by V J Lee
“Yeah, I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that. Please tell me that if you had sex with anyone else, they were human.” He wondered how he could ever compete with the likes of Cosmo, and began to pray no one else had found their way onto Rissa’s roster.
She lay silently, staring at the ceiling. He began to panic, thinking she might be counting all the men she had been with. He settled back down next to her, concerned that she might not give him an answer at all. A few long minutes had passed, before she said, “Remember when I went to that training last month?”
“Yeah, the one on hand-to-hand combat.”
“That’s the one. Well, Dakota was teaching the class.”
“Yeah, and he’s with Ashley.”
“About that … they had just broken up. He was a mess. I was a mess.”
“Please don’t tell me … you and Dakota? He may be human, but I’d be fearful of losing you to a man like him. He’s built like a brick house, has a shit ton of money, and is a genuinely nice guy.”
“We went out for a few drinks to drown our sorrows, and one thing led to another … then another the next day … and another the next day, and a few more in between.” Rissa’s face was bright crimson.
“For crying out loud, you were only there for three days.”
“We went out to lunch every day, but never really had lunch, you know what I mean?” Trevor covered her mouth.
“I can’t hear anymore. Do I even want to know if there was anyone else?”
“That was it. How many times did you bang Petra?” she asked.
“You sure you want to know?”
“Well, if you’re down for emotional self-mutilation, I might as well throw myself on the grenade, too,” Rissa told him.
“Yeah, well, the pain is staggering. I think we only had sex like four times, then two blow jobs, which cost me twenty thousand each.”
Riss turned toward him. “What? No wonder you went back to her. If a blow job is worth twenty thousand dollars, you should definitely be with her.”
Trevor tweaked her nose. “Very funny. I’m feeling very incompetent compared to the men you were with. It’s upsetting that I feel like I can never pleasure you the way they did.”
Leaning up on her elbow so she could look down upon his face, Rissa explained. “I learned something being with them. I realized that there’s a certain thing I need to have with the next person I sleep with, or I can’t be with them.”
“Um … I’m not sure I want to hear this.”
Rissa continued. “I want someone I love, and who loves me. I learned that when you give your body to someone, the pleasure with them is fleeting. When the sex is over, the feeling is gone. But when you are with someone you love, and the feeling is mutual, the pleasure stays with you. I learned that I don’t want someone who just wants me for sex. I want someone who will love me forever.”
Trevor pulled her back onto his chest and kissed her head. Before he could tell her that he loved her, he heard the little snores that signaled she had fallen asleep. He kissed her again. He didn’t sleep, but laid with her for a couple of hours, before he decided to get going. As he unwrapped his arms and moved her over to her side, she started murmuring in her sleep. He knew he should have left right then, but instead, he leaned closer, listening intently for anything audible, hoping he might catch a glimpse into her psyche.
“N-No, don’t go … if you loved me, you would stay, stay with me. I love you. I need you. I need Jacob.” In her sleep, she began to cry. Her body trembled.
Trevor slid back into bed with her, spooning her from behind, and whispered in her ear, “I will never leave you again.” She let out a final sob, then inhaled deeply and settled into him. Vulnerable, exposed and honest, Rissa had unconsciously unearthed the version of herself who Trevor had longed to discover. He finally heard the words he needed to hear.
All the time they were apart, she had insisted she was content with loneliness, if it meant that Trevor could find happiness with Jacob’s mother, never revealing how terribly it hurt her. At this moment, this heartbreaking glimpse of how deeply she needed him, Trevor vowed to forever place her happiness above his own, to take care of her the way she cared for him, and to be the man she deserved to love.
Chapter 12
Rissa had no idea why her eyes felt swollen, but it had been happening a lot lately. Turning on her side, she inhaled deeply, smelling the pillow Trevor had slept on last night, taking in his manly scent all the way past her lungs and right to her heart. She smiled, as the organ in her chest beat a happy tune.
