by Janice Lynn
“We agreed not to talk about Courtney years ago.”
Scowling, the older man shook his head. “Can’t say I recall ever agreeing to that.”
“Perhaps it was an unspoken agreement, but I thought you understood.”
“I understand a lot of things. Like that you never let anyone get close enough to care about them and I’m worried about whatever this is with Taylor.”
“There are a lot of people in my life I care about.”
“Not what I meant, and you know it. Let’s talk about Courtney and then you tell me why I saw Taylor coming out of your tent.”
Jack glared at his long-time friend. “Have you been drinking something besides soda this morning or just feeling philosophical about your own life choices and trying to project them onto me?”
Duffy’s expression hardened, but rather than respond he just stared at Jack with cynical eyes.
Hell.
Jack stood from the chair, crushed his empty drink bottle. “I’m done with this conversation and don’t understand why we’re having it anyway.”
“Because of what I saw this morning.”
“Because you saw Taylor leave my tent? It wasn’t a big deal.” Jack rolled his eyes. “You’ve seen women leave my tent before, seen me leave women’s tents before,” he reminded Duffy, “and you’ll likely see it happen again in the future. Not once have you felt the need to comment. Not once. Do us both a favor and don’t start now because Taylor leaving my tent meant nothing.”
* * *
Taylor hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on Jack and Duffy’s conversation, but hadn’t been able to avoid doing so. Not with their close proximity and the absolute agitation rolling off Jack.
She’d not known quite what to expect when they first saw each other this morning, but this upset, almost angry-sounding man wasn’t it.
She’d not been able to sleep and after she’d heard the four a.m. crew leaving the campground, she’d snuck out of his tent in the hope of being inside her tent before the returning night crew showed.
Except for Duffy, who must never sleep, she’d succeeded.
Not that she’d seen Duffy but, from what she’d just overheard, he’d seen her.
That’s when it hit her that she really didn’t care that he’d seen her. As Jack had once told her, she was a grown woman and could do as she pleased. She’d pleased herself quite well the night before. More than once.
She wasn’t ashamed of that. Actually, she was quite proud she’d gone to Jack’s tent and climbed into his bed with him. To have done so had been so unlike the woman she’d once been and she liked that change. Liked it that she’d taken the initiative to go for what she wanted.
She had no unrealistic expectations. Jack was right. Her leaving his tent had meant nothing.
She wouldn’t pretend that it had or that she’d wanted it to.
Daring Duffy or anyone to tell her she’d been wrong, she lifted her chin and made her way toward them.
Duffy’s gaze went beyond Jack to meet with hers.
Jack spun, spotted her and cringed. “You heard that, didn’t you?” He shook his head with disgust, looking very unlike the laidback man she knew. “Why am I asking? Of course you heard that.”
That her smiling, happy Jack was anything but threw Taylor. She took a deep breath, pasted a smile on her face and went toward where the men were.
“Heard what?” She walked right over to Jack, planted a kiss on his cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do and her heart wasn’t pounding out of her chest. She held up the bags in her hands. “You won’t believe the cool things I bought this morning.”
Duffy knew she’d been standing there, had heard, but the older man didn’t call her bluff. Neither did he comment on the fact she’d kissed Jack’s cheek.
Why had she?
Because she’d needed to touch him? To remind herself that he was real? Or had that kiss been an attempt to calm him?
Then it hit her.
She was behaving as she would have with Neil.
No matter what had been going on, she’d pretend everything was fine to keep the peace, not make a scene, defuse his anger.
Startled at the realization, she lifted her gaze to Jack’s.
Happiness didn’t fill her. Neither did trust or a sense of safety.
Anger. That was what filled her.
Anger that he’d immediately revealed this new side and she’d immediately fallen into old habits.
She dropped her bags at her feet. “Actually, I did hear your conversation, but I don’t understand why you’re upset that I heard. Like you said, it meant nothing. Not to either one of us.” Okay, maybe that had been exaggerating the truth a bit, but it had sounded good. “At no point have I had any expectations that you wouldn’t be sneaking into women’s tents in the future, neither have I had any desire for you not to,” she added for good measure. “So what does it matter that I heard things I already knew and had no problem with?”
Jack’s jaw tightened.
Although he didn’t come right out and do so, Taylor would swear Duffy gave her a mental thumbs-up for her change in attitude. Jack, however, didn’t look so thrilled.
“We need to talk.”
She rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“Not here. Not where everyone can hear.”
She glanced around the mostly deserted campground. “I don’t think anyone is paying us the slightest attention.”
“I am.” Duffy spoke up, raising his drink to her. “I’m enjoying the entertainment.”
“You would,” Jack accused, throwing the man a butt out look.
“You just say that because you know I’m right,” the weather-beaten man accused.
“Right? About what?”
Duffy’s gaze flickered toward Taylor.
Rather than answer, Jack raked his fingers through his loose hair, then sighed. “Yeah, I guess you are.”
