by Cathy Glass
‘I’m going to bed,’ she said. ‘I’m tired and I feel sick.’
I stopped myself from telling her that given the amount of alcohol she’d probably drunk it was little wonder she felt sick; I’d save my lecture for the morning, when she would be in a better state of mind to hear it and understand.
‘Go to bed and I’ll fetch a bucket,’ I said. Then I added: ‘And leave Courtney in her cot.’ For I had the horrific thought that in her inebriated state Jade might try to pick up Courtney for a cuddle. Had I known Jade was going to arrive home drunk, I would have taken the cot out of her room and placed it in my room for the night, so that there was no chance of her picking up Courtney during the night.
As I passed Paula’s open bedroom door, where Paula was in bed still waiting for a story, I called: ‘I won’t be long.’
Downstairs I took the bucket from the cupboard and returned to Jade’s room. She was in bed; she’d taken off her shoes and jeans and was lying in her top and underwear.
‘I’ll have a wash in the morning,’ she moaned groggily, as I placed the bucket beside her bed. ‘I’m too tired now. I don’t feel so good.’
I checked Courtney, who was nearly asleep, and then came out, leaving the door wide open so that I could hear Jade if she got out of bed or was sick. I went into Paula’s room. She was sitting up in bed, waiting patiently for her story.
‘What’s the matter with Jade?’ she asked, worried.
‘She’s not feeling well,’ I said, sitting on the bed next to her and resting my head on the headboard. ‘It’s nothing for you to worry about. Now, where were we up to in this book?’ I was reading Paula The BFG by Roald Dahl – a chapter or two a night, for although Paula could read, like most children her age she still liked to be read to.
I had read two pages when I heard Jade begin to retch. Paula heard it too. ‘Jade’s being sick,’ she said anxiously. ‘She needs you!’
I left Paula in bed and hurried round the landing to Jade’s room. She was hanging over the edge of the bed with her head in the bucket, vomiting, while Courtney slept in her cot a couple of feet away. I was about to go over to Jade and hold back her hair when the landline began to ring. Damn! I thought. Worried the ringing might wake Courtney, I left Jade and rushed round the landing to answer the extension in my bedroom.
‘Hello,’ I said, ready to tell the caller I’d phone back later. But a familiar female voice said: ‘It’s Jade’s mum, Jackie. Is Jade home now?’
‘Yes,’ I said, surprised to hear her and that she knew Jade had been out. ‘About ten minutes ago. She’s being sick.’
‘Well, I hope that teaches her a lesson,’ Jackie said. ‘The silly cow! You know the police were involved?’
‘The police?’ I said, shocked. ‘Involved in what? Jade was supposed to have been shopping with her friends in the mall.’
‘There were in the mall, not shopping but drinking, and making a lot of noise. Apparently they were there drinking most of the afternoon and then one of the shopkeepers called the police. The police gave the group a warning and told them to move on, but Chelsea – one of Jade’s mates with a big mouth – swore at the copper and got herself arrested. Her mother’s down at the police station now with her.’
‘But Jade wasn’t arrested?’
‘No, not this time.’
‘Thank goodness,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll speak to her.’
‘No need to apologize,’ Jackie said. ‘I’ve been through it with her. You’re doing your best but Jade needs to keep away from that lot now she’s got the baby. The social services are bound to hear about this and it won’t look good for her.’
‘No,’ I agreed. ‘I’ll talk to her. I’d better go and make sure she’s all right.’
‘OK. I’ll phone again tomorrow and see how she is. I take it it’s all right to use this number? Jade said it was.’
It was then I realized I’d never given Jackie my landline number, only my mobile. ‘Yes. Did Jade give you the landline number?’
‘Yes. She said you wouldn’t mind. She calls me on it when you’re collecting Paula from school if she’s up to the credit limit on her mobile.’
‘I see,’ I said. ‘Yes, phone tomorrow. I’d better go now and see to Jade.’
I said goodbye and returned to Jade’s room, aware the use of the landline was something else I’d have to talk to Jade about the following day. While I had no objection to her making local calls to her mother, I hoped she hadn’t been using the landline to call premium-rate numbers or chatting for a long time to her friends on their mobiles, which would be very expensive.
