by Jay Bell
Phillip spared a glare for Joey before wordlessly stomping toward the kitchen.
“Oh, I think he likes you!” Maggie said.
“He does, doesn’t he?” Joey shook his head. Why was he even here? He didn’t need to put himself through this again. Joey could go home right now, login to a gay chat room, and in a couple of seconds countless guys would be sending him private messages and asking if he wanted to hook up. Guys hotter than Phillip even, although he would probably have to look awhile before finding one quite as delicate and fair.
“This is different for you,” Maggie said as they waited. “Usually you don’t bring me along. Am I supposed to watch or something? Or I could film it all. You know I love my gay porn.”
Joey smiled. “I just wanted to scope him out. It’s nothing really.”
But when a perky waitress brought them their drinks and Phillip failed to return from the kitchen, Joey realized that it was something. At the very least he should be given a chance to explain.
“Are y’all ready to order?” the waitress asked.
“Excuse me.” Joey stood and pushed past her, marching toward the kitchen. Who was Phillip to treat him like this? At the very least, he was a paying customer and deserved a little courtesy. He was leaving, but not before he gave Phillip a piece of his mind! The waitress called after him, but Maggie had his back by “accidentally” knocking over her malt. Joey swore to take her somewhere nice to make up for all of this, but first he had business to tend to.
He exploded through the kitchen doors, temporarily disorientated by the noisy bustling world beyond until he spotted Phillip. He had that same deer-in-headlights look again, which was so adorable that Joey’s anger slipped through his fingers and scurried away.
“What do you want?” Phillip said. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”
“I’m sorry.” The words felt strange and unfamiliar to Joey’s lips. Had he ever muttered them to anyone but his mother? “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings yesterday.”
“Okay,” Phillip said as if this concluded their conversation. Didn’t he get it? Joey had just apologized.
“Look,” Joey stepped closer, speaking in a whisper. “If you’re still in the closet then I understand.”
Phillip laughed. Joey would have liked to bottle the sound up and save it for later, taking it out occasionally so he could listen whenever the mood struck. There wasn’t a malicious chord in that laugh. It was the pure amused laugh of a child.
“I’m not in the closet,” Phillip said. “Everyone knows.”
“Me too!” Finally, they were on stable ground again. “Like I said, I’m sorry I was an ass. It was a very weird night for me, and I didn’t mean the things I said.”
“Including that I’m cute?”
“No! I meant that,” Joey backpedaled. “I definitely meant that.”
Phillip’s pale cheeks turned pink, and not from the heat of the kitchen.
“So look, why don’t we hook up later?”
Phillip’s smile faltered. “Are you asking me on a date?”
“Sure!” Call it what you like, but after yesterday’s mishap, Joey couldn’t be more in the mood. Who knew that arguments could be so hot?
“To be honest, I’m working kind of late, and I have someone picking me up.”
Joey’s stomach sank. “Another guy?”
“Yeah,” Phillip said and laughed, “but just my dad.”
“Well, call him and tell him I’m picking you up.”
“I don’t know. I’ll be tired.”
“Just let me drive you home,” Joey said, trying not to beg. “That’s not so bad, is it?”
“Okay. Twelve o’clock then.”
Joey grinned. “See you at midnight.”
* * * * *
The hour couldn’t come quick enough. Joey passed the time by taking Maggie out to eat. Staying at the sports bar would have been awkward, and she had definitely earned a better meal. She enjoyed that, even though she didn’t need Joey to be taken out. She was always making her men wine and dine her and once confided that she liked it better than sex.
Afterwards Joey came home and took a shower, resisting the urge to play with himself since he was counting on plenty of action tonight. Then he stood in front of the mirror and tried on almost every dress shirt he owned. Suddenly none of them seemed good enough.
He was wondering if any department stores were open this late when he looked at the clock. Joey only had fifteen minutes to make it back to the sports bar, so he ran for the car. He made it just as Phillip stepped out through the glass doors.
“Talk about timing,” Phillip said as he climbed into the car.
“That’s what you think. I had to circle the block twenty times to make it look that casual.”
Joey’s joke earned him another laugh. This was going to be a good night.
“So where do you live?”
Joey nodded along to the directions, noticing how thin Phillip’s fingers were when he pointed. Everything about him was like a fine china doll. He looked good, despite the horrible striped shirt he had to wear for his job. Phillip’s blond hair was perfectly sculpted. A street light illuminated a bead of water in his hair, meaning that Phillip had been primping himself just before Joey arrived. This realization made him ridiculously happy.
“Kind of a bummer that you have to work during summer vacation,” he said, making small talk.
“Tell me about it,” Phillip moaned, “but I’m saving up for a car. You don’t work?”
“No. My dad sends his child support occasionally and Mom doles it out to me like an allowance. So, why a sports bar? Do you have a deep abiding passion for barbeque ribs or something?”
“No. My uncle owns it.”
“Ha! I was just telling this guy the other day that my uncle owned it. I was lying, obviously. I was just trying to hook him up with another guy because I’d slept with one of them and—” He glanced over to see Phillip looking at him as if he were crazy. “Oh, never mind. It’s a long story.”
