by Anne Conley
Amber found Dex in her kitchen making sandwiches and tea. He’d belted the robe back in front of him, and the mixed emotions at seeing him in her robe that didn’t cover much made her wish he was dressed. Or totally naked. No. That had gotten her into this fix in the first place. Rolling her eyes at her own thoughts, she put her hands on her hips and just watched him.
“You didn’t have much food, but you have a ton of tea, so I made it. Want some?” Dex was setting plated sandwiches on the table before going back to her stove and pouring hot water from the teapot over tea bags in two mugs.
“Yeah. Thanks.” She lowered herself into a chair at the table and gratefully wrapped her hands around the mug in an effort to warm her cold, dark soul. She looked at the sandwich but didn’t really see it. “We didn’t use a condom, Dex.” The tears she had shed in the shower came bubbling back to the surface, but she ignored them, choosing to watch the man in front of her for any reaction.
His sandwich stopped halfway to his mouth as the piercing blue of his eyes snapped to hers with dawning realization. Dex set the sandwich gingerly on his plate without taking a bite and watched her. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but his throat worked with a swallow, and his lips moved as he rubbed his tongue over his teeth in thought.
“Okay. I’m taking it that’s a bad thing?” His guilelessness and naiveté hit her like a punch in the gut, and a disbelieving laugh bubbled up in her throat.
“Dex, I don’t even know you. I have no idea what you want out of this.” She waved her hands back and forth between them. She was lying. She knew Dex better than a lot of people, and she hadn’t even known him that long. But the truth was, she didn’t know how to deal with the situation. “I had a plan, and a baby would change everything. You were never a part of my plan. This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this, Dex.”
Now she could tell exactly what he was thinking. The hurt on his face at her words was unmistakable. His eyes widened as he licked his lips, readying himself for a retort, but the sharp words she was expecting never came. Instead, he simply whispered, “I want everything with you, Amber.” His frankness was a sucker punch.
“What?”
He didn’t answer. Dex went back to his sandwich as if the bombshell hadn’t just potentially ripped his world apart. Chewing slowly, he watched her as she gaped at him.
“Eat. Let me talk for a minute,” he said around the remnants of his mouthful.
She took a bite, the lunchmeat like gravel in her throat. So she washed it down with tea.
He stared straight through her as he spoke. “I really thought I had made this clear, but apparently not, so let me say it again. I want you. Whatever that entails. I’m sorry about the condom, really, I am. That’s something that should have been discussed beforehand, at length. But I let things get out of hand, which is what happens with you. That’s how I know we have a connection I want to explore. And it’s not just the sex, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He took another bite, chewing slowly, making a gesture for her to do the same. When he had swallowed, he continued, still at ease in the stupid, tiny robe he wore. “I’m not going to tell you I love you again because I think it probably freaked you out the first time. I’ve never felt like this with any woman, Amber. If we get pregnant from this, then I will stay by you, in whatever capacity you want. I will not abandon you, pregnant or not. That’s not my style. I want it all with you, and if all means a family, I would be more than happy to be a dad. If it’s not a family, then I would be happy to just be your man. Now, let’s eat and have a discussion about things, instead of going off half-cocked and saying hurtful stuff.” He took another bite, which pretty much decimated the sandwich, and chewed as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed.
Amber managed to choke down half her sandwich while she thought about what he’d said. And how he’d said it. He sounded like he meant everything; even with her best investigative skills she couldn’t find a lie in there. That meant he at least didn’t think he was lying.
“What was your plan?” He pulled his cup into his massive hands. “And how exactly do I not fit into it?”
His question wasn’t asked in anger, simply curiosity, and she longed to make him understand.
“My plan was to start over at being the best possible law-enforcement officer I could be. I left a shitty situation and wanted a fresh start. I can’t do that while trying to cater to someone else’s needs in a relationship.”
