by J. C. Burke
'Scary.'
'I was just reminding Megan about the new shark rule in case it visits us again.'
'I know it,' I told him. 'You wave your hands and point at the water.'
'And paddle in to shore,' Jake said.
'Quickly,' I added.
Through the far window you could see the small section of walkway that led from our bungalow. I watched it, waiting for Kia's and Micki's heads to appear.
I did my three sets of upper body work with exactly thirty seconds' rest in between, but still no sign of them. Next I climbed onto the bike for forty minutes' cardio training. By 13:09 minutes in, I realised Micki and Kia were going to be a no show.
For the entire time Megan had not shut up. If she wasn't talking she was groaning; if she wasn't groaning she was singing; if she wasn't singing she was talking – on and on and on it went until I wanted to gag her with my shoes. The only reason I didn't was because her mouth was full of gum and my trainers were brand new.
So I had nothing left to do but think about my surf with Jules. It was going to be tricky taking him out again but maybe I could make an arrangement with Carla. I'd use the angle that Jules was an elite sportsman and it was good experience for me teaching someone like him how to surf.
Really, I didn't hold out much hope. In fact, I held none. Carla'd even said to me, 'This is a one off, Georgie, don't make me regret it.' Then she'd explained the only reason she was letting me go for a surf with him at all was because she'd met Jules in January at the end of camp and knew he was a solid citizen. Plus, she'd added, 'He's Ace's boyfriend. It's not like you'll be getting up to anything. I wouldn't be letting Ace go!'
What that meant was that Ace couldn't be trusted with the opposite sex or rather the opposite sex couldn't be trusted with Ace. But me? No! It was a totally different situation for Georgie, the eternal spinster or maybe even a candidate for the convent. A boy, be tempted by Georgie? What a ridiculous thought!
'Hey, Georgie, you and the bike are going to fly out the window if you don't slow down!'
'Huh?'
I looked up. Jake was standing at the handlebars. The sweat was dripping off my face and hair.
'You're going to blow a valve, girl,' he said.
'Sorry. Just got carried away.'
'Jake, don't you know she's letting out her sexual tension? She just went surfing with a very, very hot babe!' Megan cackled and slapped her thighs. 'Hey, Georgie, maybe your Starfish Sisters will help you out. What's left of them, that is.'
I ignored Megan's comments. I ignored her hyena laugh polluting the air in the gym. I was not going to waste my energy on her now. No, I'd store it up and unleash it in the surf. Then I'd push her to the wire.
'You're super fit,' Jake said to me, pressing the bike's 'cool down' button. 'Shyan was saying this morning how amazing you're looking.'
I got off the bike and buried my head in the water fountain.
Where the hell were Kia and Micki? I was going to kill them for not turning up.
KIA
'Ace read Micki's diary?' Georgie spat. 'I just can't – '
'Shut up.' I put my hand over Georgie's mouth and gently closed the door of the bungalow behind us. 'We'll talk about it down at the beach, otherwise Megan'll wake up.'
I shone the torch across the lawn.
'Well, you could've waited till we were down there to tell me.'
'Oh what, you would've come down to the beach with us?' I whispered back to Georgie. 'You've had the poos with Micki and me since we didn't come to the gym.'
'Well, sorry! But how was I to know –'
'Ouch!' Micki stumbled. 'Can you keep the torch on the ground, Kia?'
'Sorry.'
Behind me, the figures of Micki and Georgie wrapped in blankets followed my trail of light across the grass, past the board shed and down to the sand.
'Okay,' Georgie said, 'now can I yell?'
'Not too loud,' I warned.
'There's no way Megan'll wake up,' Micki told us. 'I think tonight's the first night she's actually slept.'
'Her snoring is worse than yours, Georgie.'
'Gee, thanks, Kia.'
We must've looked like three caterpillars wrapped in cocoons as we sat on the sand with our blankets around us. It was cold. As we spoke, white vapour shot from our mouths and then disappeared into the darkness.
'So, start from the beginning,' said Georgie.
'When Micki –'
'Kia! Can Micki please do the talking?'
