Let me tell you a little something about running in a corset and a long, poofy dress. It’s about exactly as challenging as it sounds. “Help!” I cried, my voice echoing through the castle off the stone walls. I ran as fast as I could, listening to my gut that tugged me up steps and through hallways. I prayed my frantic footfalls would lead me somewhere good.
I didn’t stop until my gut led me into the kitchen, smacking me straight into Rigby. I tried to catch my breath, but my lips felt fuzzy. “Rigs, thank God! A dude back there… Trying to… And he grabbed my butt!”
Rigby broke from his conversation with a tall gym rat in a white apron, who had flour smudges all over his beefy forearms. “Someone put their hands on you? Who?” Rigs set his tasting spoon down on the vast marble counter, wiping his hands off on a towel. The whole kitchen was all stone and marble with gold fixtures. The gilded chandelier we stood beneath had hundreds of thin arms that stretched out from the center and crawled along the ceiling like arms from an overzealous spider. The whole place smelled of freshly baked bread, but I couldn’t even enjoy that, because I was so worked up.
“I don’t know his name, but just look for the dude with a broken nose. Red hair, a few inches shorter than you. Soldier. Blood all over his face for being a douche.”
“Broken nose?”
“Yeah, I broke his nose.”
Rigby looked at me like I’d just told him I wanted a unicorn for Christmas. “You broke his nose? How?”
I shouted incredulously. “With my fist! You wanted me to just let him rape me?”
“No, of course not. I just didn’t expect a princess to be able to… Well done, your majesty.” He turned toward the cook guy. “Carry on, Fabrice. Allow me to escort you back to your chambers, Princess.”
“Thanks, Rigby.”
Fabrice lifted his finger in the air. “I’ll go with you, Rigby. If it’s Earl she’s talking about, he won’t take the defeat and walk away.”
We walked out of the kitchen that had come to a standstill at my dramatic entrance, and made our way down the hall. I’m not sure if it was the adrenaline, the almost being raped thing, Bastien, Madigan’s proposal, Demi or the stinkin’ corset, but with every step, oxygen grew harder and harder to find. Rigby was leading the way, with Fabrice keep watch behind. Rigs didn’t see my stumble, or my crash to the stone floor.
15
Demi’s Love
I felt my body being jostled in strong arms I didn’t recognize. I burrowed into the warmth of the man who carried me with gentle hands, seeking shelter and a firm place to rest my head. I blinked up at him, the world shifting into focus to reveal Fabrice’s clenched jaw and worried eyes. “Almost there, Princess.”
I was so turned around and woebegone that I nearly burst into embarrassing tears when Rigs opened my bedroom door to let Fabrice inside. His cheeks turned red when he climbed the steps up the platform and laid me down in my bed, as if I was naked and he was a peeping tom. “Thanks, man. Sorry about that. Long day, I guess.”
“What happened to her?” Demi demanded, livid.
Fabrice kept his eyes trained on my no doubt pale face. “I’ll send up some fruit to liven you. And I know you insist on not eating meat, but perhaps just this once a little pheasant might help you feel stronger.”
“You’re the one who’s been making my meals?”
Fabrice nodded while Rigby opened my window. A flock of birds raced inside, making all three men cry out in shock. The birds alighted on me, chirping songs of love and I’m-here-for-you-girl sentiments that I desperately needed.
“She needs mint to rouse her senses!”
“I’ll get the Voix some flowers!”
The birds kept suggesting things, some flying back out in search of whatever they deemed to be nature’s cure for me. Gotta love them.
Fabrice tried to shoo them off of me, but I caught his hand. The beefy arm turned surprisingly gentle under my touch. “It’s alright, Fabrice. These guys are my friends. That’s why I can’t eat meat.” My fingers were shaking, and dropped to the mattress. “You’re a really good cook, by the way. That soup inside the gourd you did last week? Blew my mind.”
“Thank you, your grace.” Fabrice’s eyes widened, like he’d never been paid a compliment before in his life.
