by Anne Conley
So she had to be doubly attentive to the investigation, not Dex. Period. She didn’t have time for him, for her own mishaps, or anything that would get IA on her ass.
When her phone pinged an incoming text message, Amber looked at the display and cringed.
Evan’s computer model predicted the zoo. Can you get anything about when it will be? We can talk about that tonight. Can’t wait. I’ve got a killer chicken parmesan recipe.
The zoo made perfect sense. Even without the Fibonacci aspect, she would like to think she could have guessed that location. After all, animal activists were forever targeting zoos for their treatment of animals saying that no matter how well you fed and doctored an animal, if it wasn’t in their natural habitat, it was cruel.
She latched onto that tidbit and looked up Fibonacci on her laptop to internalize the information, so when she was questioned about how she came to this conclusion, her bullshit would make sense.
Amber chose to ignore the part of the message about dinner. She would have to find a way to get out of that. She didn’t want to hurt Dex. He was really nice—if dishonest—most of the time, but she just couldn’t get involved.
Not right now.
Later, after work, Dex was at the grocery store buying the ingredients to make chicken parmesan. He also got a bottle of wine and some candles, intent on helping Amber relax after what had to be a hellish day. Three hours on the road, then back to the grindstone, where she no doubt had some explaining to do regarding her impromptu road trip.
He didn’t envy her, but he could do his best to make her night bright.
Dex had turned into a romantic fool and loved every minute of it as he waltzed around his kitchen, humming to himself. He hadn’t heard from Amber today and could only assume that meant things were hectic. He knew better than to be the clingy boyfriend. He knew the job.
When his phone pinged a text message, he flipped the screen, and his stomach tumbled.
Sorry. Can’t make tonight.
That was it. No offer for a raincheck, nothing. He wasn’t exactly expecting declarations of love, but the abrupt tone of the text message didn’t sit well.
Everything okay? You can call if you need to.
Taking his cues from her, he tried to convey thoughtfulness without too much emotion, even though he knew Eileen was behind the sudden turn of events.
Before he could set it down, his phone rang in his hands, and a sudden sense of rightness suffused him. She was calling back to lean on him and he would prop her up.
He answered with as sexy of a voice as he could muster, trying to purposely put that I-just-ate-lightbulbs-for-breakfast tone in his voice, but when the answering voice spoke, anger took over.
“You’re spending too much time with a whore.”
He looked at his phone, and blocked is what showed on the caller ID screen.
“Who is this?”
Laughter, and then the call was dropped. The voice was disguised, and Dex knew there were digital phone apps for that, and there was no way Evan could get anything that way. Although, he could get his phone to the guru and see what he dug up.
He couldn’t tell if the voice was male or female, nor could he tell a definite age. But it had sounded threatening, and it involved Amber.
He texted her right away.
Call me doll face. It’s an emergency. I need to hear your voice.
Nothing. She wasn’t texting back. Dex felt an inane desire to drive his ass over to the precinct to check on her, but he didn’t know for sure that’s where she was, and he was liable to get her into trouble if he did that.
He didn’t know where she lived. She had been careful with the information, like every damn aspect of her life, and he hadn’t pressed because he respected her privacy.
But someone knew they were seeing each other, and that was definitely a private aspect of Amber’s life. If the mysterious caller knew who he was, they certainly knew where she lived, and that put her in danger.
Evan’s promise to put everything on a drive and keep it for him rang in his brain. Evan would have the information.
Dex called him without a second thought.
“I need Amber’s information.”
A low chuckle met his ears. “I’ll send it to you. Give me a minute, then check your email.”
It took that long for Dex to set up his laptop. Clicking on the email Evan sent, Dex immediately got lost in the personal details of Amber’s life, feeling more and more guilt as he continued to read about her without her consent.
She had applied for the police academy after her parents were killed in a home invasion, from which she escaped by leaving from dinner at their house earlier than anticipated. She’d aced her tests, did well in the academy, and joined the force in her tiny town, intent on taking down every meth lab she could find in the rural area. Then she was assigned to Internal Affairs, where she worked for two and a half years before busting her boss, the chief of police, for running his own meth lab out of his girlfriend’s barn. He was married and had three kids of his own.
Dex could read between the lines. She was one of the cops who’d gone into the force for personal reasons, which there was nothing wrong with. He’d known some damn fine law enforcement officers who were only LEOs because something tragic had happened to someone they loved. Then, an opening must have come up at the IA desk, and Amber had gotten it, purely because she was probably the lowest man on the totem pole. Then, when she actually did her job and busted her boss, she’d been run out of town.
Sticky situation.
So who had called him, calling her a whore? That only left half the town. But how the fuck did they know? It wasn’t like what they had was public, or even established. He got her address from the file, slammed his laptop shut, and headed to her house. He felt sick, disgusted with himself for invading her privacy, but it couldn’t be helped. That’s what he told himself, even though there were tons of ways he could have gotten her address without looking at all that other stuff.
He felt like he’d violated her somehow, and it left a bad taste in his mouth.
He texted her one last time before he got out of the car.
