Adam slowly grinned at me. “I’d like that,” he said, his nervousness evaporating. He twisted his fingers into mine and squeezed lightly.
We went to a kid-friendly pizza place at the end of town. In an echo of my earlier thoughts, I vaguely remembered coming here before with Dad and Ian. Now, the three of us sat at a booth in the middle of the restaurant, and while Ethan munched happily on a breadstick and drew pictures on his menu, I leaned closer to Adam, feeling his warm and solid weight.
“It’s good to be back,” I said.
“It’s good to have you back,” he said, looping an arm around my shoulders. He paused. “I bet it was nice being back home for a while though, wasn’t it?”
“I’m not going to lie, I did kind of get used to being warm again,” I joked. “And it was good to get to see Ian more. I know he kind of screwed things up at the mountain while he was here, but he was just doing what he thought was best. The same as he did with the casino business really.”
I paused, reflecting on that for a moment. Then, I shrugged. “At the end of the day, he’s still family. And I love him.”
But now, sitting here with Adam and Ethan, I started to wonder whether maybe it was time to start the next chapter of ‘family’ in my life. Because this certainly felt comfortable. And when I thought back over the whole afternoon, well, it felt like we belonged together. From helping Ethan into his ski boots to riding up the chairlift together to getting pizza now, it just felt right.
“What’s your favorite kind of pizza?” Ethan asked suddenly, peering over at me.
“Hmm, I think my favorite is probably barbecue chicken,” I said, looking down at the menu. “What’s your favorite?”
“Pepperoni and mushrooms!” Ethan declared. “Dad, can we get pepperoni and mushrooms? Please?”
Adam grimaced in apology to me. “Not everyone likes mushrooms on their pizza, remember?” he told Ethan. “If we want to get something to share, we might have to make some compromises.”
Ethan sighed. “No one ever wants pepperoni and mushrooms,” he said.
I tried not to laugh. “I don’t know many kids your age who like mushrooms at all, especially not on pizza,” I said.
Ethan shrugged. “They’re the best,” he said simply.
“Well, how about this,” I suggested, looking over at Adam. “We can get one big pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms on one half and whatever your dad likes on the other half? I’d eat some pepperoni and mushroom pizza with you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Adam interjected. “We can just get pepperoni and something else; he’ll like it just as much.”
“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” I insisted. “And anyway, it’s his favorite. I want him to have what he wants.”
Adam stared at me for another moment and then rolled his eyes fondly. “You’re spoiling him again,” he said.
“So what if I am?” I replied breezily.
Adam grinned and just shook his head.
We ate way too much pizza and still had more to box up at the end of the night, and I made Ethan shriek with laughter when I joked that I was going to take home all of the pepperoni and mushroom pizza because I liked it better than he did. Adam just watched the two of us, still looking a bit bewildered. But every time I caught his eye, he grinned at me.
I gave Ethan a quick hug when we got back to the condo and prepared to go our separate ways for the night. Of course, I wanted nothing more than to go home with the two of them. But I could tell that Adam was still a little shell-shocked at how well Ethan and I were getting along, and I reminded myself that he had already asked me multiple times to be patient with him. This was all new, and I could tell that although he was happy with the way things were going, he needed time to process it.
Ethan clung to me now, though. “I’m happy you’re back,” he said.
“Me too, kiddo,” I said seriously. “Me too.”
“I love you,” Ethan said as he pulled away. The words slipped so easily out of his mouth
I grinned down at him. “Love you too,” I said. “And see you soon, okay?”
Ethan nodded and climbed into the car while Adam pulled me close, his hands on my hips. “Sorry about that,” he said as he nuzzled my jawline.
I blinked in surprise and then shook my head. “You don’t have to apologize,” I chided. “I had fun today. With the skiing and dinner. Everything. Ethan’s great.”
Adam stared at me for a moment, and I could tell he was trying to decide whether to believe me or not. “All right,” he finally said. “But still, I’m sorry about the ‘I love you’ thing. He doesn’t really understand what it means.”
I snorted. “Adam, it’s fine. Really.” I paused, grinning at him. “Now I’m just waiting for a certain someone else to say it.” Adam grimaced and started to pull away, but I caught him before he could go very far. “Hey, I was just kidding. I’m sorry,” I said.
Adam shook his head. “Don’t be,” he said. Then, he sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, I’m just still…” Again, he trailed off.
“Trying to process,” I suggested. “I know. I can practically see the gears turning in your head. Just don’t think too hard.”
Adam chuckled and shrugged. Then, he leaned in and kissed me gently. It was a pretty tame kiss, all things considered, but then again, Ethan was right there in the car, able to see his dad’s every move. Adam was right, there were still certain things that I had to get used to with having a kid around all the time. But I didn’t mind it. In fact, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
We stood there for a moment, still pressed close to one another. Finally, Adam sighed softly. “Would it be stupid to say that I’m going to miss you?” he asked. Then, he looked embarrassed for having said that.
I grinned before he could backpedal. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” I promised him. “And every day for the rest of the season, I hope.”
