by Janice Lynn
“The same way you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.”
She nodded. Which was crazy. She didn’t know him, and you’d think she knew better than to ever trust a man again.
Perhaps it was because he was Amy’s friend, but she believed the cause ran deeper.
Restlessness overtook her and she needed to move.
“Can we walk for a bit?” She stood, brushed off her shorts. “I need to move.”
As the band was still playing, surprise darkened the blue of his eyes. “Then we’ll move.”
He shook out their blanket, put it in his backpack, and took her hand back into his. They walked in silence, making their way through the crowd. When they reached the fence along one edge of the festival grounds they turned and made their way back toward the stages. The show they’d been watching had finished and the crowd was thinning to head to one of the smaller stages.
“Sorry I made you miss the last of the show.”
“Not a problem. I’d rather have been with you.”
“Yeah, right,” she snorted.
“Really.”
She glanced toward him, saw genuine concern on his face. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Being so nice.”
One corner of his mouth tugged upward, digging a dimple into his cheek. “Well, I did promise Amy to take care of you and make sure you had a good time.”
Taylor stopped walking. “Is that what this is?”
“This?” He looked confused.
She lifted their raised hands.
An odd noise, almost a snort, came from deep in his throat. “Amy is a good friend, but I wouldn’t become romantically involved with someone for her sake.”
He shook his head as if to clear the very idea from his mind.
Taylor arched her brow. “Romantically involved?”
A repentant sort of grin on his face, he shrugged. “I guess that was presumptuous.”
“Is that what’s happening here?” she pressed, needing to hear him verbally confirm what was happening. “Us becoming romantically involved?”
He searched her gaze. “You tell me. Is that what you want?”
Refusing to look away, she held his gaze, determined to make sure he understood who her core being was. “I don’t sleep around.”
Sex, or even thinking about sex, just hadn’t been an issue until she’d met Jack. She’d not really thought about or tried to figure out what she, the Taylor she was morphing into, wanted regarding a sex life because she’d thought she wouldn’t have to deal with that until way into the future.
“Good,” he said. “Neither do I.”
“No, I mean I really don’t.” She paused, tried to figure out how to explain, feeling it imperative she make him understand. “It makes me old-fashioned, but the only person I’ve been with is my husband.”
At Jack’s look of surprise, she corrected, “My ex-husband.”
His expression softened. “That you haven’t slept around isn’t a negative in my book, Taylor.”
“But you wouldn’t be opposed to us having sex?”
One side of his mouth hiked up, revealing a gorgeous dimple. “Is that a trick question?”
His response shouldn’t annoy her, but for some reason it did. She pulled her hand free. “I want an honest answer, Jack.”
“I gave you one.” His expression grew serious. “Besides, you knew the answer when you asked.”
“How would I know?”
“You knew the moment you walked into the medical tent and our gazes met,” he pointed out. “I instantly felt a connection and you felt it, too. If I’m mistaken, tell me.”
Taylor couldn’t believe they were having this conversation in the middle of a crowd. They’d stopped walking. People thronged all around them, yet no one was paying them the slightest attention.
“You aren’t wrong,” she admitted.
He gave a low laugh. “Is that easier than saying you want me, too?”
“Even if I did, it doesn’t mean we’re going to act on those feelings,” she pointed out, even though she wondered if that’s exactly what that meant. “I don’t do that.”
He didn’t look upset at her answer, just asked, “Why not?”
Stunned, Taylor stared. “What do you mean?”
“Why don’t you have sex?” he clarified.
Her face caught fire. She couldn’t believe they were discussing her sex life—her lack of a sex life. “Because...”
“How long have you been divorced, Taylor?”
She’d told him the only man she’d been with was her ex-husband, but something in his voice, his eyes said he knew more than what she’d revealed about her past. What had Amy told him? That Taylor had screwed up her life by marrying a man who had been all shiny surface and no depth? That she was lonely and desperate?
She wasn’t. This past year had been about healing, finding Taylor, not about replacing Neil. She didn’t want to replace Neil. Not when she’d finally started discovering who she was and liking the woman emerging. The adult Taylor who didn’t have to abide by her parents’ heavy hand or be under her ex-husband’s critical thumb.
She’d fight to protect that Taylor, would go to great lengths to keep any man from changing who was emerging from the dark cocoon she’d been encased in her whole life.
“A little over a year.”
“And you’ve not had sex during the past year? Not even a rebound fling?”
She’d only thought she’d felt hot before. Now she burned so brightly she was surprised everyone wasn’t whipping out their sunglasses to protect their eyes.
“You don’t have to answer. I can see it on your face. So again I’ll ask, why haven’t you had sex since your divorce? Are you still in love with him?”
“No.” Unable to stand still, she took off walking, again, making her way through the throng of music lovers.
“Then why choose to be celibate?” Jack asked from beside her, obviously determined to finish their conversation.
