by Prakash Iyer
Quickly changing course, he headed towards the two sailors in distress. With considerable difficulty, he managed to rescue Joseph first and bring him on to his own boat, which itself seemed close to capsizing. He then rescued an injured and bleeding Siew, dragging him against the force of strong currents. With the two men on his boat, relatively safe, he waited for the rescue patrol, which soon came and took the two injured men away for medical attention.
Lemieux wasn’t finished though. Not yet. He decided to get back to his race. But he had lost too much time in saving two lives. From his earlier second position, he had now slipped to number twenty-second in a field of thirty-two competitors. Lemieux’s dream of an Olympic medal was over, but at the medal ceremony, Juan Samaranch, president of the International Olympic Committee, presented Lemieux the Pierre de Coubertin medal or the True Medal of Sportsmanship and said, ‘By your sportsmanship, self-sacrifice and courage, you embody all that is right with the Olympic ideal.’
In our lives, we often find ourselves in situations like the one that Lawrence Lemieux faced. Our sailboats are different, the winds vary, the cries for help sound different but the challenge is the same—a conflict of personal goals versus the larger good. Can we tell what’s really important? Will we willingly sacrifice personal glory for larger goals? Can we tell what really matters from what seems to matter?
It is often said that the road to the top in the corporate world is littered with corpses. Friends, colleagues and associates are quite nonchalantly sacrificed at the altar of personal glory. What is it worth? What would you rather be remembered for—getting a promotion ahead of a colleague, amassing a fatter bank balance, winning the top job? Or for making a difference to someone else’s life?
Gaining market share or clinching a major deal may get you into the corner office faster but when, in your twilight years, you sit on your rocking chair and think back … What would you like to be remembered for? What do you think you will be remembered for?
Lemieux, now long retired, is a successful and much-sought-after coach. People from all walks of life want to hear his story. To remind themselves of a basic lesson in life, to be reminded about what being a winner is all about. ‘Good thing I didn’t win a medal,’ he says. ‘If I had, I would’ve been all but forgotten by now!’
Many, many people have won Olympic medals—an outstanding achievement undoubtedly. But few, very few, have achieved what Lemieux has.
Perhaps we need to redefine true success for ourselves. What is our gold medal? How do we react when we see our own sailors-in-distress? The question is not what you would do if you were in Lemieux’s place—the question is what have you done when you have so often been in that place?
Medals don’t matter. Mettle does!
Will you sacrifice personal glory for larger, selfless goals? Can you tell what really matters from what seems to matter? What would you rather be remembered for? Getting a promotion ahead of a colleague? Or making a difference to someone else’s life?
Work–life Balance and the Waugh Brothers
It was the stuff parental dreams are made of. To have your child play for the country would be a dream come true for most. And to have both your sons—twins at that—play for your country? Well, that would be really special!
And so it was with Mrs and Mr Waugh in Australia. As their twin sons—Steve and Mark—plundered runs and made waves in Australian first-class cricket, the great parental dream began building up. They longed for the day when both their sons would play for Australia.
Steve made his debut first. There was joy in the Waugh home, and the desire to see Mark join him only grew stronger. The parents looked forward to the day when Mark too would get picked. And then it happened. Coming home after nets one day, Steve announced to his parents that Mark had been picked for the upcoming Ashes Test. The Waughs were delighted. ‘Let’s party tonight,’ said the mother. After all, this was a special event, worthy of celebration! How many mothers have seen both sons play together in the national team?
The Waugh backyard was the venue for the bash. Pride and bonhomie combined with food and wine to create the perfect evening. As the proud mother refilled glasses of wine, she casually asked Steve: ‘So who did the selectors drop to make way for Mark?’
With the calm that was to become legendary in later years, Steve replied: ‘Me!’
Phew! Life’s like that. Good news often comes mixed with the bad. You win some. You lose some. You get a gift-wrapped goodie. For a price.
I recall the words of K.V. Kamath, then the head honcho of ICICI Bank, as he addressed a gathering of industry leaders in Mumbai. In a panel discussion along with two professors from Harvard Business School, Mr Kamath poo-poohed the idea of work–life balance. He said it was a nice ideal, but not something he’d recommend to a young high-performance manager.
You need to focus on work, he said. Slog, make an impact, sweat it out, work harder to meet business goals … and life will take care of itself. And then, hopefully you will find the magical work–life balance. But trying to find that balance very early in your life could mean that you miss out on both fronts. Loser at work, not much joy in life either.
Something we would all do well to remember. To get something, you’ve got to give up something. That’s how it will be in the beginning. After a while, if you are lucky, you will find the balance you are looking for.
Want to lose weight? You can, but you will need to say NO to your favourite sweets. Once you sacrifice the sweets and get your weight under control, you can indulge your sweet tooth. Weight loss and gajar ka halwa can co-exist!
Want to climb the corporate ladder? Slog. Work long hours. Forget weekends. As success sets in, you can start to discover fancy holiday spots. And the golf course. And your daughter’s dance debut. And weekends too. But insisting on having both, right at the beginning, would almost certainly mean getting neither.
