by Aly Martinez
“He did not just manhandle me,” I whispered to myself, the trauma of the day finally manifesting in violent rage.
He opened the door and climbed in, which was when I screamed at a decibel that should never be used in an enclosed vehicle. “You did not just manhandle me!”
“I sure as fuck did.” He cranked the truck, threw it in reverse, and then hit the gas, all but peeling out of the parking spot.
“Are you kidding me right now?” I grabbed my seat belt and clicked it on. “Because clearly my day hasn’t been bad enough—you need to go psychotic on me too?”
His jaw ticked as he jumped the curb to get on to the road. “What the fuck do you mean he’s going to do a lot worse? Start at the beginning. I want to hear every goddamn detail that involves Thomas Lyons.”
“Oh, suddenly, I’m supposed to be answering your questions now? When you’ve been lying to me for a fucking week?”
He tore his gaze off the road long enough to glance over at me. “The hell are you talking about? I haven’t been lying to you.”
“Bullshit!” I yelled, hooking my leg up on the seat so I could face him. “You’ve been lying to me about everything since the night of the fire. I don’t know why. And I don’t know what you’re hiding. But don’t you dare sit there and demand an explanation from me when you’ve never given one to me.”
He sucked in a shaky breath as though he were searching for patience. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I’m trying to protect you?”
“Has it ever occurred to you that I don’t want to be protected? I want the truth. I’ve spent my entire life being lied to, manipulated, and controlled, and now, you want me to just shut up and swallow more of it from you?”
He opened his mouth, but I didn’t have time for any more bullshit explanations. They weren’t going to contain anything but smoke and mirrors anyway.
“Save it, okay?” I picked my phone up again, but my mind was spinning in too many different directions to remember what I’d programmed Catalina’s number under. Not like I could call her in front of Drew anyway.
Or did it even matter anymore?
I hadn’t meant to explode on him, though I didn’t exactly feel bad about it, either. Between Thomas’s new shit, River being gone, my inability to find Savannah, the gaping hole in my heart because of Penn’s death… I couldn’t take much more. Everything on my body hurt—inside and out. I was beyond exhausted. And, worst of all, I missed the comfort of my hell in that apartment building. I just wanted to go home, where something—anything—felt normal again.
“I’m done, Drew. I’m so done.”
“Don’t say that.” He sighed. “You don’t understand.”
“No. I really don’t,” I told the windshield. “Because you haven’t given me a chance.”
“Jesus Christ.” He said it like a curse, but it was filled with resignation. “Didn’t you and Penn used to play that game? Truth or Lies or something.”
My throat got tight and I swung my head in his direction. “I don’t want any more lies.”
For a split second, headlights from oncoming traffic lit up the cab of the truck, enabling me to see his wince. “I need an out, Cora. Some of this shit, you do not need to know. And that is not because it’s some great secret that will unlock the mysteries of the universe. It’s because I don’t want to know some of this shit. I’ll give you what I can, but if there’s something that you don’t need to know, I’m not going to answer.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. It wasn’t ideal. But any light was better than staying in the dark. “Fine. Truth or Lie.”
“All right. Lay it on me.”
“Where’d he get a million dollars?”
“Lie. I don’t know.”
I shot him a glare. “Did he steal it? Rob a bank? What? The girls have it now. Are they going to get arrested for using it?”
“Truth. No. They’ll be fine. Next question.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, why’d he go to the building that night?”
He groaned and then lifted a pack of cigarettes into the air. “You mind if I smoke while we talk?”
I didn’t care if he knitted a sweater while flying on the trapeze if he was actually going to tell me the truth.
“Go for it,” I replied.
He rolled his window down before sparking the tip. Then he pulled in a few deep tobacco-filled inhales and blew them out of the truck. “He was pissed about what Dante did to Savannah, and he knew it wasn’t going to stop at that. After everything he went through with Lisa, the idea of those assholes hurting you or River next… Well, it was more than he could take. I turned our cell phone records over to the cops. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would only hurt you more, but he called Marcos and Dante that night. Couple times. I don’t know what was said, but I can only imagine it was pretty colorful.”
I screwed my eyes shut. Yeah, that hurt. Knowing that I was Penn’s motive crashed into me like a sledgehammer.
Though finally having the truth made catching my breath a fraction easier.
“So he poked the beast and they actually showed up?” I asked.
“From what I’ve gathered, yeah, that’s exactly what he did.”
I spoke around the lump in my throat. “And he started the fire, didn’t he? Was that his plan all along—to kill Marcos and Dante?”
He took another drag of his cigarette but never gave me his eyes. “Yes.”
“And he did that for me too, didn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
It was a simple answer that needed no explanation.
I closed my eyes when they started to sting. I was so sick of crying all the damn time. “I knew it,” I mumbled. “I fucking knew it.”
Drew’s hand landed on the side of my neck, where he gave me a gentle squeeze. “The truth is, Cora, he loved you, and he was going to do whatever it took to make you safe.”
