He stood up and kissed me. “I’ll go take a look at it, see if I need to pick up any supplies when we’re out.”
He slipped into the bathroom while I sat down at the table, taking a Danish out of the bag he left out. Just as I was about to take a bite, the door opened and Kathy rushed in. “Hey, I can’t stay long, we’re going to Sam’s parents soon. But I wanted to slip away and find out how Noah reacted when you told him your secret?” She picked up my coffee and took a drink.
I glared at her, my eyes wide, shaking my head, hoping she knew what I was thinking, and shut up. Her brows knit together, as if to say, “What?”
She didn’t have a chance to voice her question before Noah came out of the bathroom. Kathy’s eyes widened, glancing at me, hesitantly. “Kathy, could you leave us alone? I need to talk to Anna.” His voice was harsh, his eyes hard.
“Noah, I—” she started to say, but stopped when she saw the scowl on his face. She rushed to the door, mouthing “I’m sorry” to me before she slipped out.
My mind went blank. This was it, I had to tell him. But what could I say? As my mind scrambled, trying to think of how to explain, he slowly turned to face me. “How could you tell her your secret and not me, after all the times I begged you? You knew I wanted to help.” He paused, his eyes taking on a tortured look. “Don’t you trust me?”
So many emotions flooded through me, but guilt for putting that look in his eyes was the strongest. “Yes, of course I do, more than anyone. But she found out, I didn’t tell her.” There was desperation in my voice. He needed to know I didn’t hurt him on purpose.
“Then tell me now.”
I looked down at my bare feet, unable to look him in the eye. I was afraid that after I let it all out, things would change between us. I loved him so much, we had so much fun together. Even the mention of Nick’s name would taint that.
When I hesitated, anger flashed in his eyes. His hand flew out; on instinct I shrank back, covering my face with my hands.
His hand froze midair, and I could see now through my fingers that he was reaching for the wall above me. His expression turned from anger to pain. “I wasn’t going to hit you, how could you think that?”
I pulled my hands from my face, and stood up, stepping around him, wandering over to the window to look out, again avoiding his eyes.
“Who hurt you?” he asked. “That’s why you’re here, right? You’re running from someone who abused you? That’s why my grandmother told me to protect you.”
I didn’t speak, trying to prolong the conversation as long as I could. I watched the wind whip around the yard, creating a cyclone of colorful leaves, swirling in the air. The trees themselves were swaying wildly in the brisk, unpredictable, autumn weather.
He took a few slow steps toward me, and gently touched my arms, as if I was suddenly breakable. “Please,” he whispered. “Open up to me.”
I knew the moment that I had dreaded since I met him had come. I could prolong it no more. I closed my eyes and sighed, giving up, and then slipped away from him. He watched me go into my room; his eyes were still on me when I returned, holding a book. I took a seat on the couch, tapping the cushion beside me for him to sit down. When he did, I handed him the paperback. He held it in his big hands, and rubbed his thumb over the embossed stone fountain on the cover. “Wendy’s Wish,” he read, his eyes shifting to mine. “What about it?”
“Turn it over.”
He did what I asked and stared at my picture. “It’s you,” he said, gazing at me in confusion.
I took a deep breath, resigned to tell the truth, and looked straight ahead. “My real name is Abigail Watson. I lived in an apartment next to your grandmother. My parents’ names are James and Laura Watson. About a year ago, I went to a bar with my sister Brenda and my best friend Debbie. I met a guy who I’d seen a few days before, and we started dating.” I paused, my heart raced as I thought of my next words. “Everything was going fine. I noticed that he had a temper a few times and he was jealous, but other than that he seemed normal. He was attentive, always complimented me, and gave me gifts. I thought I was lucky.” I paused, taking a peek to see if he was still with me.
“I’m guessing you were wrong,” he said, his voice low as he reached out and placed his hand on my knee. Warmth seeped through my worn jeans giving me the strength I needed.