She wanted to feel bad about what happened between them physically. It wasn’t right that Petra didn’t know yet. However, she just couldn’t bring herself to care about the other woman, or her feelings right now. She was happy—an emotion she hadn’t felt in some time. Interestingly, when she had been without Trevor, she knew down to the second how long they’d been apart. Now that she was with him again, she couldn’t remember.
Rissa got up and groggily shuffled to the dresser where her phone was charging. A message from Trevor was waiting for her.
Good morning, love. I hope you slept well. I so enjoyed watching you sleep in my arms again. I’m leaving to talk to Petra. By the time you read this, it will be over between me and her. Will you come in early today, so I can take you out to dinner to celebrate? That is, if you still want me.
Love you most, Trev.
Rissa couldn’t have grinned wider if she had slept with a hanger in her mouth. Smiling from ear to ear, she decided to get in some kitchen time, before showering and then baking Oreo cheesecake cupcakes. The thought of baking and seeing Trevor, put a spring in her step.
At four o’clock, sharp, Rissa strolled through the side door of the Agency, which was the daycare entrance Trevor convinced Jock to put in for the agents with children. She needed to stop by and give Lizzy a cupcake and hear about her date with Dave.
Rissa punched in her code on the keypad by the door that would show her on a monitor to the employees inside. The doors couldn’t be opened from the outside for security reasons, naturally, except by emergency personnel. After a few seconds, Lizzy came to the door. Her straight brown hair had been twisted into a chic French twist of some sort. She wore black, comfortable looking slacks, sensible black flats, and a purple button-up blouse.
Lizzy smiled, full red lips revealing straight, white teeth. Her dark brown eyes lit up at the sight of Rissa, or maybe it was because of the mammoth-sized cupcake Rissa held out to her.
“I come bearing gifts,” Rissa said.
“Is that what I think it is? Your famous Oreo cheesecake cupcake?” She clapped her hands enthusiastically. “You only bake these when you’re in a good mood, when things are sunshine and roses!” She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.
“Let’s just say things are getting better. But enough about me. What about your date with Dave?”
Her face twisted up in a grimace. “All night long, he talked about himself—his career, his car, his clothes, his house … how big his wiener is.”
“No, he did not!”
Lizzy put her hand to the sky. “Hand to God, he did.” Then she stopped, lowering her head, and quietly said, “I know you’re not supposed to see him, but Jacob is in there. We’re the only two left here. I think he would love a homemade cupcake. Hell, he’d probably like anything homemade.”
Her heart told her to go see him, but Rissa didn’t want to cause any trouble for Trevor. Shit was going to hit the fan, as it was. She pulled out another cupcake from the container, handing it off to Lizzy with a bag. “I’d better not see him, but here’s a cupcake. Would you give this to him for his birthday, from me, please?”
“He talks about you all the time. He misses you. Do you want me to wait for the party to give it to him?”
“Nah, give it to him on Friday, if you could. How was Petra when she dropped him off this morning?”
Lizzy’s cheeks went pink. “She didn’t bring
him in, Steve did.”
When Rissa just looked at her, she added, “We talked for like twenty minutes. I had no idea he even knew my name, let alone, I was a woman.”
“You know, before you decided to take over the daycare, you were one of the best agents we had. How could he not know you? So, you got a thing for him now, do you?”
Shrugging one shoulder, she said, “Maybe. He seems kind of arrogant at times.”
“I think he just needs the right woman, and I know for a fact, he’s looking for her.”
Rissa left Lizzy to ponder that for a bit. She wanted to see Jacob, but knew it was best that she didn’t cause any problems.
Running up the stairs to the office area, Rissa was surprised to see so many people there. All the day crew was still there, as well as most of the night crew, and when the Washington brothers finally walked in, that made everyone. Jock wasn’t around, so she didn’t think he had called a meeting, but she checked her phone anyway.