And now the choice had been taken away from her. If she were pregnant, Dex would be a fixed integer in the equation. There would be no avoiding him … ever. And how big of a part of the baby’s life would he be? Would he insist on cohabitation? Or could they do joint custody?
She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts that came so speedily into her brain before she could filter them. It had just happened. Couldn’t she pretend for a little while longer?
Pretend what, though?
Looking back up at Dex, Amber wondered what they could be like if the baby were taken out of the equation.
So, for the sake of argument, she wasn’t pregnant, and Dex was still here. Would she be happy? His dark hair had dried in a tousled mess on his head, his eyes bored into her patiently, waiting for her to come to a close and clue him in. His taut muscles were relaxed in her kitchen chair, elbows resting on the table, head settled into his hands, one arm still slinged, as he watched her patiently.
Dex had been patient with her from the beginning. He had made his moves, taken his hits from her, and then come back for more. And she’d shot him down every step of the way.
Amber was scared. She was terrified she wouldn’t be enough for him. She wouldn’t be enough for the Austin Police Department. She wouldn’t be enough for herself.
Whoa …
Okay, so none of this was Dex’s fault, and she’d been blaming him the entire time.
She released a pent-up breath and shook her head. She had a lot of work to do, but at least now she knew what to work on.
Herself.
Dex reached across the table and grabbed her hand, clutching it tightly. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, Amber. Whatever you need me to be, I’ll be that for you. Just let me.” His smile faded into earnestness. “Please?”
She chewed on her lip as she thought about what he’d said. “How would you feel about being a dad?”
The smile returned. “Like I’d been given the best gift in the world. A gorgeous woman to love and a baby to raise. What more can a man ask for?”
Amber had no words for that. Absolutely none. A glance out the window told her this day was finally over; it had been one of the longest days of her life. Between going for a soul-searching walk, to finding Dex, to finding a bad guy, to losing said bad guy, the sex, and all the emotions that accompanied it, she was exhausted. It had been a roller coaster, and she was mentally done.
“Can we table the discussion for another time? You’ve talked me off a ledge, and I appreciate it.” The adrenaline of the day had crashed her system, and her fingers were starting to tremble.
Dex’s face melted and he stood, scooping her out of her chair and lifting her into his arms. “What the hell are you doing?”
He chuckled into her hair before laying a soft kiss there. “I’m taking you to bed. We need some sleep.”
That sounded so good. It was amazing how at home he’d made himself. As he lowered her onto her bed, Amber couldn’t help but snuggle into her blankets and pillows. The dip of the bed told her he was lowering himself next to her, and when he pulled her into his arms, she felt his nudity. He’d taken off the robe, and she didn’t mind at all. But when he simply kissed her forehead and told her sweet dreams, she found she didn’t mind that, either. Amber went to sleep with thoughts of Dex and babies and home, feeling unbelievably safe in his arms wrapped tightly around her.
Chapter Twenty-two
Dex didn’t go to sleep for a long time, listening to Amber’s even breaths as she slumbered. But in
the foreign bed that smelled exactly like Amber, his mind wouldn’t shut off.
He had long foregone the idea of having babies and a family. At over forty years old, Dex didn’t think he’d have it in him to start from scratch. But the idea of Amber carrying his child gave him a profound sense of depth in his life and he didn’t want to let go of it.
He tried to think of his first wife and all the precautions they’d taken to keep her from getting pregnant. Dex remembered the sheer panic at the idea they might get pregnant. It was a recurring theme in the back of his mind every time they’d had sex—his counting of her birth control pills to make sure she was on schedule with taking them, the utter relief that flowed through his veins every month when her period came.
But this was different. As Amber shifted in her sleep, she made the cutest little sighing whimper as she snuggled deeper into his embrace, and Dex tightened his arms around her. He knew he would do anything for her, and it would be a pleasure to serve her and make her happy. Throw a baby into the mix, and his heart was swelling at the idea of Amber making a tiny human inside her that was half of each of them. Sharing that with her didn’t induce a panic or fear or anything. It just felt right.