“Yeah, well. If you want my truth, I’d rather them still be alive than him be dead.”
“I know. But you gotta understand that I’m here, taking care of you, doing the best I can in a way that I know he would want. I’m on your team. And I’m sick of watching you cry, so if I can prevent that, sometimes, I might tell you a lie. But it’s only to protect you. Not all lies are bad.”
That little blast from the past made me stammer, “Y…you sound just like him. He used to tell me that too.”
“Oh, come on, Penn isn’t that smart.”
I laughed, but it ended on a sob. “I miss him, Drew. So damn much. And I’m really mad at him. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone after I lost Nic. And I don’t even want to try after losing Penn. It’s not worth it. In my life, nothing is permanent but pain. It’s always one sprint after another. I haven’t even caught my breath after losing Penn, and now, Thomas is trying to take River from me?”
The truck slowed to a stop on the shoulder of the road, but the dam inside me had broken. “What did I do wrong? I’m a good person, but I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of fighting losing battles. And I’m tired of making the best out of a bad situation for the sake of everyone around me.”
He put the truck in park and leaned toward me to give me some awkward side hug thing. “Shhh…calm down. Get it together, because we’re gonna figure this out,” he soothed.
But I couldn’t get it together. My life had fallen apart the moment I first laid eyes on Nic Guerrero. And now, fourteen years later, there was nothing left of me but jagged remnants and broken shards. None of the pieces fit anymore, and I was too damn tired of trying to make them.
“I quit,” I told his shoulder. “The universe can have its victory, because I can’t take this anymore.”
“You’re not a quitter. Or we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”
I sat up, swiping at my eyes. “He took my daughter, Drew. And unless I can get in touch with Catalina and convince her not to come back to claim her brothers’ estates, he says he’ll take her away from me for
good. And he’s just sick and twisted enough that I believe him. Though I’m not sure if that’s before or after he kills me. Something he also threatened. So maybe I should worry about that one first.”
The day I’d met Drew Walker, I’d thought he was plain. But, in hindsight, that had only been because he was standing next to Penn.
Drew was a different kind of handsome.
A different kind of sweet.
A different kind of thoughtful.
And, right then, with his jaw tight, his eyes narrowed into slits, the muscles straining at his neck, and his lips forming a hard slash, he was kind of scary too.
“What?” he breathed so quietly that I barely heard him over the rumble of the engine.
“And he sent the attorney you found home tonight. Apparently, they play golf together. Annnnnnd…the judge that will be hearing my case owes him more favors than Thomas has time. How am I supposed to fight that? Because seriously, if you have an idea, I’m all ears. ’Cause I got nothing.”
“Oh, I got a plan.” He stared at me. His lips were curled into a rabid snarl and his chest was rising and falling faster with every breath, but his eyes weren’t focused. It was as though he were looking right through me.
I waited for several seconds, but when he failed to offer an explanation, I prompted, “You care to share it with me?”
He blinked, turned in his seat, put the car back into gear, and hit the gas. “Nope.”
I watched him closely as he weaved through traffic. He wasn’t driving fast or overly aggressive, but the muscles in his arms flexed like he was trying to rip the wheel off the steering column.
By the time he opened the door to our hotel room, he’d relaxed a good bit. I, on the other hand, was a mess. One look around that empty room and I wanted to fall apart all over again. Thanks to the Guerreros, I had missed years of River growing up. But ever since Manuel had gotten locked away, she hadn’t spent a single night away from me.
Now, I didn’t even know where she was.
Her clothes were strewn haphazardly in what was supposed to be a pile in the corner, and her phone was still charging on the nightstand.
Never had my chest felt emptier.
But crying wasn’t going to get my daughter back.
Drew was right: I wasn’t a quitter, no matter how appealing the idea sounded sometimes.
I had no doubt River would call me the first chance she got. She was smart, and as much as I’d hated all the shit she’d had to deal with in her thirteen years, it gave me comfort that she knew how to handle herself in any situation.
I had a week before the court date. I needed to get in touch with Catalina and figure out our next move. I couldn’t live like that. I’d just gotten rid of two problems without adding Thomas Lyons to my list. Even if that meant finding River and taking off the same way Catalina had done all those years earlier. Once I got the rest of the girls from the building taken care of, I didn’t have much of a reason to stay anymore.
The building was gone.
Penn too.
And, while I did care about Drew, it wasn’t like he was going to spend the rest of his life beside me on the bed. Nor did I want him to. However, I was weak enough to let him stay until I got River back.
But what would happen after that? I’d always be looking over my shoulder. Holding my breath. Waiting for the day Thomas or one of his henchmen in blue found us.
It hadn’t even been two weeks since Marcos and Dante died. But there was something inherently addictive about not having to monitor your every move.
I didn’t think before I spoke.
I cried without fear of it being used against me.
And I didn’t wake up four times a night to make sure the doors were locked.
Penn had given up his life to make me free. Thomas didn’t get to take that away.
But what other choice did I have?
