by Jan Drexler
“I have something for you to do.” She was shaking and flinched when he reached to straighten the kerchief on her head, his hand gentle. “I want you to talk to Elizabeth the next time she visits. Invite her into the kitchen for coffee. Offer her something to eat.”
Dulcey cast a sideways glance up at him. “Why?”
“She’ll tell you things she would never tell me. Ask her about her farm and her life. Find out everything you can and then report to me.”
His servant didn’t answer but looked at the floor. He shook her, still holding her by the arm.
“Do what I say, or you’ll end up back in that saloon where I found you. You remember what that was like, don’t you?”
She nodded.
“Now go and lay out my regular clothes, and make sure you’ve brushed my coat. Then hitch up the buggy. I need to go to Millersburg.”
As she disappeared up the stairs, Solomon picked up the buggy whip and put it back in its place. Dulcey would obey him. She was always compliant.
Late Tuesday afternoon as Aaron was walking home from Gideon’s farm, he heard a cart coming behind him on the road. He glanced back, preparing to make his way to the edge of the graded dirt track, but then saw Elizabeth turn her pony cart into her farm. He changed direction and headed up the hill, using his new cane to steady his steps. Whatever Elizabeth was doing at the old cabin, she might need some help.
By the time he arrived, the pony was tied outside the cabin. Aaron walked to the door and looked in just in time to see a ceiling beam give way in a shower of dirt and old leaves.
“Elizabeth!”
“I’m all right.”
Her voice came from the loft above, or what was left of it.
“What are you doing up there?” Dust filled the air in a cloud, obscuring everything.
Elizabeth coughed. “I’m looking for something and thought it might be in the loft.” She coughed again. “What brings you here?”
“I saw you turn into the farm from the road and thought you might need some help.”
The dust started settling and Aaron picked his way through the debris covering the floor. Elizabeth was standing on a second beam, keeping her balance by holding on to the rafters. He leaned on his cane.
“It looks like you might need some help getting down. How did you climb up there?”
“There is a ladder. It was leaning against the beam that fell.”
Aaron found the ladder under the broken beam and pulled it out. Setting his cane aside, he maneuvered it upright and leaned it against the remaining beam. Elizabeth grasped the top, then started down.
“How did you avoid falling when that beam gave way?”
Elizabeth reached the floor and tried to wipe the dust from her skirt. “I was between the two beams when I heard it crack. When I jumped toward the wall, it fell, but I had reached the second beam. I’m glad it didn’t break too.”
Aaron looked around at the old cabin. He had seen some shacks in west Tennessee, but not many in as bad shape as this one was.
“You used to live here?”
Elizabeth looked around at the mess, crossing her arms with her palms cupping her elbows. “It was in better condition then. After Ruby and Gideon married, I moved into Katie’s house. I thought about moving back here once, but I’ve realized that even a good cleaning wouldn’t make this a place I’d want to live in.”
“You could tear it down and build a new house here.”
She snorted. “It needs to be burned down.”
Another cloud of dust rose up as part of the beam settled farther toward the floor.
“We should get out of here. Something else may fall.”
“Not until I find what I’m looking for.”
“I can help. What is it?”
“Some papers. I’ve never seen them in here, but Solomon said they must be somewhere. This is the only place Reuben could have kept them.”
Aaron grimaced at the mention of her husband. Jonas had told him little about Elizabeth’s marriage, but from the information he did give him, Aaron knew he wouldn’t want to meet the man.
“What kind of papers?”
Elizabeth shifted her gaze away from his, chewing on her bottom lip. “Solomon didn’t want me to tell anyone, in case the lawyer in Mississippi finds out. But I could use your help.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m looking for the deed to the farm, our marriage certificate. Important documents.”
Aaron’s stomach twisted. Why did Solomon want her to find papers like that? And what did a lawyer have to do with it? But he wasn’t going to leave her alone to look. Another part of the old cabin could fall down at any time.
He waved away the swirl of dust motes hanging in the air between them. “Did he keep the papers in something? Like a leather pouch or a metal box?”
“I don’t remember ever seeing them, but he did have a metal box. He never let me see what was in it.”
“But you don’t know where he kept it.”
She shook her head. “The only time I saw it was—” She bit her lip. “I was sick, and he thought I wasn’t watching him, but I still don’t know what he did with it.”
“I have some time this afternoon. I can help you look.”
She hesitated. “You won’t mind? As you can see, it’s going to be a dirty job, and we might not find anything.”
“Let’s start at that corner and work our way around.”
Aaron prodded at the dry chinking between the logs in the corner while Elizabeth pulled the bed frame away from the wall.
“So, Solomon suggested that you look here?”
Elizabeth peered up the cold chimney. “He said he would look through the records at the courthouse in Millersburg, but he thought Reuben would have kept the papers here.”
“Why is Solomon looking for them?”
“Because of the letter.” She was standing on the floor of the fireplace with her head inside the chimney and her words were muffled.
“What letter?”
She stepped out of the fireplace and started examining the mantel. “I received a letter from a law firm in Mississippi asking about any property Reuben might have owned in Ohio.”