I wanted to ask if I could go down to his kitchen sometime so he could teach me how to make the potatoes I liked, but another swoon hit me, knocking my head back onto my pillow. “Oh, man. I don’t feel so good.”
Rigby all but shoved Fabrice out the door and latched it. He whirled around and ran to the bed, scooping my torso up in his arms and pressing my chest to his, so Demi could untie the stranglehold that was my dress. As soon as I could take in a full breath, the tears I’d had on standby bubbled to the surface, spilling down my cheeks and all over Rigs’ shoulder. I hated that I was breaking down, and hated even more that Bastien had put doubts in my head of whether or not I could trust them. “I don’t like it here!”
Rigs threw away his stiff butler demeanor and hugged me tight, his hand holding my head to his shoulder so I didn’t have to support myself at all. “I know, my sweet. This place kills the light in people. I’ve seen it time and time again. I’d hoped it wouldn’t happen to you.”
“My mom doesn’t like me!” I confessed, the fainting making me feel slightly tipsy. “She thinks I’m fat and doesn’t want to be around me because I don’t have any Compass powers.”
Rigs said nothing to this, not daring to step so far out of bounds as to insult the queen. “You are lovely, and you don’t need power to keep kindness in your heart. That’s all the magic you need, and you have it in spades.”
His words were too sincere to brush under the rug. I clung to Rigby, wishing I could trust the shoulder I wept on. I felt Demi’s hand on my back, and my body instinctually leaned toward his touch. I exhaled when Demi’s arms banded around me from behind, giving me strength to calm myself enough so I didn’t hyperventilate. “Can I go visit Lane? I’m not doing so hot here.”
“I’m sorry, your grace. Her majesty most high has requested you stay inside until your unveiling tomorrow.”
I suspected as much, but it did nothing to assuage the trapped feeling that choked me around the throat. “Okay. I’m sure you’ve got things to do, Rigs. Thanks for making sure I made it back up here safely.”
“What happened to her?” Demi asked, unable to be patient anymore. Rigs explained it all to him, turning Demi’s docile embrace into a protective hold. “I want two guards you trust posted outside her bedroom at all hours, Rigby. I mean it. If Earl had it in his head it was possible to attack Rosie, others will try their luck.”
“I’ll see to it. I’ll select the guards myself, and see to Earl’s hanging.”
I sucked in my surprise, unsure if I should protest or not. Rigby left, and Demi tried to coax me to eat something, but I had no appetite. When Demi left to take my tray down, I tore off the layers of royalty that confined me and shoved my fist into a drawer in the wardrobe, fishing out the nearest thing I could dress myself in without assistance. It was white, strappy and silky, and hung to my knees like a sundress. I’d been sleeping in my dressing gown for the most part, but I didn’t want to be wearing anything Earl had touched or breathed on. I’d not worn such a beautiful and sexy nightgown before, and had never felt so disgusting and awful. I hoped the silk would balance out the dismal mood I was stuck in.
I sat on the platform between my bed and the window, hiding and hugging my knees to my chest. The tears poured more freely, now that I was alone and the corset was on the floor. I looked out at the early evening sky, wondering if the blue moon that was peaking over the horizon had anything better in store for me. My adventure with myself wasn’t going so well these days. The desire to cut loose and run was strong, but I knew the hundreds of thousands of displaced Avalonians needed me to find the Jewels of Good Fortune, so they could set their land right again. Someone had to take Morgan down, though I wished that job fell to a
nyone besides me.
When Demi came back in, he set a tea tray on the table and moved to my side, staring down at me in faux disappointment. “I’m sure you know this already, but princesses don’t sit on the floor.”
“Well, I guess the jig is up. I’m not a real princess. Wouldn’t that just solve it all?” I kept my eyes on the blue hue of the moon, again willing it to give me a better night than the crummy day the sun had shoved down my throat.
Demi latched the door, and then came to sit by my side on the tall platform, leaning against the bedframe. He tilted his head back, his chin jutting up toward the sky. “You never mentioned his name.”
“Who’s name?”
“Bastien the Bold. I didn’t realize the man you still loved was him.”