I’m outside your house. Let me in.
When she came to the door, he smiled at the sight of her. She wore flannel pajamas under a huge fluffy robe. She looked mussed and sleepy, and he regretted waking her.
“I needed to check on you. You haven’t been answering me.”
“I’m sorry, Dex. It’s been a really long day. I just need some sleep.” A weird, growling rumble came from behind her, right before a giant fur ball raced out the open door with a triumphant meow.
“Salem?” He ignored her statement and tried to relate to her on some level. His chuckle was met with silence, though, so he took another tack. Dex took her in his arms and kissed her, but she was stiff and unresponsive. Puzzled, he backed off. “Okay. Drinks tomorrow night at Batons?”
She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. “We’ll see. Okay?”
“Look, I got a weird phone call about who I was seeing, I’m assuming that’s you. Everything okay?”
A shadow passed over her eyes, her jaw tightening in acknowledgement. She knew what was going on. Clearly, she wasn’t going to let Dex in on it. “Yeah. Everything’s fine. Don’t worry about that.”
“Nguyen didn’t give you too hard a time, did he?” Dex continued pressing her for information, needing her to let him inside—not necessarily her house but inside herself. He just wanted to help. He knew this was about Eileen but couldn’t bring himself to put that woman’s name into a conversation with Amber, choosing to let her bring it up. But apparently, that wasn’t going to happen tonight.
“No. Everything’s fine. Goodnight.”
He’d opened his mouth to talk about Eileen, but the warning in her eyes had him slamming his jaw shut. That’s what this was about, he had no doubt. She’d seen the text, and it had been incriminating, but he also knew neither one of them had gotten much sleep last night, and
he was feeling damn emotional about it all.
Dex was glad she was okay, he’d seen it with his own eyes, but he didn’t have a good feeling about anything as he drove himself home.
So she wanted to take a step back. He’d pushed too hard and too fast. He got it, but he didn’t have to like it. She was busy with the case.
There was a familiar burn in his gut.
And he’d learned a long time ago to trust that burn, which only meant one thing.
All was not right.
Chapter Fifteen
Dex was at the zoo as soon as it opened the next morning, looking for all he was worth like a single man enjoying his day, but he was ever-alert for danger. He had idea as to when the explosion would happen, but every clue pointed to this place. He knew Perkins had the weapon, it was just a matter of when he would use it.
He had already scoped out entry and exit points, as well as most likely explosion points. Most of the ones downtown had been in trashcans, with an easily accessible place to shoot from, so with that in mind, he looked around the zoo.
Dex moved with confidence and precision, having to remind himself he was supposed to be sightseeing but unable to keep his body from acting like the cop he’d been for years. Inside, though, was another story altogether. He was a nervous wreck.
He’d researched the previous bombings and was looking for trashcans. With the exception of the carport across the street from him, the majority of the explosions had occurred in receptacles in the open. At the zoo, they were for the most part out in the open and easily accessible from a variety of angles. He chose the ones with areas nearby one could hide with a rifle.
His mind whirled.
The rifle would need to be able to be broken down and put together quickly. All the people he saw were potential targets. Each time he saw a child walk up to a trashcan, his stomach heaved and his heart lurched while his eyes scanned the area for a barrel sticking out of foliage, or the reflection off a scope.
God, he felt sick to his stomach.
He couldn’t just wait for Perkins to make his move without going mad. Dex told himself to chill. He wasn’t a trigger-jumpy rookie. He was a professional, and he knew better than to freak out.
The increased police presence helped his frame of mind, at least. Clearly, Amber had gotten the word out, and there was a cop at the front gates going through bags, as well as uniforms in various places throughout the park, all being very visible as a deterrent.
It just worried him that Amber was here somewhere, too. That’s what his nerves were about, and he knew it. It was wrong; she was just as professional as he was and hadn’t shown an ounce of novice behavior. But he was still scared to death for her.
He hoped to God she’d been stuck back at the precinct with paperwork but knew that was unlikely. As a member of the task force, she was bringing in the leads that mattered and most likely had earned herself a spot where the action was.
As much faith as he had in her abilities as a cop, he still worried about her. It was a dangerous job, and this particular case had potential to be the most dangerous of all. There was no telling how big a bang Perkins intended for this last hoorah. Dex was convinced that’s what this was.
There were too many unknowns, though. Would Perkins stick with the same M.O.? And then the most important question of all, when would he do it? Dex fully expected it to be huge, a big show to get the attention the cops had tried to downplay thus far.
He knew the Austin PD wouldn’t want to incite a panic in the community. The fact the bombs had been set off by a high-powered rifle was held back from the public. The FBI was probably involved since they were domestic terrorist acts. But as a retired officer, he was out of the loop.
Dex again wondered what Amber was doing.
He was sitting at the big cat enclosure, watching the lions as they slept. Most people would find that boring, but not Dex. The power behind the lounging cat exuded dominance. The male didn’t sit with the females in the enclosure, but he could see them. He watched them, protecting his females with a primal attention.