I nodded. “About six months into the relationship he asked me to marry him. I said yes, and he moved in that day. I was sure he was the one, the ring he proposed with matched my locket, I thought it was a sign.”
“What locket?”
“My father,” I started but my voice cracked on the words. I squeezed my eyes shut and cleared my throat and tried again. “My father gave me a locket when I was little, he traveled a lot. He told me that whenever I wore it, he would always be with me. There was a picture of my parents inside. I lost it a year after he died, and my mother found it just before I met Nick.”
I stood up with a sigh and started to walk slowly around the room.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked, standing up.
“Sure, water please.” I sat down on the window seat, lifting my legs up to hug them, feeling nervous. I had told a few people about the abuse but no one as important as this man.
He came back and handed me a bottle of water, then sat down on the armchair facing me. “Okay, go on.” He twisted the top off his water bottle.
The rest of the story was stuck in my throat. I was so happy now. I didn’t want to relive it. Or bring Nick into what we had now. His vicious behavior would only taint our sweet, loving relationship. “I know you need to know this, but I really don’t want to tell you.” My voice broke on the last word.
“Why?” That one word was full of so much emotion, love, anger, frustration, and patience.
“Because that was my past. I don’t want it to ruin my future with you.”
He leaned forward, setting his bottle on the coffee table, the springs in the chair squeaking with his movement. “Nothing can touch what we have. I love you no matter what you tell me.”
I nodded, and although I didn’t entirely believe him, I was still comforted by his words. “That night we went for dinner at his parents to celebrate our engagement. His mother asked if I wanted to wear her wedding dress. I told her I was sorry but I couldn’t. Later when we were alone, I explained why.”
“What was the reason?”
“I wanted to wear my mother’s. I felt that if I wore her dress, my father would be there in some way.” I smiled as the memory of myself in her dress resurfaced. “His mother understood, and even gave me a hug. On the drive home Nick was quiet, and when I tried to explain why I had turned her down, he said he didn’t want to hear it. As I walked inside our apartment I turned to say something, but he hit me across the face before I could get a word out.”
Noah’s eyes turned cold; a vein in his neck throbbed as his hand clenched into a fist. “I want to kill him.” His voice was low and raspy, filled with hate. It reminded me of Nick. Again, I pushed the thought away. Noah was not like him. People had a right to get angry, I knew that. It’s what you did with that anger that mattered. And Noah would never hurt me or anyone. I just had to get that through my head. But it was hard. Living with a monster for a year wasn’t easy to forget.
“Get in line.” I sighed. “Do you want me to finish?” I asked, worried how he would take the rest. If he was upset over one slap, the rest would be difficult to hear.
He pursed his lips and nodded.
“I couldn’t believe he hit me. I had never seen him that way. Well, I’d seen him angry but nothing compared to that night. But believe me it got worse.”
“What did he do?”
I stood up and faced the window, watching the choppy waves crash against the dock. The wind was really starting to pick up. But here inside, the air was calm, for now. I didn’t want to tell him anymore, afraid of what he would think of me, and also how he would react, like the water outside in the
slow-churning storm. “All you need to know is that he got rough.”
The chair squeaked as he rose, and suddenly I felt him behind me. The warmth of him, comforted me, like a soft blanket on a cold night. I felt his breath against the back of my neck. “What did he do?”
Tears fell down my cheeks. My heart ached. Not because of what happened, that part of my life was over, but it ached for Noah, because I knew my next words would cut him deeply. He acted tough, but he loved with his whole heart. And hearing what I had to say would break it. “Please don’t make me tell you.” Just then his cell phone rang, interrupting the intense atmosphere. The shrill ring made me jump.
He stepped away. “Hello.” His tone was clipped. His face scrunched up as he listened to the person on the other end. “Oh shit, Wade, I’m sorry, we forgot. But we’re right in the middle of something here.”
The horses! We forgot about them. Even though they were the farthest thing from my mind, I’d rather be doing that. I wiped my tears away, and stood up straight, gathering courage.
