“Looking for the card?”
I jump back, startled. “Geez, you scared the crap out me.”
Olivia walks up to me and says, “Sorry.”
I turn back to her. “Do you have the card?”
“Maybe.”
“Did you read it?”
“Yeah, I wanted to see what dumbass doesn’t know you well enough to know that you hate flowers.”
“May I have it, please?”
She smiles and hands it to me, and then hovers as I read it: “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl. Good luck tonight. Stan.”
“You look disappointed.”
I lay the card down next to the flowers. “Of course not, who else would they be from?”
“Nash perhaps.”
“Nash knows I don’t like flowers. Plus, he doesn’t even know about the exhibit.”
“Oh, come on, you don’t think Julia told him?”
“No, she promised me she wouldn’t.”
“And you believe her?”
“Yes. I asked her not to tell him because I didn’t want any drama tonight. I just want to enjoy it.”
“You shouldn’t have invited me, then.”
I look up and smile, “I realize. Momentary lapse in judgment, won’t happen again.” As I walk away she slaps me on the butt.
“There’s my feisty girl. I’ve missed her.” I turn around and chuck my shirt at her. She catches it and smiles back.
An hour later, I’m waiting in the family room for Olivia. “Liv, let’s go. Traffic is going to be a nightmare downtown, and we still need to find a place to park.” I wait a few moments but my patience is gone. “Olivia!”
She finally walks out. “Calm down, calm down, I’m coming.”
I’ll never stop being jealous of her. She’s got legs for miles, she’s witty, funny, and as smart as they come, not to mention gorgeous. And even though I know she’s going to show me up, there is no one else I want by my side, or almost no one. I’ve thought about him all day. I’ve ached for him. I want to share this moment with him. All of this is possible because of him. He showed me how to live again, gave me a reason to get up and out of my house. Even if it was just to share a cup of coffee with someone, he did that, and I know I wouldn’t be standing here without him. And I didn’t even tell him about this. I look at the clock thinking he can still make it if I call now.
As I go to dial, Olivia walks up to me. “Ready?” I look at her and back down at my phone and drop it in my purse. I can’t believe I almost did that. Way to send a mixed message.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I say.
She walks out first, and I try to maneuver my clutch purse, keys, and the end of my dress that I’m holding in my hand as I lock the door. I can’t remember the last time I went to a black-tie event. I know it was with Jeff, but I try not to dwell on it. Tonight is about me, and I’m not going to be sad, not tonight. I finally manage to get the door locked, and as I turn to walk toward the car, I see Olivia standing next to a hummer limo. “Surprise. Now we don’t have to worry about parking.”
I smile and walk up to her. “You didn’t.”
“Hell yeah, I did! I was afraid you would kill us driving in those shoes.”
I hug her.
“Come on now, Parker. We’re all dolled up, and I need to land myself a man tonight. Plus, don’t thank me just yet, there’s one more surprise.”
My heart starts to race, and my fingers tingle as I grasp the door to steady myself while I lean into the hummer. I hear “Surprise” and scan the interior. I see my parents, Julia and Travis, Natalie and Robert, Melinda and Colt, and Stan. My eyes continue to shift throughout the limo, and then I pull back and look at Olivia.
“What’s wrong? You look disappointed.”
“No, no! Gosh no! This is great, thank you.”
“Oh shit, Parker, I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“You thought I meant Nash.”
I don’t try to continue to lie because she’ll see right through me. “It’s okay, this is great. Come on.” I begin to climb in, but she grabs my arm.
“Parker, I’m sorry. Julia and I thought you didn’t want him here, so we didn’t invite him. I’m sorry, if I had known...”
“Liv, stop, you did the right thing. It’s better this way. Now I can focus on the exhibit and not have to worry about what I’m going to say to him. Really. Come on, we’re late.” I climb in and put a smile on my face, thanking all of my family and friends for coming. Olivia climbs in behind me and squeezes my hand. I can’t look at her because if I do, I’ll cry.