Taylor didn’t stick around, instead walked over to her car and put her purchases inside with a loss of the sunshine she’d felt when she’d bought the colorful sundress and scarf.
What Jack had said didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything. She’d already known she was just a fling. That was fine. That’s all he was, too.
What mattered was how upset he was with Duffy. How abrupt.
No one always smiled so it shouldn’t bother her that Jack was irate.
But it did.
Because old feelings had pitted in her stomach and ruined everything.
* * *
“I’m sorry.”
At Jack’s interruption, Taylor didn’t glance up from the book she was reading. Not long after she’d dropped her purchases off in her car, she’d grabbed her bag, a book, and had taken off until she’d found a semi-shady spot to while away the afternoon until it was time to report for her shift.
“For?”
“You know what for.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Tossing my words back at me?” He squatted down next to where she sat on a blanket on the far side of the event area. “I guess I deserve that.”
“You’re giving me more credit than I deserve.” She hadn’t even realized that’s what she’d done until he’d pointed it out.
“I’m not giving you nearly the credit you deserve,” he countered. “Last night was amazing.”
Trying not to let his words get to her, she nodded. “This morning not so much.”
“I am sorry you heard that.”
She shrugged. “Don’t be. We both know it’s true.” She took a deep breath, then continued. “And we are both okay that it’s true. I’m just another festival fling for you and you’re my post-divorce late rebound fling. We both got what we wanted and, like you said, it meant nothing.”
He sighed, then
gestured to her blanket. “Can I sit with you?”
Surprised that he’d asked, she nodded. “It’s not as if you aren’t going to see me in a few hours during our shift.”
“I needed to talk to you before then. To tell you I’m sorry.”
Her hands shook. She didn’t want him to notice so she set her book on the blanket, wrapped her arms around her legs, and clasped her hands together. “I don’t understand your need to apologize, because you just stated what we both already knew. But, fine, apology accepted.”
He let out a long sigh. “I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”
She didn’t understand. “What is there to ruin, Jack? Last night was amazing. We work tonight and leave in the morning. End of story.”
“I don’t want us to end this way.”
I don’t want us to end at all.
Her eyes widened in surprise at her unexpected thought. She’d known from the beginning they would end, that whatever happened was temporary.
She swallowed to moisten her dry throat.
“I’ve had a great time with you, Taylor. The best.”
She could feel her eyes starting to water and didn’t want to cry, didn’t even know why she was on the verge of doing so, just knew she did not want to let him see her cry. “Please, don’t do this.”
His brows formed a V.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Had her voice sounded a bit desperate? She’d been going for strong, independent, I don’t care, not pleading. She straightened her shoulders, tilted her chin, and willed her persona to be nonchalant. “Don’t pretend any of this was more than what it was.”
Next to her on the blanket, his body tensed and his eyes darkened. “What exactly is it you think we had, Taylor?”
“A romantic interlude that rebuilt my confidence in myself as a woman, in my sexuality. You gave me my post-divorce rebound sex. It was great. I’m very appreciative.”
His forehead creased. “Is that what last night was? You using me for sexual empowerment? That’s why you came in my tent?”
It wasn’t. Not really. But maybe it was better if he thought it had been since he seemed to take his knight in shining armor role a bit too seriously. She didn’t want him feeling responsible for her. She’d known exactly what she’d been doing and she’d had no expectations of him beyond that moment.
“Like I said, I’m good with what happened last night and with our saying goodbye tomorrow morning.” She was, wasn’t she? Of course she was. “Thank you.”
His jaw worked back and forth once, then, without looking her way, he said, “No, thank you. Too bad I had to restrain myself so much or I could have made your reintroduction to sex more memorable. Still, glad to be of service.”
On that note, he stood and walked away.
Taylor watched him go, wondering at the growing ache in her chest with every step he took, but patting herself on the back that she’d held herself together so Jack wouldn’t have to feel guilty.
* * *
The medical tent was hopping when Taylor arrived. She’d gone early, signed in and gotten that day’s T-shirt, and opted to walk there.
She’d needed the exercise to ease the soreness from her muscles and she’d needed the time to decompress before she started her shift with Jack.
Jack.
Sweet, wonderful Jack who felt responsible for what had happened the night before. She’d seen it in his eyes.
She’d given him an out and he’d taken it.
Because she’d been right.
All they’d ever been was a festival fling.
For that fling, she truly was thankful. Meeting Jack, being with Jack, having sex with Jack had healed so much of her lingering insecurities.
He’d made her feel desirable, worthy.
She was desirable, worthy.
She wasn’t cold. She wasn’t frigid. She wasn’t immune to men. She wasn’t dead inside.
She was passionate, hot, full of feminine fire.
She could enjoy her body, enjoy being a woman giving herself to a man.
Sex with Jack had unlocked a part of her that had been caged up during her marriage. Maybe it had always been caged up, waiting to be unleashed.
