by Ivy Black
Turning around and looking at everyone who was still left in the Taphouse, I did feel a little better about our numbers. With all of the members there, plus the seven new prospects, we were actually starting to look like a proper club again. Nick had been so opposed to open enrolment, but it seemed to be going okay. The prospects were taking on their tasks with pride and completing them without issue. At first, I was thinking at least half of the prospects would drop or fail out, but so far, they were all proving themselves worthy.
Open enrolment just might be the way to fill ourselves out permanently.
“You outta here, Bullet?” Nick called over when he noticed me standing.
“Yeah. I’m exhausted.”
“Hey, what was ol’ girl up to tonight?” Bucky asked. “That was her, right? The one Nicky set you up with. She slid in and started talkin’ to that guy right in your face.”
“I don’t know what she’s doing lately,” I replied. “One day she won’t even return my calls, next day I could use her incessant texts as morning alarms. She’ll buy me a drink and then turn around and mess with that guy.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I damn sure don’t have the energy to try and figure it out.”
“She asked me about you,” Seth said. “Was wondering why you weren’t giving her the time of day.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“That she fucked up,” he replied simply. “I told her that it was a surprise at all you even went out with her so she could pretty much forget you talking to her ever again.”
He wasn’t wrong, but something about hearing it laid out like that left a sore spot in my stomach. I guessed that was what I was doing, ignoring her to get her to leave me alone, but did I really plan on never talking to her again?
I looked over at Seneca. She was sitting at a table near the back with some of the other prospects, and though she wasn’t looking in my direction, she was quiet, and I could tell she was listening.
“What do you think?” I asked.
Everyone followed my gaze back to her, and then Joey, who was sitting across from her, nudged her and she looked over at me. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
“You want my opinion?” she said. “You realize I’m a woman.” The tone of her voice was thickly sarcastic, and slightly dark.
“I’m aware of that. I’m wondering if you have any idea why she’s acting the way she is?”
Seneca stood up out of her chair. She had a bottle of water in her hand, but it was empty, and she squeezed, crinkling the plastic. She walked through the bar, over to where I was and came to stand very close to me. Avery was sitting at the stool next to where I was, and turned to face her, but he didn’t move or say anything, just watched.
“I’ve heard all about you,” she said. “I’ve been a fan of the Steel Knights for a while, but I never came in here because I’d heard all about the guy who hates women. Hates ’em so bad that he wouldn’t even respect the Vice President.”
Deep in me, my blood started to boil. “Whatever.”
I made as if I was going to walk away, but Seneca stepped to the side, staying in my path. “That’s true, isn’t it? Everyone followed your lead and you fucking ran her out of here.”
“I didn’t run her out of anywhere. She left with a traitor.”
“Interesting version of that story,” she remarked before scanning the bar. “I’ve heard it a few different times from a few different people and the only one who tells it that way is you.”
I looked around at the other members of the club, eventually at Nick who looked down at the ground, and then Avery who turned his attention back to his beer. “So this is all on me?” I said out loud. “Shit going sideways with Tess, that’s all because of me?”
“It’s not,” Bucky said. “We all played our part, it’s just… You know, CJ wasn’t that bad.”
“Yeah, and I truly think if Tess thought she had somewhere to go here, she would have stayed,” Small Fry added.
“Where is all this coming from? None of you ever said this before?”
“What do you want from us?” Avery asked from next to me. He was the only one who ever refused to play into my energy about Tess and always treated her with kindness. “Would you have listened?”
“You want my honest to God opinion about why that chick is acting the way she is?” Seneca said, pulling my attention back to her. “It’s because you deserve it. After all this time of treating women like shit, you should have expected that someone would come along and return the favor. So, don’t be so surprised. This is what karma feels like, Harry.”
With that, Seneca turned around and walked out of the bar, leaving us in complete, intense silence. A total stranger felt that strongly about me, and the entire club was hiding their true feelings from me because of how strongly I’d projected my dislike.
That was never what I wanted.
“Women have never been anything but horrible to me,” I said. “I’m not about to apologize for that.” It wasn’t entirely what I wanted to say, but apart from not wanting to apologize when I didn’t really think I’d done anything wrong, I just felt misunderstood. Avery tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but I pulled myself away. “Don’t.” And with that, I walked out of the bar, glad to see that Seneca was quick in leaving, and carried myself home as well.
I didn’t get a wink of sleep that night.
I’d already been thinking that I made a mistake with Tess since Nick showed me some of her plans, but after Seneca’s accusations, I couldn’t see straight.
Was she right? Was Celia just toying with me to get back at me for the way I’d treated other women?
My alarm going off to coax me out of bed was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. It was early, and it was hard to ignore the sense of actually hoping it was Celia, but when I lifted my phone, it wasn’t her number, but my foster father, Cameron.
I pressed the button to answer the call and then immediately hit the speaker button. “Hello?”
“Hey. Oh, don’t worry. It’s just me, your father. The one who loves you and took care of you when you were sick. Paid for your field trips and packed you lunches. You wouldn’t know that by how little you’ve called me, but don’t worry. I’m okay. It’s me, Cameron. Your father.”
