I tried to carry on through the day with as much normalcy as I could muster, but there was a constant gnawing in my stomach. I forced myself to shower and when I returned to our room Ava and Daliah were awake. The four of us went to the café to have brunch, still wearing our pajamas. The temperature had risen slightly so we ate outside on the balcony at my favorite spot. I picked at a bagel, but when everyone had finished their food, most of the bagel was in pieces scattered on my plate.
“I wish I could pull off short hair like her,” Ava mused as she eyed the first year student at the table closest to us. Her hair was a similar shade to Ava’s but was cut shoulder length.
“I like your hair just fine,” Daliah said before taking a sip of her orange juice.
I heard the door to the balcony open and Professor Rose stepped out. The wind blew back her grey hair, making her look as beautiful as ever, and I leaned forward to see whose hand was holding the door open for her. Professor Howard stepped into the sunlight. They walked to the edge of the balcony together. Professor Rose wore a smile on her pink lips as she spoke to him. When she leaned forward onto the railing, he placed his hand on the back of her white dress.
“You know, I heard they were together,” Daliah whispered and I noticed she was looking at Professor Rose and Professor Howard, too. Lillian turned all the way around in her seat to gaze at them.
“Don’t look!” Ava hissed, using her long red hair as shield to peak through without being caught staring at the pair.
“They’re not paying attention to us anyway,” Lillian said. Ava rolled her eyes. “Look at his hand! Maybe they are together.”
“No way,” I objected. Professor Howard was gorgeous, but I could tell from our meetings he and Professor Rose would not be a match. Professor Rose radiated light and carried herself with such grace. She worshiped the Divinity. Not to mention her brilliance. Not that Professor Howard wasn’t brilliant in his own right, but nothing like Rose. Plus, his office was decorated with the Fallen Angel, and I had a feeling he wasn’t above using dark magic. Professor Rose seemed to have high standards in all avenues of her life. She wouldn’t settle for less than perfection. And, even though I liked him as a professor and a mentor, Howard just didn’t meet that description.
“I’m serious,” Daliah whispered. “A guy in my Elemental class said he saw Professor Rose leave Howard’s room in the middle of the night a few weeks ago. It was obviously not a school-related meeting.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked.
Just then Professor Rose laughed so loudly we heard it on the other side of the balcony. Rose turned to gaze at the view, but Howard’s eyes didn’t leave her face.
“Hmmm,” I pondered. “He is really giving her the eyes, isn’t he?” Maybe they were an item and my instincts weren’t as spot on as Lillian claimed. “Why would they keep it a secret?”
“They probably don’t want kids like us gossiping about their personal lives all day,” Lillian laughed.
“We’ll talk anyway. There isn’t much else to do on this island,” Ava mused, sighing dramatically like her life was such a bore. She placed her chin on her hands and gazed at Rose enviously. “I wouldn’t blame Rose for wanting him. He is hot. Who cares who he worships?”
“Not Professor Rose, obviously,” Daliah smiled. I felt guilty gossiping about someone I looked up to so much. I should probably feel guilty gossiping about anyone in general, but Rose dedicated a majority of her life to teaching teenagers like us magic. She lived at the school with us. I wanted to respect the small amount of privacy she had. The same applied to all of my professors, including Professor Howard.
“Well, hello ladies,” Professor Howard proclaimed over my shoulder, appearing out of thin air. I turned around slowly to greet him and prayed he hadn’t heard our conversation. Ava and Daliah clearly had the same fear I did. Daliah cheeks were red and Ava was twirling her hair around her finger.
“Hello, Professor Howard,” we said in unison.
“How are you on this fine day?” Professor Howard asked.
“Just fine. How are you?” I responded.
“Oh, I’m dandy. What were you ladies discussing?” My heart thudded and my words got caught in my throat. He had heard us. I tried to think of something else—anything else—to claim we were discussing, but my mind was blank. Thankfully, Lillian spoke up.
“Ava was just saying she wished she could pull off short hair,” Lillian shrugged easily.
Professor Howard looked Ava up and down before saying, “You would look dashing with short hair, Ava.” Ava blushed deeply, and Howard winked at me slyly before turning around to return to Professor Rose by the balcony.
“You guys ready?” I asked abruptly, standing before they could answer. I didn’t want to risk Howard hearing anymore of our conversations. That encounter was uncomfortable enough.
“Sure,” Lillian said. We all gathered our trays and trash and we walked into the café.
As we made our way to the exit, after dumping our trays, I saw Miles walking right towards us. Lillian saw him, too, and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. My face told her what she needed to know. “Let’s head back to the room and give these two love birds some privacy,” she suggested. The three of them disappeared around the corner, but I heard Ava giggling all the way down the hall. Miles smiled as soon as I moved towards him. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent, like he hadn’t slept at all. He quickened his pace to close the distance between us. When he finally made it to me, he lifted me up and swung me around, burying his face in my hair. When my feet hit the floor again, I noticed several students staring at us and my cheeks flushed pink. I guess we were officially public now. If this many people saw us, the whole school would soon know we were together. Like Ava said, there wasn’t much to do on this island besides talk.
