by A M Snead
Garrett gave him a softer kiss then looked at the camera and smiled, and then it was over. The cameras shut off. “Come on,” Garrett said, “shower time.” He slid off the bed and grabbed Jack’s hands, hauling him up on his feet. Jack’s legs wavered, and he bumped against Garrett’s hard, damp body. Garrett laughed. “Let me help you.” Before Jack could protest, the guy picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. “There we go,” he chuckled and smacked his bare ass with a light swat and packed him away.
4 “The Approval”
THE studio was deserted when, wearing just a towel, Jack returned to grab his clothes and get dressed. The shower he and Garrett had shared had been quick with only minimal conversation, and Garrett had left before Jack was finished washing. Because of Garrett’s playfulness and cockiness on camera, Jack had half expected him to continue it in the shower. But when Jack had given a clear indication that he was up for it, Garrett had instead seemed eager to wash up and get out.
Jack cussed at himself for the twinge of disappointment that was left behind by Garrett’s departure. He should be thanking his lucky stars that Garrett’s demeanor on camera was just an act, because the way the man had been affecting him was dangerously powerful. If it had been for real, Jack wasn’t positive he could have resisted. And that was one place he didn’t want to go.
Jack slipped into his t-shirt and pulled on his jeans as he continued to puzzle over Garrett’s actions, despite his insistence that it didn’t matter and he didn’t care.
“Hey.”
His fingers paused while fastening his pants and he looked up, admittedly startled to see Garrett lingering in the doorway. He had thought the guy was long gone. His dark blond hair was a few shades darker when wet and his gray/green eyes surveyed Jack, not with the cockiness that Jack had quickly become accustomed to, but with a softer gaze that caught him off guard. Jack nodded and finished buttoning his pants. “Hey.”
The man pursed his lips and glanced around with an anxious air then stepped into the studio. “I just…I wanted to apologize if I touched on a sensitive subject earlier.”
Jack frowned and tucked his shirt into his jeans. “What?”
“With the tattoos and talk of your sister,” Garrett said. “It just seemed like you kind of balked at the mention of her. A little, anyway.”
Jack shrugged. “No, it’s okay.”
Garrett absently scraped his temple with his index finger. “You…” He faltered. “You spoke of her in the past tense.” Garrett looked at him and left it at that. He obviously didn’t want to cross any lines and was leaving it to Jack whether to expound on the matter.
“Yeah.” Jack averted his eyes and grabbed his shoes. He sat on the bed and slipped them on. “She got sick last year.” His throat tightened. “Leukemia.” He leaned on his knees and stared at the floor. “She passed away about six months ago.”
“Fuck,” Garrett breathed. “God, man, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I wouldn’t have asked about the tattoos if I had known…”
Jack sat up straight. “It’s all right,” he said. “She loved hearts, roses, and dragons.” He smiled but knew that the sadness inside him showed clearly on his face. “This one”—he indicated the tattoo on his neck—“I got right after she passed away. The face of the girl reminded me of Jill, and the rose in her hair was perfect.”
He didn’t know why he was telling Garrett this, he didn’t even know the man—well, except maybe in the biblical sense, but that was about all. Yet he found himself continuing. “I had it put on my neck because…” He swallowed past the sudden knot in his throat. “Because she had a way of hugging me around the neck. Nearly choked me every time.” The memory brought another smile to his lips and a sting to his eyes. “The tattoo kind of made it feel like she was still hugging me.”
Garrett just stared at him.
“It’s dumb, I know.” Jack shrugged and looked away. “But I’d just lost her and—”
“Hey.” Garrett shook his head. “It isn’t dumb. I think it’s kind of beautiful. But I didn’t mean to stir up painful memories.”
“You didn’t,” Jack assured. “Jill…she didn’t want me to withdraw into a state of depression after she was gone. Through it all”—his lips tightened—“she was more worried about me than herself. She made me promise to live my life to the fullest, to follow my dreams.” An ache squeezed his jaw. “She just wanted me to be okay.”
Garrett stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and asked softly, “And are you?”
