Avery bit her tongue.
“I never really thought about a bucket list; I’ve been content with my life. But, if there’s one thing that I’d love to do again…I’d love to relive that night.” She tapped the picture gently, then lifted her head. This time her eyes looked tired and older than the mid-fifties age that she must be. Cancer had a way of stealing a person’s youth, along with their joy. “Do you think…” Her voice trailed off.
Avery’s heart twisted. She wasn’t here to be a do-gooder. She wasn’t even here to help a neighbor in need, although she might have started out with that in mind. She was here today to put up Mrs. Franks’ Christmas decorations because she had come to admire and respect her, and she wanted to ease her burden and give her a reason to smile.
That had to be why, even though she knew the barn was slated for demolition, she opened her mouth and said, “I bet Fink and Ellie would let us have a Christmas party there this year. In fact, I’m sure they would.”
Mrs. Franks beamed.
Avery reached over and sorted through the pictures. “I can decorate for it. Do we have more pictures to give me a better idea?” She could make the decorations match exactly if she had good enough pictures.
Mrs. Franks almost seemed to bounce in her chair. “I have a ton of pictures in boxes in the attic. I’ll have to have Gator bring them down for me.”
Avery’s stomach grated like an out of tune orchestra. She’d promised something she had no hope of delivering. Mrs. Franks might actually get sicker because of the disappointment if Avery couldn’t convince Fink and Ellie. Quite possibly Avery had set in motion what could be her final disappointment.
She had to look on the bright side. It could work out. It wouldn’t be a money-making proposition for anyone, but maybe she could frame it in such a way that it would appeal to Fink and Ellie’s compassionate nature. They both helped and volunteered in the community and were always open for ways to give back. Just this week they were donating the Christmas trees for the town Christmas festival.
They had said the barn was too expensive to insure. They would need insurance to do the party.
She thought about the money that she had been saving to buy a better tuba. She’d wanted to buy it before she went to audition in Washington D.C. on the fifteenth of December, and she had all but a couple hundred dollars in her savings account. There might be enough money there to take out an insurance policy for a one-night party.
“Did you hear me, honey?” Mrs. Franks asked.
“Um, no?” She’d been way too deep in her thoughts. She’d not even realized that Mrs. Franks had spoken. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said parties like this one are a lot of work.” Mrs. Franks put a hand on her shoulder. “I can’t ask you to put that kind of time into a frivolous thing just to make me happy. It’s a nice idea, but let’s let it rest.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. And I love planning and decorating. I want to recreate the decorations and the menu and the music. Well, maybe not the music. Was it ’80s rock?”
Mrs. Franks chuckled. “It was all Christmas music performed by the school orchestra. In fact, if I recall correctly, that was their concert venue that year because the auditorium was closed since they were removing the asbestos tiles from the ceiling.”
“I might not be able to recreate a school building renovation to cause the auditorium to be closed.”
“That’s okay. They had a set of twins who went on to play professionally and they sounded much better than most school orchestras, or so I’m told. You’re the music expert.”
Immediately, Avery wondered if the twins that had gone on to play professionally were the Humphry twins from the Philadelphia Waterfront Orchestra that she’d played with. They were the right age. She made a mental note to call them. They weren’t exactly close friends, but she had a good professional relationship with them. As good as a brass player could have with someone from the string section, anyway.
“We’ll figure something out.” Avery nodded decisively. She’d thought that a new tuba with better resonation might give her a slight edge when she auditioned, but right now, she’d rather spend her money on insurance so Mrs. Franks could have her party than on a new tuba that probably wouldn’t make any difference in her sound. After all, she got the position at the Philadelphia Waterfront Orchestra with her old tuba. She was kind of attached to it anyway and hadn’t relished the idea of setting it aside for a new instrument. Felt too much like the way her dad had set aside his wife and daughter for a new, younger wife. Whether or not he had children with that woman, she couldn’t say. She hadn’t talked to him since he walked out when she was ten. The last thing he’d said to her was, “Why don’t you put all that hot air to good use and learn to play an instrument?”
