by Jan Drexler
Elizabeth laughed at the image Millie’s words portrayed. “Don’t be silly. I was just thinking of something, that’s all.”
“I saw you talking to that new man.” Millie rocked the fussing baby back and forth. “Where is he from? What is he doing here?”
“Girls, we don’t want to gossip,” Mamm said, slicing another loaf of bread.
“He was very open about his business as he spoke with the men,” Elizabeth said. “He has bought Abel Patterson’s farm and intends to settle here.”
“And his family?” Ruby asked.
“There is no family. He’s a widower.”
“That is interesting,” Millie said, grinning. “A widower in the community. I’m sure he’ll be looking for a new wife.”
“He can look all he wants,” Elizabeth said, reaching for Millie’s son. He settled in her arms and stared up at her, his fist in his mouth. “There are plenty of young single women for him to court, between our community and the neighboring ones.” She smiled at the baby and touched his nose. “Which baby is this one, Millie? I can’t tell them apart.”
“That’s little Amos. But don’t think you’re going to change the subject. What about Solomon Mast?” She sighed. “I can see the wedding now.”
“What wedding?” Ruby asked, laughing at Millie’s dramatic expression.
“When Elizabeth marries Solomon, of course.” Millie laughed along with her. “Don’t you think they belong together?”
Elizabeth handed little Amos back to his mother. “Don’t be silly. I don’t even know the man. Save your wedding plans for someone else.”
“I think they’re well suited, with his land right next to hers,” Millie said as Elizabeth escaped out the door. She didn’t wait to hear Ruby’s reply.
When it was the women’s turn to eat, Elizabeth found a seat at the table between Mamm and Ruby. As the men had finished their meal, they had drifted toward the barn where they could stand out of the light rain and visit. Some were admiring Solomon’s buggy as he pointed out the red-painted details on the undercarriage. He laughed often and even the soberest of the men joined in. Such a contrast to Reuben, who would never gather with any of the men in the neighborhood except Ned Hamlin.
Aaron and Jonas had not made themselves part of the group. They sat together on a bench under a tree talking with Gideon, but Aaron’s attention wasn’t on either man. He was watching Solomon. Solomon didn’t seem to notice, but then Elizabeth saw him glance in Aaron’s direction. His handsome face paled, then he shifted his stance so that his back was to Aaron. Aaron frowned, still staring at the group of men, fingering his long red beard.
What was that all about?
Levi Beiler took a deep breath of the fresh evening air as he stood at the top of the hill, just before the road dipped into the Weaver’s Creek valley. The afternoon showers had moved on, leaving cool weather behind for the rest of the Lord’s Day.
He often stopped in this spot near Elizabeth Kaufman’s old house to enjoy the beauty of the farms and woods with the creek winding through like a thread. Tonight, the creek was golden as it reflected the lowering sun, and off to the east a rainbow graced the sky. A familiar longing twisted his heart, though he barely noticed it after so many years. If only . . .
Levi shook his head. He had no reason to be discontent. At twenty-three years old, he finally had a comfortable, respectful relationship with Father. And the farm was doing well enough to support his parents and himself. Millie, his younger sister, was married and happy. At least, he assumed she was. Any woman would be happy, as busy as she was with her six-month-old twins.
Most satisfying of all was the freedom he now had to study the scriptures and other church writings to his heart’s content. Father even discussed what he was reading with him on occasion.
No, he had no reason to be discontent, except that a man should have a partner. Adam had Eve. Father had Mother. Jonas had his Katie. If only there was someone he could share the joys of this life with. Even though Paul had written that it was better for a man to be alone . . . except he also wrote that it was good to marry . . .
Levi started down the hill. He mustn’t forget his errand. Solomon Mast’s appearance at the church meeting this morning had taken everyone’s attention and Levi hadn’t been able to have his talk with Abraham.
He found the older man alone in the barn, finishing up the milking.
“It’s an easier job now that you only have one cow, isn’t it?” Levi leaned on the top rail of the cow pen.
