by Cathy Glass
‘OK, love. I’ll check in my diary and text you a date.’
‘Thanks.’
The phone went dead and I stood for a moment in the high street considering what Jade had said. While Courtney was still with her, which was clearly good news, whether they could remain together apparently still hung in the balance. Once home I would check in my diary and text Jade the first date I was free. I returned to the shop but my heart wasn’t in shopping any more and I was soon driving home again.
Two days later I arrived at Grasslands, carrying a bag of ‘goodies’. I was nervous; it had been over a month since I’d last seen Jade and we hadn’t parted on the best of terms. If Jade had been a younger child who’d rejected me on a previous visit I’d simply have forgotten it, but with someone of Jade’s age I had to respect the fact she was an adult, with a personality of her own, and might not be ready to completely make up and move on.
I pressed the buzzer to her flat and a minute later her voice answered: ‘Come on up, Cathy.’ It was lovely to be here again.
When I turned the corner at the top of the stairs Jade was waiting by her open flat door with Courtney in her arms. I went over and hugged and kissed them both. Jade turned and led the way into her flat. But while she was pleased to see me, once inside I thought I detected a certain reserve in her manner, as though she was putting some distance between us. Courtney, of course, was her usual chirpy self and seemed to remember me. Now ten months old and standing she was very inquisitive of everything around her. Jade said she was into everything and she couldn’t let her out of her sight even for a moment. I was more than happy to sit on the floor and keep Courtney amused while Jade talked to me.
Jade talked generally about her and Courtney, and amongst other things told me that now Tyler had started his apprenticeship he could only get over to see her and Courtney at weekends, but he phoned on the other nights and Jade sent him pictures of Courtney on her phone. Jade said she’d made a new friend at Grasslands, a girl called Sapphire. Perhaps my expression gave away my apprehension, for she quickly added: ‘Don’t worry, Cathy. She’s sensible. We won’t get into trouble.’
I nodded: ‘So you’ve been allowed to stay at Grasslands?’
Jade then explained about the ‘contract’ Rachel had drawn up and which Jade had had to sign. It was essentially a set of expectations (rules) that the social services had set out in respect of Jade’s behaviour and her parenting of Courtney, to which she had to adhere in order to stay with Courtney at Grasslands. These included Grasslands’ rules as well as some extra undertakings: for example, that Jade stopped smoking so that she could better manage her budget. The contract was similar to a ‘home-rules contract’ with which I was familiar and which is sometimes used by parents and foster carers to modify unsafe behaviour in teenagers. The consequence of breaking a home-rules contract is usually loss of a privilege: for example, the teenager is stopped from going out in the evening. The consequence of Jade breaking the contract was far more serious, for Rachel had made it clear this really was her very last chance.
As Jade talked, I realized that the reserve in her nature was more a matter of maturity. She appeared less impulsive and seemed to be finally growing up and accepting her responsibilities as a parent. She admitted: ‘Seeing Tracy lose her baby did it for me. I never thought they’d take her but they did. Mum says that was my wake-up call.’
I thought Jackie was right. I asked Jade if she’d heard from Tracy, but she hadn’t and she said she was worried about her. I reassured her that Tracy’s social worker would make sure she was all right, but that was the only reassurance I could give her, for I didn’t know what had become of Tracy.
Jade made us a sandwich lunch, which to my surprise had lettuce and cucumber in it. ‘Very healthy,’ I said.
She laughed. ‘Yeah, the staff here are impressed too, but I still like my fry-ups, and chocolate biscuits.’
When it was time for me to leave, I didn’t simply assume Jade wanted me to visit her again; I asked her. She said she did but not every week. ‘I need to do this alone,’ she said. ‘To prove to them’ – the social services – ‘and me I can do it.’
‘I understand,’ I said. ‘Text me when you want me to visit. You’re doing very well.’ But how many times had I praised her before and then been disappointed?
I hugged and kissed them both goodbye at the door and I came away feeling fairly positive, although I cautioned myself on being too optimistic. I subsequently told Jill of my visit but not Adrian and Paula. I was protecting them again, just in case the worst happened.