“Hey,” he laughed. How could he be in such a good mood if he was as exhausted as he looked?
“Hey,” I responded, feeling the anxiety drift away and the wholeness fill my chest. I had never been more relieved to see someone. “Are you okay?” I leaned forward brushing the dark spots under his eyes and placing my hands on his cheeks. He enveloped my hands in his and kissed each of them.
“I’m better now.” It looked like he meant it. Like this feeling that filled my chest was filling his, too. I tore my eyes away from his for the first time since I saw him cross the room and realized right away that he was still wearing the clothes he had on when he left me yesterday.
“You look exhausted,” I said, stating the obvious.
“I am. I haven’t been asleep since I saw you last,” he explained while glancing over his shoulder at the people closest to us. Their table had suddenly fallen silent. They were probably listening to every word we said. “Let’s talk somewhere else.”
We moved our conversation back to the balcony, where only a couple students were sitting. I noticed Professor Rose and Professor Howard were no longer leaning on the railing, and I wondered if they’d gone somewhere else together. Miles chose the table furthest from the other students and sat down. I sat in the chair next to him and tucked myself under his arm. He wrapped it around my shoulder, rubbing my arm as if to keep me warm.
Miles started to explain what happened to him yesterday in a hushed tone, saying when he got back to his room after the assembly a guard was waiting for him. “He didn’t even say anything when he saw me. He just held up the book and started walking down the hall. I knew to follow him. We went straight to Craw’s office. She didn’t seem surprised to see me.” He continued, saying he had stayed up all night being questioned by the guards. Around 5:00 a.m., Craw came into the room to talk to him. “Like I said, she didn’t seem surprised to see me. Like you said yesterday, she knew I read that spell somewhere. She asked me a lot of questions about my family and home life...mostly about my mom. I think that’s why she kept me there for so long and had the guards question me first. She needed to make sure I wasn’t in contact with my mother. That I wouldn’t follow
the Fallen Angel like she had. And like Craw had previously.” He paused to take a deep breath. I could tell that talking about his mother hurt him. Even though they hadn’t been close like me and my mom, he still felt abandoned.
“Whatever I told her must have convinced her I had nothing to do with what happened. Craw let me go after that, but she didn’t give my book back. She warned me to never mess with that magic again because it can turn even the best witches into something bad, even if they don’t want to go there, even if they don’t realize what’s happening. I wonder if that’s what happened to her, if that’s how she got mixed in with the Fallen Angel.”
“Maybe she’s right, Miles,” I offered, delicately choosing my words, so he knew I trusted him, but that I was also worried. “Who knows what reading all those spells does to your mind.” His expression changed and I worried he felt like I wasn’t on his side. “I just want you to be careful. If something bad happened to you I don’t know if I could take it.” I had suffered enough loss for a lifetime. I couldn’t handle the boy I was falling for turning into a Follower.
“I appreciate you saying that. And you’re right. No more dark magic.” Miles was quiet then, looking out at the tall grass swaying the wind. I was more interested in the view in front of me, watching his curls dance as the breeze blew through them. He looked back at me and smiled suddenly before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “On a different note…” he said in a lighter tone, still smiling.
“What?” I asked nervously, leaning back and narrowing my eyes.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something, and last night I was terrified I would be locked away without having the chance to do it. I won’t let this moment escape me again. So, Josie Grace Parker, would you go to the Hallow’s Eve dance with me?” He basically yelled this part of the conversation, making sure the two students on the balcony, and maybe even some inside the café, could hear his words. I blushed a deep red when people turned to look at us, but loved every second of it. He was proud to be with me.
“Yes,” I whispered, giggling.
“She said ‘yes!’ She said ‘yes!’” He cheered, lifting his hands in the arm and standing. He picked me up from my chair and twirled me around again.
“This is ridiculous!” I giggled. And it was. But I had never loved something so ridiculous the way I loved this moment.
A New Normal
The next few days came and went without anything out of the ordinary happening. On Sunday, everyone was still anxious—like we were standing on the edge of a cliff knowing someone was coming to push us off, but unable to watch their approach. We were all sure another attack was approaching. But it never did. By Thursday, everyone was a little more at ease; not fully relaxed, but less tense than before.
We continued going to our classes and doing our homework. Life went on, and by Friday, I could tell everyone was almost back to normal, with the exception of a few first year students. It was strange how quickly people seemed to forget the danger. The guards still stood in most hallways and the absence of the young girl, Laura, was still there, but people were doing what they had to do. The school held a memorial service for Laura on Monday night. We stood on the front lawn of the school, each holding a small, white candle in our hands. I’d bet every single student in the school was there. Even though we didn’t all know her, she was part of us, part of our family. We felt protective of each other even if we weren’t best friends. Despite the fact that most were carrying on like normal, we were all aware of the fact that it could have easily been one of us, and this knowledge created a unity at the school like I had never seen before.