Chapter 60
By the time we get downtown, my mood has lifted. Spending the last twenty minutes hearing my family and friends talk about how excited they are to see my pictures has made me almost giddy. My Dad tells me how proud he is, and my Mom can barely contain herself. I sit back and look at them and realize how blessed I am. These people stood by me when I was horrible to them, after I pushed them away and said things that I’ll regret until the day I die. But they forgave me. I smile and think about Jeff. He would be so proud of me. He wouldn’t have understood how I could walk away from being a lawyer, walk away from everything I worked for, but he would have supported me. It wouldn’t have made sense when he was here because I was a different person. But I’ve made peace with the decision. It makes sense to me now, and that’s where I need to live—in the present. I glance out the window realizing we’re only about a block away and all I can think about is Nash. I wish he were here.
We pull up and have to wait several minutes before the limo can get close enough to drop us off. Usually I would say screw it and walk, but I’m going to be standing all night in these shoes, so I wait. As I do, I hear a cork pop and watch as Melinda’s husband, Colt, opens a bottle of champagne. Melinda is passing out glasses as he pours champagne in each one.
Once everyone has one, Julia gives a toast. “To Jensen. The girl who never stopped dreaming, never stopped fighting and found a life she never dreamed of. Thank you for allowing us to share your special night. And for all the ones who aren’t here, remember they love you and they’re here in spirit.” She winks at me and then says, “To Jensen.” And everyone says “To Jensen” as we clink our glasses. Julia texted me the day after Nash showed up at the restaurant and apologized. I immediately forgave her, not only because it’s what Jeff would want, but because I know she loves her brother and was just trying to protect him. I also know that last part of her toast was about Nash just as much as it was about Jeff, but I’m glad she said it. It was just what I needed to hear before we exited. Now that we have, I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’ve stopped outside of the art gallery while my family and friends have started to make their way up the stairs. I look up and see a mountain ahead of me. Olivia turns back, realizing I’m not there, and comes back for me.
“You okay?” I can’t find my voice, so I shake my head. “Yeah you are. Come on kiddo, just a few more steps. Once you get in there, the nerves will disappear.” Is she crazy? I’m not going in there. What the hell was I thinking? I can’t do this. “Parker? Parker, don’t do this to me. I’ll drag you if I have to.”
“I’ll take it from here, Liv.”
I whip around and see Nash walking up beside me. My knees go weak, not because of my nerves but because of how good he looks in a tux. The pity that once made me run is gone, and now all I see is passion and a fight in him that makes me wonder if he’ll ever let me go. My heart jumps and I exhale as I look him up and down. Olivia smiles and retreats into the gallery.
“Hey, beautiful. Looks like you’re being a stick in the mud.” A laugh escapes from my mouth. “Ah, there’s my pretty girl.”
“Your jokes get lamer and lamer.” I look him over in awe that he is in front of me. He looks different with his close-cropped black hair. The type of hair you want to run your fingers through in order to feel the sensation of friction against your skin.
“Well, you haven’t been around fo
r me to practice.”
“Nash…”
“Don’t. This isn’t the time or the place, and that’s not why I’m here. We can deal with that later. Tonight is about you, and I wanted to be here for your first successful show.”
“It’s not a success yet.”
“Sure it is. This is a huge step for you, Jen. Don’t disregard it.”
Hearing him call me Jen chips away at something I put up. I find myself reaching for him, but unlike other times, I don’t stop myself. I cup his chin and watch him close his eyes. I move my hand down to his neck, and his eyes open and burn into me. My hand continues to move downward, and I straighten his tie, even though it doesn’t need straightening. I touch him as long as I can before I finally have the courage to take the next step. My first instinct is to grab on to him and have him lead the way, but I realize that I have to take this step on my own. And as if he knows that without me having to tell him, he steps back until we’re no longer touching and lets me go. Once I reach the first stair, I look back. “You coming?”
“Sorry, just enjoying the view.”
“Flirt.”
“Tease.”