Jack stood up. He wasn’t sure what to make of Garrett. The guy had seemed in a hurry to vacate the shower, yet here he was, back again and displaying genuine concern. He didn’t know if it was wise revealing his personal issues; the last thing he needed was to bond with this man. But something in the way Garrett gazed at him strained the barrier he was struggling to maintain between them.
“I’m working on it.” He shrugged. “I have my good days and bad days. But for Jill’s sake, I try to outweigh the bad with the good.”
Garrett nodded slowly, thoughtful. “Well, you know…” He shifted and pursed his lips. “If you ever want to talk…” A flicker of his previous cockiness sparkled through his eyes. “I’m a great listener as well as a fantastic lover.”
Fantastic definitely wasn’t an exaggeration. “Thanks.” Jack smiled but it wavered somewhat. “It’s just…I find that I get by better by not talking about it, just leaving it alone.”
“I understand.” Garrett nodded. “Just don’t let it fester, you know.”
Jack did know. He often wondered if keeping it all inside wouldn’t someday come back on him. But his relationship with his twin sister was too special to just blurt out to anyone who happened to be willing to listen at the moment. He was sure Garrett meant well, but Jack didn’t even talk to his own parents about the hole Jill’s death left in his heart—he didn’t really see himself spilling it all to a guy he’d just been paid to fuck.
“Yeah,” Jack murmured.
The way that Garrett was looking at him made Jack uncomfortable, as if the man could see his thoughts. “Jack,” he said, “it’s okay to be angry. Life is unfair. And sometimes you just have to throw a big ole ‘fuck you’ in its face and vent.” A smile quirked his lips. “I know lots of ways to vent, if you ever need some suggestions.” He turned and walked to the door.
Jack stared at him silently.
Garrett paused in the doorway and chuckled. “I didn’t mean that.” He shrugged and winked. “Not that I’m opposed.” He started to leave then snapped his fingers. “Oh, Gideon wants to see you.” He smiled. “I think you impressed him.”
♥
Gideon motioned him inside when Jack approached the doorway to his office. Jack glanced around and thought it looked more like a study than an office with the tall oak bookshelves, large mahogany desk, and a dark maroon carpet. The lighting was soft and emanated out from the desk lamp rather than a glaring overhead light. Along with the lamp, only two other items had been allowed on the desktop.
One of the items being a glossy wooden pencil holder that looked like it was made in a high school wood shop and bore the carving of a cross and a dove on one side. It was a traditional religious emblem and not at all what Jack had expected to find in Gideon’s office, or anywhere else in his home for that matter. The second item was a framed photo facing Gideon’s chair, making it impossible for Jack to see the identity of the occupants. The remainder of the desktop was spotless.
Two leather armchairs were situated before the desk and Gideon motioned for Jack to take a seat.
“I have to say,” Gideon told him when Jack settled into one of the leather chairs, “you’re very good at what you do. Your performance on camera was very natural. That’s good. Some people are cursed with stage fright and never get over it.” Gideon leaned back in his chair and smiled. “So now that you’ve done a scene, do you think it’s what you want to keep doing?”
Jack nodded. “Yeah. I think so. I mean
, I thought I might be too nervous in front of the cameras, but I was barely even aware of them.”
“Yeah.” Gideon chuckled. “Garrett’s a great distraction.”
Indeed. Jack smiled. “Yeah, he is.”
“You two seemed to mesh quite well,” Gideon said. “Would you be up for shooting more scenes with him in the future?”
“Of course.” Jack nodded. “Does this mean you’re hiring me?”
Gideon sighed, a soft smile touching his lips. “I think you’ll be a nice addition to our little family.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. “So next, we’ll have you shoot a solo, let the viewers get to know you a little better. Then I was thinking maybe you could do a pool skit with Lucas.”
Lucas Black. Jack had seen some of his videos. He was a beautiful specimen and just what he needed to get his mind off Garrett. “Skit?”
“Yes,” Gideon explained. “Some scenes we shoot are simply sex scenes, like the one you shot with Garrett today. And others are little skits, like a mini movie scene where the boys play an actual role. Think you can do that?”
