by Carol Robi
"Caroline, absorb the Essence. We don't want our position to be detected by the fallen. Quick, keep it in!" Uriel calls, not averting her face from Ariel.
"How?" I ask, my voice croaking.
"Like you did at the epitome, right before you transfigured us," she calls impatiently at my question.
I daren't question her again. I have a vague idea of what she means though. So I push my head backwards, close my eyes and inhale deep and long, letting the Essence fill me up.
I inhale it all continuously, not letting any of it leave me, until I feel my head begin to float, as the intoxication settles in me. I have never inhaled so much of it before without letting go, and even as I get closer to passing out, and my world begins spinning fast around me, I keep pulling whatever is left of it in the air, until nothing is left.
I know my eyes are partly opened, for some light is seeping in through them, but I cannot make out anything anymore.
My head is now jumbled with incoherent thoughts, my muscles completely give way and I crash backwards onto the ground below, my knees still folded under me from my awkward stumble when Raphael had let go earlier.
Chapter 17
"Caroline?"
That’s my name! I think to myself groggily.
There’s an energy pressing so tightly against me, begging to burst out, threatening to tear me up when it manages to get out, but I don't let it. I press my lips tightly together, fearing it could escape as a gasp. I daren't breathe, afraid that it might just escape when I exhale. I concentrate hard at holding my breath, until my head starts throbbing, and my muscles begin to spasm involuntarily. Is the Essence attempting to rip out through me? I think hazily. Not today. Uriel said I was to keep it in. My eyes start rolling to the back of my head, and something moist foams in my mouth.
"Caroline?" I hear my name being called from miles away. I then feel my body being gently lifted off the ground. My eyes push open further, staring into the jumbled images before me.
Images, hazy and indeterminate, dance before me. Images of pure colours, brilliant browns and golds, blues and bronzes, blacks and greys, silvers and whites. But most dominant of all are the swirls of blue, azure blue, right before me.
"Raphael." I mumble groggily, trying to lift my hand to touch the beautiful swirl of colours, but my hand falls back listlessly midway. It just feels too heavy to lift it again, so I give up.
“Caroline!” A distant voice calls impatiently.
I close my eyes, and wait a moment before prying them open again, and this time my vision is clearer.
I look around me through the slits between my heavy eyelids, seeing the rocky walls enclosing around us. I try to warn him, to tell him that the walls are closing in, but I can't work my mouth.
I give up on warning him about the walls that are about to crush us, close my eyes again, and instead concentrate on absorbing the intoxicatingly sweet Essence in the air just like Uriel instructed.
Someone is shaking me, calling my name, and pumping at my chest, trying to force me to open up. But I do not let go. I hang on with every ounce of my being. Uriel said to keep it in.
Searing heat is trying to find its way inside me, but I don't let it. If I let anything in, I might let the Essence out by mistake, and Uriel said to keep it in...
A hard smack lands on my face with so much force, jerking my head to my left so fast that the wind is knocked out of me. The wind, and something else. My insides are painfully raw, as I rasp after air, but when I try to swallow it in, I choke. I can feeling my chest burning, and spots of red and black are swimming in my head.
Oh God, I can't breathe! I think in panic. Only managing to take a larger gulp of air that once again chokes me. Someone lifts me slightly, turns me, and a slap lands between my shoulder blades, forcing me to cough and spurt out whatever was choking me and constricting my throat. Spasms rock my body, and involuntary twitches take control of my body as the first gulp of air makes it through my constricted airway.
A hand is supporting my chest, and another is rubbing my back gently, urging me to breathe. My sharp intakes for air and the spasms keep rocking through my body as I slowly recover. My eyes are pressed tightly shut, and they feel wet around them. Have I been crying? I pry my eyes open, but all I see is darkness and the stars continue dancing in my head, the swirls of colours now gone.
Slowly my vision clears, and my other sense too, for I begin to hear voices, at first their words indeterminate, and then they begin to come in focus. They are spoken in a strange tongue, but I understand them.