Trevor saw her and started heading her way, but halted when Petra walked in, standing on the top stair, towering over everyone. All eyes turned to Petra, in her cream blouse with gold buttons and a beige skirt that fit her like a glove. With Louis Vuitton shoes and sleek black hair, she was certainly an impressive woman. Seriously, if she weren’t such a mega-bitch, Rissa wouldn’t wonder why Trevor picked her.
Rissa looked over to see Trevor swallowed up by the rest of the staff. She popped the lid off the cupcakes and set them on her desk. Steve was the first to pounce on the treats, eyes focused on the prize.
“These are my favorites. What did you bring for everyone else?” he asked, picking one off the top and taking a huge bite. “You know you could marry me. Forget Trevor.”
“Wow! A proposal around a mouth full of chocolate and cream cheese … how can I refuse?”
Still, with a mouthful of cake, he said, “And Oreos. Don’t forget the Oreos.”
“Right, and a mouthful of Oreos. Now I have no choice, but to accept.”
He puffed out his chest and turned to watch what Petra was up to. “So, why did she call this meeting? Did she find out about the missing women?”
Rissa looked up at him. “I had no idea that’s why everyone was here.”
He gave her an apologetic look.
“If I can have everyone’s attention, please,” Petra yelled over everyone. “Thank you. I see you all got my text about this meeting.” She looked straight at Rissa, and said, “Looks like even some who weren’t invited showed up, too. No worries, it doesn’t matter.” She looked around the room, until she met Trevor’s gaze, before she started up again.
“As you know, Trevor and I were to be married in the next few months. I wanted to let you all know that’s not going to be happening now.”
Petra paused for effect. Rissa looked at Trevor, wondering if Petra was going to make a scene, but his handsome face looked just as confused as hers. Some were looking at Rissa, others at Trevor, then back to Petra.
“As you all know, I was out of town for a few days. I had an appointment with my doctor, the one I saw when I was pregnant with Jacob.” She then smiled from ear to ear and locked her gaze with Rissa. “Trevor and I are thrilled to announce that we are having another baby. We’ll be moving up the wedding as soon as possible, because I simply refuse to walk down the aisle as big as a whale.”
Rissa grabbed two cupcakes and turned to leave. Steve gave her a look that said “fuck,” and squeezed her shoulder, before he pushed his way through the throng of co-workers to get to his friend. When Trevor finally looked over at her, she raised a cupcake to him like a toast, then turned and walked out.
Rissa almost ran right into Jock. “So, what did I miss? From the look on your face, it was something devastating.”
“No, not at all. Petra just announced to the whole Agency that she’s pregnant, so she and Trevor need to move up the date of their wedding, because you know she wouldn’t want to be a whale waddling down the aisle.”
“Fuck me,” Jock cursed.
“What does it matter? They were going to get married anyway.”
“He told me today about the two of you … that you guys were working on getting back together.”
“Yeah, well, shit happens. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to eat my cupcakes and go shoot my gun.”
Jock grabbed her in a bear hug, neither of them saying a word. She let him comfort her, while she tried to keep her cupcakes from smashing into his ass. Rissa felt a sob leave her, and knew it was time for some target practice.
* * *
The shooting range was on the lowest level of the building, located underground. It was accessible by elevator only, which was unfortunate, because Rissa would have loved to take six flights down on foot to burn some rage.
How could she have thought things would work out between Trevor and her? It couldn’t, as long as Petra was still in the picture. Damn, she was a fool.
Rissa smiled as she entered the shooting range, donning her safety glasses and ear protection. She smiled as she imagined taking Petra out of the picture—painfully, with a bullet or two—but then a blade of guilt stabbed at her. She was, after all, Jacob’s mother, loving him like only a mother could. Not to mention, Jacob loved her. Even if she was a Grade-A bitch.