“Turn here.”
When had this game become so difficult? Joey tried to calm himself, to find his center. What did he usually say at times like these? For the life of him, he couldn’t remember. Luckily Phillip spoke next.
“I’m sorry to hear your parents are divorced.”
“Oh, it’s for the best, believe me. All they ever did was argue. I was really young, so it’s not like I remember much. How about you? Are your parents still together?”
“Yup. In fact, I think that’s my dad on the porch right there. God, how embarrassing!”
Joey gave a commiserative chuckle as he pulled in the driveway. “Does this mean I can’t come in?”
Phillip appeared taken aback. “I didn’t know you wanted to.”
“Yeah. Of course I do.”
“Okay.”
Joey unbuckled his seatbelt, unsure about the sudden hesitation. Rather than worry about that, he turned his attention to Phillip’s dad. If there was one thing Joey was good at, it was charming the pants off parents. Literally, in the case of one dad he had met.
“Hi, boys!” Phillip’s father said. “I just remembered that I had forgotten to water the lawn.”
Phillip rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”
Joey extended a hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, mister—” Oh god! He didn’t even know his last name! “I mean, sir.”
“Mr. Anthony, but that’s all right. I don’t know your name either.”
“Joseph. Joseph Cooper.”
“Except everyone calls him Joey,” Phillip added. “Aren’t you going to bed?”
“Of course. Of course.”
“We’ll keep it down,” Phillip added when his father failed to leave.
Mr. Anthony looked meaningfully toward Joey. “It is rather late.”
“I know,” Phillip said.
“Well… all right then.”
Mr. Anthony finally went back inside, leaving them alone.
Joey stepped closer. “We could take a shower together. You stand under the hot water and relax, and I’ll wash every inch of you.”
For a moment, he could see that Phillip was interested. He was sure of it! But then Phillip frowned.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you and I aren’t looking for the same thing.”
“I’m pretty sure we are,” Joey said.
“It’s a nice idea. A very nice idea, but it’s the kind of thing I would only do with someone I was in a relationship with.”
Joey just stared. Was he saving himself for his wedding night or something?
“Anyway, thanks for the ride. Good night.”
Phillip pecked him on the cheek like something out of an afterschool school special before he slipped inside his house and closed the door.
Joey walked stiff-legged to the car and sat there a couple of minutes, completely dumbfounded, until he came up with the only possible conclusion. “I knew I should have worn the other shirt.”
* * * * *
Joey stared at himself in the mirror. This wasn’t an unusual activity for him, but now he was doing so with a critical eye. Wasn’t he good enough? His brown eyes and hair weren’t to everyone’s liking, he supposed, even though he had been complimented on them many times. He had what his mother called a Mediterranean skin tone that she claimed came from Greek ancestors. All Joey knew is that he tanned nicely, and he currently had a good amount of sun. As for his body, it wasn’t thin enough to be called skinny nor big enough to be muscular. If Joey had been a porridge, he would have been just right. Maybe that was the problem, but no one had complained before.
There was a knock on his bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“Laundry service!” his mom called.
“Okay.”
His mom came in, lugging a basket of laundry that she set on his bed before starting to put clothes away in his dresser. “Everything okay?” she asked when he continued to stare at himself.
“You don’t put out on the first date, do you?”
“Joseph Cooper!”
“Sorry.” He turned around to face her. “It’s just that, well, there’s this guy.”
“You met someone?” she asked, already much too enthusiastic. “Like a real person and not just a fling?”
“I guess so.”
His mom sat on the edge of his bed, eyes eager for more information.
“We kind of had a rough start,” Joey explained, “but I could tell he was interested. Then, out of the blue, he shot me down.”
“As in he didn’t want to have sex?”
“Right.”
“Honey, everyone moves at their own pace.”
Joey looked skeptical. “Girls, maybe. I’ve been with enough guys to know that we’re all the same.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“I guess I am. Maybe he’s more like a girl or something. Now I need to figure out how to really make him like me. This is probably going to gross me out, but what do you want from a guy?”
His mother looked pleased but soon calmed herself for his benefit. “Well, it’s important to me that a man takes an interest in what I like and that he respects my opinions. That makes me feel important to him. What do you know about this boy?”
Joey hesitated. “I know where he works.”
“Good. And?”
“Okay, so I don’t know much.”
“Start there, then. Call him and get him talking about what he likes.”
The idea wasn’t bad. Joey was genuinely curious to learn about the person who could so effortlessly drive him insane. He supposed that he could do some more online stalking to find the answers, but from the way his mom said it, actually listening to what Phillip had to say was an important part of the process. He didn’t have Phillip’s phone number, but this gave him a good excuse to see him again.
The hour was early enough that Joey didn’t think he would be at work, so after fretting over his appearance, he drove straight over Phillip’s house, feeling more nervous than ever as he ran the doorbell. Mr. Anthony answered.
“Hello, Joey!”