"Why can't you heal her?"
"Because she isn't ill or hurt against her will. She was doing it to herself willingly."
"But why?"
"Why? You ask why? You told her to!"
"I... To avoid detection... I did not mean that...”
"You should have told her to take as much as she could handle!"
"I am sorry...”
"We could have lost our only chance to going back home just because you...” I do not bother listening anymore, and instead concentrate on inhaling in and out without choking.
Good to know that I almost died saving their lives, and the only thing they care about is how I am the key to their home!
I start blinking slowly, and try to focus on the floor below me. It is a stone floor, dark, but a small beam of light is coming from somewhere.
Is that..? I catch a glimpse of the edge of blue-green wings lying on the floor, further to my right. I keep inhaling, in and out, slowly. My eyes focus some more, and I note that we are in some form of stone tunnel that goes on further in front of me, disappearing into a sea of darkness.
I become more aware of the hand holding my chest, stopping me from collapsing onto the hard stony floor below my face. The hand, whose fingers are splayed over my small breasts under my jacket..
Damn!
There were 99 green bottles standing on the wall... I sing while staring at the floor below. Is that blood? Am I bleeding? What is that white froth below? Was I foaming in my mouth? Ew! How sexy of me! I think sarcastically, flexing my fingers slowly.
The two are still talking above me, and I know if I concentrate I can understand them. I do not want to though, for my head is throbbing. When I feel confident enough to try, I lift my hands tentatively, wanting to touch my face.
"Caroline?" I hear Ariel call with worry.
Ariel? Was he not dying a few minutes ago? But then I remember Raphael had been healing him, expending too much Essence in the process. That was why I was asked to absorb it. That is how I ended up in this situation.
The hand on my chest, pushes out a little more, propping me upwards, and I catch eye of Ariel's long lithe body stretched out on the edge of the stone wall, looking much better and stronger than I had last seen him. Though his body is still bruised and spattered with dried blood, I see no open wound. Uriel, that is crouched by his side, cradling his face in her bosom, rises quickly but gently. She glides over and stops to hover beside me, bending over to look into my face.
"I am so sorry, Caroline," she cries in English, emotion etched across her face and in her eyes. Yeah, so sorry that she almost killed her key home, I think to myself, but stay quiet.
"You don't know how much you scared us!" I stare back at her unblinking, and she manages a sad smile. "You are so brave. Now that I know how obedient you can be, and I’ll watch my words next time." A low growl of displeasure comes from a head above mine, and she turns to face it.
"I am really sorry, Archangel," she says in their strange tongue, before turning her face towards mine again. She takes out a long hanky from a pocket on her hips, and begins to dab at my face. I have no idea how she could fit such a large hanky into that pocket, considering how well-fitting that combat suit is.
Raphael lifts me effortlessly and settles me a moment later gently beside Ariel. My head, throbbing painfully and still feeling too heavy for my neck, plops forward. Raphael's warm fingers lift it again, and leans it against Ari
el, before flying off down the darkened tunnel.
Uriel crouches before me again, and continues wiping my face with the handkerchief gently, remorse etched across her face. Part of me is dying to tell her that it is okay, but the other part of is glad that one of these creatures is miserable for my sake.
Raphael comes back a few minutes later, stopping right before us.
"It's clear," he says to Uriel, before lifting me into his hands. Uriel picks up Ariel and her prisoner effortlessly on either of her hands, and follows Raphael through the dark tunnels. Just ahead I can make out the bright light getting close, as we advance.
We fly in into a brightly lit widened cave at the end of the tunnel, which is in fact a well-furnished, majestic looking apartment, for a cave underground.
Raphael is gentle as he drops me onto a plush white leather couch. As for Mr. Peacock however, he has a whole other thing coming. I watch Uriel place her hand on a spot on the golden-illuminated stone walls, and a large vault-like door swings open, revealing a solid stonewalled cell inside, into which she throws him roughly. He lands with a hard plop on the rock-hard floor, before the door promptly shuts behind him, and once again the plain chiseled stone walls stare back at me.