Alarms went off in my head. “Whoa, I never said anything about love.”
Demi cast a soft smile up at the moon, patiently waiting for the same thing I was – for the moon to give us some good news. “You may not know it, but you do love him. You can’t feel betrayal or hurt as deeply as you do concerning what he did, unless you’re in love. It’s one of the things I’m good at spotting.”
I didn’t want to argue with Demi, so I switched the spotlight over to him. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Oh, yes. Many times. It’s hard not to get attached when you’re in my position. Some of the women make it easy to hate them, but I’ve learned that hate is often just the other side of the coin from love. I loved Tyronoe for a time, your aunt from Province 2. Duke Henri was wretched to her, so she sought comfort from me. I loved her very much, toy as I was to her. I was younger then, more easily swayed, perhaps.”
I swallowed hard, unsure what to do with that information.
“Rigby mentioned to me that Duke Henri was one of your potential suitors, and that’s when I knew I was falling in love with you. All sorts of murderous thoughts crossed my mind at the idea of him taking you into his bed. He is… Duke Henri is a vile man with many unusual tastes. I could not watch you endure what Duchess Tyronoe had to.”
I let the silence settle between us, stunned that he could proclaim his feelings so easily. “I’m getting engaged tomorrow, I guess.” I grimaced, knowing that when I finally spoke, I would choose all the wrong words.
Demi didn’t seem crushed by this, but there was a tightness to his nod that mirrored the tension in my chest. His hand moved to rest on mine in the space between us. “I still belong to you, you know. You can have me as often as your husband allows.”
I let out a humorless snort, knowing Madigan wouldn’t care about sharing me.
But I cared. I cared if I kissed one guy while another one put his ring on my finger, even if it was all for a show. I cared if I made a joke out of marriage, and if I could only give part of myself to Demi behind closed doors.
I stared at my knees, pulling them up so I could focus my gaze on them and avoid Demi’s eyes altogether. I hated the embarrassing words that came out of my mouth, but my strangled whisper was the bravest voice I could muster. “Maybe I could marry you. Then I could kiss my husband as often as I felt like, because it would be you.” I had to know. I had to try. Part of me wanted to prove Bastien wrong and show us both that Demi cared about me, and that he wasn’t just using me to feed information to Morgan.
The other part of me was still a girl who just wanted a simpler life than all this, and someone fun and caring to share my journey with.
My face flushed red when Demi’s hand stiffened atop mine. I spluttered about a dozen apologies, wishing I could stuff the awkward words back into my mouth. I’d just proposed to a man I’d known less than a month. I wasn’t sure which way was up anymore.
I didn’t know what to do, so I hid. With frightened eyes, I ducked down and rolled my body under the tall bed, wishing I could be a child and hide from the things that were too big for me to handle gracefully. I laced my fingers behind my head and burrowed my nose into the wood, hoping that closing my eyes would make what I just did disappear. “Forget I said anything! I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I’m sorry, Demi. Please don’t freak out on me. I take it back!”
Demi’s movements were careful and slow as he got down on all fours to peer at me under the bedframe. “Are you hiding from me?”
“I think so.”
He gently fished me out, dusting off my hair when my chagrin was exposed to the moonlight. He stood and lifted me up by my elbows, squaring his shoulders to mine. His irises burned with that glowing passion he seemed to have on tap. “You wish to marry me? Of all the suitors out there, you wish to be mine? Bastien the Bold came to win your hand, but you would choose me?”
“I don’t want to talk about Bastien. I’m sorry I made it weird. We barely know each other. I just know I’d rather be with you than anyone else right now. I don’t want to marry a stranger! I want to laugh and go bowling with you. I want to listen to you read every night!”
Demi’s kiss was so powerful and so enthusiastic that he lifted me up off the ground, cleared the steps and dumped me back onto the mattress. I let out a squeak of surprise, not expecting my impromptu proposal to go over this well. He tugged at my hair, bending my chin skyward so he could kiss a heated trail of gratitude down my neck.