Jade had stopped vomiting and was now lying on her side in bed and groaning quietly, while Courtney slept. I was pleased Courtney wasn’t old enough to witness her mother’s behaviour.
‘I’ll get you a glass of water,’ I said quietly to Jade.
She groaned: ‘Please.’
On my way out I picked up the bucket, emptied it down the toilet, rinsed it out and returned it to beside Jade’s bed. I then went downstairs for the glass of water. Adrian was still in the sitting room watching the DVD and oblivious to what had been going on upstairs. I filled a glass with cold water and returning upstairs placed it on Jade’s bedside cabinet within her reach. I checked on Courtney again and came out, leaving the door open.
I went into Paula’s room and, reassuring her Jade was all right now, I stretched out on the bed again and finished reading the chapter. As I kissed her goodnight she said thoughtfully: ‘I suppose when you’re a teenager it takes a long time to learn to be a good mummy?’
‘Well, yes, I suppose it does,’ I said, smiling at her. ‘That was very wise. What made you say that?’’
‘Adrian told me. He said because you were old you knew how to be a good mummy, but Jade was young so she had to learn.’ Which I took to be a compliment.
‘Jade’s doing fine looking after her baby,’ I confirmed, giving her another kiss as I tucked her in. ‘She just made an error of judgement while she was out with her friends. It won’t happen again.’
Which was what I wrote in my log notes later.
Chapter Fifteen
Not an Ogre
That Saturday night I fed and changed Courtney when she woke at midnight and also at 4.00 a.m. I didn’t try to wake Jade, which I thought would be nearly impossible, as she was in a very deep sleep from all the alcohol she’d had to drink. When Courtney woke for her 8.00 feed I woke Jade and she stumbled out of bed and downstairs to warm the bottle while I soothed Courtney. It took Jade longer than it normally did, presumably because she was badly hung over. When she returned I waited until she was seated on the bed with Courtney safely in her arms and feeding her before I left to have a shower.
However, fifteen minutes later as I stepped from the shower, before I was dressed, I heard Courtney crying. I thought this was odd, because she never cried during or after feeding, only when she was hungry. Wrapping the bath towel around me, I padded barefoot along the landing to Jade’s room. It was obvious the moment I entered why Courtney was crying: Jade had fallen asleep and as her arms had relaxed the bottle had come out of Courtney’s mouth. But what was more worrying was that Courtney had slipped to one side and was in danger of rolling off the bed.
‘Jade!’ I said, shaking her shoulder.
She came to with a start and, looking at Courtney, immediately realized what was wrong. ‘Oh!’ she said anxiously. ‘I must have fallen asleep.’
She quickly resettled Courtney in her arms and returned the teat to her mouth.
‘Now you see why you can’t have a hangover when you’re responsible for a baby,’ I said sternly.
Jade didn’t reply but I could tell from her expression as she gazed down at Courtney that she appreciated the danger in which she had placed her daughter. I returned to the bathroom, dressed, and then went back to Jade’s room. Courtney had finished the bottle and Jade was winding her.
‘Once she’s in her cot I’m going back to bed for a wh
ile,’ Jade said.
‘All right. And then we need to have a chat.’
Jade came downstairs two hours later, bathed and dressed and looking a bit brighter. I waited until she’d poured herself a glass of juice before I approached her.
‘Sit down, please, Jade,’ I said, nodding to the chairs at the kitchen table.
She did as I asked and I sat opposite her. In a calm, even voice I warned Jade about her behaviour – drinking, smoking and being in trouble with the police. I didn’t have to say much, for now she was sober Jade appreciated how irresponsible her behaviour had been.
She apologized and then said anxiously, ‘I hope Rachel doesn’t find out.’
‘If she does you’ll need to tell her what you’ve told me: that you’re sorry and it won’t happen again.’ I then spoke to Jade about the use of the landline telephone – that I was happy for her to make local calls but not call premium-rate numbers or make long calls to mobiles, as they were very expensive.
‘Oh,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know that.’ So I guessed there was a big bill on its way.