“Hey, Mr. Anthony. Can Phillip come out and play?”
Mr. Anthony laughed appreciatively. “Sorry, he’s not home. I’ll tell him you dropped by. See you around!”
“Wait!” Joey said as the door began to close. “Uh, I know this is kind of weird, but what does he like?”
“Phillip?”
“Yeah. What are his hobbies and stuff.”
“Well, he likes animals. He volunteers at the animal shelter walking dogs. His mother has terrible allergies, so we can’t have one, but he enjoys taking care of them. That’s where he is now.”
“The animal shelter? Right now? Got it! Thanks!”
Joey ran for the car, using one hand to dial information on his cell phone as he turned on the ignition. After making mental note of the address, he gunned it all the way to the animal shelter. How long did it take to walk a few dogs? He hoped Phillip was still there. Joey tore into the parking lot, choosing a far-away space instead of wasting time trying to find one close up, and ran to the front door.
He reached the front desk, panting like an animal himself. “I’d like to volunteer,” he told the woman stationed there.
“That’s great! We have training classes every two weeks. Just come to the next orientation which is… next Sunday I believe. Let me check. No, it’s the Sunday after that.”
“I have to take a class?” Joey asked in disbelief.
“Yes. Everyone does. It only takes a couple of hours.”
Two weeks from now! Joey wanted to scream. “Actually, can I just look around? Maybe I’ll adopt a dog instead.”
“Okay. Well. Go right ahead!”
The shelter wasn’t the happiest place on earth. Joey had expected the dogs to each have a little room to themselves, where people could come in and interact with them. Instead there were walls and walls of cages, all with miserable faces behind them. What a depressing place to volunteer. Then he passed by a window and saw a dog running gleefully over green grass, Phillip barely keeping up as he jogged behind it.
Joey smiled and searched for a backdoor, having to sneak into an employees-only area before he did. He made it outside just as Phillip was returning with the dog.
“Hey!” Joey said. “Fancy seeing you here!”
Phillip appeared surprised but not displeased. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to volunteer.”
“Really? That’s great! Let’s get a couple of dogs!”
The next few minutes were nerve-racking. Phillip chatted idly, putting one dog away and getting two more, while Joey was sure the lady from the front desk would come back at any moment, ending his charade. Luck was on his side. They made it outside with a pair of bull terriers.
“What made you decide to volunteer?” Phillip asked.
“Forget about me!” Joey said desperately. “What about you? Are you an animal lover?”
“Oh, totally. We used to have cats, but my mom’s allergies got worse over the years to the point where even the medication didn’t help. Once the cats had all passed away, I could tell she was a little relieved. My best friend Jason had a dog I used to walk all the time before his family moved away. I missed it afterwards until someone suggested I come here.”
“Yeah, it’s fun!” Joey said, trying not to look as his dog squatted and took care of business.
“Plastic baggie?” Phillip offered.
“Right. Of course.”
Joey struggled to find a way of pinching his nose shut while picking up the poop, but finally had to give up and just get the job done. “We don’t have any pets at home,” he said. “Maybe I should talk to Mom about getting one.”
“You should! They are a lot of responsib
ility, though.”
Joey listened to Phillip go on and on about what an animal needed, the various temperaments of different dog breeds, and the benefits of having cats. To Joey’s surprise, he didn’t need to pretend that he was interested. Just the fact that Phillip cared about this subject made it important to him. By the time they were heading back for more dogs, getting into Phillip’s pants wasn’t even on his mind.
“Excuse me! Sir!”
Oh god! The lady from the front desk had finally noticed his disappearance.
“I have to go,” Joey said, handing the leash to Phillip, “but I’d love to take you out somewhere. A real date, not just a ride home. Say tomorrow? Seven o’clock?”
Phillip was clearly puzzled by his need to leave, but he smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Great!”
Joey ran, and after he made it out of sight, he punched the air in victory. He was going on a date! There was just one problem. He had never really been on a proper date before. Oh sure, he had been out with guys plenty of times, doing things like playing disc golf with Scott, but that was just an extended version of foreplay. His date with Phillip actually meant something. If their previous encounters had taught him anything, it was that Joey’s tried and true techniques wouldn’t get him anywhere. He was going to need help on this one.
* * * * *
“I don’t know what to do!” he whined.
Maggie pulled the lollipop out of her mouth and rolled her eyes. “You’ll do fine.”
“I won’t! Besides, you promised to tell me all of your secrets if I paid for your pedicure.”
The Asian woman working on Maggie’s feet looked up, as if verifying that she would indeed get her money. She should know that Joey was good for it since he was a client here at least once a month.
“Of course I’m paying,” Joey said from the chair next to hers. “Now make with the advice. What’s a guy have to do on a date to get you in the sack?”
“Not much,” Maggie snorted before getting serious. “It’s the little things that count. Holding the door open for me, listening to what I have to say and at least pretending I’m the most interesting person in the world. Not looking at other women, or men, in your case. That’s a big one. You want to make him feel special, like he deserves to be treated well because of who he is to you.”