So she did. Take that, Dad.
“I’ll talk to Ellie and Fink, and if they’ll let me, I’ll be back to get all the details. But I don’t want to tire you out.”
“Planning a party is fun.” Mrs. Franks smiled as she said it, but Avery recognized the droop of her shoulders and the tightened lines around her mouth. There had been a lot going on for Mrs. Franks today with the decorations and now the party talk. Obviously, it had worn her out.
“Do you feel well enough to eat the chicken rice soup I brought? I’ll warm it up.”
“That would be wonderful.”
“How about I help you onto the couch?”
They had walked back down the hall and reached the living room doorway when the door opened, and Gator stood outlined in the light from the Christmas lights.
Chapter Four
The dog-hater was standing with his mother.
Gator ground his teeth together. Just because she didn’t like Gladys and Finch didn’t mean that she wasn’t good with anyone. Still, it annoyed him that she was here with his mom. Or maybe he was angry at himself because the sight of her had made his heart skip and the dark cloud that seemed to be following him lift.
“Hi, Gator. I wasn’t expecting you so early.” His mother sounded weak and tired. Fear caused his irritation to hitch up another notch.
His eyes snapped to the little blond. “You should know better than to have her outside working in her condition. She’s exhausted. You need to know when to quit.”
It was an unfair attack. Guilt choked Gator’s throat. Avery’s eyes opened wide as she eased his mother down on the couch. He hadn’t considered decorating the house or yard for Christmas, but when he saw it, he knew someone had made the effort just to make his mother smile. It should have been him. He should have thought of it. He should have been here helping her all fall.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m more angry at myself. But she is tired.” There. He’d seemed to get really good at apologizing for stuff he couldn’t even say he’d done, and it still hadn’t kept his ex happy. He had vowed to never apologize to a woman again. Still, it didn’t take a brain surgeon to see that in this case, he needed to.
Avery squatted down at the foot of the couch and gently slipped off his mother’s shoes. “It’s okay. You’re right. We were talking and I got excited about something and we should have stopped a long time ago.”
His mom waved a hand. “Stop it, Gator. I like the company.”
“You’ve tired yourself out.” He grabbed the folded comforter from the back of the couch.
“Just because I have cancer doesn’t mean that I’m not an adult that has been making her own decisions since before you were born. And I can continue to do so.” His mother smiled to soften her words. “I was having fun. I think Avery was too.”
Her last statement sounded uncertain and her eyes cut to Avery who had set the shoes aside and carefully placed his mother’s feet on the couch. Gator’s heart ached, and he thought of the ugly snowman in the hall. He opened his mouth to reassure his mother that she was still beautiful on the inside.
But Avery was already talking. “I was. I love looking at the old pictures and drea
ming about other places and times. But Gator’s right. We should have stopped before you were too tired to stand. You can’t fight the cancer if your body is exhausted by doing things, even if they are fun.”
As she spoke, she tucked the blanket in around his mom’s feet. “Now, you’d better not say that I’ve worn you out too much and you’re not hungry, or your scary-looking son might forget about feeding me to his dogs and eat me himself.”
Gator pursed his lips to keep from grinning.
“I’ll eat,” his mother said, not bothering to hide her grin.
“That’s what I want to hear. I’ll go warm up that bowl of chicken rice soup.” Avery walked out, not looking at him. Why would she? He’d basically yelled at her and insulted her, while all the time, it was obvious she cared from the careful way she handled his mother and spoke to her.
He waited until he heard sounds from the kitchen before he opened his mouth to voice the thought that was uppermost on his mind. “Isn’t this what home nursing is supposed to do? Feed you. Help you up and around? What is she doing here?”