I shone the torch on Georgie's face. I hated it when she was Little Miss Bossy and had to be in charge of everything. Did she ever think that maybe I wanted to have a go?
'Sorry, Micki,' Georgie said.
Micki was beginning to wriggle about on the sand and I started to feel bad that Georgie and I had been going on at each other. It wasn't the time to behave like that. Why did I always see it when it was too late?
Now Micki was silent and I was scared she'd lost her nerve.
In the torchlight I could see her eyes like tiny slits hidden amongst eyelids that were puffy and red. They reminded me of two caves with openings so narrow and tight you'd never get inside.
'I'm sorry I told you I'd been vomiting,' Micki told Georgie. 'I just didn't know what to say about . . .' Micki turned to me and I smiled and nodded. 'I didn't know how to say what'd happened.'
'Don't worry about that, Micki,' answered Georgie. 'It's not like you were telling some big lie.'
'That's the thing,' I began and then stopped. Again I shone the torch Micki's way. This time it was to see the nod and smile from her. I needed Micki to give me permission to say what I was about to say. 'We've all been telling lies. Or rather, we've kept stuff hidden from one another. If we still want to be the Star–'
'We're not the Starfish Sisters anymore,' Micki uttered.
The strange thing was that Georgie nodded in agreement.
'I'm sorry, Kia,' Micki whispered. 'I know you don't want to think of it like that.'
I sat up straight and loosened the blanket from my shoulders. This wasn't meant to be part of the conversation. Of course we were still the Starfish Sisters. That'd never been in question.
'So, Ace read your diary?' Georgie asked. 'Are you sure of that?'
'Ninety-nine per cent sure. I thought you – you –' she stammered.
'No way!' Georgie's voice shot up into the stars. 'If I knew Ace'd read your diary . . . I mean, what a bitch. What a low thing to do. As if I'd not say anything.'
'So, you didn't know?' This time I asked Georgie.
'No, Kia. I swear. I swear – ahh!' Georgie gasped and wrapped her arms around her head. 'I've just thought of something.' Now Georgie's head was buried in her lap and she was going, 'No, no, no!'
'What? Tell us!'
'Ace told me something and I couldn't figure out how she knew. But now it makes sense. She must've read it in your diary, Micki. Oh, I can't believe it. What an idiot I was!'
'What . . . did . . . she . . . tell . . . you?'
The fear in Micki's voice made me want to go over and hold her. But I knew by the way she was sitting that she didn't want anyone near her. I'd sat like that before, many times.
'She said that you were moving in with Kia's family.'
'She said that!' I almost shrieked.
'Is that . . . all she told you?'
'Yes, Micki. I swear.' Georgie had started to cry. Not big Georgie snorts, just little sniffs with a few tears.
'Georgie?' A calmness had washed over Micki. Maybe it was like the calmness you feel because you've made your decision. I know that feeling. 'There are things I need to tell you, Georgie.'
'Okay. It's just us.'
Micki cleared her throat. No sound followed.
'Hey, it's just us,' Georgie said again. 'You said that to me in the car, on the way to camp. Remember? When I was freaking out about the OP guy.'
Micki kind of nodded but kind of shook her head too.
'It's um, it's not like t
he OP thing. It's got nothing to do with surfing.'
'Okay.'
'It's stuff about my family. Well, my mum and dad.'
'Yeah?'
'Um. . . um . . .' Micki's hands were pressed against her chest. 'You know how I told you that my dad was sick? Well, he is sick. Um, but it's different to um . . .'
'To . . .?'
'It's different to . . . normal sick.'
'Different?' Georgie was on her knees leaning towards Micki.
'Yeah, different,' Micki repeated. 'My dad –' Micki stopped, then started again in a voice that was loud and clear. 'My dad's an addict. A drug addict.'
Georgie sat back on her heels.
'He has been for a long time. That's why I'm going to live with Kia.'
'It's been really hard for Micki,' I added. 'She has to do everything for him.'
Georgie's fingers were making circles in the sand.
Come on, say something. Say something, Georgie. Please. You were doing so good before. You were saying all the right things. Come on.
My heart was pumping like crazy. I had told Micki, almost promised her, that Georgie would be able to handle it. Now Georgie was just sitting there, silent.