“Okay, that’s good, goodbye.” He hung up, and shoved his phone back into his pocket. “He was calling to cancel. The weather.” He nodded out the window where the trees and leaves were whipping around like crazy.
I was hoping the interruption would make him forget, but when I looked at him, I knew I wasn’t going to be so lucky. “Abby, I need to know.”
“Why? Why do you need to know?” I asked, stepping toward him.
“Because I love you and we can’t have a relationship where we keep secrets from each other.” He touched my cheek, stroking it lovingly. His eyes told me I could trust him.
I sighed. “Fine, I ran into my room and locked it. I yelled to him that the wedding was off. I couldn’t be with a man who hits women. I packed his suitcases and planned to sneak out in the morning after he left for work.” I gulped as apprehension coursed through my veins. “A few hours later I had to pee. I opened the door and heard him snoring on the couch. When I started for the bathroom, he rushed at me and slammed me against the wall.” My hands began to shake. The images of that night rushed through my mind so vividly it was as if it were happening all over again. Noah gave one of my hands a little squeeze and I glanced at the floor, unable to look at him. “He said that since I was wearing his ring he had every right to do anything he wanted to me. Anything.” I looked up and raised my eyebrows, hoping he would guess, and I wouldn’t have to tell him.
“Did he....?” He trailed off, unable to say the words.
I nodded, suddenly feeling a bit of strength, anger surged through me as the memory surfaced. Don’t cry, don’t cry. “Yes, he raped me.”
Rage flashed over Noah’s face as he slammed his fist against the wall with a thundering crack. I jolted at the noise and closed my eyes. Cold hateful dark eyes glared back at me as his hands gripped my neck. I gasped for air, covering my face, my arms shaking with fear.
Noah wrapped his arms around me, pushing my face into his chest. His warmth and spicy, wood scent brought me back to the present. The image fell away as I opened my eyes. I sobbed into his shirt, comforted by his embrace. I felt protected in his arms. Nothing could ever hurt me again. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want you to think I’m like him.”
I had to stop comparing him to Nick. Noah did this out of frustration, because he wasn’t there to protect the woman he loved. Nick was the one who liked to cause harm. They were nothing alike and I finally knew that. Taking a deep calming breath, I pulled back so I could look him in the eye. “You are nothing like him, I know that.”
He hugged me again, burying his face in my shoulder, his breath heating my skin. “He will never touch you again, I promise you that,” he mumbled into my hair. We hugged for a few minutes, both of us finding comfort in the embrace. Finally letting me go, he asked, “Why didn’t you go to the police?”
I snorted. “I did the next day, but he’s a cop. His captain told me it was his word against mine. I saw Nick as I left the station so I knew I wasn’t safe. I went home gathered some stuff, and ran. He found me, and when we got home he choked me, telling me that if I ever left or went to his boss again, he’d kill me. I believed him, but from that moment on, I planned my escape. I left as soon as I could. I made sure everyone was safe. My family knew I was leaving. The day I left I told my mom so she could go stay with my sister and her husband.”
He fell into the sofa and ran his hand over his face. He didn’t speak for several minutes, letting everything process.
As I let my confession sink in, I wandered back over to the window to watch the waves in the water. Surprisingly, the wind was dying down, and the sun was peeking out through the clouds. The sky was brightening. Earlier, it looked like a storm was brewing; now it almost looked like it might turn out to be a nice day.
“How did Kathy find out?” His words startled me as I was gazing intently outside, amazed by the unpredictable weather.
I sat down on the window seat and faced him. He looked better; the shock and anger were gone from his face. “She saw my picture in a book store yesterday, and she bugged me until I told her. Sam knows too.”
His eyes narrowed. “So everyone knew but me?”