A couple of hours later, her limbs were still entwined with his. He was awoken to her climbing on top of him, and his grip went to her waist as he watched her sleepily. Her hot little mouth left kisses all along his neck as she reached for something out of her bedside drawer.
A condom.
He ignored the emotions that were two-fold at the gesture and went with it. She was instigating this, and he wasn’t going to start questioning her. Wordless, she rubbed against him, licking his nipples, making his hardening cock twitch in the sweet juncture of her thighs as she rolled the condom on him.
Dex lay helpless as Amber made herself at home on top of him, sliding him inside herself with a low moan, her slick heat enveloping him in bliss. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her as she slid over his skin, continuing to kiss and suckle his neck as she moved.
It was slow and quiet. Not at all like any of their previous love-making. This wasn’t the feral lust that had spurred all the other sex between them. Amber was moving with an intentionality that spoke volumes. And still, Dex felt himself rise closer and closer to the climax Amber was seeking.
He held back, as Amber seemed to need this control. When her eyes finally met his, he saw the acceptance in them, the words she was speaking without actually speaking them. She wanted this. With him.
That realization nearly undid him. He needed to show her she wasn’t alone in this, that he would do whatever it took to make her happy. Even if it was giving up control.
So he let her soft warmth take over until she finally came with a ragged, whimpering moan that incited his own climax. She had fallen over him limp, so he gripped her hips and pumped himself up into her, his hitched breath the only sound of their silent joining.
After disposing of the condom, he came back to bed and held her as she slept, intent on his own shut-eye.
When sunlight streamed in behind his eyes, Dex yawned himself awake and looked at the gorgeous creature beside him. He yearned to stay by her side and protect her forever but knew her independence would scoff at that idea. Instead, he kissed her forehead and rolled out of bed. He left the tiny robe he’d been wearing on the chair where he’d left it and wandered into the laundry room for his clothes he’d dried yesterday.
He made coffee and went outside to see if she had a newspaper to collect. He was curious to see what was said about Perkins, if anything. It was a chilly morning but not frosty, so he ambled out in his t-shirt and jeans. Finding a paper at the end of the driveway, Dex made plans to wake Amber with waffles and tea, wondering where she might keep a tray to set everything on.
His shoulder ached but not badly. He was honestly surprised at his range of motion and lack of serious pain, but the pain pills were good, and he would take them because he had sense. In fact, he was due for another one.
But the words scrawled across her front door stopped him in his tracks, his blood running cold. The words “home-wrecker” “whore” “bitch” and something illegible had him making double-time back to his girl.
“Amber? Wake up. You need to see this.” He hated to wake her, but an insane urge to pummel whoever was harassing her had him prodding her out of bed instead of making love to her again.
When she had her robe wrapped around her, he ushered her outside to her porch. She looked at the door, blinking sleepily.
“Goddammit. She’s gone too far.” Her words found traction as they climbed out of the muddle of sleep.
Dex was trying to rein in his anger, but it sounded futile. “Who? Who’s doing this, Amber?”
“Haley Wilks.” She walked inside, a renewed purpose in her step.
“Who’s Haley Wilks?” Dex was a little lost, ready to hunt down Perkins and kill the fucker, but he had no clue who Haley Wilks was and didn’t know how to deal with that. The name was familiar, but he was too pissed to place it. Whoever had painted that shit on her door had very clearly threatened the possible mother of his child, and his emotions were all over the place right now.
Her phone was ringing when they got inside, and Amber let out a sigh as she picked it up. “Banks,” she said shortly as she picked up her cup of tea, mouthed thank you to Dex, and made her way into the bedroom. Dex followed like a puppy whose bowl of food had just been prepared but his owner had absently walked away with it. Her cat was chewing loudly on food that had been dumped into a bowl by an automatic feeder. Dex ignored it as he walked out of the kitchen. He needed to know who Haley was, and Amber was listening to whoever was on the phone, suddenly professional.