'Georgie?' I prompted.
She didn't move. I shone the torch on her face. Georgie was crying. I'd never seen her sob so silently before. To be honest, her tears made me feel good. Now Micki would know that it had been okay to tell.
'What . . .' Georgie whispered. 'What sort of drugs does your dad take?'
'He's on a drug called methadone. He's got to go to a clinic to get it. It's a drug that a doctor orders. Methadone stops him from using heroin,' Micki explained. 'Well, it's meant to stop him but – but it doesn't always. Most of the time it does. Lately, though, say the last year and a half, he hasn't been doing so good.'
'So . . . so it's good that you're going to live with Kia. Isn't it?'
Micki lowered her head. 'I feel really bad about leaving Dad.'
Georgie and I exchanged a glance. What could you say back to that?
Georgie settled for, 'You haven't been yourself the last couple of days. Is that why?'
'Yeah, plus finding out Ace had been through my diary. That was kind of like the last thing I needed.'
'I just can't believe she'd do that. I wonder what other stuff –' Georgie tried to swallow the rest of her sentence. But it was too late. She was only stating the obvious. 'I wonder what other stuff she read.'
'That's what I'm scared of,' Micki replied. 'You know, you and Kia are the first friends I've ever told. This is not something that I'm good at talking about.'
'It's been big deal for Micki, telling you, Georgie,' I added. 'Hasn't it?'
'To be honest, I don't trust Ace,' Micki said to Georgie. 'What if she tells? Everyone will hate me.'
Georgie shrugged. 'Why would people hate you?'
'So, there was nothing else Ace said to you that she could've read in my diary?'
'No, Micki, nothing. I swear,' answered Georgie. 'Ace loves you. You're like her little sister. You know that. Don't you?'
Micki looked at Georgie. She said nothing. She just looked.
'I swear, Micki,' said Georgie. 'Ace wouldn't do anything to hurt you.'
Micki shrugged.
'Kia?' Georgie whispered. 'What are we going to do?'
'It's not like we can confront Ace,' I said. 'Not while we're here at camp.'
'And you definitely know that she read it? I mean, in case Ace tries to deny it.'
'Micki's got proof.'
'Yeah?'
'At Kia's place, I hid it in my sleeping bag,' Micki said. 'I sort of noticed it'd moved around a bit but I wasn't worried or anything. But when I opened my diary the next day, here at camp, I found all these long blonde hairs inside the pages. I just knew.'
'How weird is that?' I said.
Georgie nodded.
'I mean, that's got to be proof, don't you think?' I asked.
Again Georgie nodded. 'I'd say that's proof all right.'
The three of us stayed down at the beach for hours. I had a cry when I told Georgie that Micki knew I'd cut myself again. It was funny saying that 'cause it's not like Georgie and I had even talked about it. There were times that I wanted to talk to Georgie but I didn't know what to say. How do you start that conversation? I'm not like Georgie, who can talk to anyone about anything and know they're actually listening too.
I wanted to say thank you and I wanted to tell her that I wasn't going to hurt myself again. But I wasn't sure that words were enough to make Georgie believe me. Georgie was like my dad, an action man. Maybe one day I'd tell her. But for now I needed to show Georgie that I wasn't that girl anymore.
Georgie blubbered – this time big, loud Georgie snorts – when Micki told her that her mum didn't die from cancer but from a heroin overdose.
I still didn't know what made me feel worse. That in January at camp I'd told Ace and Georgie a story about Micki's mum falling off the balcony when it hadn't even happened. Or the fact that Micki had been awake that night listening to the whole thing.
Micki didn't cry. She said she'd used up thirteen years' worth of tears in less than a week.
Of course, Georgie had no secrets to spill. She never did.
The three of us each had to find a star in the sky. Micki picked one from the saucepan and Georgie's was from the Southern Cross. No matter how many times Dad tried to point out those shapes to me I could never see them. So I picked some random star that was hanging out in the sky on its own, 'cause if I was a star, that'd be me.
'Are you both looking at your star?' Georgie asked us.
'Yeah,' Micki and I answered.
