Release

  “Tiegal!” he shouted when he finally saw her. Her face was frightened and child-like. The water around her only reached her waist. The sight of her made a sob form in his throat. He forced it back, determined to conceal the terror he felt at what he saw. Ripples of red-coloured water circled around her. She was naked, her hair, now grown longer, only just covered her breasts, and she shivered violently. But it was her eyes that made his body stiffen. They were sparkling, emerald-green circle pools, and surrounded by brilliant white. She looked like a beautiful, human girl. One who was swimming in a pool of her own blood.

  The only thing that betrayed her new earthly look was the diamond neckpiece she wore around her neck. Her Derado that was now radiating pink light and emitting bursts of colour mists in response to each sway her body made.

  Not hesitating, he slid his bottom down the muddy bank to reach the water. As he waded towards her, she calmed her cries, reducing them to small sobs and whimpers.

  “Come on now, it’s all okay. You probably just cut yourself on a stone or a branch under the water that’s all.”

  These were words intended to soothe her, and they seemed to be working, but inside, he felt waves of utter fear rush through him. His heart raced like a tribal drum on a new moon eve.

  “Wh…wh…why are you thinking about a river monster?” she stammered as he reached her side. Without stopping to answer her question, he turned around to offer her his back.

  “Jump on Tiegal. We need to get you out of here,” he ordered, splashing his hands against the surface of the water in the direction of the riverbank. The moment he felt her slippery skin glide over his shirt and her weight fully positioned over the arch of his spine, he set off wading them both back to the river edge. He counted each stride he made in silence, conscious that her ability to access his thoughts was clearly still active, even if her face had become less Tandroan in the last twenty-four hours.

  With every ounce of energy left inside him he pulled them both up the sandy bank and lowered her down into a softer patch of grass. He didn’t dare glance at her body. He was too afraid of where the blood could be coming from. Instead, he yanked at some river leaves and placed them over her legs and focused his gaze on the mesmerising green of her new emerald-coloured irises.

  “Thank you,” he heard. It was such a small sound he was not sure whether it came from her mouth, or the whisper of the trees behind them. She didn’t seem to be in any pain. If anything, she appeared content, sitting with her legs splayed forward and her arms arched back, hands fanned out behind her. But then, just under her knee a trickle of deep ruby-red blood appeared, meandering its way into a river across the sand towards him.

  He stiffened, unable to breathe as he watched the bloody scene before him. Tiegal didn’t scream this time. In contrast to her earlier cries, she seemed resigned – fascinated even – by the liquid.

  “It’s not a river monster Johannes. I heard your fear that it was. Although I can’t imagine why you would believe such stories of things.”

  He couldn’t bring himself to respond to her. His voice was stuck somewhere in a strangled knot that had formed in his throat.

  “Even if something like that did exist, I would smell it a mile away. Danger is my easiest scent,” she continued, as she scooped up a pile of sand and let it trickle through her fingers to cover the blood around her. “I’m sorry I scared you. I don’t know why I screamed like I did.”

  “Tiegal, you are bleeding from somewhere. Of course, you were going to scream. I just don’t know what to think could have happened or why?” he trailed off, turning away from her as he rummaged his hands through his thick coarse hair.

  “Where does it hurt? Did you do something to yourself?” he dared to ask, not courageous enough to face her. He knew he should check for the site of the bleeding but something instinctive stopped him from doing so.

  Her disappointment in his choice of words was obvious.

  “No! Of course not. I would never do that to you,” she said.

  “Sorry…I just don’t, or can’t imagine what could have happened out here and I’m damned scared to even ask you right now. I thought you had left me Tiegal, your clothes and shoes are all in the cabin, neatly folded away as though ready to be returned to my house, and then I hear your screaming out here in the water like this, with blood all around you! Someone, anyone could have heard you and discovered you out here like this. Naked and so fragile and…”

  “Human?” she answered for him.

  He let out a cry, a deep guttural moan

  “I thought I’d lost you!” he wept. It was his release. It came from somewhere caged, and now free, from deep inside him.

  The soft fleshy pads of her fingertips pressed down on his forehead, playing invisible piano keys on his skin. Slowly, but deliberately, her hands moved down to wipe away his tears, cupping his cheeks with her warmth. He knew then that she was okay. Whatever had caused her to bleed was not something he had to fear.

  “I dreamed that this would happen. I’m bleeding like a girl, a human girl, Johannes. I think my body has made a decision to be of this Earth.” It was an announcement, a decision. He could sense her smile without needing to turn his face to her. He was enjoying the feeling of her hands on his face too much.

  He nodded, eyes still closed, twisting his lips to kiss her wrist as she caressed his face. A part of him knew it was dangerous for them to stay here like this, her with no clothes and bleeding from her private area, but he sensed she was not afraid.

  “So, your eyes are green like a human girl, and you bleed as one who can now breed, but yet you can still hear the crazy words in my head?”

  The sound of her laughter startled him into opening his eyes. Her face was now inches from his, both of them shadowing each other for the first time now that her Tandro eye-light had disappeared.