He could see her wheels turning as she spun around and looked him up and down with a critical eye. When whoever she was on the phone with stopped talking, she answered with, “I’ll be in this afternoon, but I have something personal to do first. See you then.” Amber hung up and looked at Dex. “They found Perkins’ body downriver from where he went in. His campsite is pretty blatant about his guilt, Tannerite still in packages with receipts and stuff. Including a day planner with his targets and dates. The name and number of the other guys in Dallas are in there, too. How fucking easy is that?” She rolled her eyes before looking him up and down, a twinkle lighting her eyes. Dex would freely admit the twinkle turned him on. “You still have your uniform? I need to do a face-to-face. You can meet Haley for yourself.”
He grinned.
Chapter Twenty-three
Dex in his police uniform was a sight to behold. Amber had to swallow the slobber pooling in her mouth when he emerged from his bedroom, fully dressed, complete with tactical boots and a fully laden belt. He slipped his handcuffs in with a wink tossed at her, and she took a step back so she didn’t launch herself at him.
They’d come over to his place for him to get dressed, and he hadn’t asked any questions. She would fill him in on the way to the university, but now, she just wanted to enjoy the view.
Because, holy crap, this man was stunning. He was foregoing the sling for the sake of appearance, and holy hell the effect was fucking stunning. Clearly, he hadn’t worn the uniform in a few years, if the fit of it was anything to go by. The short sleeves clung to his biceps almost as if they were cutting off circulation, but the biceps were steely pillars of flesh that led to corded forearms attached to capable hands. Still checking his belt, his fingers flitted over leather and clasps and snaps.
Oh my.
His legs filled out his pants in much the same way, his powerful thighs stretching the seams while his gut and butt were looser in the fabric. His shirt—tucked into pants cinched tightly to his lean waist—was practically popping buttons across his massive chest.
“Been working out since you last wore that?” She was joking, but it was clear he had. His blush told the rest of the story.
Dex reached over to a shelf and pulled down a frame. Tucked into the back of it was a p
icture of a much different Dex. His weight hadn’t changed much, probably, but it was distributed differently—centered around his gut and ass—giving him a decidedly pear shape. His face was puffy and blotchy, and he wore a grim expression she’d seen a lot, but Amber preferred his smile.
“This is me a couple of years ago, before I realized what I was doing to my body.” He shrugged. “I’m not a vain man, but I looked in the mirror one day and really didn’t like it, so I started getting more active.”
His nonchalance was endearing, and she smiled at him.
“You not going to wear your sling?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “It sort of takes away from the authority of the outfit, doesn’t it? I’ll put it back on after, as long as we don’t have to do a physical takedown or anything.”
“It shouldn’t get that far,” she muttered as she looked around the space.
His living room was basic—pretty normal for cops, she supposed. He didn’t spend much time at home when he was on the force, especially if he was any good at his job, so the living room had a sofa with a sunken spot on one end she could totally picture him lounging in while he watched TV after a shift. There were no throw pillows. Everything looked old and worn and comfortable, in muted colors. The coffee table was strewn with copies of Men’s Health and one book of photos: People of Austin. She thumbed through it absently while Dex continued his puttering around.
His house was comfortable, just like him, but she longed to see his bedroom. Amber knew there was an ulterior purpose for that, and if she went in there, she’d be playing with his cuffs and they wouldn’t get this done.
“So we’re headed to the university to put the fear of God into an undergrad. You up for it?”
“Why not just arrest her for vandalism and threats?”
“Because I arrested her dad for manufacturing meth in his girlfriend’s barn. She blames me for the breakup of the marriage. She’s a kid, and I’d like for her to have a chance at a life outside of Serendipity if she wants it. If it continues, I’ll press charges, but I’d really like for it not to get that far. Just follow my lead.”