“Good,” Adam said, sounding relieved. He smiled as he let me go. “I guess I should let you get inside before you freeze. But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
65
Adam
I had expected Bailey to have a more difficult time fitting into Ethan’s and my life. I don’t know why I had expected that. Maybe because I remembered how difficult things were when Beth and I first had Ethan. But of course, Ethan wasn’t a crying infant anymore. And not only that, but Bailey was fun in a way that I should have realized she would be.
She wanted to do everything with Ethan; go skiing, go to the zoo in Salt Lake, and really do anything that involved being outdoors. She wanted to spend time with us. Not only that, but she wanted to fit her schedule around ours. She had taken back over a lot of the work in running the resort, on top of the work that she was still doing for the Peters family business.
I could imagine just how much work she was doing at the moment, having taken on a lot of those same duties in running the resort while she was gone, on top of the other duties that I needed to do around the resort. In addition to all of that, she was trying to spend as much time as she could with us.
She and Ethan were getting closer and closer. And I couldn’t help but love watching the two of them interact with one another. I couldn’t help but…love Bailey. In everything that she did, she was just so sweet. Smart. Caring.
But I still couldn’t seem to tell her that.
I wanted to. I really wanted to. But something made me hold back each time. At first, I thought that maybe I wanted to save it for a special occasion. But then, I started to realize that it wasn’t that. I wasn’t waiting for the right moment. I was waiting more for the moment when I could trust this relationship, I supposed.
I didn’t want to say that I was still waiting for Bailey to leave. But I think there was a part of me that was expecting that. Holding back. Trying not to fall in too deep. Maybe it had more to do with what Ian had said to me before about not deserving someone like Bailey. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that I had already lost the first love o
f my life, my first wife.
I found myself getting more and more relaxed around her. But all the same, it was hard for me to commit to her as deeply as I wanted to.
Especially in the middle of the winter ski season, when there was still plenty of work for me to do around the resort.
And now, here we were, right back at the airport again.
“This is the last time. I swear,” Bailey sighed as she lugged her duffel bag out of my truck. “And seriously, just a week or two this time. Maximum.”
“You said that last time,” I reminded her, but I couldn’t help grinning.
“This time I mean it,” Bailey said. She smiled. “You’re welcome to come back to Vegas to drag me home again if you think that’s what’s needed, though.”
I laughed and put an arm around her. “Hopefully I won’t need to do that this time,” I said, squeezing her shoulder and trying not to let on how nervous I felt about her departure. I knew that she needed to go back and straighten out some final things with the family business. But at the same time, I selfishly wanted her to stay.
Bailey sighed. “I wish I could stay,” she sighed, as though she had read my thoughts. She leaned into me. “But I’ll be back before you know it. I just have this one last meeting with Ian and the head of the board of directors, just to follow up with everything.” She shook her head. “And hopefully at the end of this, I can quit working for the casino and get back to work with the resort the way that I want to.”
“I can’t wait,” I said quietly. I looked down into her eyes, brushing my fingers along her cheek. Then, I cleared my throat, remembering that Ethan was standing there next to the car with me. “We’re going to miss you.”
Bailey laughed and knelt down in front of Ethan. “I’m going to miss both of you too,” she said, giving Ethan a hug. “I’ll make sure to bring you back something cool.” She winked at Ethan while I groaned.
“Spoiling him,” I reminded her, grinning. It had been a common theme over the past month since she had come back from Vegas, but as she kept reminding me, I couldn’t really argue if she wanted to spoil him. Especially since, as she kept telling me, I didn’t do nearly enough to spoil the boy on my own.
We’d originally argued about that, actually. Or not argued, per se, but we had had a bit of a disagreement one day. I’d tried to tell her that I had certain rules as a parent. That I wanted Ethan to learn to work harder for what he wanted. That I wanted him to understand the simplicity of a good day spent outside, either skiing or working with his hands. Or something.
I was surprised to hear Bailey first say the same thing that Dad had said to me; Ethan was a good kid, and I shouldn’t be worried about the way that she wanted to spoil him. But then, she’d added something else; she wanted to do things outside with him, but at the same time, he should get to do whatever he wanted to do now while he was a kid.
It was something that made me think. I wanted Ethan to be happy, but sometimes, maybe I did treat him a little too much like an adult and less like a kid. And that was something that was different between Bailey and I.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t just that Ethan needed a female presence in his life. It was more that he needed someone just like Bailey in his life. Someone who was going to be sweet to him and treat him like the kid that he was. Someone who was going to be warm and open with him. As much as I and his grandfather tried to be open with him, Dad and I were just a bit careful, I suppose.
So now, watching her say goodbye to Ethan, my heart hurt. I didn’t want her to leave, not for me and definitely not when it came to Ethan. I didn’t want him to miss her, and I would do anything I could to shield him from that. But Ethan seemed surprisingly okay with things. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised her.
Bailey laughed. “Very soon,” she agreed seriously. Then, she straightened up.