“Not everyone has to go around having sex all the time, you know.” She glanced his way.
His brow arched. “Is that what you think I do?”
“I don’t know what you do. I just met you. Maybe you have a fling during every one of these music festivals and I’m just this festival’s chosen partner.”
“I haven’t.”
Why did his answer make her heart beat more wildly? Why did their conversation feel so important?
She tilted her chin higher. “But you have had flings?”
“Have I had mutually consensual and satisfying sex during a music festival?” Staring intently into her eyes, he nodded. “Yes. More than once. Is that what you want to hear, Taylor? That I have had a healthy, enjoyable sex life? Does my admission make me less in your eyes?”
Taylor realized they’d reached the other end of the festival grounds and were near the medical tent and the Oasis. The haven was practically deserted. Letting go of his hand, she took off running towards the Oasis and dropped down onto the sand.
The Oasis had called to her like some mystical mirage offering what she needed. For all her pushing, Jack hadn’t raised his voice or seemed mad, more intent on pressing her to find answers within herself. As if he realized she needed those answers more than he did.
He didn’t run after her but, hands in his shorts pockets, he strolled towards her, whistling a tune that sounded similar to one of the songs they’d listened to the band play earlier.
When he reached her, he didn’t say anything, just sat down in the sand beside her, staring out toward the closest stage, and patiently waited for her to say something.
It was a long time before she found words. She marveled that he sat silently with her, giving her the time and space to get her thoughts together.
“O
ne of the reasons I’ve not had sex in the past year is that I haven’t wanted to have sex.” She took a deep breath. “Not even a hint of wanting to touch or have sex.” She exhaled. “Not until now.” Another deep inhalation and exhalation because she might pass out if she didn’t force herself to breathe. “You’re the first person I’ve wanted to have sex with since my divorce, and I want you. A lot. I find that exciting and terrifying.”
There. She’d said the words out loud. Let him think what he may.
“Is it wrong if I say I’m honored?”
His voice sounded so cocky and his eyes danced with such wicked pleasure that Taylor’s hackles rose.
“Don’t patronize me, Jack Morgan.”
His eyes remaining locked with hers, he lifted her chin to make her look into his eyes.
“I want you, Taylor. A lot. More than a lot.” The colored lights providing a soft glow around the oasis glittered in his eyes. “Hearing you say you want me too doesn’t generate a single patronizing thought.”
Staring into his eyes, seeing so much emotion reflected there, Taylor swallowed. “What does it do?”
“Makes me want to kiss you even more than I already did.”
Jack wanted to kiss her.
She’d known that.
Still, his words thrilled her, made her want to jump up and down and dance around the sandpit like a giddy schoolgirl.
His words also made her want to take off running again. As far as her feet would take her because Lord help her at the things his admission did to her insides.
“We just met yesterday,” she reminded herself as much as him.
His gaze held hers. “I haven’t forgotten.”
Her heart slammed against her ribcage so hard that surely he felt the impact of each beat. “It’s too soon.”
His thumb stroked across her jawline. “I know.”
But even as the words left his mouth she leaned over and brushed her lips against his.
Oh, heaven. His lips were soft.
And electric.
It was barely more than a peck before she pulled back, searched his eyes, making sure the pounding inside her body wasn’t deafening him.
It was deafening her.
Had he felt the same pleasure at the touch?
His held fell away from her face and he started to say something, but rather than let him she pressed her mouth against his again. This time she deepened the kiss and kept her eyes locked with his in the faint glow of the colored lights.
Those lights must be why a brilliant kaleidoscope flashed through her mind.
His lips were warm, undemanding, and yet nothing had ever demanded so much from her.
The kiss drew out every nerve ending, reached every cell, refused to let any part of her be passive. Everything about him necessitated action.
He wasn’t touching her anywhere except her lips, yet every part of her felt him. His eyes darkened to depths she wanted to topple into and drown within.
She knew she could push him away, could stand up and walk away, could tell him to stop at any point she wanted this to end, and he’d let her. She had entire control and the knowledge, the surety emboldened her to not do any of those things.
Instead, she got lost in the inky blueness that stared back, in the perfect pressure of his mouth against hers, tasting, caressing, tempting.
Jack wanted to kiss her.
He was kissing her.
She kissed him, not regretting that she’d leaned over and started this, but embracing this newly found freedom just as she’d embraced her body’s initial reaction to him.
Jack made her come to life, awakening new and exciting parts of her she hadn’t known existed.
Her heart raced, thundering like a stampeding herd. Her lungs struggled to get oxygen to her brain. She gave in to the escalating excitement at her core and kissed Jack with hunger.
With certainty.
Never had she felt so starved for what his lips gave.
Never had she felt the heat mounting inside her and pushing upward and outward.