At the end of November I received a text message from Jade asking if I’d visit again, and I went two days later and stayed for a couple of hours. She still seemed to be making good progress and I allowed myself a little more optimism.
I visited her again a week before Christmas, when I took presents for her, Tyler and Courtney, and included in the bag of goodies sweet mince pies, a chocolate Santa and a chocolate yuletide log. Jade was thrilled with all the chocolate and thanked me. She’d decorated her living room festively with a small artificial Christmas tree with lights and had hung some garlands from the ceiling. It looked very nice. Jade told me that all the girls at Grasslands had been given some extra money towards Christmas decorations for their flats, although apparently some of the girls had spent the money not on decorations but on make-up, so I was pleased Jade (and Sapphire) had used their money correctly.
‘The room looks lovely,’ I said again. ‘You’ve done a good job.’
‘Thanks. I did it while Courtney was asleep, so it was a surprise for her.’
Jade was excited and looking forward to Christmas, which would be Courtney’s first. They were spending Christmas Day at her mother’s and then on Boxing Day, Tyler was coming to Jade’s flat. ‘Tyler and me are going to make sure Courtney has a proper family Christmas,’ Jade said. ‘Just like the ones you see on the television.’ And from the way she said this I thought that perhaps her Christmases as a child hadn’t always been everything she’d hoped.
On Christmas morning Jade texted me, wishing us all a very merry Christmas or rather a vry mrry xmas xxx. The next time I saw her was near the end of January, a couple of days before Courtney’s first birthday. I took presents and a card for Courtney, as well as the usual bag of goodies, and Jade hid the presents away until it was Courtney’s birthday. I also gave Jade some new clothes for Courtney; she was growing so quickly that Jade was struggling to manage on her budget (even though she had stopped smoking). She’d been buying second-hand clothes for Courtney and herself from charity shops. Encouraged by the staff at Grasslands, Jade was planning a little birthday party for Courtney and had invited six other mothers and their babies to come to her flat at two o’clock on the afternoon of Courtney’s birthday. Jade told me the staff were going to help her make some fairy cakes and jellies for the party, and there’d be sandwiches and soft drinks too. She also said that Meryl, the teacher from her old school, was going to visit the following week.
I saw Jade once in February for a couple of hours and everything seemed fine; then in March I received a text message: I’m MovN: which meant I’m moving. My heart sank until I understood the rest of the message – We’re bn givN a fl@. wl txt wen settld. tnx 4 evryting lov Jade x – which meant: We’re being given a flat. Will text when settled. Thanks for everything Love Jade.
I knew that being given a social-housing flat was a big step forward. This was independent living for Jade, so the social services must be confident enough that she could parent her baby without the supervision that Grasslands offered. But I also knew that after moving, Courtney would still be monitored by the social services and possibly stay on the child-protection register until the social services were certain she was in no longer in any danger. I told Jill of this new development and she was pleased. I also told Adrian and Paula, for although they were now involved with the new child we were fostering they still talked about Jade, Courtney and Tyler, and from t
ime to time asked how they were, just as they did with most of the children we’d fostered. While a child might leave a foster family, they never leave our hearts or memories.
Two months later – in May – I received a text from Jade: cum n vzit wen u wnt which I easily translated as: Come and visit when you want. She’d included the address of her new flat, and when I looked at the postcode more carefully I thought it must be on the estate where her mother lived. I texted back: I’d luv to visit. R u lving close 2 ur mum?
Yes. 5 mins wlk frm mum’s, she replied, which was fantastic for Jade.
I decided not to take Adrian and Paula on my first visit, so I chose a weekday when they would be at school. There would be plenty of opportunity in the future for them to see Jade and Courtney when I knew for certain they would stay together.
Jade didn’t text me a list of items she’d like in her ‘goody bag’ as she usually did, so I included her favourite crisps, chocolate biscuits and cake and the essential nappies, fruit, etc. I usually put in. I found the road where she lived easily and parked the car in one of the designated bays at the rear of the flats. I went down the walkway and to the front. It was 11.25 a.m. and Jade was expecting me at 11.30. Jade had already texted me that her flat was on the third floor, and I took the stairs, which smelt vaguely of disinfectant but were clean and freshly painted.