Just after lunch, when Jade, Courtney and I were in the sitting room and Adrian and Paula were playing in their rooms, Jackie phoned the landline. I answered the call and then passed the handset to Jade. I guessed from Jade’s responses that Jackie was giving her a similar lecture to the one I’d given her about her behaviour in the mall. ‘Yes, Mum. I know, Mum,’ she said. ‘No, I won’t again. Cathy said. I promise.’
Then later that afternoon when I answered the front door it was to Tyler. Jade hadn’t told me he was coming and I didn’t think she knew, for she seemed surprised when I showed him into the sitting room. I could tell from his expression that he wasn’t pleased about something and I guessed it might be the incident at the mall. News seemed to travel fast among teenagers on the estate where Jade and Tyler lived, for I doubted Jade would have told him.
Tyler’s first words were: ‘So what’s been going on, Jade?’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Jade said, feigning innocence.
‘You. Drunk at the mall and giving it large to the police when you should be here looking after Courtney.’
I thought they probably needed time alone to talk, so I stepped out of the sitting room, but left the door slightly ajar so that I could keep a check on what was going on and intervene if necessary. I didn’t think Tyler had a temper but I hadn’t known him for very long, so I couldn’t be sure and he was clearly annoyed. Adrian came downstairs, having heard Tyler come in, and I told him to play until Tyler and Jade had finished talking. A few minutes passed as I hovered in the hall and I caught snatches of Tyler’s even but firm voice coming from the sitting room and telling Jade she was wrong and the social services were sure to find out. Then I heard Jade’s raised voice cry: ‘I’ve said I’m sorry! What more do you want?’
I knocked on the sitting-room door and went in. Jade was on the sofa, close to tears, and Tyler was sitting next to her. He looked pale and anxious, more worried than angry.
‘All right?’ I said gently to Tyler. ‘I think Jade understands now. I’ve spoken to her and so has her mother. I’m sure it won’t happen again.’
Tyler shrugged and glanced sideways at Jade. ‘I’ve told her before that Chelsea is bad news. She’s heading for lock-up and Jade will be there too if she doesn’t watch out.’
‘Yeah. OK! You said!’ Jade said, angry and upset.
‘I’m sure she understands,’ I said again, and I thought it was time to change the subject and move on. ‘Courtney will be wanting her bottle soon and there are none ready,’ I said to them both. ‘I suggest you two go into the kitchen and make up some bottles. Then I’ll make dinner. You’d like to stay for dinner, Tyler?’
‘Yeah, thanks. I’ll text me mum.’
Adrian reappeared with Paula, and Tyler said hi to them both. Then they all went into the kitchen, where Adrian and Paula watched while Jade and Tyler made up the bottles. The four of them then went upstairs to Jade’s room; Courtney had just woken. Adrian and Paula waited by the door while Tyler changed Courtney’s nappy, and then they came downstairs and into the sitting room, where Tyler fed Courtney. Adrian and Paula often shadowed Tyler and Jade; being that much older they looked up to them and were easily impressed by things they said or did. When Courtney had finished her bottle Tyler passed her to Jade and suggested to Adrian that they had a game on the PlayStation. Adrian didn’t need to be asked twice and plugged in the PlayStation. He and Tyler played while Paula fetched her school project – on water – and showed it to Jade as she cradled Courtney in her arms.
When I called them for dinner Paula went with Jade to put Courtney in her cot and then after we’d eaten the four of us watched a Walt Disney film. Big as they were, Tyler and Jade loved these films and Tyler knew most of the songs, just as we did. When the film had finished Tyler helped Jade bath Courtney, give her a bottle and then settle her in the cot for the night, while I took Paula to bed. So all in all it was a pleasant afternoon and evening, when again I felt we were like one big happy family. Tyler eventually left at 9.00 p.m. and he and Jade were in the hall for some time, kissing and hugging goodnight. I felt very positive: the afternoon and evening had been a success, Jade appreciated the error of her ways, and she and Tyler had displayed very good parenting skills, which is what I later wrote in my log notes.
Rachel telephoned on Monday afternoon and was aware of the incident at the mall, but I quickly dismissed her concerns as an error of judgement Jade wouldn’t make again and was very sorry about. I then concentrated on telling her how well she and Tyler were doing parenting their baby.