As the Waugh brothers have shown, Mr Kamath is probably right. After that famous debut game where Steve made way for Mark, the brothers went on to play for several years for Australia. Winning games, laurels and a couple of World Cups too.
The Waugh dream did come true. But imagine if the parents had insisted on both brothers making their debut at the same time, in the same game, it may have never happened. Without realizing, we often do that. We want that promotion AND we want to leave the office at 5.30 p.m. We want to lose weight AND we want that second helping of dessert. It just doesn’t work that way. Not in cricket. Not in life.
Whatever your goals, go forth and work to make them come true. And remember Mr Kamath’s words. You must be ready to pay the price!
Win some. Lose some. To get something, you’ve got to give up something.
XI
TAKE ACTION
Begin. And End.
Nothing Else Matters
Sometimes a simple little snippet can point to larger life lessons. Sample this:
‘Aoccrdnig to a rseearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are. The olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.’
The road to success in life too is quite similar. Getting started is key. And learning to finish tasks is priceless. The rest is, well, commentary.
I like the old saying that you don’t have to be great to get started but you have to get started to be great. You can have the most fabulous ideas, some great plans, and the intent may never be in doubt. But all that is worth nothing if you don’t get started. We often hesitate to get started, waiting for everything to be in place. But remember that everything seldom falls into place!
Unfinished tasks are the biggest contributors to stress in the workplace. Learn to finish tasks. Get them out of the way. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly at first. Successful people make it a habit to finish wha
t they have started.
So if you have a big idea or a secret dream, take that first step. Today! Want to become a best-selling author? Write the first chapter. Today! And take a look at your unfinished tasks, your to-do list. Resolve to complete at least one of those tasks. Today!
Do that and see the difference. Life will begin to make a lot more sense.
Two keys to success—get started, and learn to finish. The rest is, well, commentary.
Of Wake-up Calls and Snooze Buttons …
The loudest noise today is the ringing of the wake-up call. When you hear of a young friend who’s had a heart attack, you know it’s a wake-up call for you to start that jog, to get on to the treadmill and to get back into fitness mode.
When you hear of the crash of the biggies on Wall Street, you know it’s a wake-up call for Indian banking majors who’ve been busy spamming mobile phones with ‘please may I offer you a no-questions-asked loan’ calls.
When you hear of smells-like-Enron controversies, you know it’s a wake-up call for company boards and CEOs to take corporate governance seriously.
When you read about how the distance between an argument and the divorce court is getting shorter in metros, you know it’s a wake-up call to pay more attention to your relationships, to work on making your marriage work.
And when you hear about the New York i-banker (he of that fancy fat bonus last year) suddenly going into depression following a pink slip, you know it’s a wake-up call to get your priorities right and find balance in your life’s goals.
But hey, wait a minute! What do we do when we hear these wake-up calls? Our typical response to all these signals is something like this: We talk about it animatedly with our friends. (Oh yes, these make for excellent bar conversation!) We then resolve we must do something about it immediately. Soon. Tomorrow. And, of course, tomorrow never comes.
Yet, despite the constant blaring of all these wake-up calls, why is it that most of us don’t really do anything about them? Two reasons, I suspect.
First, a false sense of invincibility, the ‘it-can’t-happen-to-me’ syndrome. We always think it only happens to others. The heart attack. The bankruptcy. The pink slip. The broken marriage. We don’t realize that ‘they’ too are people like us. Or were, at least.
Second, what I like to call the ‘hit-the-snooze-button’ syndrome. The temptation to put off action until a bit later. And then a little later.
The exercise regimen you promised yourself doesn’t quite get started. The day you hear about your friend’s heart attack, you say you will start the next day. That doesn’t happen. You then promise yourself you’ll do it after the Diwali binges. Then, after you come back from that business trip. Then from the first of January, promise! It never, never happens. Until it’s too late!
CEOs and company boards are like that too. Must set it right next quarter, they say. Not this one, the next. One good quarter, and we’ll take care of it. Next financial year … And then, a Satyam happens. The truth is, we’ve all got used to the wonderful snooze button on our alarm calls. To get up at 6.30 a.m., we set the alarm for 6 a.m. We wake up, stretch hand, reach alarm, hit snooze …6.10 a.m. We wake up, hit snooze … 6.20 a.m. Ditto 6.30 a.m. Finally wake up. Research shows that those thirty minutes are a complete waste. You don’t really sleep in those three ten-minute intervals. And you don’t put that time to productive use either. All that the snooze button does is to give us a feeling that it can wait. And we start thinking that everything can wait. Our minds develop their own versions of the snooze button.
So what happens is that every time we hear a wake-up call, we reach out for the snooze button, which isn’t really there. But it’s taken permanent residence in our minds.
Do yourself a favour. Cut off the snooze button. From your cellphone, your alarm clock, your mind, your life. Get up when the alarm rings. Don’t hit snooze. When you hear a wake-up call, wake up. Make it a habit.