“He saw my picture at work, so he knew I was running from someone. But he didn’t ask who, he just wanted me to know he wouldn’t say anything as long as I hadn’t done anything illegal.”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”
“He wanted me to confess to both of you. He even told Kathy to remind me of that when you wouldn’t talk to me.” I shrugged. “I was afraid to.”
“Oh God, I feel awful for pressuring you. If I’d known what you went through…” He trailed off, shaking his head again.
“It’s okay, as long as you still love me.”
His eyes widened as he stood up, filling the gap between us, pulling me into a hug. “Of course I still love you. Nothing will change that.” Again, we held each other, the mood slowly lightening.
He drew back looking into my eyes. “So what do you want to do now?” He glanced outside, where the sun was now out. The wind was still blowing, but definitely not as strong. “The wind is dying down. Do you want me to call Wade to see if he wants us to take the horses out?”
I grinned, grateful that after everything he had learned, nothing had changed. “I would like to. I don’t want this change anything. That’s why I took so long to tell you.”
“Let’s go then.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Pictures
The ride felt amazing. The weather had indeed turned for the better. The sun remained shining above us, and the air was warm, but the wind still had a bite to it. The colorful wilted leaves lay like a blanket along the path, hiding the foliage underneath. The air smelled of those leaves and pine.
We went to the small pond that he had taken me to on our first ride. We tied up the horses and sat on the large flat rock overlooking the water. “On the way over here, I remembered something my grandmother said a few years ago. She was bragging to me about her gorgeous neighbor who was a famous author. She wanted to set me up with her, but I still wasn’t ready after what happened with Becca.” He took a deep breath running his hand through his already unruly hair. “I’m so sorry. If I had listened to her…” He trailed off as I shook my head.
I reached out, laying my hand on his thigh. “She said the same to me, that she had a grandson she was sure I’d like. Right before I met Nick, I also told her no. I had been fixed up before and it didn’t go so well. We weren’t meant to be until now. What-ifs, can’t change what happened, Noah, nothing can.”
He nodded solemnly. “You’re right. I’d like to tell my grandma about us if we can.”
Fear snaked up my spine at the thought of reaching out to anyone from Renwood. What if he found me? My life was beyond perfect, I was terrified to jeopardize that. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. When I was at the library, I managed to email Debbie, my
editor. She told me that he was losing it. She thinks he’s so controlling over me that it’s driving him crazy that he can’t find me. We should be extra careful. I don’t think he’d tap your mother’s phone, but you never know.”
He reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of my face. “You sure it’s wise to email your editor?”
I grabbed his hand and held it, his fingers linked through mine. “I emailed her under the name of another writer, and sent her a note in an attachment, with instructions for her to delete it.”
His lips twitched. “You’re sneaky.”
“I’ve had to be over the last ten months.”
“You’re not alone anymore, we’re in this together.”
I leaned into him, resting against his shoulder. “Thank you. I feel like having Kathy and Sam over tonight. What do you think?”
“Good idea. Kathy’s probably going crazy wondering what happened between the two of us.” He grinned, leaning in for a brief kiss. “And I’d like to talk to Sam about this. Find out how to keep you safe.”
I nodded as he wrapped his arm around me. We snuggled on the rock, enjoying the view.
“So is there anything we can do to get this guy?” Noah asked Sam after telling him all the gory details. “Abby said the captain didn’t believe her.” We had just finished dinner—spaghetti that I had made. It was only the fourth time I had cooked for Noah, and I wanted him to know that I appreciated him. We were all sitting around the table discussing my life.
I cleared my throat. “Um...can we stick with Anna?” I nodded toward the boys. “I think it’s best if the townspeople didn’t know my true identity.”
Three sets of eyes turned to me. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I didn’t think of that. You’re right.” Noah reached over and laid his hand on my knee. Sam and Kathy nodded their agreements.
“Jamie, stop hitting your brother,” Kathy yelled at her son who was deep in a game of Mario Kart with his brother. Jamie apparently didn’t like the fact that Jeremy beat him in a race.
Finding Abigail Page 26