Abraham glanced at him, then picked up the pail of milk and poured it into a can. “It is. I’ve tried to convince Lydia that we don’t need even this one, that we could get our milk from Samuel, but she won’t hear of it.” He patted the cow on the rump and sent her back out to the pasture. “What brings you by?”
Levi grabbed the milk can and followed Abraham to the springhouse between the barn and the house. “I wanted to talk to you about the next ministers’ meeting this afternoon at church, but I didn’t get an opportunity. It’s going to be in Wayne County again this year.”
“I had heard,” Abraham said, closing the springhouse door after Levi set the can in the cool running water. “I also heard that the last two meetings, in Pennsylvania and Indiana, were dominated by the change-minded faction.”
“That’s exactly right. That is why as many conservative leaders as possible are meeting here in Holmes County the week before the general meeting in July.”
Abraham’s gaze was piercing. “It sounds like they’re ready to pit one side against the other. That isn’t a peaceful way to solve the differences.”
Levi followed Abraham to the porch. “Even though many hold out hope that there can be a reconciliation, I don’t see how there can ever be the unity we’ve enjoyed in the past. The change-minded faction is determined.”
“So are the traditionalists.” Abraham settled into a chair and Levi joined him. “I hate to see it, but these controversies have been brewing for many years.”
“Sometimes I think a schism in the church is inevitable.”
Abraham sat silently for a few minutes, then heaved a sigh. “You’ll be going to this meeting?”
“I’ll go to both of them with Gideon. I want to observe, even if I’m not allowed to vote on the issues. I’m curious to see how the change-minded group accepts our position.”
“You think they will object?”
“The conservative leaders want to state our position in a unified way and present it in written form so that their meaning can’t be mistaken.” Levi rubbed the perspiration off the bridge of his nose. “But I’m afraid the change-minded ministers won’t pay much attention to them. They dismiss their brothers as old fashioned and afraid to try new things.”
“We will have to wait and see how it plays out.” Abraham rose from his chair. “The end is in the Good Lord’s hands, and he knows best.”
A thump sounded from inside the house, followed by a pause, then the sound of the kitchen door opening. Jonas came out on the porch, along with his Englisch friend. As Abraham went inside the house, Levi greeted Aaron with a nod. He had been surprised but pleased to see the stranger at the church meeting this morning.
“Aaron,” Jonas said, keeping his Deitsch slower and more distinct than usual. “This is Levi Beiler. You’ve heard me mention him.”
“Several times.” The man grinned as he shook Levi’s hand. “I remember seeing you at the church service this morning.”
“Did I hear your last name is Zook? You must be related to Dan and Ephraim.”
Aaron’s grin disappeared as he shook his head. “Not that I know.” He sat on the top step, resting his crutches on the edge of the porch.
Jonas laughed and clapped his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “Everyone who meets him asks him that. I think it would be good if we found out that Aaron was related to the Zooks here. It doesn’t matter who you are, knowing you have family around is important.”
Aaron rubbed the stump of hi
s leg.
“You don’t have family back home?” Levi wanted to pull back the words as soon as they were out. He didn’t know this man well enough to prod him with a personal question like that.
Jonas lowered his voice. “Aaron’s father and grandfather died during the war. He has no one else.”
Levi moved to the porch steps and sat next to Aaron. “It would be good for you to find out if you have family here. Dan told me his father is coming to Ohio for the ministers’ meeting next month. He lives in Lancaster County in Pennsylvania but will be moving the rest of the family out here to live near Dan and his brother, Ephraim. He might know if you have any family connections.”
“I don’t know. I might not be here next month.” Aaron had switched from struggling to speak in Deitsch to Englisch.
Levi glanced at Jonas.
“I thought you had decided not to go west,” Jonas said.
“Yeah, well, I haven’t decided for certain yet.” He picked up a pebble from the step and threw it out into the twilit drive. “I’m not sure I’m ready to put down roots anywhere.” He picked up another pebble and rolled it between his fingers. “Every time I stop moving, memories catch up with me.”