I smile but don’t look back, afraid if I do, I might jump into his arms and demand he take me back to the limo. I’ve missed him, and now that he’s so close I feel myself being drawn to him. As we reach the doors, I feel his hand at the small of my back, and I know he’s not going anywhere. I push the heavy, ornate door and walk over the threshold. Just inside I see my family and friends smiling and laughing. I look up and see several of my photos scattered along the walls mixed in with other ones that I feel are so much better than mine. But I remember not to doubt myself and enjoy the moment. I turn back to find Nash and he’s gone. I panic for a second and then see Professor Hagan approaching me.
“You’re here. You look great.” She says.
“Thank you, so do you.”
“Thank you. Now remember what I told you. People buy the photographer just as much as they buy the photos, so put your best foot forward, but be yourself and don’t worry. This is just the beginning for you. You always remember your first time, so have fun.” I watch as she walks across the room calling after someone.
I glance around and decide to take her advice and try to mingle and sell myself. At one point Stan joins me, but I’m pulled away and his lips form in a straight line as I walk away. An hour later my face hurts from smiling, but I continue to do it to make sure I’m making good impressions. I’m listening to this same gentleman talk about the house he’s been renovating for two years, and now that it’s finally done he’s ready to fill it with art but isn’t necessarily a fan of photography. He’s more drawn to oil paintings, so I really want to ask, “Why are you talking to me then?” But of course I don’t. I try to keep eye contact with him when suddenly I see Nash behind the man who is droning on and on. He smirks at me, and I can tell by the look on his face he knows I want to get away from this guy. He has a glass of water in his hand, which he holds up and gives me a wink. I beam at him and then feel a touch on my arm. Professor Hagan is introducing me to another art gallery owner, talking up my work. I smile, shake their hand, and forget their name since I’ve met fifty people already. I glance over to where Nash was standing, but he’s no longer there. I’m on my tiptoes looking around for him when Professor Hagan tugs on my arm. “She would love to, wouldn’t you, Jensen?”
I smile and nod with no idea what I just agreed to. As I scan the room, I see Olivia flirting with an older gentleman and she catches my eye. She mouths What? And I mouth Nash. She looks around, shrugs, and then goes back to her conversation. Geez, thanks Liv.
As the night progresses, my eyes scan the thinned-out gallery, and I see my family and friends still mingling about. I have no idea what time it is, but by the ache of my feet, I would guess I’ve been here three hours. I haven’t talked to anyone I know since I got here. That’s not how I envisioned the night going, especially after Nash showed up. I continue to scan the massive room, knowing he’s still here. I’m surprised at where I find him.
His back is to me, and I see that he’s lost in one of my pictures. I walk up to him and run my hand down his arm. “I see you found my favorite.”
He turns to me and smiles. “This is your favorite?”
“Do you really need to ask?”
We both look back at the picture and he continues, “Well, I thought the one of Sammy and Chief might be your favorite. Wasn’t it one of your firsts?”
“It was the first. It’s certainly what started this, but without our cliff and this view, I wouldn’t even have known who I was.”
He angles his body toward me, and his hand brushes against mine. “I like how you call it our cliff.”
I turn to him and brush my hand against his. We look into each other’s eyes, and then he looks back at the photo, as do I. A few moments pass.
“We still need to see it at night, you know?” he says and then winks at me.
A wave of desire rushes through my core. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”
I drift toward him until I hear Professor Hagan yell out “Jensen!”
I stop, dragging my eyes away. I then realize Professor Hagan is pulling me away from Nash.
“It’s okay, go.”
“There is so much I want to say.”
“I know, me too. But like I said, tonight’s not the night. You know I’m not going anywhere.” He leans over and kisses me on the forehead.
This time I follow my heart. I reach out and lace my fingers through his. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I can’t put it into words, at least not right now. So I don’t. I smile, squeeze one more time, and say “Goodnight.”
He smiles. “See you soon, Jen.”
I resist the urge to follow him out the door and instead walk with Professor Hagan.
