Release

  Johannes bent down to check that the newborn calf was happily nursing. Once satisfied all was well, he closed the gate and ran down to the dense area of bush land behind his house in search of Tiegal. He was desperate to hear her voice again, although he knew he had to be careful. It would be foolish of him to frighten her with his deepest thoughts, this powerful attraction he felt towards her. Yet, he just couldn’t help himself.Those eyes of hers! They really were a portal to another world. He just wanted to get closer to her, to see where they would take him. These were crazy thoughts, he knew this, but she really had enchanted him. She was just so deliciously different, so beautifully out-of-the ordinary.

  By the time he reached her, sitting patiently by the old tree swing his father had built for him as a child, she was already smiling and nodding, as though she were amused by what she could hear.

  “Oh dear! Why do I get the feeling you are one step ahead of me again?” he teased as he pulled on the rope to give her swing some momentum. “So, tell me again how this works. You sometimes choose to hear what I am thinking and other times you turn it off?”

  He knew what her answer would be, but he enjoyed teasing her. It always made her skin radiate more heat and her eyes flash just that much brighter. It even allowed his imagination to stretch that much further. He could almost picture her fire – the energy that she had told him about – dancing its flames under her skin.

  “Here we go again,” she groaned. “Johannes, I keep telling you. I don’t have any control over here. I used to be able to access the minds of others in my other world, but I can’t do this so easily with you. It’s only sometimes …mainly when you are more tired, like now for example. Then, I seem to catch a bit more of what you feel,” she explained as she stretched herself out into the shape of an angel lying on her back in the long silvery grass.

  Without hesitating he lay down next to her, turning onto his side to face her, and resting his head on the palm of his hand. He was more than tired, exhausted even. The prospect of keeping the farm running in this way - balancing his chores whilst sneaking out to see Tiegal - was unthinkable. He had hardly slept in weeks. But then, it didn’t help that he was so worried about anyone finding Tiegal. And he would do anything he could to keep her hidden.

  “Has Annarita asked you any more questions?”

  Tiegal had her eyes closed. He knew she loved to catch the last rays of sun before it settled, so that she could prepare herself for the darkness and the big reveal of the African star lit sky she always found so magical. She said it reminded her of earlier days, and a girl called Zeno who she used to make dreams with.

  It was the reason they always met at this time, here in this open space, in the bush at the back of his family farm. Well, one of the reasons. It helped that it was also close to the cabin; an area no one ever ventured near anymore. Not since the day the cabin became such a dark place.

  He shook head, determined to banish these thoughts from his mind. This area was the perfect spot for her to hide out during the day and the cabin was the most obvious place for her to sleep, for now.

  “I told you Tiegal. Don’t worry about my sister. She is too exhausted looking after her baby and helping me run the farm to worry about what I am doing all the time! She probably assumes I am sneaking around and being improper with some local girl anyway.”

  A waft of heat from her body hit his face. It made him gasp.

  “You did it again!” he cried.

  “I did what?” Tiegal whispered. Her eyes were open now, flickering more rapidly than usual.

  Something he had said must have alarmed her in some way; or excited her. He was never sure which.

  “You made a morning sunrise,” he suggested. Poetic metaphors had never been his strength, as much as he had tried when he was with Elna, but he was getting better at them now he was spending time with Tiegal, the bubble girl.

  “You called me bubble girl!” She teased him.

  “I knew you could hear me.”

  “Just a few words and thoughts. It’s an intermittent connection,” she clarified. “And your comparison to my sudden body heat being like a sunrise is beautiful Johannes. I understand what you mean. Do you remember how I told you about our morning mantra on Tandro?”

  He nodded. Everything she told him about her world fascinated him. And there were many things he thought were truly wonderful about it. He had even begged for her to find a way for them to transport over there together. But that request always made her skin turn cold. He knew that it terrified her to think that she may wake up and find herself back there again.

  “I am an island. I am fire! Yes, I even chant it myself now,” he admitted.

  “Well, don’t Johannes! I didn’t tell you that because it is a good thing. I told you because I wanted you to understand why it was so hard for me to live there. I am not an island, and neither are you. Do you even understand what chanting such things turns you into?” She stood up and started gathering sticks into the folds of her skirt. She always did this, in readiness for a sunset fire

  Johannes rubbed his eyes. He didn’t have the energy for such philosophizing between worlds right now, and he always found watching her build a fire unnerving. It made him feel ashamed. It reminded him of Elna and the day they had first kissed, when he had suggested collecting sticks for a fire on her birthday. And, of another fire. One he had been helpless to control.

  Tiegal stopped in her tracks and turned to glare at him.

  “I sometimes wonder if you feel guilty when it rains? You can’t take responsibility for everything,” she bristled. “It’s when you think of her that I hear you the most you know.”

  Her voice was a whisper. It reminded him of the smoke of the fire soon to be made; a dance of carbon particles suspended in the air, and of the nightmares that plagued him. Of a mother that had left this earth. And another nightmare, even worse, where Tiegal and her bubble vanished before him.