His mother’s eyes stayed shut, but her chest compressed like she was letting out a long sigh. “Home nursing does a great job. And I loved Laura, my nurse this fall. But since she quit, the other nurses…they’re very professional, and I’m not complaining, but they don’t…” Her mouth trembled. Gator knelt and took her hand. “They don’t love me. I’m just a job to them.”
“And this Avery does?” He regretted the question as soon as it left his lips. “Never mind. Did you consider that maybe she’s expecting you to die and thinks you’ll sign the house and ground over to her?”
“Gator!”
“Mom, I don’t know this person, and you really don’t either. People do this kind of thing all the time. They prey on folks that are too old or sick to think straight.” He didn’t actually believe this of Avery, but once he’d started on the subject, it seemed like a good idea to continue. His mother didn’t actually own the house—when his grandfather died, leaving it to her, she had signed it over to him, saying that it was rightfully his since she wasn’t actually a “real” part of the family. In return, he had said that as long as she was alive, it was her house to live in.
“Gator, I raised you better.” His mother still didn’t open her eyes or raise her voice, but her words cut him, just the same. Because they were true.
“I’m sorry.” He seemed to be unable to open his mouth today without saying something he needed to apologize for. “I feel guilty because she’s doing the things that I should have thought of doing.”
His mother draped an arm across her eyes like she had a headache. But her mouth ticked up some. “You’re a man. I would be weirded out if you suggested decorating.”
“Weirded out?”
“People say that on TV all the time. Why can’t I?”
“Because you’re my mom and my mom doesn’t talk like that.” And his mom wasn’t bald and didn’t have cancer and had always looked young and healthy. He couldn’t stand it if her personality changed too.
As though she could read his thoughts, she patted his hand. “How was your trip?”
“It was great. I got the things I needed out of my apartment, and my boss said I could take as much time off as I needed to.” He didn’t add that he wouldn’t be paying any more rent on his apartment, so everything he left was gone for good. And, he could take as much time off as he wanted. Without pay.
“That’s wonderful. But really, you don’t need to stay here with me. An occasional visit is fine and if you can’t swing that, we can talk on the phone.”
Before he could answer, Avery walked in carrying a bowl on a tray. “Here’s your soup, Mrs. Franks.” A glass and some pills along with silverware and a napkin were arranged beside a vase with one happy yellow rose. Maybe it was just a grocery store flower, but his mother’s eye caught on its cheerful color and it made her smile.
Gator stared at the flower. Everything Avery did made him feel inadequate. His mother loved the flower. Just as she loved the knick knacks and the yard decorations. Why couldn’t he think to do something that would make her smile?
Paying the deductibles and copays that lay stacked on her desk an inch thick ought to do it. The sooner he could get that old barn torn down, the sooner he could make his mother smile. Ease some of the worry lines from her forehead.
Avery set the tray down on the coffee table. “Can we prop some pillows behind you?”
Gator stood and took the pillows that Avery held. When she didn’t let go, he looked down. Her eyes cracked like flint and her mouth didn’t move when she gritted out, “I’d like to talk to you. Alone.”
His heart beat faster. Drat the stupid thing.
Turning back to his mom, he said, “This soup’s a little hot, and Avery has something in the kitchen she needs me to see.”
His mother nodded slowly, not opening her eyes. “I’ve been telling you for days that the light over the stove needs fixed.”
“Avery needs to show me.” He didn’t wait for his mother’s answer, and stepped away from the couch. He didn’t touch Avery as he brushed by her, but for some reason he couldn’t explain, he grabbed her hand. He tugged on her hand and she moved to follow him, not speaking. Not pulling away, either.
When they got to the kitchen, he was so focused on how he could unobtrusively keep holding her hand, that he had forgotten she was angry. He turned to face her, freezing at the look on her face.
“If you honestly think that I’m here to take your mother’s house or money or anything else that is your mother’s, I want to tell you now—”
“I don’t.”
A few more words came out of her mouth before his two penetrated. Her mouth stopped, open half-way. Her brows lifted. She took in a deep breath, then exhaled.
