch his breath, exerted not just by my generous mouth but by the effort of being quiet, he pulled me to my feet and pushed me toward the bed. “You’re sleeping with me tonight.”
Shocked, I gaped at him. Since I’d moved into the house, Thane had always visited my bed at night and left after we made love. We’d not spent the night sleeping in each other’s arms since the morning after we’d made love all night. And even then, we’d only fallen asleep together out of pure exhaustion.
I suspected I knew why Thane never stayed the night with me, even though my insecurities wanted me to think he was using me. However, I didn’t believe that.
Not now.
Now that I knew how Fran died.
I suspected Thane was afraid to go to sleep with me in the bed with him because of how he’d found Fran. And that broke my freaking heart.
“Are you sure?” I tried to keep his hands at bay as he attempted to undress me, wanting to make certain he wasn’t pushing himself beyond the boundaries he’d needed for so long.
Emotion roiled in his gaze alongside a fierceness. “Yes.”
“The kids will wake up first, though.”
“They won’t. They’ve never woken up before seven on Christmas Day. You know they’re good sleepers. And I’ll wake you up early so you can slip out.”
“Thane—”
He kissed me, cutting me off, then murmured against my lips, “I just want to hold you.”
When he undressed me down to my underwear, no bra, I quirked an eyebrow, my heart pounding in my chest. “Really?”
Thane gave me that boyishly wicked smile as he pushed me onto the bed. “If I can’t be inside you, I can at least feel you naked against me.”
I huffed, but I really didn’t care. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms more than anything. “Will you set the alarm?”
“I will,” he promised.
By the time he got undressed, set the alarm, and climbed into bed beside me, I was giddy with anticipation. This, to me, was just as great as sex. His muscular arm pulled me back into his chest, and I hit his steely warmth. The hair on his legs tickled mine, and I curled my foot around his calf, entangling us. He buried his face in my neck, cupped my breast possessively, and relaxed completely into me.
Certain that he was okay about this, I relaxed too.
Pure contentment lulled me into a deep, deep sleep.
“Ree-Ree.”
I moaned as a familiar voice cut into my dreaming.
“Daddy?”
An arm laid heavily over my waist. I felt the tickle of Thane’s beard on my shoulder and the throb of his morning erection against my ass. I pushed into it with a moan.
“Ree-Ree, Daddy, wake up!”
I tensed and the arm around me tightened too.
No.
No, no, no.
“Santy’s been! Wake up!”
A tug at the duvet had my eyes flying open and my hand reached out to grab hold of it to keep it covering me and Thane.
Eilidh stood at my side of the bed, staring at me with those big, curious blue eyes. They danced with her inquisitive impatience. “Why are you in Daddy’s bed?”
“Fuck,” Thane muttered into my skin.
Think fast, think fast, think fast.
“Uh, well, I must have fallen asleep here waiting for Santa.”
Her eyes widened. “Did you miss him? ’Cause he’s been! He filled my stocking and there are lots of nice things in there I want to show you!”
I winced at her loudness but covered it with a smile. “Why don’t you go back into your room to wait for me and your dad? We’ll be right in.”
“But—”
“Eilidh-Bug …” Thane lifted his head from my shoulder. “Do as Regan says. Wait for us in your room, sweetheart.”
“Okay!” She began backing away. “But hurry, Daddy!”
Once the door slammed shut behind her, both of us jumped out of bed.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” I frantically pulled on my clothes.
“It’s fine,” Thane said, though his expression belied his calm. “She doesn’t understand what she saw, and she’s too excited to care or remember.”
“Are you sure?” I trembled as I pulled on my sweater.
“Positive.” He strode around the bed and put his hands on my shoulders. “Just act normal and she’ll forget about it.”
I nodded, but as I followed Thane out of the room, I feared I wouldn’t be able to pretend. It wasn’t just that I worried about Eilidh being confused by finding me in bed with her dad. I was angry and depressed that after everything that had passed between me and Thane, we were still sneaking around like we were doing something wrong.
What we had felt more right than anything ever in my life.
Why couldn’t he see that too?
33
Regan
Thane was right.
Eilidh didn’t even mention finding me in her father’s bed. She was too busy showing us everything in her stocking (which, of course, we’d already seen because we put it there) while we oohed and aahed.
“Can we wake Lewis now?” she begged in a shout loud enough to wake the dead after Thane said we couldn’t open the presents downstairs until her brother was awake.
Her dad and I exchanged a look before Thane went off to check if her shouting had woken Lewis. A couple minutes later, Thane returned with a sleepy Lewis in his arms. Lew held his stocking.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie.” I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.
To my delight, he reached for me. “Merry Christmas, Ree-Ree.” Thane handed him over and even though he weighed a ton, I held on tight and gave him a big cuddle before lowering him to the floor.
My heart was full.
And it just kept filling, swelling with the sweet tightness of too much emotion as the day stretched on. Eilidh and Lewis were beyond delighted with their gifts from Santa and their presents from their dad, me, and the rest of the family. Thane said he loved the photograph Robyn had taken of Eilidh and Lewis on the beach. She’d taken it a few months ago when she, I, and the kids had gone for a walk during their October vacation. It had been a moody day, but the sunbeams had spilled through a break in the clouds, creating this amazing light across the sand dunes. There was
water in little pools along the shore, and Eilidh and Lewis had taken great pleasure in making footprints in the wet sand.
They had rushed ahead of us and Robyn had captured a beautiful shot of Lewis turning to reach for Eilidh’s hand to help her across a wider pool of water.
As soon as I saw it, I knew I needed to frame it and give it to Thane for Christmas. When I’d seen Lachlan’s reaction to the photo of Robyn, it solidified my decision. Under their gruffness, the Adair men were sentimental softies.
Thane’s eyes brightened as he caressed the glass protecting the photo. “It’s beautiful.”
“I thought you could put it in your office, maybe?”
He nodded, looking at me with such tenderness, I cursed the fact that I couldn’t just reach out and kiss him. I cursed it even more when I opened his gift to me. He said it was from him and the kids. They’d given me a gift set of my favorite nail polish, a cashmere scarf in an emerald green that looked great with my hair color … and a gift shaped like a book.
“No way.” I gaped as I unwrapped it, almost afraid to touch it. “This isn’t what I think it is?”
“Lachlan told me about your reaction when you saw it in the library at Ardnoch. The books in there belong to our family. Arro removed all of her favorites years ago. We don’t believe in books filling shelves just to gather dust. They should be treasured and loved. I wanted you to have it.”
Tears burned the back of my eyes as I stroked the cover of the first edition of Gulliver’s Travels that I’d admired all those months ago. “I can’t believe you would trust this to me.”
“I trust my most treasured possessions to you, Regan. Why would I not entrust a book to you?”
I grinned because when he put it like that, I seemed silly. The tears caught in the corner of my eyes, and Thane noted them, his expression so loving, my frustration curled in my fingers and toes. I shoved it down and hugged the first edition to my chest. “I have no words for how much I love this. Thank you.”
The kids broke our intense staring match as they asked questions about the book, and I promised to read them a chapter from Gulliver’s Travels every night. It delighted me they were interested in it.
There With You Page 32