  “What do you mean Tiegal?” he finally dared to ask.

  She let the sticks fall into a pile near his feet and then slumped down in front of him, her legs curled underneath her dirty skirt. He sat up to face her, making a mental note to remind himself that he needed to find her some more clothes.

  “I mean that you still think of her Johannes. You feel some kind of shame that we are friends like this. That you think of me in such…ways.”

  “Because it makes me feel guilty.”

  He could not bring himself to look at her. The way her eyes flashed would give away her emotions. They always did. Her eyes always revealed her feelings that he could somehow read, more than any human eyes he had ever connected with.

  He had thought about this a lot recently; that he may not have the power to access her thoughts, but he could feel things about her emotions he had never thought possible.

  “I know it makes you feel guilty.” She placed her hot hand on his cheek. “You think I smell more familiar than she did. And that I would probably kiss like her too, but perhaps even better? And that makes you feel bad. It makes you want to put a boundary between us?” She challenged.

  He could feel the heat of the blush in his cheeks.

  “So, you see Johannes, that thinking of yourself as an island like my world people do, is not so good.”

  He frowned.

  “Now you’ve lost me,” he said.

  She reached her hands out to close around his.

  “I mean that we are all full of energy and yes we have to protect this, like it is a fire that needs fuel, but to think of ourselves as a place that no one can enter…it is not right Johannes. It means we do not burn the way we really should. I want people to enter my island and enjoy my fire. I don’t want to travel on the edge of other islands, only exchanging fuel when I need to, like cargo boats that float around the boundaries between guarded lands. Because what is the point in that? Then we all just return to our individual islands on our own again. We are just lonely beings with only flickers of flames to keep us warm.”<
br />
  Johannes stared at her and then leaned back, his body rigid, letting himself fall into the grass in a deliberately dramatic fashion. Luckily, she laughed at him.

  “Oh please don’t think I am so crazy. I was hoping you understood me, perhaps a little?” she pleaded. He watched with fascination as she crossed her hands together, as though she were praying. Her gesture surprised him. Their recent talks about the concept of a higher being - a God- had left her utterly confused, if not amused. It made him wonder, for a moment, if Tiegal had taken to exploring the area beyond these bushes. He had warned her of the dangers such venturing could entail, but he suspected she was far too curious by nature to obey all his instructions. Something told him she was naturally rebellious. It was easy to picture her peeking through the church windows in the town, observing the religious statues in the early hours when no one else was awake.

  “It’s not easy to understand any girl when you are just a simple farmer boy like me Tiegal, but you take it to a whole other level,” he teased.

  The blank look she gave him made him feel strange in a way he could not place. There was something different about her today. It took a few seconds for him to clock that it was her eyes. They were no longer flashing as brightly as they had when she had first arrived. What had it been now? Just over a month. Not a long time and yet, it seemed she was already adapting to her surroundings. Tiegal was looking more and more human every day.

  Still, as incredible as this was, he knew that she must still be feeling very lost and alone, hiding out here, waiting for stolen moments with him.

  He beckoned for her to lie next to him on the grass. This was the deepest conversation they had shared. Something was already changing between them, he could feel it. It was like she had described to him. The energies between people flow in a positive way when they are open to the experience.

  “You can feel it can’t you?” she asked him as she lay down, parallel to him. Her breath smelled so sweet and pure. He wasn’t even sure how she was surviving on the small parcels of food he had managed to sneak away from Annarita and Kagiso’s watchful eyes, but yet she carried a scent of ocean breeze and warm honey, sweet and sweaty after being left out in the midday sun. In fact, it was anything but stale or dehydrated as you might expect.

  “I can feel something very strong, very real and very right about us, yes, Tiegal,” he answered.

  “Then maybe we should see where that connection could take us?” She reached out to stroke his cheek with the back of her hand.

  “Why did you tell me you know I think about kissing you? Were you testing my reaction?” he dared.

  “I said you thought I would kiss like Elna did.”

  Johannes sat up and turned away from her.

  “Why do you keep bringing her up? She’s gone! I can’t see how this energy you talk of will flow between us if it gets mixed up with things that are no longer relevant.”

  “Because, Johannes, you are still broken by something. And whatever it is, you’ve hidden it so deeply that even I can’t reach it!”

  She ran her hand through his hair and then held her hot palm under his chin.

  “You need to let it go Johannes. Because, whatever it is, it is hurting you more than you realise.”

  Sensing she had more to say, he waited, listening to her ragged breathing. It sounded as if she were close to tears.

  “And it’s stopping you from…from connecting with me!” she finished.

  The tear that ran down her cheek confirmed what he had suspected. That once again, he was in danger of losing something precious, someone more valuable than anything he could have ever wished to find.

  17. Shivers

  The loud bang on the door made her jump with fright. Her heart pounding, she ran to the corner of the cabin and huddled herself into a ball on the floor.

  Go away! Whoever you are, please just go away.