Arriving at the top, I went part way down the corridor until I came to flat twenty. I pressed the bell and waited, nervously twiddling the carrier bag at my side. The door opened and to my astonishment Tyler greeted me.
‘Hi, Cathy!’ he said, stepping forward and throwing his arms around me in a big hug. ‘Welcome!’
‘Tyler, how nice to see you,’ I said as he released me and I could breathe again.
‘Come on in,’ he said. ‘I took the day off work so I could see you. Do you like our flat?’
‘So you live here too?’ I asked, surprised.
‘I do,’ he said, jumping around me like an excited puppy. ‘This way!’
He pushed open the first door that led off the hall and I followed him into the lounge, where Jade was sitting on the floor showing Courtney how to do a large-piece jigsaw. Jade immediately stood and came over and kissed my cheek; then she said to Courtney: ‘Look who’s come to see us. It’s Aunty Cathy.’
Courtney looked up at me, made a good attempt at saying Aunty Cathy, and then, standing, toddled over. ‘Hello, darling,’ I said, picking her up and hugging her. ‘Aren’t you a big girl now?’
‘Mummy,’ she said pointing to Jade.
‘That’s right. Clever girl,’ I said.
‘And who’s this?’ Tyler asked, grinning and pointing to himself.
‘Daddy,’ she said clearly, which obviously pleased Tyler. He clapped, grinned and danced around her, which made Courtney chuckle. I put her down, as she wanted to be on the floor.
‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ Tyler asked me as Courtney went to the bookshelf and began pulling off the magazines.
‘Yes please,’ I said.
‘Do you want one?’ Tyler asked Jade, who was now redirecting her daughter’s attention back to the jigsaw.
‘Please,’ she said.
‘There are some biscuits in there,’ I said, passing the carrier bag to Tyler.
‘Thanks, Cath.’ He disappeared into the kitchen to make the tea while I joined Courtney and Jade on the floor with the puzzle.
‘This is a lovely flat,’ I said.
‘Yes, we’re lucky. We decorated it all ourselves.’
The lounge was freshly painted in off-white and had a new carpet and curtains. There was a sofa, which I guessed was good second-hand, and a small coffee table, on which stood some framed photographs of Jade’s and Tyler’s families and a large one of Courtney. Against one wall was a television on a unit that contained DVDs and CDs. Beside the television were more family photos and a stack of teenage magazines. Pushed against another wall was a large plastic toy box containing Courtney’s toys.
‘You didn’t tell me Tyler was living with you,’ I said to Jade as the clink of crockery came from kitchen.
‘I wanted it to be a surprise. He’s been great. The flat was left in a disgusting state. No one on the housing list wanted it but we jumped at it. Mum looked after Courtney while we cleared out all the rubbish and then cleaned and painted it. We’ve done well, haven’t we, Cathy?’
‘You certainly have, love. Do you see your mother more often now?’
‘Oh yes, and my brothers and sisters. It’s great living here. They’re all just round the corner.’
I was pleased Jade seemed so settled and the support from her mother would be invaluable. As we talked, Jade told me her mother had changed her working hours so that she was free to help Jade more, and that they were closer now than they’d ever been and had stopped all the arguing.
We finished the jigsaw and Tyler appeared, carrying two mugs of tea and one of the packets of biscuits I’d brought.
‘Goody, my favourites,’ Jade said, standing and taking the packet. Opening it, she peeled off two and then offered the packet to me. I took a biscuit and sat on the sofa beside Tyler, so that my hot tea was away from Courtney on the floor.
‘So how is work?’ I asked him.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘The governor’s pleased with me. He says I’m the best apprentice they’ve had at the garage in a long while. He says I don’t mind getting my hands dirty.’
‘Yeah, his overalls are filthy and I have to wash them,’ Jade said, throwing him an indulgent smile.
‘Comes with the job,’ Tyler said. Then to me: ‘How’s the kids?’
‘Adrian and Paula are fine,’ I said. ‘Looking forward to the end of term and the long summer holidays.’