Regardless of the ache at how they’d ended, she would always be grateful to Jack for setting her passion free.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“SO, DID THE two of you hit it off?” Amy questioned Taylor over the phone.
It was late Monday afternoon and Taylor had only been home long enough to shower, unpack and take a short nap that had been cut short by another phone call. One that had made Taylor’s day.
“I asked Duffy how things were going a couple of times,” Amy continued, “but he never would give me a straight answer and neither you nor Jack, when I texted with him earlier, told me anything.”
Jack hadn’t told Amy anything that had happened.
“What did Duffy say?” she asked, her mind still wondering at Jack’s silence. They’d parted on good terms overall. He’d apologized a few dozen times about what she’d heard him tell Duffy and their goodbye had been a bit awkward. But Taylor had no regrets about their fling or their goodbye.
“I told you that he wouldn’t give me details beyond that everyone liked you and you seemed to be enjoying yourself.” Seeming to catch on, her friend redirected her questioning. “What could he have told me?” Amy asked with giddy emphasis.
Someday she would tell Amy all about her adventure with Jack. Today wasn’t that day. For now, what had happened between her and Jack was private, special and outside the ordinary.
For Taylor, he’d cut away the last of the weights that had held her down. She was ready to embrace her future.
“What Duffy should have told you is that he, Jack and I worked the tent together and I think they are both wonderful men.”
Very true. They were both wonderful men. Both modern-day gypsies of a sort. Both very special in their own ways.
“That’s it?” Disappointment coated her friend’s words.
Taylor could picture Amy’s expression. Her forehead would be scrunched with doubt. Again, she was grateful Amy couldn’t see her face as she might see more than Taylor wanted to reveal.
“If you’re asking if your matchmaking paid off,” she said, deciding to just address what Amy really wanted to know, “maybe Neil immunized me forever, especially from someone who’s also a doctor. You know how I feel about that.”
She felt guilty for deceiving her friend but when she and Amy were face to face she’d make sure Amy knew meeting Jack had been a good thing.
A great thing.
A spectacular and marvelous thing.
“Now, tell me about this guy you’re seeing?” Taylor injected a lot of pep into her tone. “Jack mentioned you were dating his best friend. Give me details.”
Amy’s giddiness was almost palpable over the phone. “Dating might be presumptuous, but Greg is amazing. I want to be dating him.”
“Jack seemed to think you two were an item already.”
“Good to know,” Amy admitted, sounding pleased. “But it’s early days, especially as Greg doesn’t live in Warrenville but about an hour away in Nashville. Long-distance relationships suck.”
Yet another reason it was good she and Jack had ended when they had. Trying to keep up a relationship when they lived hundreds of miles from each other wouldn’t have been any fun.
Not that they would have needed to have a long-distance relationship.
Taylor’s stomach did an excited flip-flop.
Not for however long Jack would be working at the Warrenville emergency department.
“Speaking of long-distance relationships, I miss you,” Amy told her. “How did your interview go?”
As thrilled as she was about the job in Warrenville, she was also a little nervous
.
Because of Jack.
What they’d shared had been perfect, right? A beautiful interlude that had ended a little prematurely but which had otherwise been something from a fantasy.
Coming face to face with him day after day in the real world would dissipate their surreal experience. Then again, how much longer would he even be there before moving on to some other music festival or event?
“Really well.” She’d barely hung up from the call when Amy’s call had come in. “They offered me a position in the emergency room.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me that first thing?”
“How could I? All you’ve talked about since we got on the phone is Jack.” Ugh. Her tone had been a bit harsher than she’d meant it to. She wasn’t anti-Jack by any means, but she did have reservations about being near him day after day.
“Sorry. I know I’ve gone on and on about Jack.” Amy sighed. “I really thought the two of you would hit it off.”
They’d hit it off all right. Like electric sparks that sizzled.
“Obviously I’ve talked about him to the point of ad nauseam. Sorry,” Amy apologized. “Forget Jack. I can’t wait until you get here! I’ll get the spare room cleaned out.”
Taylor was just as excited and wished she could pack her things and leave for Warrenville this very moment. Instead, she’d work out her notice first.
“It’s time you moved away from that town and memories of Neil,” Amy continued in a more serious tone. “He’s not worth holding onto, Taylor. Surely you’ve figured that out by now.”
“Memories of Neil could never hold me here.” If anything, they’d drive her away. “And I’m certainly not holding onto him. I fought hard to rid my life of him and can’t imagine circumstances where I’d ever let him or any man steal my joy.”
“You go, girl!” Amy praised. “Thank goodness you finally saw the light.”
Taylor nodded. She had, right? That’s why she’d let Jack walk away, let him think he hadn’t mattered, right? Not that he’d offered, but she’d not wanted more. Not really.
Sure, had she met Jack years ago, before Neil, it would have been fun to have spent more time with him. The sex had been phenomenal. But she’d not been thinking long-term relationship. Neither had he.