Rissa had her Agency-issued Glock 23 and five clips containing fifteen rounds each, alongside her .380 Browning with five more clips, containing six rounds each. She was alone at the shooting range, so she let loose with the bullets and the profanities.
Rissa had no idea how long she had been shooting, but she only had a single clip left. When she went to grab it, it wasn’t there. Turning to see if it fell on the floor, she came face-to-face with Trevor. How the hell did she not know he was there? Her senses needed adjusting.
He held the clip in his hand, looking her in the eye, as he said, “We need to talk.”
She grunted, saying, “I think Petra said enough. I should have known it was too good to be true.”
Trevor put the clip down, then grabbed her by both shoulders. “I never got a chance to tell her about us. Petra didn’t come home. She came straight to the office.”
Wrenching herself out of his grasp and stepping away from him, she pulled off her glasses and ear protection and set them on the table. “Well, I guess Jacob will be ecstatic about having a brother or sister.”
Trevor stepped forward, then stopped. “Listen, Rissa. Nothing has changed.”
“Are you kidding me? Everything has changed, or should I say nothing has changed ….”
“I just told her that we are canceling the wedding and that I’m done. I’ll be a dad to both children. I want joint custody. I will ensure that she and the kids are taken care of financially. I also told her that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Not to mention that I want a paternity test on this one.”
Rissa was utterly speechless.
* * *
Trevor was aware that he was holding his breath, as he waited for Rissa to say something. Every muscle was tight. His brain was running a mile a minute. He could not fucking believe Petra pulled that last stunt. Another baby with her … of course he would love the baby, but he couldn’t bring himself to love her any longer.
“Why do you want a paternity test with this one, and not Jacob?” she asked, curiosity burning in her eyes.
“I feel in my bones that Jacob is not my son, but in my heart, he is. This baby, I will still take care of, but if this one isn’t mine, I need to put a stop to her hold over me.”
She snorted—and he thought even that was sexy as hell—then said, “Well, then stop fucking her, and she won’t be able to tell you she’s pregnant.”
“Listen, I never ….” God, he didn’t know how to say this. He just took a deep breath and let it go. “I never came inside her. As a matter of fact, the only time I could even have an orgasm with her, was if I was thinking of you.”
Holding up her hand, she said, “Way too much information. You�
��re old enough to know about a little something called ‘pre-cum,’ right?”
“That is not what I’m here to discuss. I want … no I need you to understand that I’m finished with Petra. I went into the office immediately after her little ‘announcement’ and told her we’re through, that there will be no wedding. She told me to get out of the office and never come back. When I left, after shutting the door behind me, I heard her crying. So, I went back in to see if she was okay.”
“Let me guess, you accidentally fell into her again? And now she is going to have another baby three months after the first?” She was angry, and he knew she had every right to be.
“No, she said she understood ….”
“But?” The deep, gruff voice of Jock interrupted him. “With that woman, there is always an ultimatum. So, let’s have it.”
Trevor turned to the other man. “This is between Rissa and me. Please, let us have a moment in private.”
Jock’s eyes shot to Rissa. “He can stay,” she said.
Turning back to her, Trevor sighed, but finished. “She understood, but she would like me to stay until after Jacob’s birthday party. It will upset and confuse him if I’m not around for it. I had to agree. It’s only four days, and I can use the time to find a place to stay. Unless?” He let the question hang in the air.
Putting her hand up and shaking her head, Rissa replied, “No way in hell are you moving in with me.”
“Well, I had to try.”
Putting her head back and inhaling deeply, she formed a reasonable thought despite the emotions clouding her vision. “You’re both right. It would not be fair to Jacob to upset his world. If you’re serious about us, then I will fight for us this time around.” He took a step toward her, but when she backed away from him, he stopped. “I will give you these four days, but we are not a thing,” she said, using air quotes over the word “thing.” “During these four days, you can do whatever you want, with whomever you want. You can be a single man, and I will be a single woman. Then, we will talk after the party.”