  There was a treacherous storm blowing outside and she knew it was long past the normal bedtime for the people who lived in this area. Johannes had already been and gone earlier this evening, apologizing that he had farm chores to attend and that he would return in the morning. Whoever was standing outside her door now must be a stranger. She was in serious trouble.

  It was only a matter of time before the fragile wooden door would give way and, when it did, she had no idea how she could defend herself. There was nothing in here other than the bed, a wooden crate, a small chair and the few items of clothing that Johannes had given her.

  Closing her eyes tight she gripped the hem of her nightdress and steeled herself for whatever would happen next.

  “Tiegal! OPEN the door!”

  “Johannes?” she dared, not sure if her ears had betrayed her. It made no sense for him to be here now, in the middle of the night and during the worst kind of weather she had ever experienced. Plus, they had a code for his knock: four, short little raps – tat, ta, ta, tat. They had agreed on it, so that she would know it was him and not a random stranger wandering through the bush.

  “Yes, it’s me! Can you open the door? I’m freezing out here. I got caught in this storm whilst fishing. Foolish, I know, but...please can you let me in.”

  Tiegal shook her head in disbelief. He really was here! There was no mistaking that husky voice of his.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m coming right now.”

  Unclenching her fists, she let her nightdress fall and ran over to let him in.

  As soon as she saw him standing there, his hair and clothes soaking wet and his skin a terrifying shade of creamy blue, she knew it was not her life she had to fear, it was his.

  Alarmed, she pulled him towards her and closed the door behind them, quickly pushing some spare sheets against the bottom of the door frame.

  “You look terrible Johannes. And you scared me turning up like this,” she started and then stopped. He really did look desperately ill.

  Johannes did not say anything, he just stumbled over to the chair and slumped down into it. A part of her wanted to scream at him, to demand that he explain why he had exposed his body to such awful weather conditions, but she bit down on her lip instead. There would be time for explanations later. Right now, he needed her help.

  “You need to warm up! Your body is shaking Johannes. You look like a tree trying to withstand a storm. Let me give you some of my heat.” She could smell the threat of death on his skin.

  Johannes didn’t look as though he had heard her. Or if he had, he was being stubborn.

  “I’m not going to ask you again. I’m telling you to get into this bed with me now so that I can warm you up,” she demanded.

  He squeezed his eyes shut, wincing in obvious discomfort. He looked close to drifting into a deep sleep, one she feared he may not emerge from. Not unless she did something.

  She waited for a few seconds, to see if he would move from the chair. But when he curled his knees under his chin, wrapping his shaking arms around his legs, she knew she was going to have to do something drastic.

  “I am not going to lose you Johannes. I will do whatever it takes.”

  She pulled her nightdress over her head and slipped under the bed sheets. Careful to ensure he was still unaware of her movements, she then reached underneath the bed in search for the box he had given her not long after she had arrived here, the one that contained her Derado.

  Connecting with this part of her other world was a risky strategy. She had no way of knowing whether activating it with her body and energy again would take her away from this world. It was quite possible that it could catapult her back to Tandro, and towards a danger of her own. Yet there was no choice. Her heat from her energy release was the only way to save him. Yes, it ran the risk of transporting her away again, but this was Johannes’ life at stake. A young, beautiful, strong life that she absolutely must ensure survived.

  Casting her fears aside she placed it around her neck. At first, the metal of her Derado felt cold on her skin but it warmed up as soon as she pressed the pink
diamond. Her colour energy released instantly and the white bed sheets that covered her naked frame glowed with luminous pink.

  The reaction was quicker than she had anticipated. There were two things she needed to check as a first response: if she were still solid in body, and whether Johannes had noticed her colourful light display coming from the bed.

  She squeezed the flesh around her legs to check that they were still firm and intact.

  Okay, that’s a good sign. I’m not disappearing, not yet!

  Her sigh of relief revealed itself as a mist in the space above her bed. There was a cold draught in this cabin that no amount of sheets stuffed under the door could withhold, an even more compelling reason for her to find a quick way to warm Johannes up.

  She looked over to the chair. Johannes was no longer there. He was now standing by the side of her bed.

  “Wh…wh... what are doing now?” his voice trembled.

  She could hear the confusion in his thoughts. His mind was racing with theories.

  “No, you’re not hallucinating. It’s my colour release. I’m heating myself up for you. You need my energy Johannes. Now get in the bed. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  She pulled out her hand from under the cover to take hold of his and encourage him to make a move.

  “You sh…sh ...shouldn’t play with that necklace T…T...Tiegal. We ttt…talked about this. It’s how you tttransport.”

  “Get in the bed now Johannes! You can hardly stand, never mind walk.” She sat up on her knees and fixed her hands under his armpits, in the shape of a handshake, and then pulled him gently onto the mattress next to her. He groaned as his body hit the hardness of the wooden planks of the make-shift bed they had put together in the cabin Tiegal now called her home.

  “Are you naked Tiegal?” he managed.