I wished that I'd thought of this. But I wasn't going to let that ruin the moment.
'This isn't a Starfish Sisters thing,' Georgie said. 'It's a pact just between us three. Now all say together, "No more secrets, no more lies."'
'No more secrets. No more lies,' the three of us promised.
*
When Shyan and her big cheesy smile knocked on our door at six am to tell us the surf was cranking and we were going to have a 'girl-against-girl' contest before breakfast, I contemplated saying, 'Shyan, it's still dark outside. Some of us have only had three hours' sleep. Go away.'
But, of course, at the Australian Junior Team Training Camp, that was not an option.
A tiny crest of orange could be seen peering above the horizon. It was almost like the sun was checking that the coast was clear and it was safe to come out. It was safe if you were all the way out there, but here in front of the board shed, Georgie was spreading the aggro before Megan turned up.
'Use it, Micki,' Georgie was preaching. 'Use that anger you feel for Ace out there in the surf.'
'What? Like, pretend the waves are Ace's head?' I butted in.
'I don't think I'd be very good at that.' Micki yawned. 'At least, not this morning. I really didn't want to get out of bed.'
'We're up now.' Georgie was waxing her board like a frenzied maniac. 'That's how I'm dealing with it today. I'm going out there to do serious battle with Megan.'
I thought I'd pop in a friendly reminder. 'You always do anyway.'
'Well, today I'm taking my aggro, compliments of Ace, out on Megan,' Georgie answered. 'If Ace turned up I'd spit on her.'
'I'm not giving back her Kelly Slater hat,' I said. 'I'm not. I made that decision when I was falling asleep. I'll take it as a rental payment 'cause it was in my house that she read Micki's diary.'
'I don't want to turn you girls against Ace,' Micki told us. 'It's my problem. I've got to –'
'No way!' Georgie butted in. 'I'm really mad about this, Micki! What Ace did was really, really low. It was sneaky too. She had no intention of telling me how she knew about you moving in with Kia. You know why?'
'Why?' we asked.
''Cause Ace knew what she did was wrong. Really wrong.' Georgie chucked the last bit of wax into the garbage bin. 'Now the worm will turn, won't it, Micki?'<
br />
'Huh?'
'That's what my mum says,' Georgie answered. 'It means that now the downtrodden can fight back. I mean – I mean –' stammered Georgie, 'I mean, I'm not saying you're downtrodden, Micki. It's just a saying.'
'It's cool, Georgie,' Micki answered. 'I know what you're trying to say.'
Obviously the sun wasn't put off by Georgie's raving. It was now in full glow, hovering over the ocean. It looked so beautiful I forgave Shyan for dragging me out of my cosy bed.
There'd been days the sun could change the way I felt about life. But today, even without the help of the sun, I was feeling pretty good.
The big talk we'd had last night had gone so well. I was proud of myself 'cause it was my idea. I'd sort of been the 'madam chair', the middle person, making sure everything went smoothly.
Micki was totally fine about Georgie knowing her secret. In fact, I'd say she was relieved. One more person Micki didn't have to play the game with. That was the exhausting bit. It could take up every ounce of energy.
According to Jake, this was a quick heart starter before breakfast.
'We're pushing off early 'cause we've got a big day ahead,' he explained. 'First we're having a single girl-against-girl session under regular contest conditions, a twenty-minute heat with your two best waves counted as your score. The two girls with the highest points surf it out in a thirty-minute final. The other two – breakfast duty.'
The leftover southern swell was there to be taken advantage of. The waves were fast and hollow. Georgie was waiting at the start line with her smallest board. That meant she was planning on pulling out every radical move she had. Megan was standing there sneering, still chewing like a cow even though her mouth was empty.
It was critical with Megan that you took the advantage early. The minute the siren went our boards hit the water. Georgie was out for a paddle race against her. No matter how hard I dug my arms through the water I had no way of keeping up with Georgie and Megan. Neither did Micki.
Georgie and Megan had the upper body strength and speed to stroke into big waves. That was their speciality. That's what set them apart and they knew it.
Georgie was first at the take-off zone and on the inside. If I knew her, she was going to use this advantage to frustrate the hell out of Megan.