“Those memories will fade eventually,” Jonas said. “I’ve heard that men can recover from the effects of war.”
“Not when reminders show up when you least expect them.” Aaron tossed another pebble. “Like that Solomon Mast this morning. He reminds me of someone. Someone I’d rather forget.”
In the east, the evening star shone in the darkening sky. Fireflies blinked on and off in the meadow while silence followed Aaron’s words.
After long minutes, Jonas sighed. “Promise you won’t head west until you’ve healed,” he said. “It hasn’t been long enough since your injury for you to recover fully.”
Aaron looked down. Levi followed his gaze to the pinned-up trouser leg. He had always admired Jonas and they had been good friends, but Jonas had traveled through a valley with Aaron that he couldn’t imagine. Perhaps it would be best if the stranger just moved on like he said he wanted to. A friendship this close with a non-Amish fellow could pull Jonas further away from his home than the war had.
The most important task for Jonas right now was to join the church and get on with the life he had planned with Katie. He needed to put the war and Englisch ways behind him.
4
After the Monday morning chores were done and Katie had gone to visit her sister-in-law Lena, Elizabeth tied her bonnet strings under her chin. Ever since Datt had told her that Young Peter and Margaret would be moving into this house she was sharing with Katie, Elizabeth had been restless. It was true that she was welcome at Mamm and Datt’s house and could easily move back into the bedroom she had shared with Ruby as they were growing up, but she had left nearly fifteen years ago now. Would it be so bad to move to the log cabin where she had lived while she was married? She hadn’t been back since she left to set up housekeeping with Katie after Margaretta had passed on nearly two years ago.
Leaving the laundry to finish drying on the line, Elizabeth walked down to the road. But as she passed the home farm and turned up the hill leading toward Reuben’s farm, her steps slowed. Perhaps she would stop and visit with her sister Ruby first. After all, she would be passing the Fischers’ farm.
Elizabeth interrupted her thoughts with a quick shake of her head. She would visit with Ruby after she took a look at the cabin. It was no use putting off the unpleasant task once she had determined to do it.
She hurried past the lane leading to Ruby and Gideon’s house and climbed up the hill. When she could see the cabin, she stopped, forcing herself to look closely instead of turning her head away like she usually did when she passed this way. The walls leaned farther into the slope than she remembered, and the roof was covered with moss. She took a few steps closer, putting a trembling foot on the overgrown path that had once led to the front of the cabin. The door hung open. One of the leather hinges had finally rotted through. Walking up to the door, she pulled on it gently and it swung open a bit farther. The table was still in its place but was littered with dirt and half-eaten pinecones. The bed frame in the corner was bare, the ropes that had once held the mattress hanging loose. The rest of the cabin was in shadow and a rustling noise came from the darkness in the far corner.
The last time she was here, Ruby had been with her, helping her pack her things to move to Katie’s house. Ruby had always filled the cabin with life and light, but now the old memories had crept back with the neglect. Elizabeth’s head throbbed as her mind ran in a direction she couldn’t bear, and she backed away, pushing the heavy door closed with all her strength. She clasped her stomach. She wouldn’t get sick. She wouldn’t. Reuben was dead. She was free.
She took a deep breath and walked around to the back of the cabin. Her garden was overrun with weeds and the chicken house had blown down in a storm. It must have happened last winter, because she remembered it was there the last time she had seen the cabin, her home for so many years.
Not home. Home was a place of love and joy, where folks made you feel welcome. Reuben’s cabin had never been her home. Elizabeth turned her back on it and headed down the hill to Ruby’s.
Five-year-old Ezra and his two-year-old brother Daniel were in the shaded front yard playing in a sandpile, but when Ezra saw Elizabeth, he ran to her.
“Guess what we’re doing,” he said, his feet planted in front of her as if he dared her to try to walk past him. “Guess.”