Time faded. She had no idea how long they kissed, just that every breath she took was his, every sensation inside her started and ended with Jack.
Sweet, heavenly, laidback Jack who didn’t mind giving her control of their kiss.
A group of teens came running onto the sand near them. Taylor pulled back.
Breathless, she stared at Jack in awe.
He grinned.
Amazed at the relief, the happiness that flooded her at his smile, she grinned back.
So that was what a first kiss should feel like.
Amazing and worthy of shooting stars and firework displays.
Jack made her feel good inside, made her feel alive, made her feel as if she was a whole woman, as if she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted from life.
She wanted to wrap her arms around herself and give herself a hug.
And maybe a high-five, too, that she’d kissed him and it had been perfect.
Holding hands, she and Jack went back to the main stage, spread their blanket, and watched the next act as if nothing monumental had happened between them. When the show finished they made their way to the medical staff camping area.
Taylor’s heart kerthunked with each step they took into the campground, with each campsite they passed, drawing them nearer and nearer to theirs.
When they stood outside her tent, they paused, looked at each other, a thousand questions bouncing between them.
Jack’s gaze glittered. “’Night, Taylor.”
Disappointment hit that he wasn’t planning to spend the night inside her tent.
She wanted him inside her tent.
Inside her. She wanted to loosen his hair from its band and run her fingers through his silky locks. She wanted so much.
So much it stunned her.
“’Night, Jack,” she whispered back.
A smile still on his face, he winked, then closed the distance to his tent.
Taylor watched as he unzipped the flap, glanced her way one last time, then disappeared.
Part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and follow him, but another part wasn’t willing to risk ruining the best night she’d had in a long, long time.
Maybe ever.
CHAPTER FIVE
JACK’S GAZE DRIFTED to Taylor yet again. It was early morning. The sun was just starting to rise over the hundred-acre Tennessee farm where the festival took place each year. Soon they’d wake a few who had spent the night in the medical tent, not due to any emergency but who’d partied too much and had needed to sleep it off.
Jack never minded that. Part of their job was to provide a safe place for festival goers.
Like the young woman whom Taylor was currently settling into the cot. A couple of friends had dropped her off, saying she wasn’t acting right. Most of the patients they saw weren’t in any real danger, but there were always those few.
“Busy morning,” Taylor mused as she handed him the clipboard with her notes.
Skimming what she’d written, he nodded. “Each night of the festival brings a few more than the night before as the heat, booze, and lack of sleep kick in.”
“Guess it’s a good thing we’re off tomorrow, eh?” she teased.
“Are you planning to stay at the festival tonight or go back to Amy’s apartment?”
The surprise in her eyes said she hadn’t thought about leaving the festival.
“What am I asking? This is your first music festival. Of course you’re staying. Awesome bands are scheduled for tonight.”
“Um...right.” She smiled. “You know me and music so you may have to point them out.”
His lips twitched. “That mean you want to hang with me tonight?”
“Yes.” Relief shone in her big
brown eyes. “Would that be okay?”
He grinned. “I’d say it’d be pretty amazing.”
Her eyes brightened, and she smiled at him as if he’d just told her she’d won the lottery.
Refocusing his mind on the fact he still had a whole lot of hours to get through on today’s shift, he glanced over again at the clipboard she’d handed him. Looked pretty run of the mill.
“Anything I need to know about our latest?”
Taylor shook her head. “She’ll likely be fine in a few hours. Duffy is talking with her now to see if she knows what she took. During triage, she told me she didn’t take anything, but he has a way of getting the truth.”
Jack nodded. He’d seen Duffy work his magic first-hand. Unfortunately, there were times when a person didn’t know they’d been slipped something, or they simply didn’t know what they’d taken and no amount of talking could reveal it.
A long black-haired beauty flashed into his mind.
Sometimes the poison took hold and never let go.
He’d escaped.
Courtney hadn’t...
Just as his eyes were about to close to the wave of pain her memory triggered, a young man to Jack’s left began violently trembling on his cot. An emergency medical technician had been doing the heavily intoxicated patient’s intake, along with another who’d brought him into the medical tent.
Jack and Taylor were immediately at his side.
“Has he been given Narcan?” Jack asked, noting the man’s blue lips as he lifted the man’s eyelids to check his pupils. Pinpoint and no tracking.
“I injected him within two minutes of his arrival. He seemed to be stabilizing, his respirations picking up a little, heart rate, too. Then this shaking started and he looks awful.”
“Give him another dose,” Jack ordered, wondering if his thoughts of Courtney had somehow conjured the young man’s turn for the worse.
“Pulse is thready—about fifty,” Taylor told him, propping the guy’s legs up. “Respirations ten.”
Hell.
Glancing toward Taylor, he motioned to their crash cart. “I may need to vent him. Have everything here, just in case. This kid isn’t going to die on our watch.”
But it seemed he was going to give it a try.