Jack licked his lips and nodded. “Shouldn’t be a problem.” He smiled. “I took drama in high school.”
“Well good enough then.” Gideon chuckled and stood up. Jack rose from his chair and the two walked to the doorway. Gideon rested his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I think you’re going to like it here, Jack. I’ve yet to have a boy leave me because he was unhappy.”
“I’m sure I’ll like it a lot,” Jack agreed.
“Well, if you have nowhere else to be at the moment,” Gideon said, “hang out, explore the place. Get acquainted with the other boys. You’ll find them scattered all over.” He chuckled. “Most of them pretty much live here. Good thing I don’t need my privacy.”
Jack laughed softly. “I would love to stick around for a while. The only place I have to go is back to my hotel room. No hurry on that.”
“Great,” Gideon said. “Do you think you’ll be ready to shoot the solo by tomorrow? We can wait a couple days if you want. Up to you.”
“No.” Jack shrugged. “Tomorrow is good.”
“All right. We’ll start shooting around eleven, so try to be here by ten so we can go over a few things first.”
Jack nodded. “Not a problem.”
“All right.” Gideon smiled. “Well, like I said. Hang out, meet some of the boys and I’ll see you tomorrow at ten.”
5 “The Paper Heart”
THE studio was housed within a spacious structure that Gideon had explained was once an inn. It served his purposes well with its multiple rooms, many of which had been turned into studios. The west wing had been sectioned off for private living quarters and Gideon had made a nice home for himself, with plenty of room for the boys who wished to stay there as well.
The balcony that stretched along a second-floor string of rooms overlooked a large outdoor pool, in which some of the guys were goofing off. The place had been constructed a few miles out of the city and claimed a few acres of wooded area that pressed right up against the immaculate lawns. Jack liked the peace and quiet. In some ways, he thought as he leaned on the rail and watched the boys in the water, it had a surreal feel like they were in a different world than the one on the other side of those trees. And a considerable change from what he was used to in Southern California.
That world “out there” had a way of beating the hell out of a person. This one felt safer, even euphoric to some degree. Jack could imagine staying right here, for the rest of his life. There was nothing out there for him anymore, not since he lost Jill.
He reached in his pocket and withdrew the lone item. A small, red paper heart cut out of construction paper and folded in half. He rested his elbows on the rail and slowly unfolded it. Words had been scribbled across the center by a simple ballpoint pen: Make a new friend.
Jack smiled, sadness enveloping his heart as it always did when he thought of his sister. “Make a new friend,” he whispered and sighed. Did Garrett count? A short laugh escaped him. He wasn’t sure about that. Did having sex with a guy in a porn shoot qualify as “making friends”? They had certainly made a connection but he didn’t know if it was as friends.
“You must be Jack.” The sudden voice startled Jack and he turned quickly. “Gideon said you were wandering around here somewhere.” The guy was a sight to behold with his jet-black hair and clear blue eyes. Wearing only snug swim trunks, Jack was afforded a good look at his tanned, well-sculpted body. He was maybe a couple inches taller than Jack, so they were nearly eye level when he thrust out his hand. “I’m—”
“Lucas Black.” Jack shook his hand; he would know this guy anywhere.
Lucas retained his grip, his smile widening. “My reputation precedes me.”
“Yes.” Jack nodded, laughing softly.
“Aww.” Lucas released his hand and flattened his palm to his chest. “I’m flattered.”
“Whatever, you arrogant bastard.” Garrett appeared out of nowhere and smacked Lucas on the back of the head, grinning. “You ain’t such hot shit.”
“Hey.” Lucas scowled and swept his hand down his head. “The hair, dude.” He smirked at Garrett. “And what do you mean I’m not hot shit? Tell that to the new guy. Did he know your name on sight?”
Garrett rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Fuck you.”
“Been there, done that.” Lucas winked.
Jack laughed softly and glanced at Garrett. The man leaned casually against the corner of the rail and smiled at Jack. “Don’t pay him any mind.” He jerked his head toward Lucas. “He suffers from delusions of grandeur.”