There was only a short distance between them, a few inches separating their bodies, and the air around them seemed to settle as the charge dissipated.
“That’s not what you said,” Avery breathed out. Just as quiet, but these words were without heat.
“I know. I’m stupid sometimes.”
Wrinkles appeared in her forehead and her lips pursed.
He took the offensive. “Mom doesn’t even own the house. I do.”
“I don’t care.”
“I know.”
“So, you…don’t want your mother to like or trust me?”
“I told you. I’m stupid sometimes. I want to protect her when I’m not around and it seemed like a good idea, since I was on the subject anyway, that I warn her about strangers taking advantage. I knew as I was saying it that you weren’t a threat.”
“How did you know?”
“I saw the way you handled her. I saw you waving your overgrown trumpet around. You climb light poles for fun.”
“I most certainly do not.” Her hand twitched in his and he realized that he hadn’t ever let go. He’d be darned if he was going to now. It felt way too good in his. There was no harm in holding someone’s hand.
“Fink and Ellie wouldn’t trust you if you weren’t trustworthy. Honestly, I look at everything you’ve done to make her smile, and I realize that I should be doing those things.”
Avery’s expression had changed. Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. “I really like your mom. She’s like the mom I wish I had. Not that my mom wasn’t a good mom. She did her best. But Mrs. Franks is so…nurturing. I know it’s good to help people, and I enjoy doing that for the sake of being a good person, but I’m here with your mom because I truly enjoy her company.”
Her lips formed and “O” before she yanked her hand out of his. “But maybe you could help her with her soup? I really need to go.” And, without waiting for an answer, she turned and was down the hall and through the front door so fast, Gator actually looked behind him to make sure the stove wasn’t on fire. He had no idea what caused her to fly away. But his hand felt warm and it tingled along with his heart as he stood in the kitchen with a bemused smile on h
is face.
Chapter Five
What had she done?
Avery blew into her tuba, not even thinking about the music as she hammered out the bass line of the Tuba Polka. She’d memorized it years ago and didn’t have to give the notes a thought. Which was good because she was so busy castigating herself for holding a married man’s hand.
She hated cheaters. Those people who made promises that meant less than broken glass and rotten fish. People like her dad. Someone younger. Someone prettier. Someone who didn’t have a loud, obnoxious daughter who never stopped talking.
Then that loud, obnoxious daughter grows up and manages to find a man exactly like her dad, dates him, and almost marries him. Would have married him if the guy had waited to cheat on her until after the second ring was on her finger.
Now, she was just like them. Those women.
“Maybe you’re being a little dramatic.”
Avery jerked her head up at Jillian’s voice. She hadn’t even realized that she’d come to the end of the music. She lowered her tuba away from her mouth and looked across the old barn floor as Jillian closed the wooden door behind her.
“Dramatic?” Had Jillian found out? How? She hadn’t breathed a word. Surely, Gator wouldn’t have…
“You told Ellie that having this Christmas party could save a neighbor’s life.” Jillian gracefully jumped up on the knee-railing that divided the barn floor in half.
Relief made her exhale deeply. So, maybe that was a little dramatic. “Research has shown that a positive attitude is invaluable in overcoming a sickness like cancer. You have no idea how much this will cheer her up. If we get it right.”
“Dog owners are more likely to survive cancer than cat owners.” Jillian did a perfect backbend on the knee-wall.
“You made that up.” Avery set her tuba down in its case. She pressed the mouthpiece into its velvet holder.
“If anyone ever does a study on it, that’s what they’ll find.”
If anyone did a study on girls whose fathers cheated on their mothers, what would they find? Was she messed up in a conventional way, or was she abnormal all the way around? Because normal women did not go around holding hands with married men. Especially married men that they didn’t even like. Because she didn’t like Gator. Much. Honestly, she might have been a little attracted to him before she found out that he was married, despite the dog issue, but now that she knew, she was not going to give him another thought.
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