‘Good,’ Rachel said. ‘I don’t want to see another police report mentioning Jade’s name.’ So I assumed that the police report in respect of Chelsea had also mentioned Jade as one of those present, although she hadn’t been arrested.
Rachel then asked to speak to Jade and I passed the phone to her. She went very quiet as Rachel talked to her. I guessed she was giving her a lecture. When Rachel had finished Jade said a subdued: ‘Thank you. I will, I promise.’ There was then some discussion about Jade’s benefits before Jade returned the phone to me so that I could make an appointment for Rachel to visit us.
‘Phew!’ Jade said, smiling with relief when I’d finished and had hung up. ‘Thanks for sticking up for me.’
‘I only told the truth.’ I said. ‘You are doing well.’
Courtney grew and blossomed. She was a darling baby and we all loved her, including my parents, who always made a big fuss of her and gave her a present each time they saw her. We had also grown close to Jade and Tyler, whom we viewed as our extended family, as I believe they did us. Jade and Tyler were relaxed at home with us and sometimes asked for my opinion as one would a parent. They both played with Adrian and Paula as siblings and I was hoping that we’d all go on holiday together in the summer, although I hadn’t mentioned this yet.
For the first month of Courtney’s life I’d gone with Jade to the clinic each week to have Courtney weighed, measured and checked over, and then Jade had said she could manage alone. While I was happy to keep going with Jade, I recognized that she needed to take more and more responsibility for Courtney in preparation for when she was hopefully living independently and would have to do all these things herself.
Jade had a scheduled postnatal check-up at the hospital when Courtney was six weeks old and I was expecting to take them in the car, but Jade said she wanted her mother to go, which was understandable. I therefore offered to take Jade and Courtney in the car and collect Jackie on the way, but Jade said she could manage alone and was quick to point out that she needed to get used to the buses with Courtney and the pushchair, as she would be using them all the time eventually – after they left me.
Her appointment was at 11.00 a.m. and before Jade left I made sure she had a bottle of formula for the twelve o’clock feed, plus an extra bottle just in case, clean nappies, nappy bags, wipes, etc., all of which Jade put into t
he ‘baby bag’. Satisfied that they had everything they needed and telling Jade to phone me if the bus didn’t arrive, in which case I would give her a lift in the car, I waved them off at the door. Then I spent an anxious couple of hours hoping that everything was going to plan, as it was Jade’s first outing on the bus with Courtney.
I was expecting them home by 1.00 p.m. and I had some lunch ready. When they hadn’t returned by 2.00 I phoned Jade’s mobile.
‘Is everything all right?’ I asked her.
‘Yeah, sure. I’ve had me check-up and I’ve gone to me mum’s. Don’t worry. I’ll be back later. Courtney’s had a bottle and I’ve got the spare.’
‘OK, love, enjoy yourself. And say hi to your mum from me.’
‘I will,’ Jade said.
I ate my lunch and threw Jade’s away, did some housework and then collected Paula from school. I hoped Jade would return soon, as the afternoon was chilly for a young baby to be out. I then spent another anxious couple of hours clock-watching and hoping Jackie would have the good sense to tell Jade she needed to go before too long.
Jade finally returned a little after 6.00 p.m. with Courtney crying from hunger. I heard her cries before Jade opened the front door.
‘I lost the other bottle,’ Jade said, parking the pushchair in the hall and flying upstairs to the toilet.
I lifted Courtney out of the pushchair and carried her through to the kitchen, where I quickly warmed a bottle. Her little hands felt cold and I wondered why she wasn’t wearing her mittens.
‘You should have come home sooner,’ I said to Jade as she reappeared. ‘She’s starving, poor little mite.’
‘I know. She cried all the way on the bus. I lost the bottle and her mittens. I think I left them at the hospital.’
Accidents happen and there was no point in going on at Jade. I passed Courtney and the bottle to Jade, and she carried her into the sitting room, where she sat on the sofa and fed her. About twenty minutes later – when Jade was upstairs changing Courtney – the landline rang and it was Jackie.