Clearing his throat, Jack chuckled but didn’t reply. He absently twisted the paper heart through his fingers. Make a new friend. Maybe that was a possibility after all.
“Go blow yourself,” Lucas sneered and stepped between Garrett and Jack, leaning one elbow on the rail. “You’re boring, I want to talk to the new hottie.” He rested his chin on his fist and grinned at Jack. “So, you going to be staying here on the property?” He raised a slow, sexy eyebrow. “We can be roomies. I got a nice big bed that I don’t mind sharing.”
Garrett caught Jack’s gaze and rolled his eyes with exaggeration and shook his head, grinning.
Licking his lips, Jack ducked his head and laughed.
“What?” Lucas twisted around and eyed Garrett. “You talking about me behind my back?”
“Well, if I was talking about you.” Garrett smirked. “You would have heard me, now wouldn’t you?”
“Fine.” Lucas scowled. “Gesturing about me then.”
Garrett shrugged innocently. “I wasn’t doing anything.” He winked at Jack. “Right, Jack? Back me up, baby.”
That tingle skittered through him again with Garrett’s use of baby. “Uh…” Jack chuckled.
“Don’t lie for him, gorgeous,” Lucas said. “I know he’s full of shit.”
Garrett groaned. “Oh, get away from him.” He playfully shoved Lucas away and took his place next to Jack, his arm dropping around Jack’s shoulder. “I already called dibs on this one. Watch the video, it’s on there.” Heat rushed through Jack’s body as Garrett hugged him against his side with mock possessiveness. “Go find one of your many adoring fans to warm your bed.”
“Maybe Jack is one of my adoring fans.” He smiled wryly. “Huh, Jack?”
“Hey.” Jack shook his head and untangled from Garrett’s arm and held up his hands. “I’m not getting into this rumble.” The paper heart was pinched loosely between his fingers and was caught by a sudden light gust and tugged free. “Shit.” Jack leaned over the rail as the heart fluttered down toward the patio surrounding the pool.
“Look what you did,” Lucas berated Garrett. “You made him drop his…thingy.”
“Never fear.” Garrett winked and thrust his hand into the air. “I shall rescue your heart.” He grabbed the rail and vaulted over.
Jack’s eyes bulged. “What’re you doing?” he gasped and
leaned over the rail again, his quickened pulse calming a bit as he realized there was some kind of trellis off the side of the balcony that Garrett was now climbing down.
“Fuckin’ show-off.” Lucas snorted and walked to the rail, looking over. He glanced at Jack. “Watch, he’ll take the stairs back up though.”
Jack’s lips tightened with a smile and he shifted his gaze back to Garrett as the man released the trellis a few feet from the ground and jumped free. He scooped up the paper heart from where it had come to rest in a clump of shrubbery and grinned up at Jack. “Your heart is safe!”
The guys in the pool glanced his way but must have been used to his shenanigans and simply shook their heads and went back to their horseplay. As Lucas predicted, Garrett jogged to the stairs and bounded upward.
“See?” Lucas smirked and turned around, his hips resting against the rail. When Garrett approached, Lucas cocked an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you climb back up, Tarzan?”
“Didn’t want to show you up too bad.” Garrett reached out and ruffled Lucas’ hair and laughed when the guy smacked his hand away. “What with you being scared of heights and all.”
“Oh, go to hell,” Lucas grumbled and shoved away from the rail. He combed his fingers through his hair until the ebony strands were back under control. He shot Jack a sexy, flirtatious grin. “Lookin’ forward to the pool scene, gorgeous.” He winked.
“What? You’re not going to flirt with me too?” Garrett grinned when Lucas started to walk away.
Lucas flashed an evil smile. “Flirt with this,” he sneered and flipped him off then trotted down the stairs and ran and jumped in the pool.
“I see you two have a special affection for each other.” Jack chuckled.
“Is it that obvious?” Garrett shook his head and laughed softly. “Lucas is cool. And hot as hell, but we can’t tell him that or his head would explode.”
“Ah, I see.” Jack nodded and watched Lucas cavorting with the other boys in the pool.