The phone call from last night replayed itself in his mind. You’re spending too much time with a whore. The memory of the genderless voice sent a shiver up his spine, and he knew—on a personal level—this voice should worry him more than the domestic terrorist case Amber was working on. The phone call was an attack on her character. He’d done some research on the police chief she’d put away on her last job but hadn’t found anything concrete. All he found was a town in an upheaval over her investigation, half not believing her and condemning her accusations. The other half was split between supporting her and not caring either way.
No wonder she’d left.
As if magnetized, Dex found his gaze drawn to his right. Amber was dressed like everyone else in plain clothes—jeans and a button-down shirt—casually sightseeing at the zoo. Mindlessly, he stood and stalked over to where she was watching the lions. She hadn’t noticed him yet, and he tried to attribute that to the intense power of the lions and not her own distraction.
She stiffened when he put his arms around her and kissed her neck from behind. She spun in his arms, and he used the opportunity to kiss her fully on the lips.
She stiffened even more, if that were possible, pushing back on him gently. He didn’t let go of her waist but did take a step back after breaking the kiss she wasn’t responding to.
“Dex, we can’t.” Her eyes were darting all around him, never meeting his eyes.
“I missed you,” he said, searching her face for answers to her true intentions. He wanted her to say it back but was feeling too needy, too vulnerable. Then he saw it written all over her face—regret.
“I can’t do this with you,” she whispered, but she didn’t need to. Amber might as well have yelled it for the entire zoo to hear because it still broke his heart into a zillion pieces.
Dex hands dropped to his sides, anger filling him, but he held it in check. “Can’t do what, exactly?”
She twisted her fingers together, knitting them into an intricate mess of joints.
“I won’t do a physical thing. I’m better than that.” That last part was spoken like an afterthought, something she didn’t really mean but said anyway. Her jaw jutted forward, and she glared at him as if she were daring him to tell her differently.
He put his hands on his hips, studying her. The fire in her eyes made him want her more, but her words cut straight through the lust and dampened everything.
“What happened? Do you have a boyfriend? Is it Eileen? The guy who called me?” Since that’s what he had just been thinking about, it came out before he realized he was voicing the question.
“What guy?” Her eyes questioned him, but she dismissed the question with a huff. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.” Not addressing the Eileen thing might as well have broadcast it for the world to hear. “I just don’t have time for this. This is too important. I practically had to throw a hissy fit to be here today, and I won’t screw it up because of hormones. And I refuse to be a side piece who gets her emotions involved where they shouldn’t be.” Her hands were waving wildly, and Dex grabbed them, holding them to her side as he leaned down into her face.
“I know exactly how important your damn job is, and if anyone, I can work around it. I’ve been there, remember? I’m probably the only guy you can date who won’t get pissed off about the late nights and the danger involved every time you strap that belt on. And as for the side piece bit, what the fuck are you talking about? Eileen? She’s ancient history, just hasn’t gotten the picture.” He knew this shit with Eileen would come back and bite him in the ass. If only he could just get Amber to see inside his brain, she would see Eileen was nobody. But now wasn’t the time to go into specifics, and she clearly wasn’t listening.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear the excuses. They don’t matter.” She swallowed, and he felt the bile she pushed down rise in his own throat. “It was just sex. I let the lines get blurry. That’s
on me.”
Her words hurt. Damn bad. Dex recognized the self-protective words, her desire to put her walls back up for him to scale again. He wanted to help her, to be there for her, to help pick up the pieces when something happened. For fuck’s sake, he loved her, but he wasn’t going to say those words right now. That would be manipulative in some metaphysical, psychobabble way he didn’t quite understand. But he knew now wasn’t the time to confess his feelings.
What the hell had he gotten himself into? “It’s not just sex for me.”
“Dex, I just can’t. Please, can you respect that?” she pleaded with him, her eyes wide and glassy, even with the fire seeping through.
Dex wondered if she were protecting him somehow by blowing off the mysterious caller, and that thought terrified him. Was she putting herself in danger to keep him safe from someone from her past? That was a question he would ponder the rest of the day, he was sure.
He raked his hands through his hair and grumbled, needing to punch his fist through something hard. Feel some pain. Now he understood why Quinten fought and retained his normalcy.
“Okay. But understand one thing, Amber.” He tried not to sound disgusted at the idea they were using each other. “Eileen and I have been over for a long time, but I’m not done with you. While you’re doing your job, I’ll be here, and when you’re ready for me, I’ll be here. This isn’t finished.”
He stalked off having little satisfaction in the fact he’d had the last word, hearing monkeys screeching in the distance and children laughing at his elbow. The scents of animals and garbage would forever be imprinted in this memory of Amber. How fitting; this was indeed a load of fucking garbage.
She lied to him. Herself.
Lies. Excuses. Walls.
Amber felt like a kitten after its first-ever bath. The kitten would have fewer fleas, but the entire experience would be uncomfortable and take away their independence. That’s exactly how Amber felt, minus the fleas part. The sex with Dex had been great, but she felt like she’d given away something important to him. It had felt amazing, but the next afternoon—back at work in the light of day—it all seemed like a huge mistake.