Headmistress Craw also had a huge flower arrangement placed in the garden. It was filled with tropical leaves and neon flowers that were native to Laura’s home country. It stood out from all the green. Her school picture was placed in the middle of the arrangement. I saw it every day as I walked to class. She wore her school colors and smiled a somewhat forced smile for the camera while posing in front of a black background. Her hair was twisted in a perfect French braid. I wished they had chosen a different picture. Maybe a silly one her friend had taken of her laughing or one of her off guard at the café. I wanted to know more about what she was really like, but the school photo didn’t leave much room for personality. Still, it was the only reminder that even though things seemed normal in my small world, they would never be the same. Not for the girl or her family. Not for our school. And the mystery remained. There were still no answers for the thousands of questions about Laura’s incomprehensible death.
In my world, Miles and I grew closer. Quickly. Perhaps it was because of how strong our connection naturally was. Maybe it was because we had gone through a tragic event recently. Probably a little of both. Whatever the reason was, I felt closer to Miles than I had ever felt to someone. All of the things I loved about him while we were just friends were amplified. His sense of humor, his kindness, his smile, how open he was. We spent nearly every second of our free time together that week.
However, I reserved Saturday night for Lillian. She wanted to go dress shopping for the Hallow’s Eve dance next Friday. Our tiny island didn’t have shops of any kind though, so a few times a year when a special occasion was coming up the school would bring in a shop. They used one of the rooms near the opening of the school and once you walked in you didn’t feel like you were at school anymore. Instead you were stepping into a real boutique. It reminded me of shopping with my mom, who was basically a shopping addict. When I was growing up, we would spend hours of our weekends visiting shop after shop, looking for unique items that neither of us truly needed. I was glad Lillian was also a shopping addict because I missed those days with my mom, and this was as close to them as I would get.
“I really want something that pops this year!” Lillian said as we entered the shop. There were white curtains hanging everywhere, despite the fact that there were no windows in the room, and too many racks to count. All the dresses in my line of sight appeared to be high end, and I immediately knew there was no way I would be able to afford one.
“You always wear something that pops,” I teased. My dad usually sent me spending money every other month. It wasn’t much, but it was all we could afford since he was never able to return to work after the accident. He must have forgotten the past few months, though, and my funds were running low. I could have called to remind him, but the inevitable silence on the other end wasn’t really worth the money to buy some random dress. I could just wear an old one hanging in my closet or maybe Ava had one I could borrow. We were about the same size.
Now I couldn’t help but picture my dad sitting in his armchair wearing his grey robe. Alone. The TV would be on, but he wouldn’t really be paying attention. Just staring into space. That’s what I came home to each summer. Nothing ever changed. Thankfully, the house was always as neat and organized just as I had left it, like it was frozen in time. Not because my dad spent time cleaning, but because it was like no one lived there at all. The only way to tell any time had passed was to look at the dust collecting on top of the surfaces. I cringed away from the thought and realized I had been zoned out of the conversation with Lillian. I tried to tune back in. “—like, not revealing, but different. You know what I mean?” She was fanning through her second rack of dresses rather quickly, completely passing over any neutral colors.
“Mmhm,” I mumbled. She glanced over at me, disapproving of my apathetic attitude. “Sorry,” I sighed. I hated sucking the joy out of the things Lillian loved. “My mind is just...somewhere else I guess.”
“You of all people should be excited for this dance. You actually have a date you like. I’m going dateless once again without even my best friend to comfort me.” She put her palm over her forehead and leaned back like she was feeling faint from the idea.
I rolled my eyes. “You are obviously going to hang out with us the whole night. I have two dates this year.”
“Lucky you!” She started forming a small pile of opt
ions on her right arm while continuing the search with her left. “Can you help me out, please?” she asked as she reached me a neon yellow, ruffled dress.
“Really? This one?” I questioned, raising my eyebrows as I held it in front of me. It looked like a horrible bridesmaid dress from the 80’s.
“I want to try everything! Aren’t you going to try on something?” I thought about lying, coming up with some other reason for not buying a new dress and rewearing an older one that would probably be slightly snug, but Lillian wouldn’t buy it. So, I opted for the truth.
“I don’t have the money right now. So, I’m just going to wear one of my old ones.” I shrugged.
“No, no, no.” Here we go. An offer to pay for my dress. I knew it came from a place of love, but nothing made me more uncomfortable. Her family had already spent more money on me than I could count. They were especially generous when my mom passed away. “Let me get you something. Seriously. I have leftover money this month anyway.”
“No, Lillian,” I said more sternly than I meant to. “I don’t need a whole new dress anyway.” Lillian was quiet for a moment, probably contemplating pushing the situation further, but she decided against it.
“Well, here, at least try a few on with me so I don’t feel lonely. Then, if you decide you love one, I can get it for you.” She said this as she held up a gorgeous, black dress. I couldn’t resist. I was weak.
“I’ll try it on, but you are not buying it.” Lillian nodded like she understood. She handed me the dress and we headed to the changing rooms. I knew she would truly love to buy me the dress. She would never hold it against me or act as if I owed her something. Lillian was a true friend. We were really like family now, and family helped each other out. But it wasn’t Lillian’s fault my mother was gone and my father was unstable. She had big plans after school and she needed to save her money for the future, not blow it on a dress that wasn’t even for her. Just for a silly dance. So, I needed to be a true friend in return and make sure she planned for her future that held endless possibilities.
North End: The Black Forest Page 9