“Yes,” he breathed into my skin, tasting the dip in my clavicle just to make me squirm. “Yes, I would marry you. If I could, I would make you mine forever.” His experienced hands hiked my nightgown up, exposing my entire bottom half to him. He traced his favorite parts, lighting my nerves on fire and making my body writhe without me telling it to.
“If you could? What do you mean?” I asked between kisses, tasting his tongue. I let out an audible noise that was both passion, trepidation and borderline anxiety when his body pressed down on mine.
“I’m a soumettre, and you’re a princess. You can’t marry so far below your station. But that you would? That you would choose me over all the others? Over an Untouchable? I love you, Juliet.” He dragged the silk up my torso. “You’re so kind, and good, and beautiful. I was alone before I met you. I don’t like being alone.” His voice was seductive and nearly a purr. “Let’s not be alone tonight.”
It was when the silk threatened to hike over my breasts that I put a quick stop to the emotional chaos. “Wait! Wait, Demi. This is too fast.”
I could tell this wasn’t a popular decision, but Demi consented without protest, relenting his passion and lowering my nightgown while he slowed his frantic kisses to luscious, languid ones that seemed to pour over my entire body like melted wax. I felt beautiful and precious under his care, and like it mattered that I was actually breakable. I took a chance and looked into his eyes, and saw the truth in them. Demi wasn’t using me, or trying to get close so he could report back to Morgan. He wasn’t faking his feelings for me.
His whisper in my ear was pained with his audible heartbreak. “I will stand in the shadows and curse my life the day you marry Bastien the Bold, but I’ll be with you. I’ll bring you warm towels after he makes love to you. I’ll get your breakfast ready and serve him as faithfully as I’ve served you, because that is my lot. I told you, my journey ends here, in this wretched place.” He paused to kiss my lips, drinking me in like I was the last gulp of water. This castle was a desert for us both, so we clung to the respite we found in each other. “But know that every day I watch you love another man, my soul dies and my heart shrivels in my chest.” He brought my fingers to his pecs, so I could feel the solid, lean muscles that rose and fell for me.
For the third time that day, tears brimmed in my eyes. I didn’t have it in me to correct him at his assumption that I’d be marrying Bastien. “You’re too good to me. I don’t want to hurt you with this. I don’t want to get married! I’m only twenty-two! Would it help if I requested a different soumettre? I don’t want you to have to wait on me and my new husband. That’s horrible! I wouldn’t be able to do that.”
“If you sent me away, then I wouldn’t be able to see your face every morni
ng. I’ll take light where I can find it, even if it shines for another man.”
“Jeez!” I wiped the tears away, frustrated. “Stop saying perfect things like that! Just be horrible to me, and make this easier.”
Demi’s gentle smile fell down over my body, taking me in and sheltering me as best he could. “Take my love and let it make you stronger. Let it focus you so you can endure what you need to. I will always be here, as long as you’ll have me.” He twined his fingers through mine and kissed my knuckles. “You’re not alone on your journey, Juliet.”
Yup. That did it. Tears flowed down the sides of my face, pooling on my pillow and making any response unintelligible, and not worth the effort.
Then Demi did the sweetest thing I didn’t even have to ask for, but we both knew I needed. Demi tucked us both under the covers, rolled me onto my side and held me until I cried myself to sleep.
Bastien was wrong about Demi. You can’t fake kindness like that. As I drifted off to sleep in his safe and corded arms, I hoped this night together wouldn’t be our last.
16
King Urien’s Plan
I’d gone to prom with Judah and Jill, tagging along and feeling like a loser who couldn’t get a date. Lane had gone as my date, not caring that she was in her thirties and attending a high school dance. I love Lane for many reasons, and her unswerving loyalty to our friendship was only one of them. I’d missed her sorely, and as the birds brought Demi flowers to braid in my hair, I wondered if she was already on her way to the castle.
“Do you think she’s here yet?” I asked for the fourth time that morning.
“Duchess Elaine will be here with the rest of the guests. I’ve told the guards to send up word the second she’s seen.”
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