I watch as Uriel walks up to Ariel, who is seated on the armchair by the fireplace. Placing one of his hands over her shoulder for support, she helps him up and leads him through another door to what appears to be a brightly lit bathroom. I am left seated on the couch, dubbing at my nose, which still has dried blood stuck to it, with Raphael by the fireplace, stroking it to life. He then sits opposite me in the armchair Ariel had occupied a few minutes ago, and we remain so in silence.
I feel very uncomfortable. Not surprising considering all that had happened in the past few hours; my body's reaction to his that had irritated him, my near death experience due to a misunderstanding, my nose bleeding and spewing of white foam from my mouth.
I daren't hold my face up to meet his eyes. I can just imagine how terrible my face looks! He already showed me how much I revolt him when I had been clean and not looking too shabby, I can't bear to imagine just what he is thinking about me right now, looking as terrible as I do.
"How do you feel?" He asks this quietly and for a second I doubt if he has spoken at all. However a quick glance at his eyes shows he is looking at me- searching my face, so I deduct that he must have spoken up.
"Pitch perfect," I mutter sarcastically, my sore throat croaking in protest.
"Don't ever do that again," he states the clear command.
I feel his eyes boring my head, but I don't bother to look up. The last thing I want is to be scolded by this unfeeling monster. These creatures are nothing like the loving angels they teach in Sunday school or those one reads about in fairy tales and folklores. I have learnt that they are pragmatic creatures. Nothing they do or say results from emotion - at least not towards humans.
"Don't ever act fatally when Azrael is not around to stop you soul from passing on to the next world," he concludes. I remain immobilized, my throat hurts from my attempt to respond earlier, and my muscles are clamped tight after suffering continuous sporadic spasms just a short while back. I therefore do not bother to nod.
"Are you cold?" He asks, when he notices the shiver that rocks me, probably a residual spasm from the shock my body had put itself through. I do not answer, but he comes over, lifts me into his arms, glides with me towards the fireplace and deposits me onto a wooden rocking chair close to the fire.
He then floats back to his armchair by the other end of the fireplace. I am not cold, but I appreciate the seat by the fire, whose lively crackling ignites my senses back to life.
I don't know how long we stay like this, me on the rocking chair before the fire, stiff and still, and him on the other chair, staring at me. His stare does nothing to help ease my nerves, on the contrary, I’m highly strung at the moment.
When are Ariel and Uriel getting back? My thoughts are interrupted by a heavy blush as I hear unmistakable sounds coming from the door leading to the bathroom. A moan, something crashes, someone growls, a sharp cry..
Wow, those two are definitely having a good time in there! My whole stained face burns, and I daren't look up from the fire I am staring at to my left.
Is Raphael looking at me?
Silly girl, why would he be looking at me?
Should I steal a glance and confirm?
Why would you do that? Keep your head down! My head keeps up its conflict, and I don't know how much longer I can restrain from looking up at the blue-eyed devil sitting a few feet from me, with his searing body heat radiating through the air between us, floating over to me, splaying gently on my skin- taunting me. I just want... I just need...
I feel the approach of another angel, even before I hear him, and I immediately snap out of my stupid head.
"It's Azrael," Raphael states.
"Uh!" He exclaims before proceeding closer into the room. "There is so much sexual tension in here, dare I come in?" I blush even more, willing myself to disappear into the stone floor.
I however breathe in a sigh of relief when he says, "Somebody needs to tell U and A to keep it down!" Looks like Ariel and Uriel’s emotions have masked mine.
I now feel confident enough to raise my face from the fire and look up, but the golden haired stud flies into view so fast that I start back. He stops himself between the fire and me.
"What the..!" He exclaims, curbing my chin and lifting it up to the light. I must look quite terrible, for the face of the man I dislike most in this world etches into worry and anger as he looks up at his fellow brother.