  “I didn’t read your mind this time, my love, you strode into the river shouting about a monster. I think it was you who can no longer hear the difference between what you think and what you say.”

  The moisture on her lips glistened in the low sunlight as he pulled his face back enough to survey the new combination of her features. He decided then that he was going to kiss her, hard, and with the passion he had been holding back until now.

  “You’re going to kiss me?”

  “I thought you couldn’t read my mind?”

  “I think I can still do that. It’s not all gone away, but I didn’t need to Johannes.”

  It was his turn to cup her cheeks in his hands.

  “I don’t want it all to go away – what makes you so you - but I am glad you feel more grounded here now. Maybe we can have the best of both worlds after all?”

  Not waiting for a response, he took off his shirt and placed it under her bottom, signalling her to wrap it around herself where necessary. When she was happily tied up in her makeshift covering, he cleared the leaves away from her and scooped her into his arms.

  “I can walk Johannes,” she protested, giving him a playful punch on his arm.

  “Tiegal you walked over here all by yourself. You must have been full of fear and sadness. But that’s all gone now. And I’m going to carry you away from it all, like a man should carry his girl, his very human girl. And take her back to where she belongs,” he determined, in a voice hoarse with emotion.

  “Back to bed - with you,” she agreed.

  22. Memories

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Johannes asked. His warm breath tickled the inside of her ear, making her entire body shudder against his.

  “I’m very sure.” Tiegal answered. She nodded, a little too enthusiastically, causing an awkward collision as their foreheads knocked against each other’s. They both laughed, holding each other tighter in response to the nervous energy between them. She could hear the rush of excitable thoughts running through Johannes’ mind: his desire for her, every part of who she was, and where she had come from. Just hearing these thoughts made her feel a stran
ge aching inside, a desperate urge to answer his need.

  She blinked in surprise at the new sounds she was making in anticipation of their physical intentions. A sigh, a gasp, hints of pleasurable moans that must have been restrained inside her all this time. She even let out a tiny squeal when he rolled them both over from a side-ways embrace, to one where she fit perfectly underneath him.

  “And are you sure you are not going to go anywhere?” he asked, for the second time since they had taken their clothes off and climbed under the sheets together.

  “I am sure! And you are stalling.” she breathed. “I told you. I have been dreaming about this every night since…. well, you know…”

  She stammered, unsure whether to use the obvious word to explain what she was referring to. Johannes raised his eyebrows to her.

  “You mean since the day when you tried to leave me?” he suggested.

  “No, silly, I mean since the day I started being more human, when I started to bleed!”

  She coughed, allowing them both a nervous pause to absorb this reminder of that shocking day.

  “And… I wasn’t really trying to leave you. I just didn’t know what was happening to me,” she reminded him.

  She wriggled her hips to move her body slightly lower down the mattress, to where she sensed their bodies would fit together more naturally. They were both stalling now, but she wasn’t worried about that. She had seen how making this connection together would play out in her dreams. It was one of the most useful dream prophecies she had ever experienced. Neither of them had done anything like this before, nor had any idea of what doing such things was supposed to look, or feel like, in practice. She knew that Johannes’ family had been conservative in their talk of such things. Even his friends and his sister had shied away from revealing what occurred in the marital bedroom after the lights were turned off.

  And she was just as ignorant. Growing up in Tandro, the idea of letting someone enter your body – your island – was considered barbaric. Her entire upbringing had been one long attempt to indoctrinate a belief system in her that ‘making love’ was a fairy tale ideal from a destructive time. Viewing it as a natural act of desire was akin to calling yourself an animal, with no respect for your own body.

  It was such a false philosophy. Even as a young kimberling she knew serious errors, lies, underlay Atla’s teachings. This knowledge had been as instinctive to her as believing her dreams really could come true, and even, that she would one day find herself in the world she truly belonged to.

  Nothing was going to stop her now. She was prepared for what they were about to do together. It was a gift, this foresight of hers. She knew how different this was than the animalistic way her fellow Tandroans had always objected to. Even Johannes had finally accepted that she was human enough now, that she could separate herself from what she had been told to believe.

  As she had reasoned with him, “It’s so stupid this comparison to animal procreation and how we desire each other. How we want to connect because of how it feels. We are more evolved than that now. We can attach ourselves to each other and still look into each other’s eyes. How could that be wrong? What could be more energizing than that? In a truly deep way?”

  This was her argument. She knew this way of talking shocked Johannes, but he liked it really, and he seemed to understand why she needed to dissect her philosophies between her two worlds. That’s why they had agreed that it was time. They were both ready to be truly human, together.

  There were no doubts in her mind about this. Now, she just had to make sure they enacted version one from her dreams, the safe one, and not the one where they took it too far. There were too many dangerous versions of what happened if that scenario occurred. She just wanted to make this about the two of them, together, as far as they could take it.

  “It’s all going to be fine. Just remember what I said about reaching the peak. That’s when you need to…” she started to warn him, but his hand covered her mouth in a gentle brush to stop her from ending the sentence.