“Why would a southern lawyer be interested in Reuben’s property?”
Elizabeth coughed again. “Let’s go outside for a few minutes while the dust settles.”
Aaron grabbed his cane and followed her into the bright afternoon sunshine. She drew a bucket of clear water from the well and they both took a drink, then sat on a bench someone had placed in the shade of a tree long ago. Elizabeth sighed deeply and gazed at the cabin.
“My husband was a cruel man.” Her voice was even. Flat. As if she were telling him about the weather.
“Jonas told me a bit about him.”
“Reuben joined the Confederate army early in the war and was in Vicksburg for more than a year. While he was there, he married another woman. They had a son.”
Disgust for this man Aaron had never met rolled over him in a wave. Both Grandpop and Pa had taught him that women were to be protected, nurtured, and cherished. Women were strong and capable, but their job of bearing and raising children made them even more precious. The thought of this man turning his back on Elizabeth . . . Aaron resisted the urge to take her in his arms and settled for laying his hand on top of hers.
“I’m sorry.”
She looked at him, her eyes wide. Tears glistened in the corners.
“You believe me?”
“Of course. Men can be stupid creatures, only thinking of themselves. If it had been me . . .” He let his words trail off. If Elizabeth had been his wife, he would have done everything in his power to come home to her.
“I took the letter to Solomon because it was written in Englisch. I got the feeling he didn’t believe me at first. In fact, he insisted that I had to find a certificate of marriage to prove that I was Reuben’s wife.”
Aaron’s jaw clenched. “You should have brought it to me. I could have read it fo
r you.”
She pulled her hand out from under his. “I didn’t think you would be able to read it. The script was very fancy, and the letter was full of long words I couldn’t make out. I knew Solomon had had dealings with the Englisch and he would know what to do.”
“Solomon isn’t the man you should be going to for advice. Abraham will be home in a few days. Wait to see what he says.”
“I can’t wait that long. The letter took several weeks to arrive. I know the lawyer is waiting for an answer.” She chewed on her lower lip, still watching the cabin. Finally, she looked at him, a smile on her face. “I had better start looking for those papers again. Solomon thinks they are very important.”
“Did he say why?” Aaron rose to follow her back into the cabin.
“He said we needed to prove that I am the rightful owner of the farm, although I don’t know why he is so insistent. If this other woman needs money to support herself and her child, I would give the property to her. It doesn’t mean anything to me. If Solomon and I marry, we could live very well on his farm.”
Aaron halted as Elizabeth continued into the cabin. Marriage to Solomon would be the worst mistake of Elizabeth’s life, if he was right about the man. As bad as Reuben had been, Aaron knew Solomon would never give Elizabeth the life she longed for. Men like that never considered anyone else when they made their plans.
10
Elizabeth found herself standing near Salome Beiler on Sunday morning before church. It was pleasant weather on this second Sunday in June and people lingered outside Simeon and Hannah Keck’s house, waiting for the service to start.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Salome said, shaking her head. “I never thought I would see a minister act like that.”
When Elizabeth saw what Salome was looking at, she covered a grin with her hand. Gideon had purchased a buggy for his family and had driven it to church. The black sides shone in the bright sunlight.
“We all voted on whether to allow buggy driving on Sunday, Salome,” Mamm said from the other side of Elizabeth. “For families with several children or for older folks, driving a buggy makes it possible for them to attend the church meeting. Too many stay home when the distance is too far for them to walk.”
“I didn’t vote for it.” Salome crossed her arms.
“No one at the meeting objected.” Mamm’s voice was strong and steady. Elizabeth admired her for keeping her temper, even in a disagreement with Salome.
“I knew everyone was against me.”
“Solomon Mast drives a buggy to church, but I’ve never heard you complain about him.”
Salome sniffed. “Solomon Mast is different. He is a good Amishman.”
Elizabeth kept her gaze on the ground. What would Salome think if she knew that Solomon had practically asked her to marry him? Elizabeth stifled a giggle. She might be speechless, given her opposing opinions of the two of them.
“We are equal in the eyes of God.” Mamm’s voice held an edge, as if she was warning Salome to watch what she was saying.
“Ja, ja, ja.” Salome started walking toward the house. “I know, Lydia. You needn’t bring it up again.”
Mamm chuckled softly.
“What was that about?” Elizabeth asked.
“I decided that the way to stop Salome’s thoughtless comments was to remind her that she is no better than anyone else.” Mamm smiled. “It has made bearing her company more pleasant.”
Elizabeth followed Mamm toward the house, falling behind a little as she watched the buggies arrive. Solomon hadn’t driven up yet and Elizabeth hoped he wasn’t going to miss the worship service. Finally, just as she reached the door, she saw his black horse turn into the farm lane. She had only seen him once since he had asked her to look for the documents proving her ownership of Reuben’s farm. When he learned that she hadn’t found them yet, his frown was enough to bring a quick apology.
“I’m sorry. I’ll keep looking.”