“Are you done?” I replied.
“I mean, I also got you a puppy, but who’s counting?”
“I prefer cats.”
He laughed. “That’s cold, Harry.”
I laughed back at him. “Hey, Dad.”
“Hey. Sorry to call so early, but I was wondering what you were up to today? Wanna come over for breakfast?”
Technically, I had to work, but the club would be fine for one day without me. I could make it up whenever. Nick wasn’t overly stressed about schedules. “Yeah, I could do that. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“Nah. I got all the stuff for omelets yesterday. Bacon and sausage just like you like. You know, because I’m a good dad.”
“You’re sure to win the Oscar, Dad.”
He laughed again, this time louder. “Yeah, yeah. Just get over here. That dog that you would have rather had a cat misses you.”
“All right. I’m on the way.”
“Cool, bye.”
“Bye.”
Already, my mood was lighter. I wouldn’t be the man I was if Cameron hadn’t come along. He’d been my foster dad from the time I was eleven years old and had loved me like I was his own. It was hard at first, treating any man like my dad other than the man who’d raised me, but Cameron told me he was probably looking down on me, happy I was out of my mom’s clutches. He’d want me to have a good parent still.
Thanks to Cameron, I did.
Milton, the Dachshund that Cameron had bought me as a puppy not long after I came to live with him, came ambling up to the door as soon as I walked in. His brown fur was graying all over, and he didn’t move with the same vigor he used to, but at damn near thirteen years old, that he was still alive a
t all was a miracle.
Sure, I preferred cats to dogs, but Milton was a therapy dog and had helped me through many rough nights, so I sat on the floor as he walked up and let him wander into my lap. “Hey, buddy.”
Cameron walked down the hallway from the kitchen and smiled down at me. “He still sleeps in your old room, you know?”
“Are you trying to break my heart?” I asked.
“You could take him. Don’t get me wrong, I love the old guy, but he clearly would rather be with you.”
I scruffed the sides of Milton’s face. “I don’t know how well he’d get along with the cats.”
“He gets on fine with Marty,” Cameron replied, and as if on cue, Cameron’s huge, gray Maine Coon came wandering into the hallway from the living room. He snuggled against me and immediately started to purr, so I held out my arm so he could crawl up as well, though he took up much more space than Milton.
Cameron sputtered out a laugh. “You and animals, I swear.”
“They like me, what can I say?”
“Well, get off the floor before you get too much hair on you and come eat.”
As soon as I moved to get to my feet, both Milton and Marty let out their individual grunts of dissatisfaction, but both followed as I walked down into the kitchen. Looking over at Cameron, I laughed, noticing for the first time that he was wearing a yellow, frilly “kiss the cook” apron, which looked even more hysterical against his dark brown skin and bald head.
“That’s a unique look,” I said as I dropped down into a chair at the kitchen table.
“Yeah,” he laughed awkwardly. “It was a gift.”
He used a spatula to move an omelet onto a plate from one of the pans at the oven and then he brought it over and set it down in front of me. On top of being an amazing father, Cameron was an out-of-this-world cook. He never went into the field professionally, which was a shame, because it was obviously his calling. He grabbed some orange juice and milk from the fridge and set them down in front of me with a glass and then returned to the stove to finish off his own omelet.
“Who gave you that as a gift?” I asked, settling into my food, the hot spices and juicy meat easing my stress from the night before.
“Uh… We’ll get to that, but first, why do you look so tired?”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that he noticed. “I didn’t sleep well last night. Rather, I didn’t sleep at all.”
“How come?” He finished his omelet and moved it over to a plate, then came and joined me at the table. “Work?”
“Kinda.” I looked up at him. “You know how you always told me the way I felt about my mom was justified?”
That took him back a bit. He looked up at me, worried. “Yes?”
“And that judge and cop. You always said it was understandable the way I felt about them, too.”
“It was. They favored your mother when they shouldn’t have, and it could have spared you a lot of pain.”
“Is it fair that I distrust women?” I asked finally.
“Fair is an interesting word to use,” he replied. “I understand why you distrust women. I think anyone would, given everything you went through, but I don’t know that I would consider it fair.”
“How come?”
“Well, because not all women are like your mother, or even that judge or cop who looked the other way when you were being abused or when your father died.” He cleared his throat. “There are some really good women out there.”
People like Celia and Seneca came to mind. “I may have recently learned that total strangers hate me because of my reputation, and even a bunch of guys at the club don’t agree with my philosophy.”
“Well, most people love their mothers. Or they have sisters, girlfriends, even wives that they love and believe in. It’s like I said, there are really good women out there. You just got dealt a really bad hand. You’ve struggled to trust women and I couldn’t blame you, but I did try and snap you out of it. There were a lot of women who did care about you. You had teachers that were worried about you, and my mother loves you like her own grandson.”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“It’s not as if you just pulled this stuff out of thin air though, Harry. If you’re feeling bad about it now, that’s good, but don’t expect it to all go away in one day. Just work with it, you know? Think about it this way; you have a sibling out there somewhere, right?”