I gave her a hug and a quick kiss which she returned. “Soon,” I told her. And right then, the words bubbled to the surface; I love you. But still, I held them back. I didn’t want to say that to her now. If she didn’t come back, I would be gutted. The whole time she was gone, I would be wondering if maybe I had said something that I shouldn’t have, right then. I would be wondering what her real reaction to those words was.
I held back. She didn’t seem surprised, grinning a little as she leaned in for another kiss. As she pulled away and winked at me, I knew that she knew just what she had done. With that little kiss, she had kept me from feeling as though I had to say anything in response. She had kept me from feeling as though I needed to make an excuse.
I couldn’t begin to tell her how wonderful she was. She just got me in a way that no one ever had before. She didn’t take my inability to tell her that I loved her as a slight. Instead, it was a little secret between the two of us. She knew just how I felt about her.
I loved her all the more because of that.
Bailey headed into the airport, looking back over her shoulder to wave at the two of us, and it was all I could do not to go after her. There was a part of me that wanted to tell her that I didn’t want her to leave. That wanted to profess my love to her and tell her that I was afraid to lose her. There was a part of me that wanted to maybe pull Ethan out of school so that we could follow her to Vegas.
But I knew that Ethan and I belonged here. And I was starting to realize that Bailey did as well. She belonged at the resort, and she belonged by the fire with us. She belonged with us when we went skiing together, and she belonged with us when we did other things outdoors.
She belonged in our lives. In a way that I never could have expected.
“I miss Bailey,” Ethan said as he and I stopped for dinner on the way home.
“Me too, buddy,” I sighed, trying not to sound too sad at losing her. She would be back, I promised myself, even though just like with the first time, I was afraid that it might take a little while before we saw her again.
“When will she be back?” he pressed.
I didn’t know what to say to that. “I don’t know,” I finally settled on. “She needs to finish up some work, and she needs to chat with some people to make that happen. I’m sure she’ll be back as soon as possible, though.”
“Well yeah, she promised that,” Ethan said, rolling his eyes. “Duh.”
I grinned at him, unable to help it. “And until then, I guess you’ll just have to keep getting better at skiing,” I joked.
“Uh huh,” Ethan said. He cocked his head to the side as he picked up his burger. “Are you going to marry her?”
I stared at him for a moment, surprised by the question. Not that I should be. I knew that kids Ethan’s age asked questions like that all the time. They were inquisitive, and they didn’t understand that there were some things that an adult might like to keep private. They didn’t understand that questions like that could hurt a person.
How did I respond?
The truth was, when I thought about Bailey, it was easy to think about marrying her. She fit so perfectly into my life and Ethan’s life. She was there for us in ways that I never could have expected. At the end of the day, there was no one else that I could picture by my side, not now that Beth was gone.
She was different from Beth. But I was different from the man that I had been as well. And somehow, she and I fit together so perfectly.
“I don’t know,” I finally told Ethan in response to his question.
“But you love her, don’t you?” Ethan persisted.
Again, I had to stare at him for a moment, trying to figure out just what to say to him. Slowly, I nodded. “I do love her,” I admitted. I paused. “You love her too, don’t you?”
“She’s the best,” Ethan said simply. But he was frowning. “Did you tell her that you love her?”
“Not yet,” I admitted.
“Why not?” Ethan asked, sounding genuinely confused. And for his young mind, it probably seemed so obvious that I should tell her. After all, if I loved her, why not let her
know that? Even he had managed to tell Bailey that he loved her. How did I explain to him that things could be so complicated sometimes in adult relationships?
But suddenly, Ethan grinned. “It’s a secret surprise,” he said confidently.
I nodded slowly. “It’s a secret surprise. For now,” I agreed.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Ethan promised. He paused. “But maybe if you told her, she would stop going away.”
I sighed. “I know, buddy,” I said.
Of course, it was more complicated than that. Just because I told Bailey I loved her, it didn’t make her responsibilities to her brother and the family company magically vanish. But at the same time, I knew that Ethan was right and that I should tell her. Not only that, but I had the feeling that if I could just tell Bailey that I loved her, maybe I wouldn’t have to worry every time that she wasn’t going to come back. Maybe I wouldn’t have to worry that she would find someone else who would say those three words to her first.
I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her how I felt.
But I needed to do that in person. Meaning that I had missed my chance for now and needed to wait until she was back from Vegas. No sweat, right?
I felt nervous already, and I knew that I was going to feel this way until she got back. But for the first time, I realized that the nervousness was actually more made up of excitement than fear. I knew that Bailey and I were on the same page and that she loved me. I wasn’t afraid that if I told her I loved her, she would leave me. Instead, I was more excited for the future that we would build together. Sure, it might be a little scary, but it was also a wonderful thing, to be at this place in a relationship.
I had to start treating it that way, rather than worrying all the time.
I smiled at Ethan, and he beamed toothily back at me. He didn’t know what was going through my head, but as far as he was concerned, I loved the same person that he loved, and all was right in his world. Maybe it really could be just that simple.
One Shot At Love: A Billionaire Single Father Romance Page 37