“Jensen! You’re not going to believe it. You set a record tonight.”
Trying to focus on Professor Hagan instead of Nash, I shake my head and look at her. “A record? What are you talking about?”
“Your picture, it sold for $2,500.” I see Olivia approaching with two champagne glasses in her hands. She walks past Nash, tilts one in his direction, and I see him nod at her before he walks out the door. She finally reaches me and hands me a glass. I take a drink. It’s the first drink I’ve had all night. “Are you listening to me?”
“Sorry, what?”
“Your picture was the highest sale of the evening! In fact, of any exhibit we’ve had showcasing students.”
“You sold something?” Olivia asks.
I take another swig and enjoy the refreshing taste of the champagne. “Apparently.”
“That’s awesome, how much?”
Beaming, Professor Hagan responds, “$2,500.”
Olivia spits her champagne out. Well, we almost made it through the night without her embarrassing me. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Woo hoo! Great job, kiddo. How much of that do you get to keep?”
“None of it Liv, it’s for charity.” I remind her.
“Oh… right.”
Professor Hagan is practically jumping up and down when she says, “Apparently, there was a bidding war between two overly enthusiastic gentlemen.”
Olivia’s eyebrows shoot up and she downs her champagne.
“Oh no.” I whisper to myself. “Let me guess. One was named Nash and one was named Stan.”
Olivia smiles. “Yeah, and I can bet which one won.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Nash wouldn’t have wanted to lose, but he’s not one to throw money around. This may have been the opportunity Stan was looking for.” I take a swig myself feeling horrible that the guy still thinks there is a chance. I panic as I start to glance around trying to find him. I’ve barely said two words to him all night.
“Don’t worry.” Olivia says, “I sent him off with Melinda and Colt.”
“Oh, thank God.” I turn back
to Professor Hagan. “So, who had the winning bid?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t release that information.”
Olivia and I say “What?” in unison.
“No, our clients remain confidential.”
Olivia rolls her eyes. “That’s a stupid rule.”
“Olivia!” I snap, even though I agree with her.
Professor Hagan shrugs. “I’m sorry, it’s our policy.”
I down the rest of my champagne, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I’m ready to get out of these heels. I’ll find out from one of them tomorrow what happened. “It’s fine. I’m just glad that something of mine sold to benefit the hospital.”
I watch as two workers from the gallery approach the first picture I took of Sammy and Chief. I continue to stare as they look behind the picture and slowly remove it from the wall. I’m so happy it didn’t sell. I didn’t want to part with it. Even though I have the original, I don’t know how long it will take me to afford to mount it professionally. Professor Hagan told me that I might be able to keep some of the pieces that don’t sell, and I don’t want anyone to have that piece. That picture changed my life.
“They’re going to clean up tonight?” I ask.
Professor Hagan turns to see what I’m looking at. “Tim, you’re not taking those down tonight, are you?”
Tim and the other worker gently lean the picture against the wall after removing it from where it hung. “Just the ones that sold.”
“Wait, that picture sold?” Realizing I said that rather loud, I try to act a little more nonchalant.
“Yes. The buyer demanded it be delivered first thing tomorrow morning, so we’re prepping it.”
Professor Hagan asks, “On a Sunday?”
“Yes, the buyer stated they need it tomorrow for something.”
I then look behind me to make sure the cliff picture is still on the wall, but it’s not. It’s also been taken down and leaning against the wall where it hung. I point to it and ask, “Did that one also sell?”
Tim looks where I’m pointing at and nods his head before going back to what he was doing. I now realize I need to work on prints that I’m not so emotionally invested in. I didn’t want to share that picture with the world. It was something that I felt should stay between Nash and me, and now it will hang in some stranger’s house. A stranger who will never appreciate it as we have. I feel my face start to flush, and before I can stop it, a single tear falls down my cheek. I feel Olivia wrap her arm around my shoulders and tell Professor Hagan goodbye. I expect Professor Hagan to stop us, but she doesn’t.
The Loss Between Us Page 28