‘Bring them next time,’ Tyler said. ‘We’d like to see them and we’re a good example now, aren’t we? Rachel said so.’
I smiled, while Jade pulled a face at the mention of Rachel. ‘She keeps coming here,’ she moaned. ‘Sometimes we don’t know when she’s coming. She can see we’re doing well. I’m fine now with Tyler here.’
‘It’s her job,’ Tyler said, and I nodded.
I’d always thought that despite his youth Tyler was a good influence on Jade and this seemed to have been confirmed. As the three of us talked, I could see that Jade relied on Tyler, listened to what he said and respected his opinion, which in my view was no bad thing. Although he was young in many ways he was far more mature than others of his age. He acted responsibly, had sound values and principles, and as far as I knew had never got into trouble as Jade had.
We finished our tea and Tyler suggested he show me around the flat, as Jade was keeping Courtney amused. But when Courtney saw her father about to leave the room she immediately stood and toddled over, wanting to come too, so we all went on a guided tour: the main bedroom, Courtney’s bedroom, the bathroom and kitchen, all of which, although sparsely furnished, were clean and very tidy. Jade and Tyler were justly proud of what they had achieved and I admired each room and congratulated them on their achievements. As we went round, Jade also made a point of telling me she never drank or smoked now, not at all.
‘Well done,’ I said again. But by the end of the tour I was starting to feel that they were trying too hard, as though showcasing their family and wanting to impress me, probably as they did when Rachel visited.
We returned to the lounge and talked some more, and then Tyler offered to make me some lunch, but I said I needed to go and do a few things before it was time to collect Paula from school. I also thought Tyler needed to relax on his day off from work; he hadn’t stopped since I’d arrived. I made a fuss of Courtney and then the three of them saw me to the door.
‘Come again soon,’ Tyler said.
‘Thanks, I will,’ I said. ‘You’re all doing very well.’
I stepped out of the flat and into the corridor and was about to head towards the staircase when Jade suddenly said: ‘Oh, Cathy! I nearly forgot to tell you. I’ve got some good ne
ws.’
I stopped and turned, thinking she was about to tell me of another home improvement they were planning to make or, heaven forbid, that she was pregnant. But to my delight she said quietly: ‘I’ve applied to go to college in September, to do some exams.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ I said, returning to her. ‘What will you study?’
‘I’m going to take my A-levels. Then I was thinking of training to be a teaching assistant.’
‘Fantastic. How sensible,’ I said, truly impressed.
‘The college has a crèche and Mum said she’d have Courtney some days,’ Jade explained. ‘I’m so excited. I can’t wait.’
‘You’ll do very well Jade. I know you will. You’re a clever girl.’
‘She is,’ Tyler said, tenderly slipping his arm around Jade’s shoulders; Courtney was standing between them. ‘I’m very proud of my Jade,’ he said. ‘It’ll be hard work but I know she can do this.’
‘Absolutely,’ I said. ‘There’s no doubt,’ and I kissed Jade’s cheek. ‘I’m proud of you too, Jade. Let me know if I can help with childcare or even the studying.’
‘Thanks, Cathy. I will.’
‘And there’ll be another piece of news soon,’ Tyler added, straightening and puffing his chest out like a proud pigeon.
‘Oh yes?’ I looked at Tyler, slightly apprehensively. Jade looked at him too, puzzled.
‘I wasn’t going to say anything just yet,’ he said, glancing at Jade. ‘But as you’re here, Cathy, I’d like you to know. It’s Jade’s birthday in two weeks and I’m planning on asking her to marry me.’
I could see from Jade’s face that she was as surprised by this as I was. Her eyes rounded and her mouth dropped open.
‘Well, what a lovely surprise!’ I said, recovering first. ‘How wonderful.’
Tyler then turned Jade to face him and, taking her hands between his, looked deep into her eyes. ‘Jade, will you marry me?’ he asked sincerely. ‘I hope you will.’
Jade didn’t have to say anything; her expression said it all and I felt my eyes mist. As a foster carer I’ve witnessed many emotional scenes over the years – from the joyous to the dreadfully sad – but never before had I witnessed a young man proposing marriage, and I was delighted.