You’ll find many benefits of this one change in your behaviour. You will sleep well. You will create more time for yourself every morning. And most importantly, when those critical wake-up calls come along in your life, you’ll take action.
You’ll wake up. Before it’s too late.
Forget the snooze button. When you hear a wake-up call, wake up!
The Second-best Time to Do Anything
Do you often look back and wish you had done things differently? Do you, for instance, wish you had cultivated the reading habit as a child so you’d be a better-read person today? Wish you had played a sport and stayed with it beyond college so you’d be a fitter person today? Wish you had gone easy on sweets so you wouldn’t be an obese diabetic today? Wish you had told your parents and spouse and kids how very much you loved them?
Or are you the kind of person who constantly sees change in the future tense? ‘I will give up sweets—after Diwali’. Or ‘I will spend more time with the family—once we wrap up the annual business plans.’ Or ‘I will quit and do what I have always wanted to—after I have that magic number in my bank account.’
You will do well to remember the wisdom contained in an old Chinese proverb: ‘The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now!’ It’s up to us to make the most of now!
Business gurus and spiritual leaders have all talked about the power of now. The power of living in the present versus the futility of living in a past that’s gone or dreaming of an imaginary future.
Often, our excuse for not acting is either that the best time has passed or is still to come. And our quest for the ‘right time’ helps mask our lethargy, and fuels our tendency to procrastinate. Success comes to those who live in the present, who seize the moment. What’s gone is gone, no point living in regret. And the future? Well, as the saying goes, tomorrow never comes. So whatever it is that you wish to do, do it today. Do it now. Make use of the second-best time. Remember, it’s never too late to become what you might have been.
Want to learn a new skill? Start lessons today. Want to lose weight? Start exercises today. Want to have better relationships? Reach out and hug your loved ones today. Whatever it is you want, make a beginning. Today.
Today is the tomorrow you thought of yesterday. This might sound somewhat philosophical but it’s for real! When you start living in the present, that’s when you unleash the power that’s within you. And sure enough, twenty years from today, you’ll be glad you planted that tree!
Here then is a question for you. If you knew today that you had only six months to live, what would you do? Come on, think. What would you do in the last six months of your life?
Spend more time with the family? Watch Manchester United take on Chelsea with your son? Listen to your daughter talk about the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother? Take a leisurely walk with your wife, hands firmly clasped, wind blowing her hair across her face, just like on your first date? Set off on a holiday with the family perhaps? To the hills or beaches, wildlife sanctuaries or great monuments. So much to see, so much to do. And so little time.
And you would perhaps spend a day with your mother? Reliving memories of the days gone by. Your first day at school. How she made your favourite bhindi sabzi—and made you believe that bhindi sharpens your mathematical skills! And how worried she was when you came home with a swollen nose when a cricket ball smacked you in the face. You slept that night; she didn’t.
Six months to go. What would you do differently?
Would you get up early every morning and read those ten books you’ve always wanted to but never quite found the time for? Or would you finally get down to writing the book that’s been brewing inside you, waiting to be written?
Perhaps you’d want to catch up with friends. School-mates you grew up with—but grew away from. Old neighbours, who huddled up with you to watch Chhayageet on Wednesday nights and cheered with you as you watched Sunil Gavaskar—in black and white—hammer Arthur Barrett in a memorable 86-run knock at Wankhede Stadium.
And you�
��d perhaps want to write letters and send e-mails. To thank people for what they’ve meant to you. Or say sorry to people you may have hurt, unintentionally. Amazing how an apology can lift a huge burden off your chest. You always knew it, but never got around to it.
What else would you do if you knew you had only six months to go?
Perhaps audition with a TV channel to anchor a show? After all, you’ve spent several evenings convinced that you could do a better job than the lady on air. And you’d gladly swap your cushy corporate job for a day as a commentator in India’s T20 game.
And you’d perhaps want to spend an entire day with your children, quickly sharing with them the lessons you’ve learnt in your life. All about what they don’t teach you at Harvard or IIMA.
And you’d want to spend a day with your wife, watching the mushy English film she’s been wanting to watch (and you’ve been avoiding for some twenty years); eating the pasta she’s been longing for (and you’ve been avoiding for twenty years) and finally reassuring her with those three magical words she’s been wanting to hear just one more time (but you haven’t bothered to say them for twenty years).
With six months to go, what would you do? Remember, no man on his deathbed ever said ‘I wish I’d spent more time in the office.’
Whatever your answers, here’s the real lesson. Whatever it is that you want to do in the last six months of your life, do it now. Today. Because truth is, you never get to know when you have only six months to go. So live every day, as if it were the start of your ‘last six months’.
Take that holiday. Watch that game with your son. Listen to your daughter’s stories. Take that walk with your wife. Spend that day with your mom. Read. Travel. Play. Enjoy. Live!
Whatever you fancy, do it now. Don’t wait for those last six months, because you will never know when the countdown begins. Live every day to the fullest. So what would you do if you had only six months to live? Whatever your answer, just remember one thing. Your time starts now.