“That’s what I’m told.”
Cameron pointed his fork at me. “What if it’s a sister? Would you be okay knowing someone was out there treating her how you’ve treated some women in the past?”
My birth father was a man who honored women above everything. Even for all the abuse he endured from my mom, he never once put his hands on her. I made sure I was never abusive toward women, because I knew how disappointed he’d be if he were still alive. But there were times I went out of my way to spite Tess. I even approached Colin when he first arrived and told him not to trust her, too.
“No,” I said finally. “I wouldn’t be okay with that.”
“So keep that in mind. Treat women how you’d want her to be treated,” Cameron said.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Thanks.”
“By the way, I spoke to the detective yesterday, but still no new news. Do you want to keep him on retainer? It’s sucking your settlement dry.”
“Yep,” I responded immediately. “I want him to keep looking until he finds my mom and we can save my little brother or sister.”
“You got it. I’ll send over the next wave of payments then.”
As far as silver linings were concerned, mine came in the form of an accident I’d been in about six years ago. For all the injuries I’d suffered, the settlement I got from the accident was large enough to support the hunt I’d been on for about seven years after learning my mom had another kid after I was finally removed from her care. Knowing my mother, that child was abused as I was, and I wouldn’t stop until I found them so I could save that poor kid from my fate, or worse, my father’s.
“Thank you, and thanks for this talk, too. It helped.”
“Actually, uh,” he snickered uncomfortably again. “It’s kind of interestingly timed.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, there’s a reason I called you over. I mean, I wanted to see you, too, don’t get me wrong, but I had to discuss something with you.” He pulled out his phone, flicked through it a little bit, and then passed it over to me. On the screen was a picture of a woman with rosy peach skin, short black hair, and a bright smile. “That’s Marisha.”
“Okay?” I said. “You’re trying to set me up on a date?”
His nose wrinkled up violently. “No! I’m… I’m dating her. Well, more than that. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh…” I said. “Wow.”
“Yeah. I deliberately didn’t date when you were growing up, for the aforementioned female-trust issues, but I met her at a gas station of all places. I’d just bought my new car and didn’t know where the stupid gas button was. She saw me struggling and came over. All I had to do was push it, so I felt pretty dumb, but I got to meet her, so it all worked out.”
My brow furrowed at the story. “Your new car? You bought your new car like a year ago.” His gaze drifted downward and my shoulders slunk a little bit. “Oh.”
“Yeah. She’s so amazing. Really, Harry. I know you have your hang-ups or whatever, but I really do think you’d like her. She’s been talking about moving in together and I…” He sighed and then reached into the pocket of his apron and pulled out a little black box and set it on the table. “I’m madly in love with her, bud. Like the kind that’s in movies. I want to propose, but I don’t want to do that without you meeting her. I’d love it if you approved of it. She’ll be your new mom, kind of.”
I was quiet for a really long time. All the words fluttered around my brain and I wasn’t sure which ones terrified me more. “Meeting her”, “Approved”, “New Mom”. They were all scary.
But Cameron had done so much for me and had given up a lot. I owed it to him to give it a shot. “Okay,” I told him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet her. There’s a lot going on at the club right now, we just got a bunch of new prospects, but as soon as new officers are in place and stuff, things should calm down. Can we do it then?”
He nodded. “Of course!” A wide grin crossed his face as he took his phone back and looked down at the picture. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter Six
Bullet
It was annoying the way all conversation ground to a halt as soon as I walked into the warehouse for my meeting at Hoppa’s the next day. The sparse remaining officers were situated around the table and all zipped their lips as soon as they saw me. All that could be heard was the echo of my steps as I walked over to the table and sat down, and when I sat, Avery leaned over toward me.
“Hey, man, you okay? That was a rough show the other night.”
“I’m fine,” I replied. “Seneca…” I let what Cameron and I had talked about and the idea that my missing younger sibling was a little girl weigh heavy in my mind. “She was right to respond the way she did toward me. I wasn’t fair to Tess.”
“What?” Bucky barked. “Did you just… agree with her?”
“Yeah,” I snapped, “got a problem with it?”
“No.” Bucky looked over at Nick who shrugged and looked toward the rest of us.
“Well, thanks for coming, guys. I know you’ve been waiting for me to make some decisions about how things are going to go around here, and with the new prospects looking good so far, I think I’m ready to let you know exactly what I’ve been planning on.” He reached under the table and pulled out a long piece of legal paper, which he laid out on the table and appeared to have a hierarchy tree, similar to the one that Tess had created in her book.
“Whoa,” Avery said. “There’s a ton of open spaces. Are we really that short?”
“Well...” Nick looked across at me. “This is an expanded plan. I don’t just want to fill our empty spots, I want to start expanding. We’re growing and I want to meet that growth head-on. This new plan will give us ten officers, plus two new titles, Friendly, and Regular. These titles will be applied to people who are associated with us and Hoppa’s Taphouse, but don’t have any pull in the club.”