“Only if you give me a hug first.”
Elizabeth opened her arms and he fell into them, squeezing her waist in a hard, quick hug, then pulled away. He took her hand, tugging her toward the sandpile. Elizabeth longed to hold him close, but he was never still long enough to satisfy her. Every time she looked into his face, she wondered . . . had her child been a boy? Would he have been as active and full of life as her nephew?
“We’re building a farm,” Ezra announced before she could make her guess. “Daniel is building the lanes and I’m planting the fields.”
The boys had plucked leaves from the surrounding bushes and Ezra had planted them stem down in neat rows. Daniel’s lanes wobbled between the fields, wherever he pushed his piece of wood to make a flat road.
“It’s a fine farm.” Elizabeth knelt at the edge of the sand. “What crops are you growing?”
“That’s corn, and that’s oats, and that’s barley, and that’s wheat.” Ezra pointed as he named the fields. “We’re going to plant beans next. Then there will be a meadow and Daniel will put his animals in it.”
Daniel looked up. “Cows and horses.” He stood up. “I get them.”
Both boys ran toward the house. Elizabeth followed them, letting herself into the kitchen. Ruby looked up from rolling out a piecrust on the kitchen table.
“I thought I heard someone talking to the boys. What brings you this way today?”
Elizabeth sat at the table and watched Ruby roll the dough with short, sure strokes. “I went up to the farm. I thought I might be able to fix up the old cabin to live in, but it’s a mess.”
Ruby finished rolling out the crust and eased it into a pie plate.
“You never liked living there alone,” she said as she lifted the plate and cut the overhanging edges of dough. The spiral fell back to the table.
“I know, but I need to find somewhere to live. Katie and Jonas will be married soon, and the Stuckeys have planned for Margaret and Young Peter to live in Katie’s house after their wedding.”
“So, you need a house.” Ruby fetched a pan from the stove and poured the red fruit filling into the pie.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Rhubarb?”
“With strawberries.” Ruby checked the oven’s temperature. “It’s Gideon’s favorite.” She gathered the dough scraps into a ball and started rolling out the top crust for the pie. “But back to your house. You won’t really move into that old cabin, will you? Talk to Datt. Perhaps we could bu
ild you a new house on your farm.”
“Datt suggested selling Reuben’s—” She stopped herself. “My farm. He says I can move in with the folks, or they could build a house for me on the home farm.”
“That sounds like a good solution to your problem.” Ruby positioned the top crust over the pie and settled it into place.
Elizabeth watched as her sister put the pie in the oven and brushed the flour off her hands, as confident as Mamm in every motion. She was happy.
The thought was startling. Elizabeth’s mind went back to the days before Ruby and Gideon married. Her sister had been pleasant enough to be around, but she hadn’t been happy. Marrying Gideon had given her a husband to love and a ready-made family. The arrival of Baby Lovinia almost a year later had given Ruby even more confidence, but now it was combined with a joyful peace that Elizabeth watched with envy, tinged with fear for her sister. She knew what men could become when they thought no one was watching.
“I don’t want to give up my independence,” Elizabeth said, pushing those thoughts aside and giving an answer Ruby would approve of. “If I sell the farm, I won’t have anything of my own. I’ll go back to depending on Mamm and Datt again.”
Ruby poured a cup of coffee for both of them and set one in front of Elizabeth before sitting down.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”
“You’re the one who always told me a woman should be able to support herself.”
“And I still think that.” Ruby stirred some honey into her cup. “But being able to support yourself and doing it when it isn’t necessary are two different things. You’re a widow, but you don’t have to be alone. If you don’t want to move back to the home farm, you could get married again.”
A sick knot twisted in Elizabeth’s stomach, but she put a smile on her face. “Who would I marry?” She forced a laugh. “I’m not going to grab a man off the streets in Millersburg.”
Ruby laughed with her. “Nothing like that. But there’s Levi Beiler. He’s still single, and definitely ready to get married.”