“I need to make a call,” I told Drew as I started scrolling through my phone.
He sat across from me on the bed. “Catalina?”
My gaze jumped to his. I could have lied. I could have protected her. I could have kept up the façade that I was just as clueless as everyone else when it came to where she had gone. But damn, I was tired of hiding.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Please don’t ask any questions.”
He gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. “How about I head down to the hotel bar for a little while. Give you some time alone. You can call me if you need anything though. Okay?”
I nodded. “Thanks, Drew.”
“Any time, Cora. Any time.”
I stared at my phone until the door clicked behind him. After that, I scrolled through until I found the number I’d programmed in as Delilah’s Bakery and hit call.
She answered on the first ring.
“I need you to come back, Cat.”
“Have you lost your freaking mind?”
“No. I’ve lost my daughter.”
The line went silent—along with my heart.
Penn
“Please, Penn!” Cora screamed.
I’d climbed out of her window and was staring up at the flames, which if everything were going as planned, were finishing off Marcos and Dante forever.
But she wasn’t supposed to be there.
She was supposed to be at the hotel.
She was…
As she banged on the windowpanes, her blue eyes filled with terror, fire licking at her back, smoke all around her. “Please, Penn!” Her voice tore through me with the velocity of a bullet, knocking the wind out of my lungs before piercing through my heart.
“Cora!” I yelled, lurching toward the building, ready to claw my way up to her, but my legs wouldn’t move any more than her name carried any sound.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t breathe.
All I could do was watch her die.
Such was my curse in life.
I came awake with a loud roar shredding my throat. Bolting upright, I panted and frantically tried to differentiate my nightmare from reality.
It wasn’t the first nightmare I’d had about her. She was my subconscious’s favorite obsession as of late.
She was always dying.
I was always watching.
And I could never get to her.
With a shaking hand, I scrubbed my face, desperately trying to wipe away the mental image of her standing at that window. In the dark, I patted the bed beside me as if she would suddenly appear.
What I would have given for her to be there with me, physically reassuring me while my mind took the longer path to keep up.
My pulse slowed as I closed my eyes and imagined her there.
She would have purred as I rolled her over, stretching like a cat before circling her arms around my neck. Her heart beating. Air in her lungs. Safe at my side.
Her messy, blond hair would have cascaded over her face, barely revealing a sleepy smile as she murmured, “You ’kay, baby?”
When I would have told her no, that I needed her, her eyes would have opened, the blue sparkling even in the darkness, healing me as she whispered, “I’m right here, Penn.”
And then she would have kissed me, slow and soft, with a reverence that made it seem like maybe I was healing her too.
As it always did with us, it wouldn’t have taken long before it became heated. Her hands roaming over my back, and as mine drifted to her ass, the nightmare would fade as desire overwhelmed us both.
She would have opened her legs, inviting me in.
And I would have slid in, more desperate than ever to bury myself inside her warmth.
Alone, in my bedroom, I could almost feel her fingertips gliding over my shoulder as our bodies rolled together, and as I fell back against the pillows, the sound of her moans playing in my ears, I absolutely felt my hand slide into my sweats and wrap around my thickening cock.
“Fucking hell. What are you doing?” a man growled.
My entire body came awake for a se
cond time as I flew out of bed, the gun under my pillow coming up with me, my finger poised.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! It’s me! Shane, stop!” he yelled.
The jarring familiarity was the only thing that stopped me from pulling the trigger, but I still couldn’t process who he was or why he was there.
“Who the fuck are you!” I boomed, lifting the gun higher, stepping toward his indistinguishable silhouette.
“It’s me. Drew. Shit, man. It’s me! Put the gun down!”
My breath left me on a rush. “Jesus, Drew! What the hell are you doing here? Don’t sneak up on a man like that.”
He slapped on the light, nearly blinding me. “I didn’t sneak up on you, dickhead. I woke your sorry ass up. You sat up and everything. Then you went for your dick like the start of some seriously fucked-up porn.”
Okay, so I clearly had not fully woken up between my nightmare-turned-wet-dream.
Well played, subconscious. Well played.
Using one arm to shield my eyes from the light, I opened the drawer on my nightstand and tucked the gun inside. “You scared the shit out of me.”
He planted his hands on his hips. “Yeah, well. I’d way rather that any day over watching you jerk your dick.”
“Would you shut the fuck up?” I hissed.
And then, as if on cue…
“Penn?” Her frightened voice fluttered down the hallway.
Outstanding.
I started toward the door to put her mind at ease when I caught a glimpse of Drew’s face. Swear to God, his mouth was hanging open so wide that I thought his jaw was going to come unhinged.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” he snarled. “It hasn’t even been two weeks and you got a woman here? Are. You. Kidding me?”
I shot him a bored glare. “It’s Savannah, you ass.”
When I got into the hall, I found her standing outside her bedroom door. She was still wearing the oversized sleep shirt, but she’d shed the pajama pants at some point.
“Go back to bed. It’s just Drew,” I told her.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.