"What happened?" Azrael growls dangerously.
"She almost died!" Raphael states as a matter of fact, his voice devoid of all emotion.
"What happened?" Azrael asks again, rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb in gentle strokes, and I surprise myself when I don't jerk away from his touch. I guess I really did forgive him. Plus I must be longing for some comfort after my trauma; a hug, a kind word, any comfort I can get. Such is the human nature anyway, we always need someone to empathize with us, even if it is our sworn enemy.
"I had to heal Ariel, fast, he was in too much pain. The son of man absorbed all the Essence that was being emitted, to protect us from detection."
I am so angry when he purposely negates to call me by my name, making it sound as though I am just an inanimate or an unimportant piece of it all. Why won't he acknowledge me and treat me with a little more respect? I of course maintain my silence.
"It was a lot of Essence," Raphael finishes with a low voice, the little emotion the voice betrays warms my heart.
"That much?" Azrael asks, watching my face with so much concern, and respect, that I wonder how I could ever have hated him.
"She was dying, but she still wouldn't let go."
"Is that why your hand is imprinted on her cheek?" Azrael growls at Raphael, tracing the swollen half of my still stinging face.
"I had to snap her out of it." Azrael doesn't respond. "I couldn't heal her, for she was hurting herself of her own free will."
"That is our Caroline, alright! Always willing to die," Azrael says, still staring into my face, referring to the night I had run out to kill him with a kitchen knife, yet I had known that he could have easily ended my life with a single swipe.
"But next time, only tempt death when I am with you, so that I can give you your life back," he says gently, looking deep into my eyes. "You are very special to us," he finishes off.
Don't I know it! I am your damn keys! Special indeed.
Azrael then leaves me and goes over to his brother, where they begin talking together in their strange language. I have no way of understanding them, and honestly, no interest. I shut my eyes to rest my still throbbing head.
I must have dozed off, but my eyes suddenly fly open, only to relax at the sight of Mulan, I mean Uriel, staring down at me.
"Let's get you cleaned up, dear," she says, lifting me up into her a
rms and floating with me towards the door leading to the brightly lit bathroom. She closes the door behind me before gently placing me to stand on the hard stone floor. She begins helping me get out of my soiled parka, but I brush her hands away with my shaking fingers when she makes to help me unzip my pair of soiled jeans.
"Now, don't look so disappointed," she says smiling. "I could always call in Raphael for you, or is it Ariel again?" She asks and giggles sweetly at the embarrassment that registers in my eyes and the unmistakable blush that spreads into my face and chest.
"Yeah, we can all sense your emotions. They are raging, more so because you are a teenager. Don't worry about it," she says, as I pull off my t-shirt and pull down my pants.
I keep my face hidden from her, hiding my blush at her words as I step into the filled bath she must have drawn for me. She begins to gently lather a wash cloth.
"I...” I try to talk but give up.
"Shh...” She says to me, scrubbing my face as grime and dirt blend into the water. The sight of it disgusts me- what a sight I must have been.
"Don't try to talk," she continues. "Just relax and breathe. Let your body recover from the shock, and then Raphael can try heal whatever will still be broken inside, ok?" I look at her with eyes from which I hope she interprets as consent and gratefulness.
"You are such a brave girl, so committed, so loyal and selfless. The very qualities humanity was modelled upon. It is a shame how much those qualities have corroded away over the years. So few are left with them, so very few," she says, probably rambling on so as to keep me relaxed and restful.
It is working.
"Love was always meant to be the greatest law, you know? We did not know it in the beginning, but we learnt from our mistakes. There could have been written tens of thousands of rules, but then they would just have been rules, broken or obeyed. But with love as the only rule, things would be different. With love as the only guideline, it becomes simpler to choose; love or hate, light or dark. No more confusion, and misinterpretation of the rules. The sons of man could finally choose without needing guidance. Their choice then became very simple - to love or to hate." She continues.