  “Tiegal! Please. Just stop talking. It’s excruciating breaking it down like this.”

  “Sorry! I’m just excited…and scared too,” she admitted.

  “And please don’t listen to my thoughts during this either,” he begged her as he moved his hand from her lips so that he could trace the outline of her eyebrows with his finger and down to her jaw line in a circular motion. She knew he was concentrating on maintaining his self-control.

  “I’ll try,” she answered. It was as good a promise as she could give him. His desire for her was almost screaming out of him. It was almost impossible to shut it out, even if she had evolved to a more human-like state. She only wished he could hear how much she wanted him too, but she had learnt her lesson. Thinking out loud always created distractions in these tender moments together, and she knew he preferred to kiss and touch her, rather than discuss every detail as it happened.

  You can do this Tiegal. Show him how you feel in your touch and let it happen.

  She urged her body to relax into the moment. To feel the kissing, exploring, and the pressure between his hips that he tentatively pushed towards her. Her hands moved down to his solid abdomen. His muscles tensed in anticipation of her touch. She tried to follow the sequence she had practiced in her dreams, and the voice from somewhere inside her that reminded her it was his first time too – only, he didn’t have the benefit of foresight that she did.

  Closing her eyes, she pushed her tongue further inside his mouth in a bid to convince him she was feeling as thrilled as she knew he was by what they were doing together.

  They kissed like this, their bodies moving against each other’s in a gentle rhythm, for as long as they could both control themselves, and then, when she could tell he was getting anxious, she pushed her hips into him, using her hand to guide him. It was easier, and more natural than she had imagined. They fit perfectly together, as though they had connected in this way together, many times and moons before.

  Once they realised what they had achieved, they both released their unrestrained pleasure at the same time, a harmony of uninhibited sounds, instantly muffled by tongues and lips, urgently dancing together.

  “Tiegal. I’m inside you. And… you’re still here.”

  She heard him say the words in her ear, but she didn’t respond. It didn’t warrant a verbal response. She just held him tighter, letting him know she was indeed still here, all intact, strong, and still in his world - their world now, together - even if her old magic still burned inside her.

  As their movement became faster, she became aware of a dance of electric currents jolting from her fingertips. This was not a surprise. She had seen this part too, how the remnants of her Tandroan elements would make their appearance in this moment. Fortunately, she had also had the foresight to pre-warn him.

  “Hey, you’re sparking, like you said you would!” she heard him grunt, and not with displeasure.

  “Am I hurting you?”

  “Shh…no…it feels good I’m just…”

  She could see he was struggling to control what his body would do next, as their rhythm became even faster, but she didn’t want him to stop, not just yet.

  “Look at me!” she whispered. She arched her hips upwards then, urging him to raise them both higher, feeling the need to position her body into the shape of a crescent, so only her shoulders and head still touched the bed.

  “That’s making it even stronger,” he protested.

  “Look at me!” she tried again, biting her lip, aware that there was not much time before this scenario would revert to the second version of her dream prophecy.

  When his eyes finally met hers, she breathed a sigh of relief. Her colours were all around her now. It was only a faint mist, but it was enough to stall the explosion. Johannes’ shoulders instantly relaxed as he watched her glow dancing between them. He was still connected to her, but she could see he was now able to find a pace he could control. She heard his relie
f and knew they were back to the version she had been wishing for.

  “Can you feel that?” she dared to ask.

  “I think I feel a bit of everything” he finally managed to respond.

  “I mean, can you feel my energy, mixing with yours now?”

  She fanned out her fingers in the space between them, relishing the pleasurable wave of the movement. He matched his fingertips to hers and in the moment their skin met, a flash of light sparked between them, quickly followed by a burst of colours glowing in-between. Pinks and amethyst from her, and a faint green and blue emanating from him.

  “That’s me?” he marvelled.

  “It’s you, my love. Pull me up, so I can sit on you. I want to try something else.”

  Without hesitating he reached underneath her, where her skin was soft and fleshy, and pulled her up and on top of him. She quickly wrapped her legs around him.

  “How are you doing this so well?”

  She placed her finger on his lips, gently shushing him.

  “Just move with me slowly and look into my eyes. I know what’s coming next and it’s even better,” she promised.

  This was the part where she knew she must watch her breathing. Her dreams had promised that being in this position with him would feel even more exquisite – and it was. But she just didn’t want to let herself go too soon, knowing she would have to extricate herself from him as soon as she did.

  Aware that her fingers were still active with the hot coloured sparks, she moved them around his back in a bid to keep herself balanced whilst ensuring she did not burn him at the same time. It seemed to add to his pleasure, his body responded in muscle spasms wherever she touched it.

  They were both burning hot now, but somehow their skin was still dry. And the smell in the air was almost overwhelming. Still, she inhaled in their combined scents and then lowered her mouth into the soft skin on his shoulders, sinking her teeth in as gently as she could. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she knew she needed to channel this rush of surplus energy that being connected to him had conjured.