“See that you do.” His voice had growled. “We don’t have anything to discuss until you find those papers.”
“I won’t stop until I find them.”
Then he had caught her chin in one hand, grasping it hard enough to leave a red mark. “I know you won’t.”
He had patted her cheek and gone into the house to talk to Datt.
Elizabeth hadn’t liked how hard he had held her chin, but he didn’t know how strong he was. That was the only problem. Solomon would never deliberately hurt her.
She slipped into her place on the bench next to Ruby and her family just as the first hymn was announced. While they sang, Solomon walked in and took the last spot on the bench on the men’s side, directly across the aisle from her. He didn’t look her way but opened a copy of the Ausbund and joined in the singing. As the service progressed, Elizabeth tried to catch his eye, but his gaze remained on the front of the church.
After two of the sermons were done and Gideon was rising to deliver the third one, Ruby leaned over to whisper, “I need to take Lovinia out to change her. Would you watch the boys for me?”
Elizabeth nodded and held her arms out for Daniel. He climbed into her lap, sleepy as they drifted toward the end of the service. Ezra took his mother’s place between Roseanna and Sophia and watched his father.
Gideon started his sermon.
“I will be speaking on the twelfth chapter of Hebrews, the first and second verses.”
The pages of the Bible rustled in the quiet room as he turned to the passage. As Gideon read the verses, Elizabeth heard them as if they were birds’ wings beating a soft thrum on her heart. When he reached the phrase “the sin that so easily besets us,” she thought of how a crow will struggle to fly away from the smaller birds that attack it when it comes too close to their nest. She knew what it was to be beset by sin. Nothing had ever been able to remove that dark stain. She could almost feel the sharp beaks picking at her, attacking her, never letting her forget.
Then Gideon read, “‘Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.’” Elizabeth didn’t hear the rest of the verse. She had heard about Jesus all through her life, but had she ever looked to him?
Gideon finished reading and closed his eyes for a brief minute. When he opened them, he talked about the stain of sin and how there was nothing in one’s own power that could remove that terrible curse. Elizabeth found herself nodding in agreement.
Then Gideon said, “But there is an answer. God has provided the way for you to be free of your sin.”
Elizabeth leaned forward over Daniel’s sleeping body, but his next words were lost when Ruby came back and pushed past Elizabeth to take her own seat. After Ruby had sat down again, holding a sleeping Lovinia, Elizabeth happened to look across the aisle and caught Solomon watching her. He nodded at the sleeping boy in her arms and smiled.
A warm wave of delight washed over Elizabeth and she returned Solomon’s smile. His message had been clear. He liked seeing her with her nephew in her arms. Solomon turned back to the front of the room and Elizabeth leaned down to kiss Daniel’s sweaty forehead. Someday, perhaps soon, she could be holding her own child in her arms. A child that was wanted and loved, not rejected by his father.
She stroked Daniel’s cheek, dreaming of that day, until Gideon’s voice stopped speaking and the ministers stood to close the service. Whatever she had missed of Gideon’s sermon didn’t matter anymore.
After the fellowship meal, Levi joined the other men standing in the doorway of the large bank barn. The doors were swung wide at both ends of the building and the gentle breeze cooled the shaded bay. The rafters in the open haymow tossed the men’s voices back to them in soft echoes.
“What did you think of the ministers’ meeting last week?” Simeon asked. “I wanted to go, but I had a cow about to calve and couldn’t leave.”
Abraham lifted his eyebrows. “A heifer?”
“Healthy as I could ask for. She’s out there with her mamm now.” Simeon pointed out the far door at a brown cow and calf in the m
eadow. The calf was nearly hidden by the tall grass.
Gideon leaned against the doorframe. “The meeting went like I expected.”
“You mean they ignored us,” Caleb Lehman said. “The tradition-minded men had drawn up a fine document stating our views and they didn’t even discuss it.”
“At least they read it,” Levi said. “I never expected it would be discussed.”
“It’s as if they mean to drive us out of our own church,” Gideon said. “I fear the split that started in Indiana will spread to the rest of the communities.”
Casper Zook pulled at his beard. “The change-minded folks are the ones leaving and they will never come back. They’re adopting new worldly inventions as fast as they can.”
“Photographs and lightning rods,” said Caleb.
“Holding political office,” Simeon added.
“Building churches and holding Sunday schools,” said Solomon.
“What is so bad about Sunday schools?” Aaron asked. He looked around at the men. “Other churches have them.”
“Sunday schools are acceptable if they are done carefully and don’t take the place of the parents’ instruction,” Abraham said. “My main objection to them is that they separate families when the children are still at a tender age. But we don’t adopt changes only because other churches have. We are called to follow God’s direction, not the world’s. And especially not the churches of this world.”
The men were silent for a few minutes. Levi watched the folks gathered in small groups in the shaded yard behind the Kecks’ big farmhouse. The children played a game of tag while their mothers watched. Older women sat in a circle under the biggest tree listening to something Lydia was telling them. The older boys huddled near the pasture where the horses were grazing, furtively glancing at the group of older girls gathered at the kitchen door.